During the second deer I began to realize how much I hate skinning animals. It took too long and after awhile it's boring. No matter how my people thought skinning animals was a part of our people's history and culture I wouldn't be caught dead skinning anything for just the hell of it.
"Why did I get picked to do this," I mumbled to myself forgetting that my pack mates had excellent hearing.
"You were picked because I know that you can do this without ruining the pelt. You have a gift that many of our people don't know how to do. Which sadly isn't their faults but their parent's and grandparent's," Sam said sounding sad as he continued to skin his deer. "This skill is supposed to be passed down to each generation as a way of not forgetting past."
Feeling kind of guilty that I was complaining about it I went back to my deer. I never thought of it as passing our history down to the next generation. I thought of it as a waste of time that could be spent doing many better things.
Finishing the deer I laid the pelt out so it could dry and be use for whatever. Turning back to the now skinned deer I had a large amount of respect fer what I was doing. Did I still think it was boring? Yes, but there was a new found respect and honor to it now.
"Alright boys go clean up and I'll cut the meat," Sam said looking for his butcher knife.
"Ah...Sam can we use the hose," Quil asked sheepishly. "Clair is going to freak if she sees any blood on us."
"I'm sure Embry and Jared wouldn't mind spraying you two down."
"Sweet." Quil practically ran outside in joy.
"How do you feel about imprinting," I asked staring at the back door.
"Mm..." Sam started cutting into the first deer as he thought over the question. "At first I hated it. I hated everything that it was doing to me and everyone around me. I couldn't stop thinking about my fiance's cousin. The way she smile, walked, laughed, and smelled was burned into my mind. After a few weeks of dreaming about her and barely being able to handle the pain that shot through me every time I touched Leah I couldn't take it anymore. I left Leah and chased after Emily for two monthes until she finally gave in. Right now though I can say that I kinda like it." He paused as he moved to the next deer. "You can tell that each imprint is good for each other and you can tell how much more control of over the wolves that the imprinted ones have now."
That was true but he still said he kinda liked it now. Was this an attempt at changing subjects? "You said you kinda like it," I said looking into the living room to see Leah and the other imprints not paying any attention to us. Even thought I'm pretty sure she was listening to our conversation.
"I still love her," he sighed knowing that he failed at changing the subject. At the same time I watch Leah tense slightly. I turned back to Sam waiting for him to continue. "And I know she loves me too...but it's not enough anymore. It hasn't been enough since I laid eyes on Emily." Pausing for a brief second he looked at me and the expression of a kicked puppy he was giving to me made me winch. "You know there's a part of me that wants to know if I just wasn't good enough for her."
To hear this confession shocked me to the core. I always knew Sam still loved her but I never knew that he carried this much doubt about himself. He was our Alpha and has always strong. There was never an ounce of doubt when it came to him. As alpha your emotions rubbed off on the rest of the pack. So to hear this made me worried to say the least.
"It's better this way," I said softly. "It's not about being enough. It's about-"
"About making stronger wolves," Sam growled cutting me off. "All you know is imprinting crap was hard for me and some of the others. You weren't there for the whole thing."
I swallow the lump in my throat as I stared at Sam. "B-but it th-that what you think," I stuttered.
"I think it's to calm the wolf and to reward us for everything that we had to give up once we became wolves." Sighing softly he grabbed a new knife and went back to work. After a few awkward minutes of silence he began talking again. "Why did you ask?"
"I-I was...," I stuttered feeling a light blush creep onto my face. This always happens when I talk to any of the older wolves because I was so damn young. I hated it because I was always under everyone's watch because everyone thought that I would lose my shit quickly. "I only hear about how great sex is and I was kind of wondering what someone felt about the whole imprinting thing. And since your the Alpha I-I th-thought you were th-the best person to ask about it," I stuttered even more.
Sam chuckled lightly. "I see. You must think I despise imprinting now," he stated more so then asked. "I don't depise it, I just don't like how it happened. A fool wouldn't be able to see how perfect Emily and I are together but I wish it happened easier where no one ended up hurt." Nodding my head I took a quick look at the imprints. "You should go spray yourself off before Embry and Jared finish up."
Even though it wasn't an order my body moved as if it was one. That was the problem with being a young wolf you didn't think you just moved.
A/N: I have just a few things to say. Thing one I'm sorry that the first couple of chapters are so short but I will be making them longer once he sees Bella. Next thing is please get this story out there. Have friends read it or if your a writer mentioning it in your a/n would be awesome. I know that not many people look for this pairing but I hope with your guys help that more people start looking for it. The final thing is I will be updating the rest of my stories as soon as I get a day off of work. SO thank you for read. Reviews are always welcomed.