Pepper and Tony's 3 degrees of drunk

The Hot mess

She'd enlisted the assistance of Happy and Rhodey this time, as she often did when he was like this.

"I love you guys, I really do" Tony proclaimed as his two friends hoisted him up the stairs. His bare feet dragged along behind him as he clung to a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue whiskey as though it was an extension of his hand; if one moved so did the other.

Pepper had just had him discreetly and literally plucked from his birthday party, again. The first attempt Tony had escaped and then proceeded to elude them for the last hour; so goodness knows what had happened consequentially.

"We know Boss" Happy replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hmmm" Rhodey grumbled, clearly not amused as they rounded a corner, away from the music.

"Not as much as Potts though" Tony whispered to Happy, using his alcohol plied hand to point at him. As a result he nearly whacked Rhodey in the face with the quarter full bottle.

"But don't tell her that…shhhh" he divulged in a slur "She'll think I'm into her and then-" he paused, for some unknown reason raising a finger from his bottle –it looked as though he had forgotten himself for a second until his head shot up, ears pricked up "Hey don't turn my music down!" he yelled over his shoulder, assumedly to Pepper.

"Then what Tony? You'll actually have a responsibility you care about and will settle down?"

Tony boomed a cackle which fast became hysterics and the pair halted in their tracks.

"Oh that's great" Happy said sharply "Fantastic" he added, craning his head round Tony's to see Rhodey "Look at what you did now, we'll never get Mister Giggles here to sleep or even stay put for that matter"

"Me? This is all him Hogan" Rhodey defended across Tony.

"Don't be ridiculous" Tony managed, snuffing his laughter "Something much worse would happen" he continued gravely, looking to his two friends "she will win"

"I always win Tony" a voice piped up from down the hall to the echo of heels on concrete.

Tony managed to wriggle free of his chaperons to face Pepper. He was grinning at her, completely disowning whatever conversation was happening.

"Well I'm screwed then. That's it! Done! Finished!" he confirmed seeing a peeved off Pepper Potts still making her way toward him and so began to meander off toward the other stairs.

"No you don't" Rhodey instructed, rushing after Tony and taking his shoulders from behind and twirling him round and back to Happy.

"You know this isn't necessary" Tony argued as the pair continued to lead him to his room.

"The piano is in the pool" Happy informed his boss.

Tony stopped, looking quizzically at him and then Rhodey to be followed by Pepper.

"Yeah I got nothing" he giggled impishly, stumbling in the vague direction of his bed.

"You sure you don't need us to escort his royal ass-ness any more?" Rhodey offered, looking to Tony who had face planted the floor.

"I am…okay" he spoke into the carpet, using his bottle to as an aid to get back on his feet.

"Yeah I'll take it from here" Pepper assured, observing him continued to amble about the room.

"Really, I mean we can throw him into an ice bath" Happy offered "That'd sober him up"

"Very funny guys. Real pals. You can forget the cars for Christmas" Tony garbled.

"Cars? What we talking here" Happy interjected.

"Were beautiful. Hot rod red" Tony informed, raising a promiscuous eyebrow at Pepper.

"Night guys, I'll handle Tony from here" Pepper stated, head turning a little to the side, sending him a firm reprimand with her eyes.

"I bet you will" Tony mentioned, the bottle of whiskey poised at his lips before taking a swig. He didn't take his eyes off her.

"And I'll be taking that" Pepper told him, pulling it from his grasp and handing it to Rhodey.

She sighed as smile to him and Happy "Yeah good luck with that Pepper" Rhodey bid, taking his leave "Tomorrow Stark" he reminded Tony, about what Tony had no clue – he was more interested studying Pepper.

"Night Pep, Boss" Happy added, nodding to the completely inebriated and distracted Tony.

Tony saluted a response not tearing away his eyes from the object of his focus, well objects actually.

Waving the pair off, Pepper turned to see Tony was most definitely ogling her, more specifically down her dress "Just me and you at last…was getting a bit crowded" he mentioned, not bothering to look at her clearly bored expression.

"It's always me and you at the end" she enlightened.

"You know me, I'll see you right through from start to finish and I can guarantee it would be a…climactic experience" he said, exhaling the last past smoothly against her cheek.

She reacted as though he hadn't said a thing, save for the blush in her cheeks – that was out of her jurisdiction. Pepper had no control of her self-conscious blush around Tony and he knew it.

"Tony" she warned, undoing his half done tie and refusing to give such close eye contact.

"You know you keep shooting me down but you're always the one ripping my clothes off" he commented, holding his arms outward.

"So you want to sleep fully clothed? Is that it?" Pepper threatened, placing her hands on her hips and taking a step back.

"Just a tad hypocritical if you ask me" Tony said aside, looking to the ground, arms remaining spread out.

"Smelling of god knows what-" Pepper continued, taking his response as compliance and resuming to undo his shirt.

"When's it my turn to rip yours off?" he questioned, now undressing her with his gaze.

"With God knows who-" Pepper added, eyes falling on his lipstick stained collar, concealing the sourness of the truth on her lips with a disgusted tone. She lifted it to his attention, at which he shrugged his shoulders and she pushed the top half of his shirt off, freeing his arms and hands. It was a swift motion, as though Pepper had anticipated his shrug.

'Honestly, how did he have no idea who that was?' Pepper debated in annoyance, yanking the fabric out from his trousers, revealing further buttons.

He grunted, crumpling his face for a moment.

"I'm very thorough" he assured flirtatiously, placing a finger under her chin in an attempt to steady her presence in his vision and to get her to look at him properly. He may have been drunk but he knew when she was avoiding his gaze.

