September 18, 2011
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The Day Everything Changed
I was sitting behind the vending machine at the back of the school, crossed legs, a book in my lap. This was my spot Mondays through Wednesdays for the forty-five minutes before I had to leave to walk to work. It was a nice quiet place to read, since hardly anyone ever came back here.
There had been a gentle and steady rain since lunchtime that day, but I was protected under the awning. The pitter patter of the raindrops was actually quite soothing. I took a sip of my diet coke and pulled the sleeves of my hoodie down over my hands, the tips of my fingers turned the well worn pages of Wuthering Heights.
I was getting caught up in the novel that I didn't realize at first when someone walked up to the vending machine. I heard it spit out a drink, but I didn't look up from my book, figuring whoever it was would get their drink and go away.
I stared down at the person's shoes for a moment, before I realized they weren't moving.
Slowly I looked up and saw Edward Cullen leaning casually against the coke machine, a lazy grin on his face. He was looking at me expectantly.
" 'Sup Swan?"
My heart flipped over in my chest.
"Hi" I managed to get out shakily.
His hair was slightly damp from walking in the rain, and it fell handsomely into his eyes.
My saliva pooled in my mouth until eventually I was forced to swallow, sure it was so loud he heard the gulp.
"So that was a pretty bad spill you took today. You okay?" he asked.
I must have turned a thousand shades of red when I realized he had seen me fall down the stairs this morning. A ton of people had seen it, and everyone laughed, of course, but I hadn't realized he had been there.
"I'm fine, thanks," I mumble, looking down at my book, simultaneously embarrassed that he had seen it, and yet pleased that he was actually being nice to me about it. Still I was cautious, waiting for some sort of punchline.
"Are you sure. It looked like you landed pretty hard on your side there."
My eyes flittered to his for a second. "I'm fine," I insisted.
He leaned down next to me and my whole body went on alert at his proximity.
"Do you mind if I take a look?" he asked, his voice deep and seductive. I could listen to his voice all day. This time I'm sure he heard me gulp.
I couldn't understand why Edward Cullen was even bothering to talk to me. What did he want?
He pushed back my sweatshirt and lifted my shirt to expose a small patch of skin at my hips, above my jeans. There was a small yellow bruise there.
I was acutely aware of my love handles, and the way my stomach fat bunched up while I was sitting, and I wanted to push him away and pull my shirt back down, but for some reason I couldn't.
My face was burning as he ran his thumb gently over the bruise, sending goosebumps up my spine.
"It doesn't hurt?"
I shook my head. "No."
He pushed the hem of my jeans down slightly to expose more of my skin and the yellow and green discoloring. It was like I was in a trance. I knew that I shouldn't just let him do these things. I normal person would push him away and stand up, but I sat there hypnotized.
Then without so much as a word, he suddenly undid the button on my jeans. I came to my sense and grabbed his wrist.
"What are you doing?" I squeaked out. There was no way I could let him unbutton my jeans.
He chuckled. "Relax, Bella," when he said my name, my insides melted. "I just want to see the rest of your bruise. It's not a big deal."
The way he laughed and how casual he was about it had be second guessing myself. Maybe it wasn't a big deal. Maybe I was being a prudish nerd.
"Oh." I said and released his wrist. He unzipped my jeans. This allowed him to pull down the right side further down my hip so he could see the whole bruise. All in all it didn't look too bad.
He ran his thumb over it again. Then he took me completely off guard by leaning down and kissing it.
I knew I should say something but I couldn't.
"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" he asked.
He grinned and shook his head. "Bella. Can I kiss you?"
My eyes widened. "What?"
He just continued to stare at me, but I didn't know what to say. I realized he must have thought I was an idiot or something. On the one hand I wanted to scream "yes," but the more rational side of my brain assumed this must be some sort of cruel joke, and I didn't want to embarrass myself even further.
Finally Edward must have realized I wasn't going to answer so he said, "I'm going to take that as a yes."
