Of Blogging and Irrational Jealousy
or, Beck Oliver finds out more than he should when he stalks Jade's tag on Tumblr.

For a guy with no secrets, Beck Oliver sure has a lot of secrets.

Like for one, he runs a blog on some website called Tumblr. Sometimes he sits for hours on end, reblogging pictures of cars and answering anons (or anonymous questions), all of them speaking about how attractive he is. As far as he knows, no one knows about his website – or, well, Robbie might, but Beck honestly doesn't care if Robbie does.

And second, Beck is still in love with Jade West. Maybe that's not a secret, but Beck would like to think it is. Some nights he spends with Jade's Slap page open in one tab, waiting eagerly for her to post a status update. Other nights he spends perusing Google, checking all of the results for Jade West. Sure, maybe it's a bit creepy, but that's why it's a secret. No one has to know.

Then one night, he gets the bright idea to combine the two. You see, Tumblr has this thing called tags, and he thinks that maybe someone would have tagged something about Jade, lovely Jade, with Jade West. So he types in Jade West in the little tag box and then hits enter.

And then he screams.

The first picture that comes up is one of Jade and him kissing, and he wonders who took it. It could have been Tori, but then again, he doesn't think Tori knows about Tumblr. With a frown, he keeps scrolling. There are fanfictions about Jade (what?), posts saying that Jade is secretly in love with Tori and is just denying her feelings, and of course gif sets, involving Jade and Beck, Jade and Tori, Jade and Cat… the more Beck scrolls, the more a feeling grows in the pit of his stomach, and he just wants to throw up.

"You've gotta be kidding me," he says to himself as he reads over a post, detailing all the proof of Jade and Tori's love. "Please just…"

He clicks on the blog, wincing at the URL – torijade5eva, seriously – and then glances at the posts warily. There are pictures of Jade and Tori, gifs (one of Jade feeling up Tori, when did that happen?), and of course, the horrible fanfictions. He only gets halfway through one before deciding it's far too detailed and way too creepy.

So he clicks on the little ask box and leaves an anon message, saying "sorry to be the one to break it to you, but tori and jade arent actually in love." Because seriously, someone has to be the one to set these freaks straight.

Then he goes back to the Jade West tag, because despite it all he's still a bit curious. And then he sees the post – so when is Beck gonna find out about Andre's crush on Jade?



Andre's crush on Jade? No, he tells himself, that's ludicrous. But the post goes on to talk about how 365 Days had originally been for Jade, not his dog (Beck had thought that was a bit odd, though he hadn't said anything), and how Beck should find out and get all jealous. Well, at least the original post author is getting what they want, he thinks, because he's pretty sure that his blood pressure is rocketing high above normal at this point.

He keeps going, lingering at the beautiful pictures of Jade (where the heck do they get this stuff?) and trying to ignore the random weirdos who are obsessed with Jade getting with Tori or Cat or whoever. In one particular horrible Jade/Andre story, Beck ends up with Tori, and it infuriates him to the point that he goes to the person's ask and says 'I (delete) beck isnt interested in tori like that. I (delete) beck is still in love with jade. Sorry.'

Because it's true. Despite his lame attempt at kissing her (mistake, mistake, mistake), he has zero interest in Tori, really. It was a mistake, an attempt at getting over Jade, and he can't imagine trying to explain it to these people, considering the fact that he can hardly explain it to himself.

Then one particular post catches his attention. It's headlined with the words "I hate Beck Oliver", and then it goes on to detail all of the mistakes that Beck has made. And okay, so he's not perfect, but is that any reason to hate him?

He bites his lip, forces himself to keep going, because despite all these rabid Jade fangirls that hate him, it's still kind of interesting. Also, Jade looks pretty in practically every photo that these people have published, and so he saves a few of them, just because.

His favorites, though, are the blogs that post about him and Jade, just because they make some pretty good points and also post the best pictures. To encourage them, he sends a little bit of love on anonymous, just because he figures it's the right thing to do.

And then he spends the rest of the night reading 'Bade' (Beck and Jade, okay) fanfiction and taking notes on what he could do to get Jade back.

Plus he researches the best ways to kill Andre, oh, and possibly Tori. Because from what people say, Tori's like, totes in love with Jade or whatever.

Yep, Beck Oliver here, ladies and gentlemen. Self-proclaimed 'Bade shipper' or whatever. (He doesn't get why it's called a 'shipper'. It's not like he's a Fed-Ex truck or anything. Can't they just say relationshipper or something like that?)