"And" she resisted, gritting her teeth as she went down on her knees.

"I can assure you" Tony pressed, now stroking the underside of her chin so softly. Pepper almost found her head being coaxed upward, Tony knew how to tease a girl, she could give him that.

"And…you just don't even care do you" Pepper breathed, losing the will to go on; with what she wasn't quite sure right now.

The last button came apart and she stopped.

"You'd look a lot better without clothes on" he stated bluntly.

Pepper knew the look he had on his face without having to avert her eyes from the task at hand. It was a determined and un-phased focus to have what he wanted. The tone of voice Tony had been using was enough alone to charm the pants off anybody, along with his smooth and calculated responses and suggestions. However Pepper, after years of witnessing him picking girls up, knew that the clincher was his unyielding stare. He could make any target of his believe he loved them with a single glance.

Pepper wasn't sure if she could deal with that.

"I can't do this!" Pepper muttered to herself in exasperation rather than in response to Tony. She held a hand to her head, realizing her next challenge and now wishing she hadn't sent Rhodey and Happy away. She stared at the silver belt buckle problematically, falling back to sit on her heels.

Tony followed her eyeline, swaying a little as he looked to his own belt and then a distraught Pepper – not that he really noticed she was distraught, all he saw was Pepper, on his knees in front of him and looking at his pants.

Things seemed to be going well in his eyes.

He meant to guide her head eyes up to him but she batted his hand away, remaining where she was, half contemplating how she'd even got in this position in the first place. However, sure enough Tony was persistent. He slunk down to the ground, a little less graceful than he intended, almost falling onto his side.

His eyes widened, steadying himself as he settled with Pepper between his knees and rather happily at that.

"I come highly recommended" he pitched more evenly than his motions.

"And test driven more times than I'd care to mention" Pepper quipped, trying to suppress a laugh. He was a shambles.

"Mileage isn't a bad thing" he mentioned, taking a lock of her hair and twirling it.

A preposterously sexy shambles though.

"It is" Pepper confirmed, standing and not allowing herself to become tangled in his eyes.

"See it as experience" he scrambled, literally scrambling to a standing position by hoisting himself up with the bed.

Pepper shook her head; even completely totaled Tony made her grin.

He proceeded in his endeavor, hands seizing her hips playfully.

"I could make you scream" he mentioned in a darker and more forceful voice than Pepper expected. Without her knowledge, his eyes penetrated hers masterfully.

"Tony" she tried to deflect him, but his gaze continued to persuade her otherwise. It was a pathetic attempt and she knew it.

So did he.

The look Tony was giving her now, Pepper could have sworn him sober – if not for the whole fiasco before this point.

"Real loud" he whispered, his nose now touching hers and hands lowering. It was a stifling proximity; all her vision was consumed by Tony's face.

She rested her hands on his bare shoulders, touching his face and allowing her fingertips to invade his hair a little.

"You're outrageous, you know that right?" Pepper asked flatly, taking him by surprise and pushing him back onto the bed. He shot her a look as if to say 'challenge accepted', eyes narrowing. Clearly enjoying this too much, his gaze darted off to the side as he sat there, running a hand through his already disheveled hair, not trying at all to look irresistible but succeeding ridiculously. Pepper was proud of herself for a brief moment but then suddenly incapable of taking her eyes off him.

"And you're outrageously gorgeous, you know that right?" he retorted, leaning back on his forearms and legs apart.

"Stop it" Pepper managed, tapping his knee.

"Always teasing me with your tight skirts and not quite tight enough shirts" Tony pondered aloud, claiming her by the hips again and reeling her toward him.

With no warning he had her flush against his body and turned them over so he was on top, standing on the floor and pinning her to the bed with his hips.

"I'm warning you" she threatened, not quite aware that one of her legs was wrapped around his until his hand ran up the length of her thigh.

"I know you want to Pep" he disclosed into her ear, caressing her shoulder now.

His breath coursed down the nape of her neck sending a shiver through Pepper.

"I can tell…" he admitted, moving his trailing his lips to her collar bone "I make you nervous" he whispered, lingering there.

"That's because I never know what you'll do next" she breathed, and his lips quickly raked up back her neck. Electric. "The hours of sleep I've lost because of you" she let out in a sort of laugh.

"Why not lose them in a more enjoyable way? I have a few suggestions, effective immediately" he smoldered, his mouth now ghosting over hers.

Pepper felt herself succumbing to him, this dark and handsome man that was all over her who just happened to be the one she was haplessly in love with. All she would have to do is close the distance between their lips and her fate would be sealed.

Luckily the taste of whiskey on her breath hit her and she snapped out of whatever she was very almost doing.

"I want you Virginia" he near growled, placing a kiss on her jaw line.

"Pants off" she ordered, simply, teasingly.

He gave her surprised yet approving look before letting her go and going to his belt 'This was easier than I thought…' Tony smirked to himself.

His buckle however was a bit trickier and he found himself focusing on that rather than Pepper's whereabouts for what must have been a few minutes.

Once he'd finally released the buckle his half conscious hearing kicked into action – the bedroom door clicked open.

Pepper was standing by it.

"Hey where you going?" he questioned suspiciously.

"To bed" Pepper smiled.

"But this one will have me in it" he reminded.

"Exactly. Hence why I'm going in the opposite direction. Water is by your beside as is your aspirin ready for the morning" Pepper concluded before he could respond "Good night Mr Stark" she appended, peering round the door at a now half naked Tony who shot her a smouldering wink.

Pepper exhaled slowly, leaning against the shut door, certainly a lot more flustered than she was on entering the room, before heading to the guest room.