Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.
English is not my mother language.
You need to know that it is the last chapter. I hope it's better than the previous ones and that you'll enjoy it!
If you want to know, my next story will not be published on this webside because of the rating policy. It's going to be a Merlin/Uther smut so I don't want to risk. Merlin/Arthur is still my OTP but I need to write something different from time to time. If some of you are interested in my next story, it will be published on Archive of Our Own. My nick is the same. Besides, once I publish it there, you'll find the link to my account in my info.
Now enjoy the last chapter!
King most wanted
"Face to face"
Merlin was lying on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He had a lot of things to do but he couldn't focus on anything. He was too worried about his conversation with Arthur. He knew what he had to say but he didn't know how.
You two are very close and...
I cannot blame you for loving him...
Maybe it means to Arthur more than you think...
It cannot last any longer because you're getting worse and worse!
Merlin kept hearing Gwen's words in his head. He couldn't chase them away, though he tried very hard.
He remembered all the intimate moments that he spent with Arthur. They were amazing but there was always something missing. Merlin knew that it had to change. He knew that it was destroying him. He barely recognised himself in the mirror. Arthur had been the essence of his life for years but what he was feeling now was just too much. His whole life couldn't rely on Arthur. That was madness. He could not completely rely on something which was going to fade away sooner or later. Merlin needed Arthur in his life but he couldn't keep living like this. He needed to know what Arthur was thinking about it. About them. The truth would be painful but without it he couldn't be himself.
"Merlin," someone whispered. The warlock looked in the direction of the door and saw Arthur. The man was standing there, looking at him sadly.
Merlin sat up instantly. He had a feeling that something was wrong. Arthur rarely visited him in his room. It was Merlin who always followed his king. It was Merlin who always was there to help him. No matter what.
"We need to talk, Merlin," said Arthur seriously and closed the door behind himself.
"I know," the warlock replied weakly. "I always knew this day would come."
Arthur moved closer to the bed. He moved rather slowly. There was no rush. He didn't want to scare Merlin away.
"You did?" Arthur asked uncertainly and stopped moving for a while.
"Of course," Merlin said. His voice almost broke. Almost. He cleared his throat and looked Arthur in the eyes. He had to be brave. "Who is she?" he asked. "Do I know her?"
Arthur was startled. "What are you talking about?" he asked.
"Your future queen." Merlin looked away. He couldn't stand it any longer. He wasn't brave enough. "I understand... It has to stop."
"There's no woman in my life," Arthur assured him. "I swear."
Merlin felt like a complete idiot. He didn't know how to explain his behaviour. It was so immature.
"You're not yourself, Merlin," said Arthur, sitting by his friend's side. "Where is the cheerful Merlin who was driving me mad all the time? I want him back."
The warlock shrugged. He knew that it was probably his only chance to make things right but he didn't have strength to give it a try.
"I told you we need to talk." Arthur nudged him lightly. "Now I'm even more determined."
"What do you want to know, then?" Merlin asked him, trying to be as indifferent as possible.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "You cannot be like this!" he said. "Don't pretend you don't care. I'm not buying it."
"And do you care?" Merlin asked him almost accusingly.
The blond cleared his throat and said silently, "would I be here if I didn't?"
"What have we done, Arthur?" Merlin asked suddenly, glancing at him. "What have we done? We've just complicated everything!"
"True," Arthur admitted. "My life would be boring without you, though. I'm glad I met you and I'm glad that it happened."
Despite everything, Merlin smiled lightly. "Aren't we pitiful?" he asked. "We say it all the time. We don't even try to give it a name."
"Are you ready to give it a name?" Arthur asked him.
"I'm not sure," said Merlin, "but I want to."
Arthur nodded. "Me too," he admitted.
Their faces were dangerously close to each other. They craved for the kiss so badly but it had to wait. They needed to talk first.
Merlin moved slightly away. He needed some space. Arthur's closeness was too tempting.
"You'll have to get married one day," Merlin said suddenly.
"Probably," Arthur replied shortly.
"We will have to end this," the warlock continued. "One day you'll tell me that it's over and that I can no longer share your bed."
"Never," Arthur denied.
"Arthur, don't." Merlin swallowed hard. "I would probably stand it if it was purely physical. I would probably find another... but it's so much more. It's going to hurt so much!"
