A/N: This is a sort of stream-of-consciousness fic which some of you may find hard to follow. The idea is to write as a thought process of sorts as opposed to conforming to the rules of grammar, so punctuation and sentence structure take up new meanings (except for the numbers which just serve to differentiate one stream from the next). Do your best anyway, and enjoy. :)


Conscience

1.

You'll be all alone with Sei-chan. Hehe…I wonder if you've figured it out yet. You've always been so blind to your own feelings, even when you can fit the whole world into that heart of yours…

I know you better than you do sometimes – your heart anyway. You pack it so full with others' pain or joy that you freeze the part that belongs only to you.
I know its selfish of me, but I was happy with Sei-chan lost his eye…because you acted human. Acted selfish too…just like we all are, deep down…

.

.

I know it's selfish of me

To take such a gamble; I am gambling – your life, your happiness…

.

Please

.

Because you can't go on like this.

.

.

So
Please

.

Sei-chan, don't hurt him.

I'm trusting you
With him.


2.

Oh, men in nightclubs are so stupid, so their stories are always so
Huh?

.

Wha-?

What was that?

.

.

Something's wrong.

.

The sun feel's…cold.

But it's still shining
Up there in the sky.

So…

.

Subaru?

.

.

.

.

No…

.

.

Subaru!


3.

Subaru! When I heard the hospital, I thought –

.

Subaru? Are you okay?

.

.

Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?

.

.

.

Subaru? Are – are you –

.

.

Subaru?

.

.

Your hands! The Sakurazukamori – ! … Sei-chan – he was – he did – he –

.

I – I –

I'm so so sorry –


4.

Subaru, aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten anything.

.

Maybe you don't like the hospital food. Can't blame you. What is this stuff anyway? Don't worry though; I brought you some homemade onigiri. Here.

.

.

.

You won't eat them, will you.

.

.

That's okay.

I wouldn't eat by my hand either.

After all, I'm the one who encouraged you both
Even though

I knew

The risks

.

And the blood...


5.

Subaru…

.

Little brother..?
Where have you gone..?

You promised you'd never leave again
But…

.

.

Subaru!
No…that wasn't for me, was it.

You're just…you're in your own world –

.

Where has he taken your soul?

Where?


6.

It wasn't supposed to be – be like this.

.

You were supposed to be happy.
You were suppose to live.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

.

I've hurt you

So so much

.

You don't want to endure this, do you?
You can't – you're too gentle, too kind.

But I –
I can't let you die.

I can't.

.

I know I'm being selfish…
But…
You have to live.

You have to live
Subaru.

.

.

.

Seishiro…Sakurazuka Seishiro…

Sei-chan…

Let me trust you
This one last time.

Because I want him to live

And be happy.

.

So…

Let me trust my dream
To you.

.

.

Please
Don't lie this time

.

And Subaru…

.

.

Come back.