A/N: Hello again my fellow freaks. Yes, it's once again time for another journey into the realm of extreme oddity. This installment of weirdness, however, will contain a hint of realism intertwined with a plot centered on our favorite bookworm and a revelation that will change her relationship with Ron and Harry forever. My goal with this story was to take a bit of freakishness and stick it in the middle of a plot, however weak it may be, while having the characters stick relatively close to their canon personalities. I hope at least some of you enjoy the read, the rest of you can go jump in a lake :P

Warning: As much as I hate to give things away before the story starts, I have to warn people about the hermaphrodite aspect of this little ficlet. If you don't know what a hermaphrodite is, then look it up. Then if that doesn't turn you away, don't say I didn't warn you!

((((ATTR))))

Harry had been strolling down the corridor, not really paying attention to his surroundings as he headed back to the Gryffindor common room to see if he could talk a few people into a pick-up Quidditch match. Ahead of him, he suddenly heard a familiar voice crying incoherently as a classroom door swung open harshly, slamming against the wall.

"Ron?" he called, recognizing the person that emerged from the doorway.

His best mate had stalked out of the room obviously having been the one that had shoved the door open. Ron met his eyes for only an instant before his complexion seemed to turn green. Without a word, he moved past Harry and continued on down the empty corridor.

Thoroughly confused, Harry jogged up to the open door to see who it was that Ron had run out on.

"Hermione?"

His bushy haired best friend looked up and met his eyes in fright before turning her face away.

"Not now, Harry. Please."

Harry stubbornly ignored her request and knelt next to her on the floor after shutting the door behind him, putting a gentle arm over her shoulder. "What happened?"

The sobbing witch hesitated for the longest moment before answering. "He left me."

"What!" Harry couldn't believe it. They'd been going out for over a year now. "Why?"

Another long hesitation, "I...I can't tell you...I don't want to lose you too."

Her statement threw him for a loop. What could she have possibly said to Ron that would make her think that he'd walk out on her too?

"Nothing in this world would ever make me abandon you like that, 'Mione. You've been there for me for as long as I can remember, and I'd be a horrible friend if I wasn't willing to do the same thing for you." A small tingling sensation ran through his chest as the words came out. He'd been working so hard on pushing back the more-than-friendly thoughts that he'd been having toward her ever since she and Ron had started dating, but unfortunately, it eventually proved to be an impossible task as he was forced to watch his best female friend blossom into her role as Ron's girlfriend.

Silently observing their relationship from the sidelines, his bookworm friend's more feminine traits began to slowly show themselves over the course of their developing partnership and it eventually got to the point where he had to admit to himself that he could no longer view her as that sister-like figure he'd seen in her before. She had become far too attractive in his mind to effectively maintain that kind of platonic status.

Not to mention the fact that the types of things she'd been doing for him in his dreams lately were definitely NOT things that one would do with their 'sister'.

Hermione stood up from the floor and began pacing on the other side of the room. "I...I'm not sure if I can. I'm not sure if I even want to! I thought Ron would be able to handle it after we'd been together this long, but...obviously I was wrong! I don't want to lose our friendship Harry. I don't think I could risk it."

Harry got up in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders, waiting until her head lifted up so that they could look each other in the eye. "I'll swear an oath if you think it'll help. Just say the word and it's as good as done."

She shook her head and pulled out of his grasp, turning to sit on a bench on the other side of the room. "Just promise me, Harry, promise that you won't leave..."

Harry knelt in front of her, intertwining his right hand in her left. "I promise...I swear on my parent's graves...I would never do that to you."

After what seemed like hours, his Muggle-born friend seemed to have gathered enough courage to finally speak. She motioned for him to sit next to her on the bench as she fidgeted nervously for another few minutes.

"I...I'm not even sure how...no one else knows this...besides my parents...and now Ron."

"Just take your time, I'm not going anywhere."

After a few more moments of internal debate, she began to fidget once more as the words slowly came, "I...I'm a...a..."

"Whatever it is, Hermione, it doesn't matter. You can tell me."

"I'm a...Hermaphrodite."

Harry's mind went blank. He was completely unfamiliar with the term, "a what?"

"A Hermaphrodite."

"I...I'm sorry, I have no idea what that means."

Hermione sighed, feeling even more humiliated at having to explain things in more detail. "It means that I was born with both female and male parts."

