Disclaimer: I will never own One Piece. I only own Maeve, Jodie, Aoi, Bullet, and A.A.A
Title: Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver, and Blackmail is Bronze!
Things you need to know- AU, Yaoi, SmoAce, Language,
Rating: M (This is actually rated for language!)
Luffykotheeevee: Our story starts at about ten in the morning. A rusty, red Ford was heading into town at slightly higher than average (read insanely fast) speeds. Inside the truck is where our protagonist, Foley Maeve, is currently screaming every insult at the driver of the car and his little brother.
"AHHHH! ACE YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST! FUCKING PYRO!" I screamed. Honestly, when Mom told me my twin, A.A.A., and I would be spending the summer with my hyper active cousins instead of on the cruise ship with her and Dad I didn't expect it to be this bad! My 20 year old cousin, Portgas D. Ace was driving so fast it shouldn't be even legal to think about, and he kept looking around trying to see if any cops were coming acting like he did this every day. Monkey D. Luffy was laughing his ass off in the front seat, and urging the freckled man to go even faster. I was clutching the back seat in one hand and my brand new iPad in the other, all the while wondering how the hell we got into this mess. Oh, yeah, it was that stupid Law's fault! He just had to challenge Ace to a friggin' drag race! Shitty doctor!
Luffy stuck his head out the window while giving reports on where Law was, "Quick, Ace! He's gaining!" All of a sudden I see flashing lights coming from our left, signaling the 20 year old to slow down and stop at the side of the road. I sighed and practically melted onto the floor. Luffy looked back at me laying on the floor and giggled. The gray haired policeman walked up to the drivers seat window and started scribbling on a pad of paper.
"Ah, Portgas D. Ace. I thought your car looked familiar," a gravelly voice said. To me it sounded like this guy had a bad cold or something. I couldn't really think clearly because of the 'fun' car ride. The next thing I knew Luffy was getting out of the old truck and walking into the forest we parked next to.
"Ah! Smoker, how good it is to see you! I hope you don't mind but my little brother was hungry and I didn't want him to bother anyone," I nearly groaned at his polite way of speaking. But as I heard the drivers door slam shut and what Ace really had to say I almost gagged.
"And he's gone now, so I really~ hope you won't give me a ticket for this Smokey~, I can pay the ticket now~ if you want me too~." Was my cousin, the object of so many girls affections, gay! And was he actually trying to seduce the law married Smoker! And it actually works! Apparently he had forgot I was in the car! I slowly peeked out the window and saw Ace seductively wrapping his arm around the police man's neck. I was not disgusted, if he was gay okay, but shocked at what he was doing. All of a sudden I realized the perfect way to get revenge for the drag race with Law and the pranks this idiot has pulled all during the first week of summer, which started a week ago.
I brought up my iPad and hit the 'Picture Call' and 'Record' buttons the former dialing my dear twin sister A.A.A.'s iPad. The second recording what I saw. She was probably hanging out with the rest of the crew at our favorite restaurant, The Thousand Sunny, which was owned by some old family friends, Iceburg and Franky. She was smart enough to not ride with Ace and Luffy. When my dear look alike picked up the phone she set down the tablet for all, meaning everyone in the crew, to see. I had the screen side camera turned on and held up a finger in front of my mouth, signaling them to be quiet just to be sure. I turned the volume off so they could hear us but we couldn't hear them. I then turned on the back side camera and held it up to the window.
The crew's reactions were hilarious to say the least, I had the screen facing me so I could watch. The thing that made this revenge the sweetest was that Luffy had made it to the restaurant, our original destination, quickly. Everyone openly gaped at the two men with their faces just barely inches away from each other. Then it got even better.
Ace had pulled Smoker the cop into a passionate kiss, using tongue and all. This is where the crew's reactions differed from one another. They had heard me harp on and on about Ace being the pranking king and making my stay really hard to handle.
Zoro, Bullet, Jodie and Triple A, these were the ones hearing me complain most, were now laughing their asses off, while Chopper, Vivi and Aoi looked on in confusion. Robin simply raised an eyebrow and smiled. Franky and Usopp stared with their jaws drop to the floor while some orange pop was coming out of my long nosed friend's potato cavern. Nami was staring at the screen, eyes wide. Sanji had promptly covered Aoi's and Vivi's eyes with his hands, and I think if he had enough of them he would cover the other girl's too. Funny thing was he was watching intently at the two. Brook was laughing and I think cracking off some skull jokes. And Luffy was just staring at the screen trying to comprehend what the hell Ace was doing to Smoker. That was when my fun stopped and the horror called 'busted!' started.
