A/N Another Child abuse story. You MUST stop child abuse! It is horrible and evil!

Poor Harry. He more-or-less has MPD, though not really.

Oh, and you should really read Care? For him?, one of my other fanfics. It's short, sad, and sweet!

And who will help Harry? Well, you know who the most natural person to help is: Snape! Ok, not really, but I like Harry/Snape bonding fics! (-_•)

Disclaimer: Do not own. Never will. Not blond. Not english. Not a mother. Not a writer. Here you go.

Rules Not Followed

Chapter 1

Harry smirked at Ron as he fumbled around for words to say to Hermione. The boy always had his foot in his mouth.

"So, ya know, I was, ya know, kinda, ya know, uh, wondering if, uh, you know..." the red head stuttered, rubbing his long thin nose.

"No, Ron, I don't know. I would like it if you could explain it to me, though," she stated, only her sort-of-tamed bushy brown hair visible from behind the book.

Harry mock gasped. "Hermione not being all knowing? Merlin, the world is ending!" Ron laughed, but Hermione scoffed.

"Nobody is all-knowing, Harold," she stated, her eyes twinkling Dumbledore-like when said boy pouted.

"Do NOT call me Harold."

"Why? Its your name," Hermione laughed.

"Yeah, but it sounds nerdy! Like a book-hugger!" Ron laughed, obviously still suffering from the foot-in-mouth disease.

"I take offense to that," Hermione sniffed angrily. "And it's tree-hugger, not book-hugger."

"Well, you ARE hugging that Arithmancy book right now. You are a book-hugger. And book-lugger, now that I think about it," Harry laughed.

"But she would never be a book-slugger. In fact she would probably create PABS: People Against Book Slugging," Ron laughed, and Harry pretended to 'slug' his book.

"What idiot would ever hit a book?" Hermione rolled her eyes, as they stopped outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"Apparently, Potter. Now move!" Malfoy snapped, making the three Gryffandors glare.

"Lighten up Malfoy!" Hermione admonished, defending her friend.

Ron wasn't so tactful. "Yeah, take your ruddy wand out of your arse!" Harry snickered.

Draco growled, pushing past the three other sixth years into the classroom, Hermione following suit.

Ron and Harry, however, lingered. "Great, class with the Greasy Git."

Harry smirked. "Ruddy bastard. Pretty bad he's one of the best DADA teachers we've had!"

Ron nodded. "A two-faced, stuttering idiot; a squib-like egomaniac; a spasy Death Eater disguised as a one-eyed, one-legged, ex Auror with major issues; a fat pink toad, that finds carving words into people's hands fun... Remus was the only other good teacher!" Harry nodded in agreement, though he laughed at some of the all-too-true descriptions of their bizarre teachers.

As they settled down in the darkly decorated classroom, Harry whispered, "So you're going to ask out Hermione, yeah? The Pre-Christmas-Break Dance is coming up. Slughorn's been batty about it, trying to get Hermione and me to come..."

"I dunno. I don't really know how to phrase things..." the red head muttered, glancing at said girl as she talked animatedly with Lavender and Parvati.

"Understatement of the year, Ronald!" Harry joked.

Ron pouted. "If you get to call me Ronald, I get to call you Harold." At Harry's face turning green, Ron changed the subject. "So are YOU going?"

Harry sighed. "I dunno either. Ginny asked-don't worry, she changed her mind. But if I go, I'll probably go with Mandy or Luna."

"Oooooh. Wittle Hawwy Pottew wikes da smawt Wavencwaws!" Ron giggled girlishly.

"No! Luna's a friend, and Mandy is pretty cool. She IS from Ireland, and I'm not as famous there..." Harry trailed off as the doors opened and their teacher entered.

"Today we will be studying Boggarts... Before any of you imbeciles decide to state the obvious: That you've already taken on Boggarts, I feel inclined to remind you of the many variations of Boggarts," Snape began.

"The common Boggart shows your number one fear; your surface fear. The Demortis Boggart takes away all your happy memories; a Dementor. A Deciti Boggart tricks your memories; it manipulates them, transforming them into something false and unreal.

"The variation we will be studying today is called the Ignotum timere Boggart. This particular creature is the most dangerous, for it show your underlying fear; a fear you don't even know about. This breed of Boggarts delves deep down into your subconscious, dragging up the thing you fear most."

The whole thing sounded freaky to Harry. He hadn't faced a Boggart since third year. It had probably changed by now... But Snape said this was a Boggart that showed their deepest fear, not the surface fear that the other one had.

Harry wasn't sure what his would look like. Probably an Inferi... Or Sirius dying. The teenager hated the idea of having to see THAT again.

Snape tapped a ruler sharply on a wardrobe (strangely similar to the one Remus Lupin used) to quiet the whispers that had sprang up.

"Granger! You're up!" Snape snapped.

Said girl rushed forward, as the class shrank back. After the ex Potions Master flicked his wand, the door opened, and out came...

A girl? Yep, a teenage girl with bouncy blond curls, a perfect face, and fashionable Muggle clothes.

"Hey Beaver," the girl sneered.

Hermione stared, mouth open like a codfish. "Cassie?"

"Just as big a nerd as I remember. But you fixed your teeth... Ah well, you will always be Beaver to me." Cassie paused, smirking at the now green witch. "No boyfriend either, I see. Too bad. I'm dating him you know. Danny-"

"RIDICULOUS!" Hermione bellowed, and the boggart turned back into smoke.

"Longbottom!" was demanded.

It went on and on. Odd disjointed images, strange unknown people, the students either confused (if they were bystanders) or completely sad or terrified (if they were the subjects of the Boggart's wrath).

When Harry's name was shouted, he strode towards the awaiting smoke, the spell on his lips. He still wasn't sure what it would be for him, but he strengthened his resolve and held his wand at the ready... and nearly dropped it when the fog transformed.

It wasn't what he was expecting. In fact, it was probably the last thing he was expecting, given that this man didn't exist to the Harry-Potter-that-everyone-knew's world. This man... He belonged away from here, worlds away.

He was breaking the rules, and Harry felt confused and numb.

The man was big, pink skinned, wearing a suit, and had a blond walrus mustache.

It was his Uncle.

A/N Dun Dun Duhhh. What will happen now? Review!