"Female...and male...both? Is that even possible?"

"Apparently," she deadpanned.

"So, that's why Ron...?"

She nodded in response, not trusting her voice to keep from trembling.

"But if he truly liked you...I mean...you have...uh...female parts too, right? Wouldn't he still be able to...?" Harry stumbled through his words, not sure of what to say or do, his mind still trying to wrap itself around the concept.

"It's not only that," she continued.

Harry waited for her to elaborate as he continued to process this new information.

"I'm...uh...bigger...than him. Down there...I mean."

Harry's eyebrows rose up under his messy fringe. He had seen Ron once or twice in the showers after practice, and compared to the rest of the guys that had been on the team throughout the years, Ron seemed to be quite a few centimeters above average. And if Ron was considered to be above the average, that would make Hermione...quite large. Though probably nowhere near...

"Well?" His friend pleaded. He flinched at the sudden question, not realizing how long he'd been silent.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to say anything?" He could see the mixture of fear and nervousness in her eyes, along with a clear frustration at his lack of response.

"I'm not sure what to say. It's definitely a surprise..."

"I knew it!" She turned and began to run for the door before Harry grabbed her by the arm to pull her back.

"I said it was a surprise, Hermione. I didn't say I hated you and I certainly didn't say that I don't want to be your friend anymore." His mind was racing. How would this affect their relationship? How would it affect the feelings that he'd developed toward her this past year?

"You're not...repulsed?"

"I don't see why I should be. No matter what you've got downstairs, you're still the same bushy-haired know-it-all that I met on the Express a few years back."

Hermione looked up at him in disbelief. Could it be possible? She had known Harry to be one of the most selfless and non-judgmental people she'd ever known, but this? She couldn't have dreamed up a better outcome if she tried. She lunged forward and wrapped him in the tightest hug she could muster as tears of relief slid down her cheek.

While this was happening, Harry's mind was racing a kilometer a minute. He'd found out something that he'd never thought possible about the girl he'd been crushing on, and somehow it didn't seem to lessen his feelings for her one bit. He'd never once had anything close to a homosexual thought in his life, especially after finding out about the Creevy brothers, but for some reason, the thought of Hermione sporting a rock-hard...erection...it just didn't seem to be as gross as he thought it would be. She was still a girl...she just had...a little extra. And no matter what you called it, a penis on a girl would never equal out to the same embodiment of testosterone that it represented when it was on a guy. In fact...he found himself wondering just how different hers would feel when it was no doubt surrounded by the infinitely softer skin that girls always seemed to have.

Hermione pulled out of the hug and looked up into his eyes with muted joy. "I can't tell you how much this means to me."

He couldn't help it as he reached up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her left ear. "Maybe it's due to my lack of experience with the outside world in general, but I really can't see why this affected Ron so much. I mean...it's not like you're secretly a guy or anything. You're still firmly implanted at the top of my list as far as female friends go. The only difference now is that there's just...more of you...than there was before."

Hermione wiped away another tear of happiness as her sniffles came under control. "I think the, uh...size difference was one of the biggest factors for him running off like that."

Harry couldn't help the chuckle that came. "I've seen him in the locker rooms a couple times. You must be pretty big if he was feeling that put out about it."

"I don't have much else to compare it to, since Ron's is the only other one I've ever seen in person, but yes, I'm...a little bigger."

They stared at each other for a few minutes, realizing how awkward the conversation had gotten. Hermione's self-doubt slowly began to return.

"That doesn't...bother you? Does it?" She asked tentatively.

"What?"

"That I'm...bigger...than Ron. I know he's above average for a male his age, but I'm...noticeably larger. From what I've read, that kind of thing can be detrimental to a man's ego. I guess that's probably why Ron ran off so fast like that. I just don't want things between you and me to be...weird...because of it."

Harry answered without hesitation. "Doesn't bother me at all, why?"

"You just seemed to get a little pensive there a second ago...after I mentioned it."

"Oh...no that's because I was thinking of something else."

"So...you don't mind that I'm, uh...bigger...than you?"

Harry lifted one of his eyebrows. "Who said you were bigger than me?"

Hermione took on the expression that she usually got when she knew something that someone else didn't. "Come on, Harry, I know I'm in the top 3% in the world as far as size goes. Even Ron was far enough above average to have a 70% chance of being bigger than you. The odds that you could be bigger than me, let alone Ron, are quite honestly not that good."