Before he goes to bed, he decides to check his tag. Everything there is overwhelming, but people, for the most part, either seem to want him with Tori, Jade, or Cat (and some say Robbie, but he ignores that). Either way, it's not the insane amount of people that they want with Jade, and Beck's starting to feel oddly jealous. After all, he's never considered the possibility that Jade could want anyone but him, and now – now he's seen that everyone loves Jade, that there would be plenty of people willing to get with her if she gave them the chance.

And that bothers him more than he'd like to admit.

So he exacts his revenge on the 'Jori' and 'Bori' and 'Jandre' or whatever shippers by uploading a pic of him and Jade and tagging it as all of the rival ships, along with Bade, of course. Then he cackles evilly and turns off his computer, still plotting how he's going to confront Andre tomorrow.


Once he gets to school the next day, he spots Jade sitting alone at a table and decides that it's the perfect opportunity to confront her. So he slides in beside her. "Jade, you know that half of Tumblr thinks that Tori's in love with you. And, like, vice versa."

"Kay," is Jade's response. She seems more interested in the Nutella sandwich in front of her.

"Do you even care?" Beck asks sharply. "Wait a second, are you guys secretly in love?"

"Ew." Jade crinkles up her nose. "No. Of course not."

"Then… why aren't you upset about this?" Beck inquires carefully. Five months ago, Jade would've gone off at this bit of information. Now she's just analyzing her sandwich, like it doesn't even matter. He wonders absently when his ex-girlfriend had changed so much.

"Because it's obviously not true, and anyway I don't even know what Tumblr is. Probably it's just a bunch of losers." Jade just glances up at him. "Why are you so worked up anyway?"

"Andre's in love with you," Beck manages to blurt out.

Jade just stares at him. Then she snorts. "Beck, please don't tell me you believe this chiz. This is just stuff that people make up because they're like, sick in the head or something. Andre's not in love with me, and I'm hardly 'secretly in love' with Vega."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." Beck considers this for a moment. "So you're saying that you would be opposed to me planting a stink bomb in Andre's locker?"

"Nah, I wouldn't be opposed, no matter the circumstances," Jade informed him with a small smile. "But I really don't get why you're all worked up about this."

"Because you were my girlfriend when Andre was apparently all 'in love with you' or whatever," Beck declares. "Remember that song 365 Days? Everyone thinks that he wrote that song for you."

Jade blinks, then shakes her head, laughing softly. "Some people. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

He joins her in laughter, though he's starting to think that it might not be so ludicrous, especially when Jade is sitting there looking as gorgeous as she is now. He can definitely see how Andre could be in love with Jade. And besides, the whole dog thing was a bit insane. (He'd originally thought that the song was for Tori, considering the fact that Andre and Tori pretty much act like a couple half of the time, but maybe he was wrong. According to Tumblr, he was wrong about pretty much everything.)

Jade jumps up suddenly, grabbing her trash. "Have fun destroying Andre. See you later, Oliver." There's something in her gaze, though, something that tells him that she can see right through him, and he tries not to think about the fact that he'd read about that gaze in fics last night.


The first time he sees Andre is at lunch. Andre had apparently been taking his grandma to the doctor and so had missed half of the school day (likely excuse, Beck thinks, maybe he and Jade were making out in a janitor's closet). As soon as Andre walks up, though, Beck's gaze hardens, but everyone else just looks bewildered. Thankfully, Jade hasn't arrived yet.

"What do you think you're doing, man?" Beck demands, glaring at Andre.

"Sittin' down at my seat and eating my pizza?" Andre yelps, looking bewildered. "They got pineapple now, so I bought four pieces. Did you want one?"

"No, I don't want your pizza," Beck retorts. "Were you or were you not in love with Jade?"

Andre drops his pizza. "What? How did you know that?" His gaze immediately goes to Tori. "Tori, I told you not to tell anyone!"

Who's the gullible one now, Jade? He thinks, then he turns back to Andre, because Andre's pretty much confirmed that yes, he is/was in love with Jade West while Jade was dating Beck. Tori speaks up, her voice choked a little bit – though with laughter or fear, he has no clue. "I didn't tell anyone!"