Then his lips were on me. It was my first kiss and it was better than I had even imagined. His lips were soft gentle, and sparks ran through my body, but he didn't take his lips away. He started to press a little firmer, and I could feel his hands at my waist.
The kiss was intoxicating and I never wanted this dream to end. I felt his hands slide into my jeans and he was grasping my butt over my underwear. This was going too fast.
I pulled my lips away from his. "Edward . . ."
"Shh," he said and kissed my jaw. "Wrap your arms around my neck."
I wrapped my arms around his neck.
He took his hands out of my jeans and used them to uncross my legs and spread them so that he was kneeling between my knees. He pulled me closer to the edge of the bench and started kiss me again.
It felt so good. He was so big, so manly, it made me feel small and feminine, something I had never felt before. He moaned into my mouth and slid his hands under my shirt, running them up and down my torso and I felt something else I had never felt before: desirable, wanted.
He came to his feet and pulled me with him, he held me by the waist, supporting my weight in his muscular arms. I could feel his erection pressing against me.
He was so confidant, so powerful, but in that moment, I felt powerful too. I was doing this too him. Me, mousy Bella Swan, was turning Edward Cullen on.
He maneuvered us into the corner between the vending machine and the brick wall of the school. It felt safe from prying eyes back there, since simple passersby wouldn't be able to see. It was small, but we both fit comfortably.
He set me to my feet and continued to kiss me as he pushed the waist of my jeans down to my thighs. I could feel myself getting wet.
He pulled away and stared me in the eyes as he started to rub me over my underwear. I knew I should tell him to stop, but something in his eyes prevented me from speaking. It was almost like a dare.
Nerdy, virginal Bella would tell him to stop. Of course she would. His eyes told me he was expecting it, and looking back, I think that's why, more than anything else, I let it continue. I didn't want to be predictable anymore. I wanted to be bold and daring and someone other than myself.
He continued to stare at me as he pulled down my panties, but he didn't touch me right away. He stared me in the eye, and I held his gaze. Finally he looked down at my exposed parts. I watched him watch me.
He unzipped his own jeans and pushed them down just far enough to get his dick out. It was the first time I had ever seen one in real life, and I had no way of judging the size of it, but to me it looked large and intimidating. He stroked it a few times as I just stood there, my pants and underwear fallen to my knees.
He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, and I wondered what he was doing until he pulled out a square foil wrapper.
I started to shake. This was really happening. I was really going to have sex with a boy I barely knew, who was almost certainly just using me, who probably did this to pathetic, insecure girls all the time.
I realized that he must know how pathetic I was, that my self-respect and worth was practically non-existent, or why else would I let him use me this way?
I watched him put on the condom, so business-like. Then he came closer to me and pulled me against him.
"Tell me to stop and I will."
He bent his knees slightly and used his hands to guide himself into me.
I was pressed flush against him, and my head came to his chest. My legs could only open so far, hindered by my jeans.
"Fuck. Bella," he said as he slid into me. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. It hurt as he stretched me in brand new ways. "You're so tight."
I could feel him in me. It was uncomfortable, and it did hurt, but at the same time, it was oddly satisfying.
He had me pressed up against the wall as he started to fuck me. I wanted to tell him to go slower, or to stop for a second, but I was afraid it would look like I didn't know what I was doing, so I went along with his lead.
He was breathing heavily. My head was pressed against the brick wall, and was starting to hurt. I moaned slightly and he lifted me up, supporting my weight, and going even deeper into me.
I buried my head in his neck, and took in his masculine scent as pumped into me. Then he came and sighed and pulled away. I was set back on my feet.
Edward quickly took the condom off and threw it to the ground. He tucked his dick back in his pants and was back to normal in a matter of seconds. I stood there and swallowed.
I couldn't read the expression on is face as I pulled my panties back up and he watched me. There was blood on my thighs, but Edward didn't comment on it. I pulled my jeans back into place.
He bent down and kissed me on the lips. "See you around, Sweetheart," he said and then was gone.