Harry stood there, listening, without giving any hint of emotion. When she finished, he clasped his hands behind his back and began to pace the room. "Who am I, Hermione?"

She looked up at him, confused for a moment. "Harry, of course."

"Harry who?"

"...Harry Potter."

"Harry Potter, the..."

"Harry Potter, the...Boy-who-lived?"

"Right, so given that I'm the Boy-Who-Lived, the Chosen One, the only living being to have ever survived the Killing Curse, not to mention all the times that I've beaten the odds, which were always stacked against me, every single year that I've attended Hogwarts, how willing would you be to bet against me...on anything?"

Hermione's eyes went wide at Harry's implication. "So...that means..."

"Yes, my ego is still fully intact. Though, honestly, it wouldn't matter to me either way."

Harry noticed his best friend's gaze immediately trail down to his crotch for a moment before she looked back up at his face with a look of disbelief. "You're having me on."

Harry rolled his eyes, "what reason would I have to lie?"

"It just doesn't make any sense. I've been around you almost constantly over the past 5 years and I never once noticed..."

Her voice trailed off as her face went bright red. "Just how many times over the years have you actually had the opportunity TO notice? We wear robes all the time and I've had too much on my plate to worry about...that kind of stuff."

She continued to stare into his eyes, likely looking for any kind of deception, but in finding none, she folded her arms across her chest and straightened her posture defiantly. "Okay, then. Prove it."

Harry raised a single eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

"That you're bigger than me. Put your money where your mouth is."

His body had quickly begun to shiver with excitement at the direction the conversation was headed. Well, if she was going to go bold like that, then why shouldn't he? "Only if you show too then, it's only fair, after all."

She seemed to hesitate for a moment before her hands went up to unbutton her robe, "fine."

Another shiver went up his spine. He couldn't believe this was happening. "Okay then." He began to remove his robe too, after casting a locking charm at the deserted room's door.

Hermione only had to remove her robe, since she was wearing a skirt, but Harry, needing to get down to his boxers, had to remove his pants and shoes too, which he began to do so.

"Alright then, go." His half-naked friend prompted, waving a hand in his direction.

"You're undressed already, why don't you go first?" He said as he unbuckled his belt.

She rolled her eyes in response, "fine."

She then did something that Harry would have never imagined possible in his craziest and most imaginative dreams.

Hermione reached under her skirt at her left hip and grabbed for something that lay just under the fabric of her panties. With no small amount of effort, she pulled the appendage that had been wrapped partway around her tiny waist and let it fall forward into the open air. It flopped lightly against her inner left thigh before bouncing forward and swaying from side-to-side in all its glory as she held her skirt up to provide a full view.

"There. And I'm not even hard."

She looked over at him with a critical eye as Harry's own eyes were completely transfixed. His mouth had also opened slightly in surprise without him noticing. He wasn't sure exactly what he was expecting when this all started, but the beautifully-smooth girl-tool his best friend was sporting between her pale thighs was a sight to behold indeed. He'd seen many different versions of what a man's reproductive organ was supposed to look like back in the locker rooms at school and before and after each Quidditch game, but none of them had ever looked like the one being presented to him now.

Where a male's dick was often covered in thicker, zigzagging veins, and had something closer to the rougher skin that men were known for, hers looked to be almost completely smooth, with only a few pronounced veins rising off the surface here and there, and had a light skin-tone that matched the rest of her immaculate, feminine body.

The confident inflection she'd had in her voice when she issued the challenge seemed to escape her in a flash as Hermione suddenly became a bit more self-conscious under Harry's scrutiny. He recognized this immediately and proceeded to return the favor of undressing, in hopes of relieving her growing anxiety.

Once he was down to his boxers he stood up straight to look at his best friend once more. She still had an air of nervousness about her, but her eyes were transfixed near his midsection. Deciding that there was nothing else for it, he bent over and pulled his boxers down, stepping out of them as he stood back up to gauge her reaction. The gasp she let out was intensely satisfying, as her eyes grew impossibly wide.

"Well, there you go. And I'm not hard either." The intensely emotional conversation they'd just had, had kept his romantic and lustful thoughts at bay, but he could immediately feel that his softer state wouldn't be lasting much longer.

