A/N - There are a bunch of stories about Buffy going back in time to get Spike back, but I wanted to see how Spike would handle trying to get Buffy back. The first half of this chapter contains dialogue taken from Season 7 Episode 22 'Chosen'. Let me know what you think and leave a review please. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Obviously, this isn't mine, but I'm borrowing Joss Wheden's words (as he wrote the episode) and characters for my own use and pleasure.
Chapter One: Chosen's Demise
The earth above and below violently shook around them. Spike looked upon the chaos, the potentials running around, taking on the Turok-Han. He could see Buffy getting up off the ground. A flesh wound in her abdomen couldn't stop this woman, not after everything, not during this.
Spike watched as Rona threw the scythe to Buffy, almost instantly standing a little straighter, a little more determined. She knocked down five vampires in one long sweep. Vampires, along with slayers were going over the edge, fighting each other with dangerous vigor.
The blonde vampire stumbled as the Seal began to open. "Oh, bollocks," he mumbled to himself.
And energy shot up from him, straight through into Sunnydale High, bursting through the floor, narrowly missing the still-prone Willow, and continuing through the ceiling, from whence the noon sun poured straight back down.
"I didn't do that..." Willow muttered.
The sun hit Spike, pinning him, causing him pain, and something else to build within him.
"Buffy..." Spike yelled.
She saw him and raced over to him. "Spike!" She dove out of the way as a prism ray of pure, soulful sunlight blasted out of the amulet and into the cavern. It wiped out the vamps instantly, and even started tearing apart the cavern.
"Everybody out! Now!" Faith ordered.
The girls fought their way to the exit. Everything was shaking. Buffy went to Spike. He was pinned in place, energy still blasting from him.
"I can feel it, Buffy."
"My soul. It's really there. Kinda stings."
As debris fell and everything shook, the Slayers ran out toward the entrance. Buffy hadn't left Spike's side.
"Go on, then..." Spike urged.
"You've done enough, you can still—"
"No. You beat 'em back, it's for me to do the clean up."
Faith called from the entrance, "Buffy! Come on!"
The debris around them, kept falling, increasingly threatening to anything still left in the Hellmouth. "Gotta move, lamb. I think it's fair to say school's out for the bloody summer." The cavern was collapsing at the top and bottom—the actual school falling in on the vamps.
"I mean it. I gotta do this."
His hand was held up, frozen in his rictus of revelatory pain. Buffy took her own hand and interlocked it with his. A moment, and both their hands burst into flames. The two of them ignored the flames, looking only at each other.
"I love you," Buffy whispered. A moment passed.
Spike smiled kindly. "No you don't. But thanks for saying it." A large quake rocked them. Spike pushed her away. "It's your world up there. Now GO!"
She looked at him—and ran. He looked back at the destruction in front of him, and smiled wickedly.
"I wanna see how it ends."
As the souled vampire was being eaten alive, turning to dust from the inside out, he laughed almost evilly. He always knew he would go out fighting, the way a true warrior did. The sun called to Spike, and he relished in his demise.
Spike felt the burning, the searing burning, but he knew all too well that it wasn't the worst pain in the world. He'd do anything for Buffy, and here he did his worst; he sacrificed himself for her. How would he have known that the soul would be his redemption?
He hadn't planned that of course. The soul was to do right by her, to not be the monster she saw. He was more than, so much more than that. Only something more than human, but with a soul could wear that amulet. That left only him and his grandsire, the Poof. Had Angel known what the amulet would do to him when he volunteered? There were too many questions, not that they mattered anymore.
Spike could still feel the pain. He was sure that he had perished, so where was he. Had he landed himself in Hell? He never expected to go to Heaven, not with his colorful past. But he had at least expected something. He had no sense of where he was; he couldn't see, hear, smell, detect anything around him.
No wait, he was beginning to hear something, a dulled, pained roar. As it continued, he thought he was getting closer to it, but then he realized that the sound was coming from him. The intensity of the pain was so great, he hadn't even noticed that he was screaming from it. And then everything became quiet.
Spike must have passed out, because he opened his eyes to a great, white room. He was on his back, laying on a smooth, cool surface. He leaned forward, taking in his surroundings. He could see white as far as he could see, in any given direction. The vampire got up on his feet and began walking. This place didn't seem to be Hell or Heaven. Spike didn't know what to make of it, but maybe if he walked long enough, he'd come across something new, or at least think of some explanation to where the bleeding hell he was.
He wandered for what seemed like hours. His vampire sense of time didn't work here, and for all he knew, he could have been here days, or even only minutes. It didn't matter to him really, but this place had bored him very quickly. He would have preferred Hell over this.
Do you really wish that upon yourself, Vampire?
