Hello! I haven't written fanfiction stories for a while, so I hope this one is okay.

If Natasha dies and leaves Clint, what would happen.

I tried to write this so that it is not out of character besides that fact that Natasha and Clint were dating (which didn't happen in the movie, and according to my friend, DEFINITELY did not happen in the comics).

Anyways, I really hope you enjoy. Please, please review. Thank you.


I've always known that one of us would have to leave first. I've always thought it would be me.

I never expected it to happen this way. This suddenly. This soon.

Right now I'm shooting arrows in a SHIELD gym. The sound the arrow makes as it flies through the air and hits the target (exactly where I want it to go) has always been soothing to me. Right now, I am trying to use it as a distraction.

A distraction from the memories of a strong partnership.

A distraction from the memories of her smiles.

A distraction from her beautiful laugh which will forever echo in my head.

A distraction from the weight of a velvet box containing a diamond ring in a pocket on the inside of my vest.

A distraction from the tears that are threatening to fall down my face.

I must suppress them, like the soldier I've been trained to be.

Yet, nothing, no-not even the shoonk of the arrows sinking in to the target, can distract me from all this utterly excruciating pain I feel.

I remember the way she would smirk at me whenever she had me pinned down during training. I remember the way her long curly red hair (before she cut it short) would whip around as she beat up men almost twice her size. I remember the way she would glare at me when I tried to hug her-but in the end, she would let me. Only I was ever allowed to hug her.

I remember when we started dating. At first, I couldn't believe what was happening. I was dating Natasha Romanoff. We went to gyms together, we went to the movies, I was tackled more than once, I tried to teach her how to use a bow and arrow , and she tried to teach me some Mexican-style wrestling. There was just something about a female doing those moves.

She was amazing. I loved her. I still do.

I remember the way I felt every time she came back unhurt from a mission. What was the feeling? Relief?

Except one day, she never came back.

Why, Natasha? Why?


She was on a solo mission. Actually, she usually went on solo missions, so I treasure the memory of every mission we went together on. Especially Budapest-ah, Budapest…but that's another story.

I was up in my "nest," as my fellow SHIELD agents called it jokingly, when three high pitched beeps sounded from some speakers somewhere on the walls. All SHIELD agents froze and fell silent, because we all knew what three high pitched beeps meant. A SHIELD agent had died.

I wonder now if I had known who it was before Fury even announced it. All I remember is that I had this cold chill climb up my back. I know we all felt cold then.

Last time, it had been an Agent Cornelia Charles with short blonde hair (and a trademark strand of hot pink), blue glimmering eyes, and an amazing skill with explosives.

And why did it have to be that this time, it was an Agent Natasha Romanoff with short red hair, green gorgeous eyes, and master assassin skills? Why?

For a while, I just sat there, in my nest. I slumped against the wall with my head tilted back. I understood what Fury announced, yet I was confused. I was mad, and that's when I started to go a little wild in the head. I was angry at the world around me, and I also went crazy. I also didn't want to believe that what Fury said was true.

But deep, deep down, I knew.

But I hadn't wanted to listen to the truth right then. I was mad. I went mad with hurt.

I stood up. My jaw was tense, my teeth were clamped shut, and I swayed a little. My head felt funny.

An agent walked by.

"Where's Fury?" I asked him. In my confusion, I didn't even recognize, or care to recognize, who it was.

"He's not to be disturbed right now."

"TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" I screamed at him. Many agents turned around and stared.

The agent backed up a little.

"Whoa, Clint, bro. Calm down, man. He has an important meeting with the Avengers. He's, well…okay, okay, he's upstairs in the meeting room 4B. And Clint, we're really sorry about what happened. All of us SHIELD agents."

I barely heard the last part. I ran upstairs.

"ARGH!" I banged open the door and rushed inside. I felt like murdering something, or someone.

"FURY!" Crazed, I pointed my arrow at Nick Fury. He held his hands up, but the Avengers all stood up, confused, worried looks on their faces.

"Whoa there, Mr. Barton," said someone. It could've been Steve. I didn't care then.

"TELL ME NATASHA ISN'T DEAD! TELL ME-TELL ME NOW! SHE'S THE BLACK WIDOW! SHE CAN'T DIE!" I shouted.

"I'm sorry, Clint, but-,"

"DON'T LIE TO ME! DON'T-," I started for Nick Fury's throat.

"Okay, Hawk-man, that's quite enough," declared Thor. He grabbed my arms and held them behind my back. The rest of the Avengers also jumped into action.

I kicked Thor's legs and struggled as hard as I could to be freed from his grip.

