A one-shot about Katniss and Prim watching Dora the Explorer.
Katniss sat down next to Prim in the nice, cushioned sofa in their new house at Victors Village. Prim was watching a Kids Show on TV, and Katniss, who had nothing better to do, decided to join her.
Katniss raised an eyebrow when she saw the little girl with the huge head on the TV.
"What is that?" She asked Prim, not understanding how it was possible for a girl to have such a huge head.
"Dora the Explorer," Prim said, not taking her eyes off the screen.
Katniss narrowed her eyes as a little monkey joined the girl with the big head.
"And who is that?"
"His name is Boots."
"Because of his red boots?"
"I think so, yeah."
"Ah." Clever, Katniss thought to herself as she rolled her eyes at the monkey with the red boots.
"Why is he wearing boots?" She asked Prim after a few moments of silence.
Prim shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he's cold."
"So why is he only wearing boots? Why isn't he wearing any clothes?"
Prim shrugged her shoulders again, not really caring, and still didn't take her eyes off the TV screen.
Another few minutes passed by in complete silence.
"How can that Dora girl wear shirts? Her head is too big. How can she pull that tiny shirt over her gigantic head?"
"I don't know, Katniss."
Katniss looked at the screen in wonder as Dora's backpack began to sing.
"Backpacks can't sing," She said, confused.
"This backpack can," Prim replied.
The map then started singing too.
"I don't understand this show," Katniss said with a frown.
Prim just stared at the screen like she was hypnotized.
The show continued, and Dora and Boots started following the clear directions their singing map gave them to get to the Mountain of Friendship.
They stopped suddenly, looking at the viewers of their show expectantly. Behind them there was a road, leading to The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles, one of the places their map sang about.
"Where is The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles?" Dora asked the viewers, apparently unable to search and look for it herself.
"Behind you," Katniss replied simply.
"Do you see The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles?"
Katniss frowned. "Yes. It's behind you."
"Can you tell me where The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles is?"
"Goddammit, it's behind you! Turn around, it's right there!"
A blue arrow clicked on The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles, drawing Dora's attention to it.
"Oh, there it is!" She said with a cheerful smile, finally seeing what was behind her all this time.
Prim clapped her hands enthusiastically. "I knew she'd find it!"
Katniss couldn't help but growl at the stupid girl and her stupid monkey friend.
Dora and Boots continued with their journey and, after they got past The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles, they got to their second destination, The Sea of Friendly Man-Eating Sharks.
"We need to get to the other side of The Sea of Friendly Man-Eating Sharks," Dora announced as Boots jumped up and down beside her without any apparent reason.
"We need a boat! We need a boat!" Boots declared loudly, looking excited for some reason.
"Yes, we do." Dora nodded her head in agreement and turned to look at the viewers once again. "Where can we find a boat?"
Behind her, there was a squirrel whose yellow car turned from a car to a boat and back to a car.
"The squirrel has one," Katniss murmured quietly as Prim leaned forward in her seat, looking at the screen with wide eyes.
"Please, tell me where I can find a boat," The stupid girl requested.
Katniss couldn't stand it anymore.
"Maybe if you'd look around instead of relying on us you'd notice that there's a boat right there!"
The blue arrow clicked on the squirrel and his car-boat.
"Yes, Tico the Squirrel has a boat!" Boots smiled, still jumping up and down in his place.
After they got to the other side of the sea and the Friendly Man-Eating Sharks waved at them excitedly, Dora and her friend Boots turned to look at the viewers once again.
"Now we need to go and find the –" Dora started, but was interrupted by the sound of leaves moving.
"Oh-oh," She said, still looking directly at the viewers and not around her like any normal person would do, "I think it's Swiper the Fox!"
Boots looked at the viewers with big, wide eyes. "Swiper! He'd try and steal our Friendship Rings!"
A fox appeared from behind a bush, smirking and walking towards the girl with the big head and the monkey with the boots slowly. Extremely slowly.
"We need your help!" Dora said to the viewers loudly. "You need to say, 'Swiper, no swiping!'. Say it with us!"
"SWIPER, NO SWIPING!" Prim said loudly.
Katniss raised an eyebrow.
"Again! Swiper, no swiping!"
"SWIPER, NO SWIPING!"
"One more time!"
"SWIPER, NO SWIPING!"
The fox, whose gloved hand was just a few inches from the highly-unprotected Friendship Rings, looked disappointed. "Awh, man!" He said, then ran away.
"Yay!" Dora and Boots said excitedly, smiling.
Katniss frowned. "What? Why didn't he steal those stupid rings?"
"Because they said, 'Swiper, no swiping!' three times."
"He can't steal their things if they say it three times."
Prim shrugged her shoulders, really not caring much about the stupidity of the show.
Katniss was feeling like she was losing IQ points fast.
"Now, let's find the Mountain of Friendship!" Dora said, not looking at where the mountain was, behind her obviously.
After some help from their viewers, ("IT'S THERE! THE MOUNTAIN IS RIGHT THERE, YOU BRAINLESS GIRL!"), Boots and Dora made their way up the Mountain of Friendship.
When they finally got to the top of the mountain, they exchanged their Friendship Rings and smiled.
"We did it, we did it, we did it, YEAH!"
Prim sang along, clapping her hands excitedly.
Katniss wanted to kill herself.
"We walked through The Forest of Friendly Man-Eating Moles, yeah we did it, we did it, we did it, YEAH!"
'Don't kick the TV, don't kick the TV, don't kick the TV', Katniss kept saying to herself in her head, fighting the strong desire to ruin the TV so that she won't have to see or listen to this show ever again.
"Then used Tico's boat to get to the other side of The Sea of Friendly Man-Eating Sharks, yeah we did it, we did it, we did it, YEAH!"
Now Dora sang alone.
"Swiper the Fox tried to sweep our precious friendship rings, so we told him 'Swiper, no swiping!' and then exchanged the rings!
YEAH! Ooh, oh YEAH! We did it!"
Prim clapped her hands again, her eyes tearing because of the oh-so-happy-ending.
Katniss looked at the Screen blankly.
The show finally ended, and Prim turned to look at Katniss expectantly.
"So? What did you think?" She asked her unresponsive older sister.
Katniss took her time to answer.
"This," She said finally, carefully choosing her words, "Was worse than being in The Hunger Games."
Let me quote what's written on 'Urban Dictionary' about Dora the Explorer:
"Literally an insult to ANYONE'S intelligence. This isn't for pre-schoolers, this is for people in comas."
I just saw an episode of Dora the Explorer with my three-year-old cousin and thought about writing a one-shot about it.
So I did.
Hope you enjoyed it and that I made a few of you laugh, and have a lovely day :)