TITLE: To Be His
AUTHOR: crazyevildru
TIMELINE: mid season 5, with slight timeline change
POV: Eric/Sookie
SUMMARY: Eric has some loose ends to tie before returning to the Authority after Russell is captured. A year later, he returns to Sookie's house to explain what's happened with vampire power. includes some modifications to season 5
DISCLAIMER: I sadly do not own the characters, else there would be way more of Eric's body and many more sex scenes. True Blood belongs to Alan Ball and the characters belong to Charlaine Harris.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have not read the books. This is based solely on my interpretation of the True Blood characters, though I've had people telling me about the books, I understand there are different historical changes as to maker's and some slight personality changes. So this is a True Blood fanfic.

Chapter 1

Sookie, You. Are. Mine.

I am asking you to be mine.

Are you mine?

Would you like to be mine?

It breaks my heart just thinking about it and why can't I think of anything else? That was months ago that he stood in my house, or his house, and asked me that with those sad eyes and I said "not really" but I knew it was a lie. I knew it was a lie even before then and it wasn't because of his blood that flows in my veins either. It was just an easier lie to tell.

I sigh and flip the channel again. With my landlord, and I use that term loosely, having had cable installed, you'd think I'd be able to find something to watch. I glance at the clock and sigh. Eleven is too early to go to bed but with Tara- and Lafayette not talking to me, there isn't much to do. Maybe I should just go to the bar and see if Sam needs more help but they weren't too happy with me either. It was Lafayette's idea, but it's everyone hate Sookie week, apparently.

There's a knock at the door and I wonder who the hell it could be since everyone who I'd care to see or who would stop by now hates my guts. I stand up and straighten out my pajama bottoms as I pad over to the door and I'm downright shocked.

"Eric," I say surprised. First off, he's had no reason to talk to me, which makes sense since I basically told them to fuck off because I was too scared to actually choose. Secondly, why would he knock and not just let himself in? "Hi. I- you're just about the last person I expected to knock on my door, especially since you have a key."

"Well technically, I'd be knocking on my door. And the last time I came in, I found you puking on a werewolf. I thought it best to knock."

"Yeah… Sookie and massive amounts of alcohol don't mix," I sigh as I step aside to let him in. "Does this- I mean, you're back so everything is okay? Crisis averted?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Which is why I'm here." He pulls out an envelope from his jacket pocket and I follow him to the kitchen. "It's your deed. Or the deed, to the house."

"The deed?" I ask, confused. I'm not used to him acting so… non-predatory toward me, even with the amnesia he was drawn to me, like a magnet, as I to him.

Would you like to be mine?

Lies. All lies, Sookie. I did. I do. I just- am terrified of what that means, what it would mean, what I would be giving up, what I would become, how it would end…

"Yes. All I need is your signature. I already had it notarized."

"Don't I have to be present to have a notary stamp it?" I wonder and he just smiles that cocky smile. Of course I wouldn't because Eric Northman probably either glamoured someone into stamping it or has a notary on staff that does it because he orders him to. "Right. Fine. But- why?"

"Doesn't matter. Sign it and it's yours," he says, almost as if he's dismissing me and it hurts. It hurts when everything inside me is screaming at me to just say it: I'm yours.


"You wanted us out, Sookie," he snaps. "You wanted us out. You want to be normal. So sign it," he growls as his fangs come out. He leaves them out, staring at me with ice blue eyes. I can feel his hurt, his fear… what does Eric Northman have to fear? And why can I be feeling it as clearly as I hear someone's thoughts?

Things are going to get much worse before they get better. I know this. I've lived too long to not understand that, which is why she needs her house back. Just this last little bit of business and then my ties in Louisiana will be done. My Pamela is free now and won't be as destroyed as I was and am over Godric when I die. Now it's time to do the same for Sookie.

Bill and I are stake to the chest free but we're to report back to the Authority by morning. I pray we'll finally be splattered with Russell's blood but there's no guarantees his death bed will Eric Northman free.

I've come to understand quite a few things in my thousand years and more so in the last couple years. I understand Godric was ready to go meet true death. But I am not. If I don't have a choice, I don't, but if there's any amount of ass-kissing or bartering I can do, I'll do it to save myself. I fear true death more than I feared my human one.

"Well I'm never gonna be normal, am I?" she sighs as she takes the paper. "Never been normal. Hell, I can't even- I've never even been on a date! Unless you count Bill's proposal and kidnapping as one."