Spike heard the voice reverberate in his head. He couldn't see anything speaking to him, even if this thing was using telepathy, he should see what was talking to him, right? He didn't know if he should respond, but he figured he might as well try to get some answers.
"What is this place?" Spike called out to the empty space. His voice echoed, without giving any indicator if this place even had walls for the sound to echo off of.
This is the place that does not exist.
"Right helpful that is, mate." Spike called out sarcastically. "Mind telling a vamp what the bloody hell that means?"
This is not a physical plane of existence.. This realm is only perceived when we wish it to be.
"We? Who is this 'we'? 'Cause I only hear one annoying voice in my head right now." Spike wasn't sure if this was sick game on his behalf, where he talks to a lone voice in a room that doesn't exist. He wondered lightly if this was how Dru's mind worked.
We are many with one voice. We are all knowing.
"All knowing of what? Very cocky to say a thing like that, you know."
We know of the universe. Nothing occurs without our knowledge. Sometimes, nothing occurs without our involvement. We know everything there is to be known.
"Meddlesome freaks. Reminds me of the Powers That—fuck…"
Yes Vampire, we are the Powers That Be. We are the Powers of All Time, the Powers That Will Always Be. You should be grateful for all that we have done.
"Not too impressed with the universe right now. A lot of painful things happened down there. What happened down there? You couldn't even warn us, for fuck's sake?"
Certain events that occurred were even out of our reach. We could not reverse what had already been accomplished. We cannot control the universe, only guide it.
Spike was about to ask what events the Powers couldn't change, until he realized. Buffy's death, followed by her resurrection by Willow. This had all happened because Buffy was alive.
Not because the Slayer lives, but because she lives again.
"Wasn't there anything possible that could have been done to prevent any of this? Buffy was pulled out of fucking Heaven, and she's somehow responsible for The First and the Turok-Han? There were many players in this sick game that lead to this. You guys should have been able to see things before anything happened. Isn't that what you sick bastards do all day? Handing out visions and whatnot to prevent this sort of thing from happening in the first place?"
We could not foresee the Witch resurrecting the Slayer. We had guided the world until the Slayer's timely death, but We were not prepared for a power of that magnitude to change the course of the universe.
"Are you telling me that Red got the upper hand on the bloody Powers That Be? Who'da thunk the bird had all of that in her?" Spike was a bit smug to know that not even the Powers could prevent a then small-time witch on the Hellmouth.
We cannot prevent certain courses of action from taking place, but we can rewrite the balance of the universe.
"Do you mean like changing history and all that rot? Is that wise? You never know might happen instead, changing all sorts of futures, worse things could happen instead."
You are wise, Vampire. That is why you are here.
"Are you meaning to tell me that you want me to change history? Is that why I'm here instead of some fiery pit in Hell?" Since first arriving here, Spike was starting to get a bad feeling.
We wish for you to prevent the events that took place that lead to the imbalance of the universe.
"How the hell do you plan on having me do that exactly?" Spike had disbelief in his voice. The Powers couldn't foresee what had happened, and they couldn't prevent anything else from happening even after they knew what was happening to their little universe.
We wish to send you back in time. Your mind and soul shall bind with your former body at a specific point in time, when you first arrived at the Hellmouth.
"So, you're just putting me in my own body and trusting that I'm going to fix things and prevent everything that you couldn't?" More disbelief from Spike. That Spike had Dru and no chip. What would stop him from returning to old habits and reliving the life he had before he fell in love with the Slayer.
We trust that you will make the correct decisions. You lost more than most, and became stronger because of it. We may not have chosen wisely before, but we are sure that you can do right where we were wrong. There is much to be changed.
Spike knew thinking about being the Big Bad the way he used to be was futile. He was still in love with Buffy, and if there was any chance that he could see her again, do right by her again, he would take it. Buffy suffered a greater deal than any one he knew, and if he could change that, and reduce her suffering by even a small percentage, then she had that much more reason to smile again. He hadn't seen a real Buffy-smile is ages, and he wanted to give her the life she deserved. The Powers had royally screwed her over the last several years, but at least they were admitting to that now. He was being given the chance to give her what she deserved, and he wasn't about to turn that down.
Does that mean that you agree, Vampire?
"One question. Why me? Why not your beloved Poof?"
You no longer have a form on this Earth. It is easier this way.
Spike frowned. He was only being asked to help Buffy because he was dead, whereas the Poof wasn't.
This is not the only reason. We chose the Vampire with a soul to help Buffy for his redemption. Buffy is no longer his prize, as there was a fatal error in our decision. You, Vampire, are not as…capricious. Your love for the Slayer is not dependent on your soul.
At least someone knew that you didn't need a soul to love, unlike those wankers at the Council. "Alright. I agree or whatever. Send me back in time."