"Cas? Where are you? We need your help!" Dean called, looking at the sky. "Come on!"
It had been days since they'd seen the angel and no matter how long they called he didn't show up. Dean was sure something was wrong but there was no way to find Cas and no other way to contact him.
"That bastard…" Growled Dean as he walked back inside, "Doesn't he know I need him?"
Cas sat on the steps of the house across from the motel. He desperately wanted to help but knew he couldn't. Being around Dean was too much. He knew if he talked to him he'd blurt it out, and he couldn't afford that. Dean had to concentrate on saving the world. This would just distract him.
Dean paced around the room. Sam was long asleep but he just couldn't lie down. He was too worried about Cas. "Cas? Please answer. You better be okay you son of a bitch." Dean looked at his feet, then back up at the roof. "I can't bear to lose anybody else…."
Cas couldn't help himself any longer. He had to go to Dean. Hearing the pain in his voice, Cas's heart felt like someone was stabbing him in the chest. He flashed to the motel without a second thought. "Dean. I'm here. What's wrong?" Dean turned around and gave Cas his most enraged expression. "Where the hell have you been?" He asked. "I've been calling for days!" "I am sorry. I was… sorting some things out." "What things? You better give me a good answer to this one. We've been working our asses off here and you can't even answer our calls? I am over all this secretive angel crap." "I was taking some time to… think about… things." Cas said uncertainty in his voice. "Well that's great. I'm glad you're you've decide that the time to find your inner self is during the God damn apocalypse." Dean stared at Cas, daring him to say anything to defend himself. "Dean. I am truly sorry. But it was important." "Oh ya? What did you need to think about that was so important?" Cas looked into Dean's eyes and realized that he wasn't going to stop until he got the truth. He forced his face into a disinterested expression and said in a monotone voice, "I needed to come to terms with the fact that I am in love with you."
Dean sat down on his bed and then stood back up. He ran his head hands through his hair. "Arggg!" Cas had flashed out after he had confessed leaving Dean to deal with the fact that his best friend and guardian angel was, in fact, in love with him. "Dean, are you all right?" Asked Sam, he had been woken up by Deans rustling around. "Nothing Sammy, go back to sleep. I'm going to go take a walk." Not waiting for Sam's response, he stalked away into the night. As he walked along the road he replayed that nights conversation over and over again in his head. Why would Cas say something like that, and how could Cas expect him to answer. He was straight God damn it! Doing it with a guy just… A shiver ran down his spine. "But you wouldn't have to have sex with him. You could just kiss…" A voice inside his head whispered rebelliously. No. He couldn't. Just the thought made him feel a little queasy. No. He couldn't return Cas's feelings. He would have to tell him so.
Cas sat on a swing in the little park in the town they were staying in. How could he have done something as stupid as telling Dean? It was a horrible idea! He should have lied. Said he was trying to find a way to kill Lucifer or something. He was going to go back to Dean and tell him he was joking. To forget everything he'd said.
"Cas we need to talk." Dean said to the sky as he sat outside their motel room. "Yes. We do." "Good. You came." "Yes. I want to tell you to forget everything I said. You need to concentrate on.." Cas was cut off by Dean stepping close and kissing him. Cas thought he was going to melt as he kissed back. Dean pulled away and Cas felt like a part of him had died. "I'm not quite at love but I'll give it a try."