"Someone posted about it online," Beck says, his voice dangerously low. "What do you think you're playing at? Maybe Jade and I aren't together now, but we were then, and – seriously, I thought you were my friend." His voice is starting to crack now, so he stops talking.

"I am your friend, dude," Andre tells him quietly. "It's just, seeing Jade like that – all innocent and pretty when she sings – it kinda makes you fall in love with her."

"I know," Beck says under his breath. "Believe me, I know." Because he's seen that side of Jade, heck, he's seen all the sides of Jade, and he knows how easy it is to fall for her.

"Wait a second," Tori jumps in. "Jade has a lovable side?" Her voice is half teasing, half serious, but it causes him to remember that he's not exactly pleased with Tori either.

"Are you secretly in love with Jade?" he demands, trying to keep himself from laughing at how weird it's starting to sound. The look on Tori's face shows that she finds it equally as weird, but then Tori bursts into laughter and everyone else at the table joins in. Like this is freaking amusing instead of scarring and causing Beck insane amounts of completely irrational jealousy.

"Um, let me think about that," Tori replies brightly, trying to keep herself from laughing again. "No."

"Well," is all Beck can manage. "On this website, it said that all of you guys were in love with Jade. Cat? Robbie? Have you got anything to say for yourself?"

"Ew, no," Robbie replies, looking scarred at the very idea, at the same time Cat says, "Was the website Tumblr? Because I go on there, like, all the time! My url is beckjadeotp, if you wanna see! I'm such a big Bade shipper! Did you see my stories?"

"You're kidding," Beck says, burying his face in his arms. And of course, Jade West picks that exact moment to walk up, a smirk spreading over her face.

"Is something going on here?" Jade inquires, raising an eyebrow.

"We're all in love with you," Andre announces, giving her a smug grin. "Even Robbie."

"I am not!" Robbie protests.

"You and Beck should get married and move into a magic sugar rainbow castle," Cat says in an incredibly serious tone.

Beck just groans as Jade sits down beside him. She shrugs. "I told you not to confront them about this."

"Andre was in love with you, though," he insists, propping his head up with one hand.

Jade just rolls her eyes in response. "I still don't get why you care so much. I mean, it's not like I love him back or anything," Jade informs him, then seems to remember that Andre's still sitting there. "No offense, Andre. You're not my type."

Throwing up his hands, Andre tells her quickly, "None taken."

"You've got a type?" Beck inquires, his eyes wide. This, he hadn't counted on at all. Was Jade in love with some other guy now? Were she and Tori really secretly in love?

Jade proceeds to lean in real close, so that her face is directly in front of his. There's something unnerving about their sudden close proximity, but Beck can't say he doesn't enjoy it. "Yeah," she whispers at last, gazing into his eyes. "I've got a type. Figure it out, Oliver."

Then she pulls back and digs into her lunch, while Beck's head is spinning like a tornado or something. Tori laughs and quietly mutters something about "so oblivious", while Cat is typing away on her phone, probably formulating her next 'Bade fic' or something.

Beck just buries his head in his arms and decides that he's going to have to do some more stalking when he gets home, because he seriously needs to figure out a plan to get Jade back… and away from all of these other people.


"Beck, why are you calling me? It's four AM. Seriously. Go sleep or something, idiot."

"A… are you secretly dating Ryder Daniels?"

"…you can't be serious right now."

"Is that a yes?"

"That's a heck no. Now get off that stupid website and go to sleep."

"Okay, fine. But…"

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Maybe."



"You know, Jade, I ship Bade, like, a lot."

"I ship Beck working to get Jade back."

"So if I asked you out, would you say yes?"

"I'd say maybe. Which is basically maybe yes if you work at it. Now go to sleep. We can talk about – it, this, tomorrow."

"Fine. Good night."


"Love you."


A/N: OKAY SORRY FOR THE DELUSIONAL BADE IN THIS but yes in my headcanon Beck has a boring car-centric Tumblr and then I thought 'WHAT IF BECK FOUND OUT ABOUT SHIPPING' and this just kinda happened. I feel like this is something Beck does a lot, stalk Jade. (And also if you couldn't tell, Jade already knew about shipping LOL). Also I blame Laura b/c she encouraged this insanity.

Also jealous!Beck because yes.

This isn't mean to offend anyone, especially the Jori shippers, but idk, I feel like Jade and Tori would find the concept of Jori hilarious xD Anyway, you know the drill, read and review.

Update: The URLs in this fic really exist. Crying.