POST SCRASH SESSION
CHAPTER 5: ESCAPING THE RED MILES (GEDDIT BECAUSE ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN HAS A RED INTERFACE)
Hi I am Janet Roberts again an I can continue the story from here.
I woke up when my name was said in some conversation between CC and AG and then I read it (READ CHAPTER 4 DOPES) and I was given inlet on Aranna Sorket and Jack London and some CC furl that I don't care about so anyway I dint care and tried to go outside bu I forgot I was perm ago underdone. So I looked outside the window and saw red tentacle things descend from the sky. It was... THE RED MILES!
With The Red Miles I knew the apocryphal was coming so I did something to Jack London again.
GG: Answer me!
GG: Its the Red Miles and I need to escape them!
GT: TT: Wait for Dick Stiller outside, Janet.
And then... A DELIRIOUS TIME CAR CRASHED THROUGH MY WALL! "Hi Janet I'm Dick Stiller with a change of planes. We're no longer playing Sburb Alpha so I got the time car which I and Roxa used to escape to here."
"Pick up your stuff and go. We're going to... THE SEVENTY FORTH HUNGER GAMES!"
The Hunger Games was a thing from when Curiosity Snow was the leader of Critics United and he would pick up 24 people from across the year and have then fight to death and Marrissa Roberts was in the 74th Games in particular so I o-mouthed that I was going to see my ancestor. "OMG OF COURSE DICK!" I said and picked up my books like Portal 2: The Stupidest Seek-will of All Time by Principal Business Man and Problem Sleuth 3 by Andrew Hussite and of course Pony Pals: Detective Pony by Dick Stiller and went into the car. We took off and I saw my hose in a water apocalypse for the last time.
Then FLASH BOOM BANG I was somewhere else!
JACK LONDON'S PROV
I was in my hell murder island don my business and talking to Janet when suddenly something appeared. It was... CTHULHU! Cthulhu snapped one of its tentacles and my house fell over bu I was in the jungle so I was okay. I climbed up to where my house was and saw that the Red Miles were coming and one of them hit Cthulhu but the Red Mile was small and Cthulhu was big and he was only hurt a little. Then FLASH BOOM BANG there was a delirious time machine and someone stepped out of it it was... JANET AND DICK! "Hi Jack this is Janet Roberts and Dick Stiller we're going to... THE SEVENTY FORTH HUNGER GAMES!" Bu then Janet said "Bu Jack has no stuff?" But Janet and Dick took me to the time car and we drove to... THE PAST BEFORE CTHULHU WAS THERE!
I picked up my stuff like all my DVDs of all the movies in existence and we drove off to mos ewer else.
ROXA LAVIGNE'S PROV
I was in my carapace colony don my business and talking to Dick Stiller s GPS Navigation when something appeared. It was... THE RED ROBOTIC MONSTER WITH A CRITICS UNITED LOGO! It started killing all the carapaces in my house so I typed.
TG: a red robotic monster with a critics unite logo kills all the carapaces in my town
TT: Wait for Dick Stiller outside, Roxa.
TG: bu your dick
TT: No, I'm not.
But then outside FLASH BOOM BANG someone appeared it was the delirious car! It shot the red robotic monster so the red robotic monster spat red robot blood and then a Red Mile hit the red robotic monster so it died and the car drove near me and someone stepped out. It was... JACK, JANET AND DICK! "Hi Roxa this is Jack London Janet Roberts and Dick Stiller we're going to... THE SEVENTY FORTH HUNGER GAMES!" Bu before I cold step in the car a Red Mile hit me and I died.
JANET ROBERTS'S PROV
With Roxa dead we cold not go to the Hunger Games. Everyone was so crying over this and Dick corpse smooched Roxa since they are so lovers but then he sat in the car and said. "Roxas Desuran dream self is still alive." Everyone happied again and we picked up Roxas dead body and Dick Stiller installed Sburb Alpha in his car. We entered... THE LAND OF CRYPTS AND HELIUM!
Then Dick drove his car to Desura. There another set of Red Miles was launched but Dick turned time again and the Red Miles were no longer there. We drove to Dream Roxa's room and said "Hi Roxa this is Jack London Janet Roberts and Dick Stiller we're going to... THE SEVENTY FORTH HUNGER GAMES!" Then we picked up Dream Roxa and futured again when there was The Reckoning and a bunch of meteors attacked Skaia. We drove through the meteors and into one defense portal that led to God knows where on Earth but then the GPS said.
TT: Dudes, I'll take care of everything.
TT: Listen to some music instead.
And he put on Unite Synchronization from Homestuck Vol. 8 and we rocked so hard on our way to The Hunger Games.
It turned out that without any time snapping we were right where we needed at the score announcement bu that was okay since we ran out of uranium anyway. Anyway so everything was fine and Roxa was Desuran and we listened to the boron guys.
CATO: MEOW (LOL BECOS HE'S A CAT)
SWEAR GUY: 7
SKEP: HALF (LOL BECAUSE OF HER HALF WORLD'S BLOG)
Roxa hugely o-mouthed becks Skep was shortening for Skeptical Kitty Lavigne who was her sister but then the scores went on.
PONY STRONGBRUSH1: 0
PEETA PEETA SANDWICH EATER: 12
REMOLAY: 0 (MORE LICK REMOLAME LOL)
PIMPROSE EVERGREEN: 20
And then finally...
MARRISSA ROBERTS: 100
"Hey isn't Marrissa your ancestor Janet?" Dick Said.
"I know Dick." Janet swooned over the hot and pretty of her ancestor BU NOT IN THAT WAY PERVERTS
Seriously Written Note: IDE/Theory: Cato will become GCat. Yes, Cato from The Hunger Games, who isn't a cat but a Career Tri-Boot instead, will become an actual cat that fucks up everything for Janet, Jack, Roxa and Dick.
Yeah, I'm kind of sorry I didn't expand on the Belorussian trolls but THE MARRISSA GAMES started updating again so here, have this, Insane Guy of DOOM. See you on AO3.