A/N: Twilight is the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just having fun with her characters.
This is for flamingpen18,who challenged me to write this.
This is my first fic. Let me know what you think.
"Hey, Human!" I turned to see the carefree Cullen brother,grinning madly at me.
"Hey, Em. What's up?" I asked.
His grin widened. "We're going out tonight, and don't worry. I won't let you hurt yourself." He teased, tossing me up in the air and slinging me over his shoulder.
"Why are we going out?"
"Since Eddie boy is out hunting, I thought we could hang out, without spazzykins breathing down our necks." I laughed at the nickname. How true. " Let's go, Klutz."
We ended up going to a movie. It was a vampire romance about two brothers who were in love with the same girl. She' dating one while the other tries to manipulate their relationship. Emmett whispered all kinds of jokes in my ear. He said everything from; "Vampires don't burn", "What idiot dreampt this up?", "How stupid", " What a sleez ball", "That blond chick is so self centered", and my favorite "Maybe she's Rose's twin". We were shushed by so many people and were nearly kicked out of the theater.
"Let's go eat. Gotta keep the human fed," he sang. Em picked a local restaurant and practically teased the waitress into giving him a corner seat in the back."This seat has a good view, " he explained. Of everyone eating, I wondered.
"Can I start you off with something to drink?" the waitress asked. We both ordered water. When we got our drinks, Emmett pulled some ice out of his cup and winked at me. The ice disappeared, and I heard a lady scream from across the room, "There's ice in my bra!". Emmett started to chuckle, which caused me to laugh. I knew full well that he was the culprit. Finally, everyone in the restaurant was laughing at the woman. She stormed out, leaving her husband to pay the bill and hurry after her.
When everyone quieted down, we were able to order our food. We both decided to order the meat and cheese ravioli. I was interested in seeing where it was going.
"What are you going to do with it?" I asked him.
He forked a ravioli and held it up. I barely saw his wrist move, but I did notice the ravioli was missing. "Ping," he said, as another lady screamed. I watched as more and more of his raviolis disappeared. . "Ping , ping, ping." More people were hit and some started to argue. As Em flung his last ravioli, people began to throw food at each other.
Suddenly, it was an all out food fight. All of it thanks to my vampire brother. We hid under our table, laughing our butts off!
"Why the ping, ping, ping?"
He snorted. " Sound effects make everything funnier."
We stayed there listening to the shouts of the other diners. "There's crab in my bra!", "There's chicken in my underwear!", " Where's my toupee?". We started laughing again.
What the hell is going on?" Everything stopped. The manager appeared. "Who is responsible for this?" he yelled. People started shouting at each other. " Enough! Seeing as how you are all covered in food, you will all take part in the clean up. Not to mention, you will still be paying your bills," he ordered. Emmett and I climbed out from under the table, catching the manager's attention."You're clean," he observed.
Emmett stood tall and puffed out his chest. " Yeah, we didn't want a food bath. It's very unbecoming, you know?"
The man stared in fear. "I-I'm so sorry sir! Please forgive this restaurant. We meant no harm. You can go, and your bill is on the house. Besides, it's so obvious that you weren't apart of this!".
"Thank you."Turning to me, Emmett says, "Let's go."
When we got tot he Jeep, we were roaring with laughter, "So obvious you weren't apart of this. Ha!I laughed."
" Yea, I'm an innocent angel," he mocked. His laughter ceased, as he looked passed me.
"Crap!" I turned to see a very angry Edward. " That's the price of fun, I guess."