"I don't know what the future will bring," Arthur told him, grasping his hand. "But I know that I want you in my future. I want us." He sighed. "You will always be more important than all the rest. I cannot guarantee you that you won't have to share me with someone else but you are the other half." He closed his eyes because it was too much to him. He needed the illusion of safety. "I'm not making you stay with me. If you want to end this... damn it! If you want to go away, then do it. You have the right to decide."
Merlin watched Arthur for a short while in a complete silence. He looked vulnerable and so human. Merlin had never seen him in such a state. "You know I wouldn't leave you," Merlin whispered softly and leaned towards Arthur. Their lips barely brushed but it felt so much better than everything that they'd been doing before. It felt so real.
"Merlin..." Arthur whispered, opening his eyes. "You really mean that." It wasn't a question. The blond felt deep inside that Merlin was telling the truth. He knew that he would always rely on Merlin. After all, two sides of the same coin couldn't be separated. "I cannot promise you that it will always look like that," Arthur warned him.
"I know," Merlin said softly and only a little bit sadly. "I'll willingly pay any price for staying by your side."
"No, Merlin..." Arthur shook his head. "I cannot let you... no... it's too much..."
"It's not too much," Merlin assured him. "Besides, haven't I told you that love make us do strange things," he added, blushing madly. Love was a forbidden word in their language but it seemed like the best time to use it.
Arthur smiled at him. "I don't deserve you," he whispered, "but I'm glad you're still with me."
"I don't deserve you either," Merlin replied. "I thought I'd be alone forever. I thought that I had only my destiny... that I wasn't meant to be loved..."
"Merlin," Arthur whispered his name.
"I'm so happy that I was wrong," the warlock told him and stole another kiss. "I'm so... so happy..."
"Yeah..." Arthur moaned. "Me too..."
They kissed again. This time the kiss was deeper and longer. Their tongues danced together, caressing their souls. They had never experienced such thing before. Never. It was their first time in the deepest meaning of this word. They were almost like two virgins who weren't sure what to do but followed their hearts anyway.
They did things slow. There was no need for rush. It seemed like ages before they got naked but they liked it this way. It was the proper way.
"I don't want to hurt you," Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear.
"You won't," Merlin assured him, knowing that Arthur meant both physical and emotional pain. However, there was nothing to worry about. Merlin knew his place in Arthur's heart and that was enough. He knew that they couldn't change some things but at least they could be happy in their own way.
Arthur was very careful. He had always been a tender lover but this time was so different. So better. It wasn't just sex. It was making love, an experience on entirely different level, where both their bodies and souls were involved.
"Arthur... Arthur..." Merlin was moaning time after time, clinging to him. Their bodies were as one. Their souls were knit together.
Everything used to slowly fade away afterwards, but this time was different. When they were resting afterwards, they still felt close and as one. Merlin felt loved. It was wonderful.
Arthur put his hand on Merlin's and squeezed it lightly.
"Hmmm?" Merlin moved on the bed to look at him.
"I thought you were sleeping," Arthur said silently.
The warlock smiled. "It's afternoon. It's not the time for sleeping," he said. "It's the first time we did it in the daylight..."
"I know," said Arthur and kissed Merlin's neck softly. "Hopefully, not the last time."
Merlin chuckled. "So this is what's love like?" he asked after a while.
"I hope so," Arthur replied and hugged Merlin even tighter. "It must be love."
"I still think what we did is wrong," said Percival when he and Gwaine were at the safe distance from Merlin's bedroom.
"We had to make sure that my conversation with Arthur worked," the other knight replied. "I couldn't let him hurt Merlin any longer."
"You're very fond of Merlin, aren't you?" Percival asked.
"Of course I am!" said Gwaine. "If only he weren't so stubbornly in love with our princess..." He sighed. "That doesn't matter anyway... It's his loss."
Percival burst out laughing. "He didn't seem unhappy behind the closed door," he said. "I think he was pretty content."
Gwaine shrugged. "That's only because he didn't have anyone better," he said. "But thanks to him, you still have your chance," he added seductively.
Percival tried to hide his embarrassment with laughter but the effect was rather poor.
"Don't be such a virgin," Gwaine said and winked at him.
"Well... actually... I am," Percival admitted, even more embarrassed.
"Can't be!" Gwaine laughed. "Such a man like you! You know what? We can help it. Come on!"
"Where are we going?" Percival asked.
"To my chamber, of course!"
Percival wasn't sure if it was a good idea but followed his fellow knight anyway. In the end, he decided that it wasn't really a bad idea. Actually, it was a pretty good idea. The best that Gwaine ever had!
Please, review this last time :)