a/n: Ok, this is my sad attempt at humor. I'm on a major sugar high right now (so what else is new?) so don't be surprised if this gets really weird. (which I'm sure it will) I'm warning you though, everyone in this story is way out of character.
Disclaimer: I own digimon!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! -gets dragged off to jail screaming- I was just kidding!!!! NOOO!!!! HELP MEEEEE……..I don't own digimon, I swear!!!!!
"TAI!!!!!!" Someone screamed, "TAICHI KAMIYA GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!"
Tai groaned and sleepily blinked his eyes open. He looked at the clock. 5:00 in the morning?!
"What on earth could she want at this ungodly hour?" He grumbled under his breath as he dragged himself to the kitchen to find his mother.
Kari watched Tai make his way out of his room and rolled her eyes as he tripped over a small table and almost stepped on Miko on his way past her.
"Could I possibly be related to that moron?" She asked no one in particular. She didn't even flinch as she heard a crash in the kitchen and a bunch of yelling (most of it done by Mrs. Kamiya).
"Yet another everyday occurrence in the Kamiya household," Kari mumbled, "Don't know how I put up with it…….."
:in the kitchen:
"Tai really," Mrs. Kamiya sighed as she picked up pieces of broken glass, "Do you have to walk into everything? You could at least make an attempt to walk around things."
"Sorry," He mumbled, "What do you want? Can't I just go back to bed?"
"No!" Mrs. Kamiya exclaimed as he turned and attempted to walk out of the kitchen, "I woke you up for a reason"
"What reason?" He asked miserably.
"Mrs. Leiton called me this morning. She can't get a babysitter, so I told her you'd watch the kids for her today. She's dropping them off in-"
"WHAT!?" Tai yelled at the top of his lungs.
"-half an hour." Mrs. Kamiya finished, ignoring Tai, who was now fully awake.
"NO! Mom, you can't do this to me! THAT WOMAN HAS 5 KIDS! Please don't make me watch them. They'll kill me! Can't you call her and tell her I can't watch them. Mommmmm" Tai pleaded as he followed his mom around while she gathered her things and walked to the door.
"I'm going to work, I'll be back later. Don't leave the house a mess." She said, still completely ignoring her son, who now looked like he was about to burst into tears. Mrs. Kamiya waved to Kari and walked out the door, shutting it behind her. Tai banged his forehead on the now closed door. "Why me?"
"I wouldn't do that Tai," Kari commented as she walked by him into the kitchen to get breakfast, "You might cause more brain damage."
Tai glared at her and stalked off to his room.
:::half an hour later::::
The sudden chime of the doorbell interrupted the temporary silence in the apartment.
"NNOOOOO!!!" Tai could be heard yelling from his room, which he had decided not to leave until Mrs. Leiton had picked up the kids.
Kari glanced at the front door and decided to just answer it herself. She opened the door and was almost knocked over by a stampede of screaming children.
"Well, thank you for volunteering to watch the kids. I'd love to stay, but I'm late already." Mrs. Leiton called over her shoulder as she headed down the hall, leaving Kari standing there with the 5 hysterical kids.
"TAI!!!" She yelled, "Get in here and baby-sit them!"
When she didn't get an answer from him she sighed walked in to his room. The Leiton children watched the slightly open door curiously, and forgot what they were crying about.
"OWWWW!!!!!" Tai could be heard yelling, "Kari, let go, please!!! Ouch, that hurts. Stop!!!!!!"
Now completely having forgotten their indignation at being deserted by their mother, the Leitons watched, delighted, as Kari and Tai emerged, the latter being dragged along by his bushy, gravity defying hair.
"Kariiii……." Tai whined, "What kind of a sister are you?"
Kari just smiled at his and said, "I'm going to TK's house. I'll be back MUCH later. Have fun!"
"No! Kari, don't leave me here, PLEASE!!!!" Tai begged.
"Don't worry Tai, they're just kids." Kari said with an evil grin, "Speaking of which…where are they?"
