So, um, I don't know where this story came from. Maybe a unicorn? I'm still waiting for the test results. I've never written Cade in my life, but I've always kind of shipped it. Actually, I ship a lot of different Victorious couples. I go through small phases where I obsess over a ship. I went through a Bat phase, a Candre phase, and a sort of Tandre phase. I think Bade is alright but I hate Bori because it's just so…boring and predictable. I've always loved Cade, Cori, Reck, and Jori. And I think I'd have to say my OTP is Cabbie because it's pretty much a sure thing and it's so cute!

Wow, I don't know why I felt the need to give you guys an explanation of how I ship Victorious. If your read all of that then you're awesome :P Anyway, this is just a random, bitter oneshot that I hope you all like!

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, but do you even wonder if Dan and the cast member look up fanficiton about them? I sure would!

As I bite her neck, I notice her skin smells like raspberries.

I despise raspberries.

But I love her.

When my mom ran out on my family, she made several trips out to her car with several different suitcases. I didn't know what was going on until my older brother, Levi, explained that she was leaving us for good. At first, I didn't believe him; I told myself that Mommy was just going on a small vacation by herself like she sometimes did. I was convinced that she would be back soon with souvenirs, kisses, and wild stories about her plane ride or the crazy things that happened.

But then, I saw her pick up the last of the bags. I realized that she really was leaving for good, and I had to act quickly. I bolted into the foyer and practically ran into my mother, tugging on the sleeve of her gray sweater. My eight-year-old self whimpered, "Mommy, please don't go; I love you."

She paused, frowned, then got on her knees and looked me dead in the eyes. There was no smile on her face, no playful words like usual, no consoling me saying that she wasn't leaving. Instead, she placed her warm hands on my shoulders and declared strongly, "Jade, listen to me; never tell anyone you love them. Better yet, just don't love anyone at all. You'll be protected that way."

With that, she picked up her final suitcase and walked out of the house for the last time. I haven't seen her since then, but I've always made sure to take her advice. I was young when that happened and I didn't really even understand the concepts of trust and love, even though I knew they were important. So, that made it easy for me to shut my emotions down. Once I got older, I realized that she was right; the only person that won't hurt me is me. I quit speaking to my dad, Levi went off to college and hasn't been home in years, and I've ignored all attempts of closeness my stepmother begs for.

Then, I met Beck. I always felt bad for lying to him because he truly is a nice guy, who probably deserves love, but I just couldn't love him; my heart wouldn't allow it. Even though I didn't love him, I still needed him. Another thing my mother always taught me was to always, no matter what, climb to the top. At Hollywood Arts, Beck was the key to social success. I was instantly popular and a total badass for threatening to kill and or maim any girl to come within twenty feet of him.

With any and every ability to love gone from my body, it was easy to not trust Beck. I just knew if I ever caught him cheating on me I would be ridiculed and dropped all the way to the bottom of the food chain, right about where Sinjin is. I was so paranoid that it ended up hurting the relationship and we broke it off, but that was okay. At that point I'd made a big enough name for myself that a mutual break up didn't matter. I was still on top.

I took the got the best acting and vocal coaches that my dad's money could buy. I got myself noticed by directors at school by always outdoing everyone else, whether it was at dancing, sing, acting, you name it. If I saw anyone else coming out looking better than me, I stepped up my game. That got me all the leading roles in every single play. Talent agents were making me offers left and right, promising me movies and TV shows, everything I'd ever wanted.

Then, Cat came into the picture.

I'd always secretly thought she was a sweet girl, but she definitely got on my nerves at times. We were never really all that close, we just happened to be in the same friend group. She was always someone to call when I was bored and wanted to escape from my problems, which she was great at. On the rare occasions that we did hang out one on one, Cat always seemed to make me feel better about whatever it was I was upset about. I never really saw us having much of a relationship; I figured she was just all sugar and no substance. That all changed the week after Beck and I broke up.

