Never in a million years, would I think that would my husband be sick. I've seen him get shot, I've seen him "fake die", I've seen his hand be mangled but, he lived through all of that.
He might no make it through this. Derek has a tumor that is basically inoperable and the only person that operates on inoperable tumors well…is Derek. His career and his family were his life. He loved Zola so much; he would take her out to the park even if he was sick. Derek spent every minute with us because he didn't know how long he would be here.
Now, as I look at him, lying peacefully in the hospital bed; tube and wires hooked up to him, looking pale and unhealthy I start to think of our life together.
He was wearing his red shirt that he looked so good in. "I'm just a guy in a bar." He said. When I took home, I never thought about our future together. I never thought that I would love him the way I love him now. I never thought that he would be the father of my child. And I never thought I would feel this terrible seeing him die.
Then, when we were about to go on our date, Addison showed up. I hated Derek for a long time; I also hated Addison even though she was annoyingly nice and beautiful. I showed that I hated him on the outside, but in the inside I loved him unconditionally. It was the kind of love that I couldn't sleep without. When I looked at him at the hospital "prom" I just had a feeling.
When he kissed me in that exam room, I could barely stand up. I knew it was wrong; he was a married man and I was with Finn, who had plans. But at that moment, there was no where else I wanted to be. Every time he touched me I felt a flutter in my stomach and I wanted to just sink into him.
"I'm in love with you." He said when he showed up at my house after the quarantine. He said it, he said he loves me. I was the happiest person in the world when he said that. I was finally free, but I would have to tell the amazing Finn. When Derek told me he was taking himself out and that Finn was the better guy, I wanted to cry.
At Joe's bar, when we had a fresh start, I was ecstatic. I don't know what I was doing having drinks with Mark, but when I saw Derek I just wanted to runaway with him. Then when he told me that he couldn't leave me, but he did. I didn't understand it. Then Rose came into the equation; I tried to show that it didn't bother me, but it did.
When Beth's surgery was successful, I realized that I had to take control. I built the house of candles for us. "I got all whole and healed and you don't show up." Then he kissed me; the kiss was like a fairytale. I missed his lips on mine and I missed him touching me. Right then I realized, I cannot live without this guy.
"I'm not gonna get down on one knee. I'm not gonna ask a question; I love you Meredith Grey and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He said in that elevator. Derek showed me all the saves we did together and I realized we were a team and we were never going to stop being a team. Our wedding was the best wedding that any couple could wish for. "To love each other even when we hate each other; no running, ever. Nobody walks out, no matter what happens. To take care of each other even when we're old, smell and senile, this is forever." Our vows were perfect.
When the shooting happened, I thought I was going to die with him. He was shot and I had a miscarriage. We never met out baby; we would never get to see the baby grow up into a little boy or girl. We would never see her play dress up. We would never see him play baseball. We would never see it graduate from high school. Derek would never be able to give her to her husband. I would never be that baby's grandmother. It wasn't fair that this happened to us.
Then a miracle happened; we met Zola. Zola was our perfect angel. I had plans for us; we would be the perfect family and would do everything together. But then the clinical trial happened. I tampered with the results for Adele. I knew it was wrong, but I don't see things in black in white.
Finally, we had our happily ever after. Derek and I were good now; Zola was legally with us and it was amazing. When the plane crash, I lost a piece of me; I lost my sister. Zola loved Lexie so much and she will always be remembered.
That's the story of Meredith and Derek. I never want it to end. I love him so much and I want to be with him forever, but now he's sick and I can't do anything about it. He knows that I love him, but I don't think he knows how much I do. He's my light, he's my friend, and he's my savior. He's my everything.
"Derek?" I ask.
"Mm?" Was all he can say.
"I love you. I know that I've told you that so many times, but right now seeing you like this, I want to die. I would take your place right now because I cant live without you. If you die I die, I can't breathe without you. I can't sleep without you kissing me goodnight and holding me when I sleep. Zola needs her daddy; she needs you to watch her grow up and watch her bloom into an amazing person. I need you, Derek Shepherd. I love you." I say.
"I… love… you." He replies before the machines start to beep.