This one is for Cara who had been trying to even out the story count for HYD and MG in comparison to BoF. Yeah, I'm sorry for the aghast feeling, but I was bored, it was lunch time and it's the first song that came through my MP3 that made me thought of the couple. One-shot!
"Xi Men…" Xiao You's voice came out barely audible to human's hearing range. There was obvious trace of shock upon seeing the face of a man that she had missed even when he was there beside her. It took all of her not to reach out to him, to allow herself to stand motionless as his gaze fell upon her longingly. "Hi," A simple greeting fell from his lips, but, like her, he stood motionless, only his gaze was betraying his composure. "Hi," Xiao You replied weakly. Just having him there, standing was enough to shake her, he had been the one person she could love with all her heart and she did. For a while, he had loved her back, for a while, they had been happy. For a while, until they realized it was never meant to be.
"How have you been?" Xi Men asked, trying to sound as casual as he could. A month – that, was how long it had been since he had seen her before him. Seeing her and looking as lovely as ever, it almost made him wanted to forget his own conviction. It almost made him wanted to run back to her, but he knew he could not. He loved her, there was no doubt in the world that he did, but, he cannot make her happy and he knew that better than anyone else. He cannot, he had tried, he had done all he could but her happiness was not something he could grant her. He was still the same person he was before she came into his life and he was not able to let go even as he had tried.
"I'm well," Xiao You replied. A small smile was playing on her face, but as bright and sweet as a smile could be, Xiao You's were bitter. It was no longer the smile Xi Men was once used to. "And you?" Xiao You asked in turn, small talk, casual conversation with Xi Men was still something that was difficult for her. Letting him go was hard enough and she knew it would take forever before she could finally see him without any lingering feelings. Where did all go wrong? She had asked the question a million times over. Not once had she found the much-needed answer that could very well set her heart to rest. Why was it so difficult for them to hold onto each other? She couldn't help but resented the fate that had led them down that road which separates them from each other.
Xi Men managed a small smile as he nodded nonchalantly. "It's been hectic," He replied lazily, trying very hard not to show how he had practically buried himself into his work. It was his choice, but it didn't stop the pain from piercing his very heart. The heart he thought was long dead but Xiao You had revived it. He wanted to go back; he had wished he had never chased after her. He had wished that he had never caved into his own desires. He had wished for a lot of things and a lot of things of which he knew that were pointless to wish for. He had wished that he had not given her hope only to set her up for heartbreak. He could only watch as Xiao You nodded lazily, trying to force another smile to hang onto her lips.
Her lips. He remembered the feel of her lips on his the most other than the look she had always had in her eyes that was reserved only for him. "I'm sorry," Xi Men said finally. In one simple apology he had hoped it could fix her broken heart. It was a simple apology yet it carried the weight of all his longing, regret and hope. He watched the smile that she was trying to hold onto disappeared from her face. A nod, that was all that she could grant him. A nod and in that moment Xi Men knew that it would never be enough, even if he was to string her endless apologies, it wouldn't be enough. He did the one thing he promised himself that he would never do; he broke her heart.
"No," Xiao You stated weakly and for the first time in weeks she was smiling again, genuinely smiling like she used to. Part of Xi Men was taken aback but how easily Xiao You brushed his apology, but the other was glad to see her smiling again. I made the right choice. He told himself, reminding the core of his being that it was the right thing to do, to let her go was the right thing to do. "You don't have to apologize," Xiao You added. A small smile hung onto Xi Men's lips as he nodded. "Us," Xiao You began carefully, trying her hardest to not hang onto her dear life. "You were right, it was never meant to be," She added, gripping to the handle of her handbag to keep her from reaching out to him.
"You'll find him," Xi Men said, shoving his hands into his pocket, fiddling with the inner stitches. It took all of him to say what he had just said. But, he wanted her to be happy even when it wasn't him that would be the one making her just that. "I thought you don't believe in the idea of true love," Xiao You joked back lightly, ignoring the sound of her heart breaking. Xi Men chuckled and soon Xiao You joined with her musical laugh. "I don't, but you're an exception," He replied honestly. Still, I'm not the one meant for you. He added quietly in his head. Xiao You's smile faltered for a moment but she managed to regain her composure, squeezing tightly onto her handbag. "Thanks," She managed, swallowing hard, trying not to think of the 'what ifs' that was making its case at the back of her head.
"I mean it," Xi Men replied seriously, fixing his gaze onto Xiao You's face. He watched as that infamous blush of her settled. "I know," Xiao You replied with a small smile. The story of her and Xi Men was already in the past. They had fought for it, but it was not something that was meant to be in the first place. "I really should go," Xiao You said quickly. It was about all that she could take before she would break down and beg him to stay. No, he already made his decision. "Goodbye, Xi Men," She added, nodding slightly before brushing off pass him, catching his subtle goodbyes, sending her off her way. The word caught her, stopping her in her track, causing her to turn back, finding him smiling at her.
"I don't regret it," Xi Men stated and Xiao You could feel her heart skipped a bit. It should be wrong for him to still have that effect on her, but, she remained quiet, allowing him the much needed confession he was due. "I was happy and I was glad to have had the chance to be in your life," He added sincerely. A small sigh betrayed Xiao You, he was still catching her every breath. "Thank you," Xi Men stated before stopping. He studied Xiao You's face for a bit, he would miss her, he would always love her, but before that love would be extinguish with time, he had to let her go. She would be better off with the pain of a break up than a pain of a betrayal.
Xiao You nodded. "No regrets?" She found herself asking before she could stop herself. Xi Men balled his hand into a fist as he faked a smile. He was getting better at pretending in front of Xiao You and it was only a matter of time. "None," He answered easily. Xiao You nodded once again. "Goodbye, Xi Men," She repeated, turning her body around, leaving Xi Men standing where he was. "Goodbye, Xiao You," He stated silently as he watched her disappeared between the crowd. Goodbye, be happy.
Originally published on "Lovers Unparalleled" 29th August 2011