Hermione walked a couple steps closer, as if under some kind of hypnosis spell and Harry couldn't help but notice as her own appendage swayed from side to side from the movement. "Merlin," she whispered, seemingly to herself.

Harry couldn't help the snort that escaped at just how ridiculously impossible the scenario was. If anyone would have ever suggested that he'd be presented with a situation like this at any point in his lifetime, he'd have had them committed to the spell damage ward in St. Mungo's.

The snort seemed to break Hermione out of her trance, as she looked up at him in confusion. "What's so funny?"

"This whole situation...it's just a little...out there...don't you think?"

She took a few moments to think it over. "I have to admit, one of my biggest fears has always been what would happen if I were ever involved in a relationship serious enough to be able to tell my partner about this. But I'd never imagined it happening like this...especially not with my best friend."

Keeping mindful of how many steps forward their relationship had taken in the last few minutes, Harry thought it would be best to continue treating her like he'd done since they day they'd become friends. Other than the glaring fact that they were now standing half naked in front of each other, he didn't see any reason that they couldn't continue to share their thoughts, emotions and worries with each other. So, gathering up all the Gryffindor courage he could muster, he took a few tentative steps forward and knelt down slowly to the floor in front of her, making sure she understood that he wanted nothing more than a closer look.

Hermione hesitated as if she were about to step back, but held firm as she continued to play with the hem of her skirt.

Up close, it seemed to be even more beautiful than it was from afar. It was certainly an odd sight to look at; one that would have never entered into his mind as something that was physically possible before now, but with the feelings that he'd developed toward her over the last year, it seemed his glasses had developed a bit of rose coloring in them, because the sudden urge to reach out and touch it, maybe even...stroke it...was almost too strong to bear.

"It's...ugly...I know, but..."

Harry was brought out of his trance as he looked up into her worried eyes. "Ugly?"

"Well, it is. At least...I've always thought so."

Harry snorted again. "Not to sound too much like I'm batting for the other team Hermione, but frankly, you've got the most beautiful dick I've ever seen."

"What?" She gasped in disbelief.

"Seriously, I know you've seen Ron's at least, so you've got to know that what you got there," he pointed toward her appendage, which he noticed had seemed to have grown a bit, "is nowhere near as ugly as what I've seen in the locker room these past few years."

"R-Really?" The hope in her voice was unmistakable.

"No doubt in my mind whatsoever. I don't know how else to tell you this, but...it just looks so much smoother than anything I've seen before...so much more clean-looking, if that's the right word...like it truly belongs on a woman's body."

Hermione's knees nearly gave out. Her eyes misted up as she struggled to keep from lunging forward. Happy tears ran down her cheeks as a smile broke across her trembling lips. "Merlin, you have no idea what it means to hear someone say something like that to me."

He wasn't sure what was so significant about what he said, but there was only one way to find out. "Say something like what?"

"The part about this belonging on a woman's body," she gestured toward her growing member again, and Harry almost did a double-take, realizing that she was even bigger than before. "I'd never thought anyone would ever truly see me that way, and here you are, saying it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I've struggled all my life with my self-image, with my femininity, and you just...you just..." She couldn't hold back her emotions anymore. She opened her arms and leaned forward as Harry instinctively rose up to meet her embrace.

Their bodies came together as Hermione softly cried into his shoulder. But Harry's mind was immediately drawn elsewhere.

It was an odd sensation...to be hugging a girl that he'd known for almost seven years, knowing that the poking sensation he was feeling against his thigh was being caused by the growing erection of his female best friend's penis.

Hermione seemed to realize what was happening just after Harry did as she jumped back in surprise and turned her head to the side, trying to hide the conflicting emotions that were playing across her face. Harry caught on to the shame, the embarrassment and the fear. But he also saw glimpses of relief, lust and desire.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. I know that must have been uncomfortable for you."

"Honestly, I wasn't really that uncomfortable at all. You're the one that seems to feel the need to be separated."

She looked over at him with her eyebrows drawn together. "But I was just...poking you."

Gryffindor courage...Gryffindor courage... "So?"

"Y-you're really not bothered by it?"

Here goes nothing. "Well, since we seem to be at a point in our friendship where we're sharing our deepest secrets with each other, I think it's only fair that I share one of mine. It should help you to understand why I'm not as bothered as you think."

Hermione's eyes widened. "But you said you didn't bat for the other team?"