"NATASHA'S NOT DEAD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, FURY? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY NATASHA?"

My Natasha.

"He's not in his right mind! Keep a hold of him, Thor, I'll take his weapon," said Steve.

I struggled to keep my bow and arrows, but Steve pried my fingers open.

"Barton's gone crazy," stated Tony unnecessarily.

"FURY! TELL ME THE TRUTH!" I screamed. I must've had a wild look about me. Teeth bared and hair messy, my eyes were fixed on Director Fury, and sweat rolled down my face.

Nick Fury looked me in the eye for a while. Then he turned away.

"Yes, Agent Romanoff is down. She was in a building when it exploded suddenly. We weren't able to catch the man who did it. But she completed her mission," confirmed Fury gravely. "I'm sorry," he added.

Still in Thor's grip, I fell on my knees.

"NOOO!" I screamed at the ceiling in rage and agony.

Suddenly, my body was almost limp-Thor held my upper body up by my arms. I stared at the ground.

"No," I whispered.

I'd never felt so broken, so defeated in my life.

Bruce looked down at me concerned. "We're all very sorry, Barton."

"Natasha's gone," I whispered rather dumbly. Then suddenly, I looked up.

"I just went crazy, didn't I? I'm sorry," I said to Directory Fury. My words seemed meaningless.

Bruce Banner whispered something to the director. I caught words and phrases of what he said.

"Clint…shouldn't...off duty…stress…mind…"

Fury just frowned silently for a while, and then nodded in agreement.

"Agent Barton, you're being let off duty for a week. The rest of you-let's finish this meeting. And Tony, take Barton to his room and give him something to drink. And no, I don't mean liquor."

Numbly, I allowed Tony to take me to my room. I allowed him to give me a glass of cold water. I allowed him to command me to "get some rest."


So here I am in a SHIELD gym, shooting arrows, and trying not to let these stupid tears roll down my face. I take out a velvet box from the inside of my vest, open it, and take out a shining, sparkly diamond ring. I put it on the tip of my next arrow, and I close my eyes and shoot that arrow right into the heart of the target. The ring dangles there, trapped-just like I am trapped in a life without Natasha.

Suddenly, the door behind me opens. The proud, steady sounds of the footsteps on the mats of the gym tell me it's Tony approaching.

He stands quietly next to me for a while. At first, he doesn't say anything, so I keep shooting.

I know he notices the ring. I know he's going to make some comment about it.

"You really loved her didn't you?"

There it is.

I make no comment. Instead, I went and pulled out the arrows from the target, except for the one with the ring.

"Well, um…do you want to be left alone?"

What kind of a question is that? But actually, no I don't want to be left alone anymore.

"Uh, no…not really."

"You know, they're actually serving dinner upstairs. Why don't you come and join us?"

I don't want to go upstairs and face all the pitying looks of the other agents.

"No. I don't want to go upstairs, but thank you," I answer.

"You know, we're all here for you," says Tony.

I stopped shooting for a moment. Those tears are threatening to fall. I try not to blink so that my eyes go bone dry. Then I resume.

Tony stares at me for a while, and then he turned and left the gym.

I put on a blindfold and started to shoot a circle of arrows around the one that had the ring trapped on it.

A minute passes by. Then four more.

Creaking, the door to the gym opens behind me. Smelling something good, I turn around and take off my blind fold. My eyes widen. It is Pepper holding two trays of food, and the Avengers trailing in behind her, each also carrying a tray of food. I haven't eaten all day.

Pepper walks toward me.

"Here," she says, passing me a tray. "This one's for you. Enjoy."

And just like that, we're all sitting on a large gym mat, enjoying SHIELD-cooked spaghetti and delicious garlic bread.

They all glance at the ring at one point or another, but it never pops up in our conversation (probably because Tony informed them about it earlier), and we're all laughing and having a good time.

At one point, Pepper just looks at me and smiles.

And suddenly, a dam inside of me breaks, and the tears that I've suppressed all this time start rolling down my face. A lot of tears. And I drop my face into my hands because I'm starting to sob-and I'm embarrassed because it's such a girly thing to do.

My friends surround me. Pepper rubs my back, Thor thumps it (hard), Tony grips my shoulder, Bruce moves my tray out of the way, and Steve runs to get a Kleenex.

And later that night, I dislodge the arrow with the ring and I put the ring back into the box.

I don't feel so trapped anymore. You see, I have a family.


Well, that's it...

UNLESS you review and tell me you want another chapter about if Clint dies and leaves Natasha.

I really love reviews.

Thank you to Julliet15!

~AvengerGal