Tai's eyes widened and he began looking around frantically, "They're gone!"
You'd better find them." Kari said sweetly, walking out and closing the door behind her.
Tai whirled around, "Kids? Where are you guys?"
He walked into his room and looked inside, "Hello?" Empty. Suddenly he heard a noise coming from down the hall. He ran toward the sound, stopping in front of the bathroom door, "Gotcha!" He exclaimed, bursting through. His eyebrows shot up, not expecting what he saw. The bathtub was overflowing, the water still pouring full blast. It was already about two inches deep on the floor.
"NO!" He yelled, leaping for the faucet and turning off the water. He looked around hopelessly at the mess and shrugged, "I'm dead."
The Leitons were still nowhere to be seen.
"Kids, this isn't funny." Tai yelled, then to himself he muttered, "Dear digidestined, I am sorry to inform you that Tai Kamiya was recently killed be 5 carnivorous children. His traitorous sister Kari, who is now serving life in prison, left her brother to watch the kids by himself even though she knew perfectly well he wouldn't survive the experience….."
Tai continued his search, walking over to the sliding door that opened to the porch. He threw the door open and ran out onto the porch. Tom Leiton, the oldest of the kids, had Kari's cat by the tail, and was hanging the poor animal over the railing. Miko was screeching hysterically, all of her fur standing on end, claws extended and thrashing wildly.
"Tom! Put that cat down RIGHT NOW!" Tai yelled, running toward the giggling boy.
"Ok," Tom said, smiling evilly. He pulled Miko back over the railing and handed the frantic cat to Tai. Miko immediately sunk her claws into Tai's arm and hung on for dear life.
"Ouch! Dumb cat…Miko get OFF!" Tai yelled, trying to remove the cat from his arm, without much luck. By this time, Tom was long gone. Finally, Tai got the cat to let go of him. Miko disappeared under the dining room table, and stayed there, not daring to move.
"Stupid cat." Tai muttered, looking gingerly at his bleeding arm, "I don't care WHAT Kari says, that cat would make a great stew….."
Suddenly, another sound caught Tai's attention. The front door shutting.
"Uh-oh." He said to no one in particular, running toward the door, his injured arm forgotten.
Tai paused in front of his room. Two of the Leitons were right there in front of the door. It was the twins, Mia and Mike. Looking between the twins and the door, Tai made a quick decision. He grabbed the twins, one of them biting him on the arm, and shoved them into his room, locking the door behind them.
"Stay." He yelled over his shoulder, running out the front door. He looked both ways and noticed a small flash of movement to his right. Racing after it he turned the corner at top speed.
"I've got you now!" He yelled, tackling the person to the ground. The person was his principle.
"AAAHHHHH!!!!" Tai yelled, "So sorry sir, it won't happen again." Tai gushed, running back the other way before the principle had a chance to respond.
"That was a close one." He said to himself, "I hope I don't get in too much trouble…"
Tai ran down the hall, arriving in front of the elevator just in time to see the door shutting, three of the kids inside of it. He reached his hand out, trying to stop them, but only succeeded in having his hand crushed painfully in the elevator door.
"Hurry, hurry." He urged the elevator, hitting the down button repeatedly with one hand, the other one throbbing and turning slightly red.
Finally the door opened and Tai leaped inside, hitting the button for the bottom floor. After what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened up to the street outside. Tai looked around for any sign of the kids.
"NO! Not in the street!!!!" Tai yelled, seeing the smallest of the children crawling determinedly toward the busy Odaiba highway.
He ran toward the small girl, Lily, as fast as he could, snatching her up seconds before a large semi roared by where she'd been moments before. Lily immediately burst into tears and clung to Tai, grabbing him around the neck.
"It's ok, you're fine." Tai said softly, carrying the 4-year-old out of the street and looking around, finally spotting the other two kids.
"Jackpot." He whispered, walking to where the two were standing, looking up at him angelically, "Come on guys, let's go back upstairs."