Harry laughed. "I don't. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

"But then..."

Harry stepped forward and softly wrapped his arms around her waist. He looked down into her eyes for a few moments before bringing their pelvises closer together, emphasizing the fact that he didn't mind that their cocks were practically rubbing against each other. "I like you, Hermione. Maybe even more than that, I'm not sure yet, but ever since you and Ron started dating, and I began to witness the emergence of your more feminine side, the side that took up the role of a girlfriend, I started to feel more for you than I ever had before. I began to have thoughts that were far beyond that of best friends, and it's killed me to realize that it took this long for me to notice. By the time I was able to pull my head out of my arse and realize how I truly felt, Ron had long since snatched you up."

Hermione's eyes were now flooded with tears, "Oh, Harry." She tightened her arms around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

"I know you might not feel that way about me yet, but I would love to have the opportunity to try and win you over, if that's alright with you, or course."

She looked back up into his eyes with a bright smile. "This conversation alone has opened my eyes to that very real possibility, Harry, and I'd like nothing more than to see where this path might lead us."

Gathering up another reservoir of courage, Harry reached down between them and wrapped his hand around the base of her now rock-hard erection. Hermione shivered in pleasure. "And yes, I know that this is part of the package - no pun intended - and I want you to know that I have no problem with it whatsoever."

"Oh, Merlin!" she gasped; as Harry felt her knees go momentarily weak.

"Did you like that?" He whispered into her ear as his own member was beginning to make its presence known. He was amazed at just how impossibly smooth the skin of her cock was as he began to slowly stoke it from base to tip.

"Gods, yes!"

Lost in her own world, Harry slowly sat Hermione down on the nearest desk as her eyes fluttered with pleasure. "You don't have balls, do you cum like guys do?" he whispered, as she thrust herself into his hands uncontrollably.

Hermione shook her head, still lost in the realm of previously unknown pleasures. "No...I still cum like a girl...but...I do urinate through it."

Harry didn't let the fact that his best-friend-turned-girlfriend could actually pee standing up, affect him. Because making her squirm with pleasure like this was far more interesting and important in his mind.

He had definitely never done, or felt anything like this before. Her cock was quite obviously just that: a cock, but it was so completely different from his, that it really didn't register as being the same. It was all Hermione, and that was the only thing that counted when all was said and done.

As her head rolled around in ecstasy, Harry caught her looking as his own swollen rod. The lust in her eyes was unmistakable, and he was only slightly amazed at how easily she grabbed her wand and conjured a bed while in the throes of such intense pleasure.

When the bed was secured, she grabbed the hand that he'd been stroking her with and pulled him onto the covers. "Lie back."

Not sure where she was going with this, all he could say was, "okay".

"I want to return the favor," she said huskily as she lay on the bed beside him but in the opposite direction.

"No complaints here."

Harry quickly caught on to what she was doing and reached out for her just as her dainty hand wrapped around his stiffened pole. Jolts of pleasure shot through both their bodies as they slowly began to stroke each other in earnest. For a long few minutes, they concentrated only on each other, as their bodies writhed around in the bed. But, as was normal for Harry, he just couldn't go any further without trying to pull off the extraordinary.

Clearing his head a bit from the fog of passion, he leaned over and began stroking her with his left hand instead, while his right hand switched to exploring the region between her legs.

"Holy shit!" Hermione gasped.

Harry chuckled. "Like that?"

"I'll hex your bollocks off if you even think about stopping!"

"I take it no one has ever done anything like this to you before?"

"Still...a virgin." She answered through heavy breaths.

"And you'll continue to be one, if this is all we're doing tonight. What I meant was, have you and Ron..."

She shook her head. "I helped him out, but I wasn't ready for myself...until tonight...then he ran out..."

"And no one before that?"

She shook her head again, "you?"

"It was just a bit of groping with Gin. But I learned how to do this while fooling around with Susan, the girl parts anyway. The guy part is from personal experience." He smirked as he tightened his grip for one long forceful stroke.

"Sweet Morgana! Remind me to...thank Susan...later."

"Of course."

It went on like this for a few more minutes, both of their breathing increasing in intensity as they brought each other closer to climax.

"I'm close, Harry!"

"Really?" he sounded surprised. It always took a lot longer with Susan.

"Penises aren't known for their lasting power, are they?"