For once in my whole high school career, I didn't have anything to do on a Saturday night. I hadn't gotten any date offers, but I just told myself that was because Beck and I had just broken up. Desperate, I asked Cat what she was doing and she told me she was dog sitting for her mother's boss. I basically invited myself over and, long story short, a few irreplaceable items were broken. For some reason, the little redhead called Robbie and he brought along Beck. Of course.

More things got broken, but right in the nick of time, an earthquake struck. We blamed the broken stuff on the earthquake and got away with it without the guy knowing. All was fine and dandy until I was driving Cat home and she started to cry. Now, I had seen her cry thousands of times over the smallest things, but it was different. She looked at me with her big brown eyes and I saw so much guilt and pain that I could help but feel a bit remorseful.

I rolled my eyes and told her she could come to my house and stay if she wanted to, and she quickly smiled through her tears and accepted. She darted into her house quickly and reappeared five minutes later with a pink suitcase and a face clean of her tear-smudged makeup. She still looked unhappy, so I went all out and drove her to a frozen yogurt shop, giving her five dollars. I instructed her to go in and get whatever she wanted and to get me vanilla, which made her finally brighten.

She smiled slightly and bounced into the shop, returning soon after. Cat handed me my medium sized cup, and I saw that she added little pieces of brownie to it. "Cat!" I whined, "I told you to get me just vanilla."

The small girl just smiled wider and said, "You're more exciting than plain vanilla, Jade!" Even though I knew she wasn't flirting, my heart sped up. I quickly chastised myself for letting the pint-sized girl get the better of my blockaded emotions and I put all romantic thoughts away. This was merely a girl's night, I told myself. Just two girlfriends having a sleepover and eating frozen yogurt. Of course, I was completely wrong.

We got to my house and I grabbed Cat's wrist, pulling her through the front door. I was attempting to swiftly get to my room without having to talk to my dad or Isabel, his wife. "Jade?" My dad asked, but I ignored him. Cat and I got to the stairs when she stopped me from going any further.


"What?" I asked, just wanting to get away from them.

"I love meeting new people!" She said with a grin, her eyes genuinely excited.

"No," I told her monotonously.

"Too late!" Cat giggled as she left her suitcase and ran back into the living room. I chased after her, groaning. When I got there, it was already too late. "Hi! I'm Cat," she exclaimed cheerily.

"Well hello," Isabel greeted warmly, getting up from the couch and setting down the book she'd been reading. "It's always nice to meet one of Jade's friends, especially pretty ones like you." That earned a giggle and blush from Cat. See, that's always what I always hated about my stepmother; she was too authentically nice to everyone.

My father stood from the recliner and extended his hand, which Cat shook. "Yes, it's very nice to meet you, Cat. Jade doesn't bring many friends around." That remark caused me to glare at him and then roll my eyes.

Noticing the tension, Isabel changed the subject by saying, "Would you girls like anything to eat? I baked cookies."

Before the shorter girl could reply, I icily said, "No, we already ate. C'mon, Cat." I yanked her arm and pulled her away from the living room.

"It was nice meeting you!" She yelled as I forced her to go with me. Once we were in the safety of my room, Cat remarked happily, "They seem nice." I don't even reply, I just start looking through my movie collection for something to watch.

After watching my entire Scissoring movie collection, it was 2:30 in the morning. As I had suspected, Cat was scared out of her wits; she made me go to the bathroom with her to brush her teeth. Once we were settled into my bed with lights off, I said goodnight. About five minutes later, I heard a small whimper that said, "J-Jade?"

"What?" I asked, irritated. It had been a long day and I just wanted to go to sleep.

"I…I'm scared. Will you h-hold me?" Cat asked, fear in her voice. I sighed and opened my arms as the redhead snuggled into me. We got settled and I was almost asleep when Cat's tiny voice grabbed a hold of me again. "Thanks for being so nice to me,"

What happened next is something I will never forget for the rest of my life, no matter how much I wish I could. Cat stretched her body up to where she was at my level and planted a sweet, warm kiss right on my lips. At that moment, my whole body flooded with something that I've never been able to put my finger on. I don't know what to call it, but I do know what it made me do; I grabbed Cat and roughly pushed my lips to hers.