"Bill proposed?" I ask quickly, as if I didn't see the ring on her finger, as if I didn't laugh at his humanity, as if I don't laugh at my own.

"Yes, misguided, I guess, but yes; you knew that. Seems so long ago, but- not one real date because I was a freak and no one wanted to ask me out in school, except cretins whose thoughts would probably make even you blush," she sighs. "I'll never be normal. I'll never- at this rate I won't even make it to thirty."

"Yes you will," I lie.

"Liar," she says as she turns to me and the pink pajama pants with kittens on them don't make this conversation any less serious. "I've heard it from you, from Pam, fr-"

"Pam?" I ask, confused about her point in all this. "Look, you sign that and the house is yours. It's all paid off and I've got a crew scheduled to start next week installing central air for you. Everything else is all new, roof, siding, appliances. Cable and electric are taken care of as well. Insurance is too, number's on a card in there and-"

"What is this, Eric?" she asks softly and I just want to take her in my arms and never let go, bring her into my world so I won't have to walk away. I've never felt that, ever. A thousand years and I've never- never been in love. I've been in lust and I've been obsessed, and that's how it started, but now? It's more. And it can never be.

"It's goodbye," I say honestly.

Her eyes fill with tears, threatening to fall as she stares at me.

"Sign it, Sookie," I tell her. "Then it's yours again and you can invite whoever you want inside." That kills me too, knowing she'll have other lovers. Other men will be inside what's mine and it's a good thing I don't plan to come back here because I would eviscerate every single one. No matter what she says or thinks or wants, she is mine. She gave me her blood and took mine. We are bonded, forever.

One day down the road, if I'm still on this planet, I'll be minding my business, doing my thing and I'll feel a twinge, a pain, a loss. Godric told me about when a human pet dies. He said it hurts for a while, like a stab in your gut, but lessens with time as everything does and eventually your blood doesn't crave their presence, doesn't mourn their absence.

"Eric," she says, her emotions catching in her throat. "I-"

I step closer to her and her scent overwhelms me, sunshine and beauty and light, everything good and magical in a pretty blonde bottle that I've never been able to declare as mine. I touch her face softly and kiss her forehead. "Has to be this way, Sookie," I whisper. "It's the only way this goes."

"I know," she sobs quietly. "I've seen enough movies to know. It just… sucks."

"Yes, we do," I say, trying to get her to smile. "But only in the best ways." I hug her gently and step back. "I want you to have your house back. I bought it for you, so you'd have it when you returned."

"Then why were you such a jerk before?" she asks as she wipes her eyes. "Because now you've gotten what you want."

"Never," I say grab her arm to make her look at me. "I said I wanted everything. I didn't get what I want, but the time for that has gone now. Please… sign it."

She nods and I hand her a pen and watch as she writes her name through her soft tears that still fall and as soon as she's done, I'm pulled out the door by forces I can't fight.

"Eric!" she screams as she runs after me and I stand in front of the open door. "Just like that?" she asks, wiping her eyes again.

"Just like that. Presto-chango. Listen… the room downstairs, it's also a panic room. Fireproof, waterproof, bomb proof. It's solid steel all around, a few feet deep. Should be basically impenetrable. There's a button under the bottom step that you'd push to seal it shut."

I nod as I listen and even now he's protecting me, taking care of me.

"So-" I start to say but he interrupts me. "Sookie Stackhouse, it has been an absolute pleasure."

I watch as he turns and starts to walk down the steps.

"I wanted to be," I say quickly, not wanting him to leave. My bones feel like they're aching. My heart is breaking into a million pieces because I know he really means it: this is goodbye. This is the last time I'll see Eric Northman. I need him to know. "Yours," I clarify.

He turns back and looks at me and says, "I know."

"I was scared," I tell him.

"I know," he nods and like the wind, he's gone.

I wanted to be his. Now it's too late.




AN: If you read this chapter and saw no markings that separated POV switches between Sookie and Eric, please do not message me and tell me I'm a sloppy writer. There are POV markers that look like this: ~*~*~*~. If you didn't see any squiggles and starts to separate POVs, it could be your browser. Some people have reported that smart phones don't show it, but 95% of my readers haven't reported any issue. If you can't see the POV markers, please private message me OR email me and I'd be happy to email you the fic. OR you can friend me on live journal.

My email is crazyevildru at yahoo dot com