"I guess not."

"Well mine's no diff... Oh God!"

Just then, Hermione's body shuddered as her muscles tensed with pleasure. Her tightened grip along with the sudden jerking motion sent Harry over the edge an instant later. They both rode the waves of orgasm as Harry shot his load straight up into the air, spraying them both in random places as Hermione had no control over where she was pointing him.

A few minutes later, their heavy breathing slowed enough to where Harry was able to turn himself so that their heads were on the same side of the bed. He lay next to her on his side and watched her contented face come down from the extreme high they'd just experienced.

"This might be an inappropriate time to say this, but I have to say, Ron is a right bloody idiot!"

Hermione laughed, but kept her eyes blissfully shut. She wanted to hold onto the happiness she was feeling for as long as possible. "Why's that?"

"What we just did was bloody amazing, that's why! The difference between you and Susan are like night and day!"

She cracked an eye open to glare over at him. "Do you think it wise to mention your ex-girlfriend's name while lying naked in bed with your current one?"

Harry had the grace to look shameful. "Sorry. I just wanted to give you a compliment. You just seemed to know exactly what you were doing, and while she was good, you were on a completely different level entirely."

Her glare continued, but it lessened noticeably.

Still feeling guilty, he continued, "I'll do my best not to bring up my past relationships in the future, but you know that we ended things on good terms and are still good friends, right? And that we still hang out every now and then?"

She sighed in response, as a pang of jealousy and...something else...shot through her system, at the mention of his ex-girlfriend. She knew she'd have to deal with Harry still being friends with her, but therein lays another complication that she wasn't sure she was ready to talk about yet, at least not so soon after taking their relationship to this new level. "I know, Harry...and I won't be mad if you choose to still hang out with her every once in a while...but I would still prefer that you didn't bring them up so soon after we've been intimate with each other."

"I can definitely do that. No problem." He noticed the flash of jealousy, mixed in with something else he couldn't quite identify, that played across her face before answering his question and decided to nip that train of thought in the bud as soon as possible.

"And thank you for the compliment. I guess having my own to practice on has its advantages."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

After a few moments of lying silently in each other's arms, Harry leaned in closer and placed a light kiss on her lips as he gazed steadily into her eyes. "I hope you know that there's no reason for you to feel jealous of anyone, Hermione. You mean more to me than any of the other woman in my life put together, and I'll be damned if I ever do anything on purpose to jeopardize where I hope this relationship will go, so in case you had any doubts floating around in that big, beautiful brain of yours, you have nothing to worry about where other women are concerned. And I would hope, after what we just did, that you could throw away any insecurities you might have about this," he reached down and wrapped his hand around her flagging member, "ever becoming a problem in our relationship either."

Hermione gasped at his touch and smiled through happy tears as she reached up to pull his head toward hers. She spent the next 45 minutes trying to show him how much she appreciated his sincere words.

Once again they found themselves cuddled together in each other's arms as their heartbeats steadily slowed to normal. Though they still hadn't taken their physical relationship to the point where they'd lose their virginity, they'd found plenty to do otherwise.

Hermione just couldn't comprehend just how unbelievingly amazing this day had turned out. True, she was disappointed that her boyfriend of over a year had dumped her so quickly, but what had happened afterward was more than she could ever have hoped for. She'd expected to live a fairly solitary life due to her abnormality, at least where romance was concerned, but Harry's words and actions these past few hours had opened her eyes up to a whole new world of possibilities. She could have love. She could have a family, and she could eventually achieve true happiness. And the man that would allow her to have all that had been standing right in front of her all along.

A moment of realization struck her as she replayed their last conversation through her head. If she wanted to be able to hold onto him for any length of time, she would need to be honest with him right from the start. Holding onto the secret of her gender classification hadn't been too difficult since it was something rather private, but after what they'd just done, three times in fact, the other facet of her sexuality needed to be discussed as well.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"If we're going to be boyfriend and girlfriend, I think there's one last secret that you need to know about me before we go any further."

That got Harry's attention as his eyes were now quite a bit more aware of his surroundings, though his gaze still returned to her worried face. "Okay."

"About earlier, when you brought up Susan and I got upset about it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, part of my problem was a bit of jealousy, but the majority of my problem was something else entirely."

"Okay, now I'm thoroughly confused." If it wasn't jealousy, what could it have been?