Smoker had turned his head towards my window and saw the iPad pointing in his direction. He had immediately tensed trying hard to figure out what was going on. Ace had noticed his friend's lack of enthusiasm and followed his gaze. When my older cousin's eyes locked onto me his face contorted into one of rage, especially at seeing the iPad pointing at them. I decided to make a safe retreat.
"RUN AWAY! RETREAT! ALL UNITS RETREAT!" I couldn't help yelling out fake orders to invisible soldiers as I took off through the window on the other side of the car. Luckily Ace was too shocked seeing me spying on their affair to immediately do anything. I quickly ran into the woods that separated where the car was parked from the Thousand Sunny. I was laughing maniacally as I ran away from the pyro and the cop. Smoker and Ace had quickly recovered and were gaining on me in the woods. Somehow the volume on the my iPad got turned back on and I heard everyone was cheering me on. Sanji was even shouting threats at the two chasing me.
"You two even dare making my dear chocolate haired angel cry and I will come and kick your shitty asses!" the blonde cook had picked up the iPad and was shaking it in front of his face. Zoro had obviously said something cause the next minute everyone was yelling at me to run and the background noise was a fight. And you just had to love the advice my blonde haired friend was yelling.
"RUN, BITCH! RUN!" Jodie was making a ruckus due to my chase. The encouragement from my crew mates gave me the energy to keep up the pace. Ace and Smoker, however were catching up quickly. Robin also added in some much needed advice.
"Use tactic number 15, Digger-san," she said louder than usual to be heard, while cupping her hands over her mouth.
"GOOD IDEA, ROBIN!" I yelled, too excited to keep my voice down. Everyone looked confused, but I knew what she meant. Act crazy as shit and hope they are too confused to continue the chase.
"MWAHAHAHA! VICTORY IS MINE, BUTT PLUG BREATH! TURD BURGLARS! SHIT NUTS! ENEMA EATING FLOOZIES! FUCKTARDS! MWAHAHAHA! SUCK MY NONEXISTENT DICK, YOU SHEEP TERRORISTS!" that victory yell certainly got them to stop in their tracks for a second and look at each other in confusion. Smoker probably didn't even know why they were chasing me or he would be after me like white on rice! I continued on my random string of insults as I ran into the parking lot of the restaurant. Everyone was staring out the windows facing the parking lot. Smoker and Ace still hadn't quite recovered as I hid in a bush outside the Thousand Sunny. The reason I hid in the bush was simple. It hid a broken grate that lead into the basement of the restaurant.
"Oh, hairy balls of the gods I'm so fucked after this. But it is so fucking worth it all just for seeing Ace's face! Bwahaha!" I laughed quietly seeing that everyone was cheering. I crouched in the darkness next to the many bottles of cola stored in the cellar. The victory was made all the sweeter when the two actually walked into the room above and people started bursting out laughing. I got a really good view of the reactions of the couple since my twin held the iPad's camera towards them. Covertly, of course.
Ace was looking between everyone in the room trying to figure out what was so funny. Then a coworker of Ace's, I think his name was Marco, walked up to Ace, all the way chuckling.
"Uhhh... Ace, bro... Thanks for the show," he said before walking out the door laughing. Ace could not have turned a brighter shade of red. Suddenly Smokey turned the same color with realization and walked out of the restaurant. Ace quickly followed him, probably to continue looking for me in the forest so he could kill me and set my body on fire.
I emerged from the trapdoor in the floor next to the crew's table and a brand new wave of cheering started up. A.A.A. walked up to me and high dived me, smiling. Zoro also walked up to me and said something that made shivers run down my spine.
"That pyro's gonna fucking kill you."
"Not if I spend the rest of the summer with Robin," I said back cheekily.
Luffyko: Oh. My. God. This turned out better than expected. I really hope that people read and review. Please click the button below. And if your wondering who the heck is the OCs then read OP: A Hundred Perspectives. Past the first chapter please. And don't forget to send reviews. I accept challenges!