At first, she didn't respond, except for a small sound of surprise. If I had to guess, I'd say she was awestruck. Eventually, though, she began kissing back. It went on like that for a long time and we ended up going all the way. It was actually both of our first times; I never had sex with Beck because I was afraid of forming any kind of bond that would've kept me tied to him. With Cat, I didn't even think about that. It was completely in the heat of the moment, but I don't know if I could honestly say I regret it.

What I thought was a one time hookup soon turned into an everyday thing. I found myself texting Cat once a day when we'd have a different class and tell her to ask for the bathroom pass, which she always did. We'd meet up in the janitor's closet, leaving me where I am right now. This has been happening for months now and it's already consumed me whole, breaking down all those emotional barriers I built up. I've fallen in love with Cat despite the morals I've had for years now, and I don't know what to do.

"Jade?" Cat asks breathily, bringing me back to the present. I don't reply, I just keep nipping at the skin on her neck, eventually moving lower. When it's over we're both laying on the dirty floor next to each other, sweating and panting heavily. I get dressed as fast as I can, hoping that my Theater History teacher won't notice I've been gone long. Cat follows my lead, wordlessly standing up and putting on her pink flowery skirt and off-white blouse. She sits back down on the ground with her knees pulled up to her chest; I always leave first and she waits a few minutes so that we don't suspicious. I'm about to leave the closet when I hear Cat ask quietly, "Do you love me?"

I turn around and look at her. She seems so fragile just sitting there on the ground, her eyes brimming with tears. I bite my lip and actually consider scooping her up into my arms and saying yes. It would just take that one little word to make me happy, but happiness is way too risky. If I trust someone to make me happy, they're going to mess up. There's no denying the fact that I am in love with Cat, but I can't let what happened to Mom happen to me.

Well, if I can't follow my mother's advice and not fall in love, the least I can do is pretend that I'm not, like she said. "No, Cat," I say coldly, my voice as hard as steel. "Make sure to wait five minutes until you leave," is all I can think to say before leaving the small room hurriedly with tears threatening to spill over.

I'm halfway down the hallway when I hear, "You can't shut me out forever, Jade!" I whip around and see the redhead standing in the doorway of the janitor's closet, tears streaking her cheeks. Her body is shaking with what I assume is anger and her hands are clenched into fists. In all the time I've known Cat, I've never seen her like this. Ever since this whole affair began, she hasn't been herself. I've turned her into a quiet, angry, vengeful shell of what she used to be.

"It's none of your business!" I scream back at her, turning on my heel and running all the way to my car. I drive home with sobs racking my whole body, tearing me apart. I go straight up to my room and fall asleep, letting the darkness take me over. I dream of a world where my mom never left and Cat and I are perfectly happy, in love with each other. Of course, when I wake up, reality comes crashing down.

I awaken to the text message alert on my phone chiming, a happy, bright sound. I groggily open it and my stomach turns. "What ever we had is over, Jade. I never want to see you again." I quit breathing for a good twenty seconds until my vision gets spotty, signaling me that I'm about to pass out. I take a deep breath in but when I attempt to exhale, I begin to cry. I cry and cry like I never have before, violent sobs ripping from my chest like roars from an angry tiger.

Laying in my bed, gasping for air, I realize that I truly do love her.

I also realize something else; Mom was right, loving someone just ends in heartbreak.

What'd you think? Did I end it badly? I considered leaving it where Jade walks away from Cat, but I want to get Cat's reaction. You should tell me what you think, bro. Oh and sorry if Cat was OOC, but what can ya do? Well, you should review.

Every time you review an ugly kid in Missouri gets a little more attractive.

Think about the possibilities…