Hermione steeled herself for his eventual reaction. "Okay, well...the reason why I didn't want you to bring her up while we were still in bed together is because I didn't want you to see me getting an erection that wasn't caused by you."

The words played around in Harry's head as Hermione held her breath. "So...you didn't want to offend me by getting a hard-on, at the mention of Susan, while being in bed with me?"

Hermione nodded, worried that he hadn't shown much of a reaction yet, but when he finally did, she became just as confused as he was only moments ago.

Harry snorted...then he escalated to chuckling...then he progressed to a full blown laugh.

Hermione scowled. "I don't see what's so funny about it."

After taking a few minutes to catch his breath, Harry responded with an unexpected comment, "You must not get stiffies as much as we guys do."

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Let's just say that if I got mad at you for getting the occasional hard-on that wasn't caused by me, then you'll have flogged me to death by the end of the week."

"What do you mean? Just how often do guys get...stiffies?"

"Oh, about once every 10 minutes."

Hermione's eyes widened. "10 minutes?"

"Give or take 5, yeah."

"Seriously? How, in Merlin's name, do you deal with that all day? I only get hard when...well...as often as I get wet, which is a LOT less than once every 10 minutes."

"We make do; it's just how our bodies are built. That's probably why guys have a reputation for being pigs; we get a boner at nearly anything that walks, as long as it has boobs, but let's not get too far off the subject. I believe you were saying that Susan was wank material?"

Hermione slapped him on the shoulder. "I said no such thing!"

Harry laughed. "Just about; come off it Hermione, honestly I'm about to get a stiffie of my own just hearing you hint at it, so that should tell you everything you need about what I think of you finding other women attractive."

"You...don't mind?"

"I meant what I said before Hermione. I'm in this for the long haul."

Hermione let out a breath of tension and nodded in relief. "Good, I am too. I just thought you should know about it, before we moved forward."

"Thank you. But can you clarify something for me first?"

"What's that?"

"I just wanted to know...beforehand...what you'll...I mean...if you'll be...needing...that sort of relationship...with someone? Because as much as I love you, Hermione, my orifices are firmly set in the 'exit only' category."

Hermione's heart leaped at his slip of the 'L' word. She doubted he even realized what he said. "Well..."

Harry reached over and put a hand on the side of her face so that she could focus only on his words, "its okay, Hermione, believe me, I understand perfectly what you might be going through. Well, not perfectly, as I'm still technically a virgin too, but I can understand those urges. I can honestly identify the need you might have for something more than just...hands. But that's only because that's one of the needs I hope to fulfill with you for myself someday. So if this is something you need...then I am okay with it, but I would like to reserve the right to have an opinion on who this other person might be, if that's okay with you?"

Hermione covered her mouth with her hand for a moment, then lunged forward and hugged him again. "You're turning me in to a blubbering humdinger!"

"I think its blibbering."

"Whatever!" she cried. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"You were, and still are my best friend, Hermione. You've been with me through thick and thin, no matter what life has thrown at us, and you deserve every bit of happiness I can give you.

"Thank you." She responded through sniffles.

"And to be honest, I find it incredibly hot that my girlfriend wants to have a girlfriend of her own."

She swatted him on the arm again. "Pervert. And yes, I agree to your terms, anyone I find has to go through your approval first, which is only fair. Maybe I'll try to find someone that is bi too, so that you can be there with us...if she's interested, of course."

"You drive a hard bargain, woman. Practically twisting my arm, you are!"

"Oh, stop!" she swatted his other arm, but he didn't care one bit.

After a few moments of laughter they smiled at each other once more.

"Seriously, Ron has to be the biggest idiot in the entire world, but maybe I should go thank him."

"For what?"

"For giving me the opportunity to go out with the best friend I've ever had, who also happens to be the hottest woman I've ever known, and who just happens to have a sex drive to match my own to go along with a healthy need to bring other women into our bed."

"Good point." She nodded seriously, before bursting into giggles again.

"So...you hungry?"

She pecked him on the cheek to respond, "I could eat."

"Let's go get something from the kitchens then. I need to build up my energy for tonight."

"Oh? And what happens tonight?"

"I get to show you some of the...alternative...advantages to being a parseltongue."

Hermione shivered with excitement and quickly leapt off the bed to get dressed.

THE END...for now.

Feel free to review!