"OK," Cileste, the oldest of the girls said, following him back to the elevator, smirking maliciously. Tai didn't like that look one bit…
The former leader of the digidestined let out a sigh of relief as the elevator door shut behind him and the three escaped children.
"Cileste, will you please push the button for floor 16?" Tai asked the 8-year-old girl.
"Sure." She said in a voice that somehow made Tai think of the Dark Masters. Cileste lifted a small finger and pushed the 12 button. And every other button on the panel. Including the alarm.
"CILESTE!!!!!!" Tai yelled over the wailing alarm, and the wailing Lily, still clinging to him, "You're going to get me in so much trouble!!!"
The mischievous girl gave him a self-satisfied grin and said, "I know."
Tai waited impatiently as the elevator stopped on every singe floor. When they got to the 11th floor the elevator stopped without warning. The alarm shut off and the doors opened slowly, revealing to apartment security guards.
"What seems to be the problem here?" The taller one asked, glaring at Tai menacingly.
"It's nothing," The other guard said, "Just a couple of kids playing with the buttons."
"This had better not happen again." The first guard growled. Tai nodded, eyes wide.
"Of course!" Tai said, "I promise it won't EVER happen again."
"Good." The second guard said as the door shut. Finally they arrived at the 12th floor.
"Cileste, if you EVER pull anything like that again I swear I'll make sure you're shipped to Antarctica in a bathing suit." Tai threatened, "I'll even supply the crate to put you in."
"Ok," Cileste said, not sounding at all convincing, "I'm sorry Tai…"
"Yeah, right." Tai said, rolling his eyes. Tai walked up to his front door and opened it to find the biggest mess he'd ever seen. You would never have known that the place had had a floor at one time. Tai's jaw dropped to the ground.
"What is this!?" He screeched, slightly hysterical, "This is going to take months to clean up! I swear, when I get my hands on those two I'll…."
Tai's voice trailed off when he walked into the living room. The twins were sleeping peacefully on the couch, curled up on the soft cushions. A smile crept onto Tai's face unbidden. They were kinda cute when they were asleep. He looked down at Lily, who was dosing off in his arms, and carried her over to the couch. He laid her down next to the wins and watched silently as Tom and Cileste followed suit.
Tom smiled up at Tai before falling asleep too. Tai sighed, "I guess terrorizing your babysitter is a pretty tiring job, huh?" He whispered, before turning around and looking at the cleaning job he had ahead of him.
Tai's face fell, "Why me?" He asked, "It's just not fair…."
"I'm home." Kari said, walking through the unlocked door. To her extreme surprise, the apartment was spotless. It was completely quiet and she vaguely wondered if the kids had just killed Tai and run away.
"Hey, the door was unlocked." She thought. Kari walked into the living room and cocked an eyebrow, seeing the kids all asleep on the couch. Turning her head to the left, she saw Tai, fast asleep, and snoring loudly in a fluffy armchair. She giggled softly to herself and shook her head.
Just then the doorbell rang. It was Mrs. Leiton. The sound of the doorbell woke up the kids, who ran to see their mom.
"Hi kids, did you have a good time?" She asked. Tom laughed,
"I had a great time!" He exclaimed. All of the other kids nodded in agreement, giggling softly.
"Kari, do you think Tai would mind babysitting the kids again tomorrow?" Mrs. Leiton asked, "They seemed to have such a nice time…"
"Of course he wouldn't mind." Kari said, "I'm sure he's LOVE to watch them again. He seemed to have such a good time!"
"Thanks Kari," Mrs. Leiton said as she walked away, "I'll drop them of tomorrow morning."
"Ok, bye kids!" Kari said, shutting the door softly, as not to wake her brother. She'd tell him about tomorrow later.
"YOU DID WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"
a/n: Well there it is. I just thought I'd write something fun before I did the Epilogue to my DQ fic. In case you somehow didn't figure it out, that last line was Tai. I hope you liked it. Be nice in your reviews…this is my first attempt at humor. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks,