Warnings: boyxboy themes (DracoxHarry). Mentions of self harm (cutting). If either of those bother you, please turn back now.
Disclaimer: Characters still belong to Ms. Rowling.
A/N: Happy Birthday Harry, Neville, and of course, the Queen herself.
He had to get out of there. He needed the pain to stop. He tore his eyes away from the back of the messy dark haired boy a couple seats in front of him and raised his hand. "Excuse me, Professor. Can I go to the Hospital Wing?" he asked politely.
"Of course, Mr. Malfoy. Are you going to be coming back?" Professor Slughorn said.
"Probably not, Professor; I don't feel too well. Blaise, bring my stuff back to the Common Room for me?" he asked, giving the other boy a pointed look. Blaise gave a small nod, knowing he wasn't actually going to the Infirmary.
"Sure, Draco," was all he said. He disagreed with Draco's "need" but couldn't talk the other boy into stopping.
Draco nodded back and walked out of the class room. From there, he walked as fast as he could without actually running to the bathroom on the second floor. Hardly anyone ever used it. He shoved the door open, hearing it slam shut behind him as he crossed the bathroom to the sink. He grabbed the switch blade out of one of the pockets of his robe, then threw his robe on the floor. He loosened his tie and pulled up his left sleeve. The Dark Mark was faded, but still visible. Draco took the knife and dragged it across his wrist, letting out a sound mixed with pain and relief. He watched his blood flow down into the sink and sighed. /I don't deserve him; I'm not worth it./
"I wonder what's up with Malfoy," Harry said to Ron as they walked into the Great Hall for lunch.
"Who cares," Ron replied, sitting at his usual spot next to Hermione. He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek as way of greeting. She smiled.
"Who cares about what?" she asked, looking up from her Ancient Ruins notes.
"Harry's obsessing over Malfoy again," Ron explained as he filled his plate with food.
"I'm not obsessing!" Harry defended. Hermione gave him a knowing smile. "I'm just making conversation. And I thought I asked you to stop completely hating him; he takes enough crap from everyone else science the war."
"I know, sorry, mate. I'm trying, I am. I just haven't gotten used to it yet."
Harry sighed, understanding. "I know," was all he said in reply. Then, after a while, "I think I'll go talk to him, see if he's okay." Ron stared at him, mouth open in surprise.
"Close your mouth, Ronald; you'll catch flies," Hermione reprimanded.
"Oh, come off it, I'm trying to be nice, remember?" Harry said, grabbing his bag.
"Alright, mate, see you later," Ron replied, recovering. Hermione just gave him that knowing smile again. Harry turned and left the Hall, making his way to the Gryffindor Common Room. Malfoy had said he was going to the Hospital Wing, but for some reason he didn't think that was entirely true. He took the stairs two at a time and grabbed the map.
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he mumbled quickly, tapping the map. He scanned the names in the Hospital Wing, but didn't see Draco's name. /I didn't think so/ he thought to himself. His eyes skimmed the rest of the map until he found the other boys name. When he did, his brow furrowed in confusion. /What is Malfoy doing in that bathroom?/ He sighed. /Well, I'm going to go find out/ He kept the map and headed for the second floor. It didn't take long and he had no problems running into anyone. He took one last look at the map, took a deep breath, and murmured "Mischief managed," before pushing open the door.
Tears ran down Draco's cheeks as he brought the knife across his wrist one last time. He heard the door open and hastily put the knife in his back pocket, turning to grab his robes, but it was too late. None other than Harry Potter stood in front of him, staring. Draco could tell surprise was written all over his own face and couldn't bring himself to say anything.
"Draco," Harry said, his voice calm but his face worried, "what, may I ask, are you doing?" Draco watched as the green eyes flitted to his wrist.
"That's not really any of your concern, is it, Potter?" he replied, putting as much malice as he could into the words. But his voice cracked on the other boy's name. Harry took a tentative step forward.
"Do you know how bad this is to do to yourself?" he asked, voice full of concern. "Why do you do it?" His voice was soft, caring. He took a few more steps forward. If he reached out, he could touch Draco's arm.
"Oh, don't act like you care," Draco spat.
"I do. This is terrible." Harry took another step forward. They were less than a foot apart now.
"To make the pain go away," Draco whispered so quietly Harry almost missed it.
"Make the pain go away? Malfoy, this," he said, raising his voice and grabbing Draco's hand, turning his wrist up, "does not make the pain to away!"
"For me it does!" Draco shouted, trying to pull away. Harry kept his grip strong though. "Let. Go. Of. Me. Potter!" Harry ignored him and pulled his wand out with his free hand.
"Hold still," he commanded, pointing his wand at the blonde's wrist. Draco watched Harry's face as he healed the cuts. It wasn't a spell he was familiar with. "Unfortunately, I'm not very good, so it will leave a scar."
"Good," Draco mumbled.
Harry either didn't hear him, or chose to ignore him. "What pain?" he asked quietly.
"You... You said you did it to... To make the pain go away... What pain?" His voice was gentle.
Draco didn't respond.
"I knew kids picked on you because of your parents, but..." His voice trailed off.
"That's not the half of it," Draco said bitterly. Then his eyes widened in surprise and his hand flew to his mouth. He can't let something like that slip.
"What?" Harry pressed. "Draco, what is it?"
"I... I can't tell you," he whispered.
"Draco, if there's something I can do... You can't keep doing this," Harry insisted.
"No. There's nothing you can do. Telling you would only make it worse."
Harry dropped Draco's hand, opting to rest his hand on the boys shoulder instead. "I won't make it worse; I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep," Draco muttered, still looking at his shoes.
"Fine, I swear I won't make it worse," Harry amended.
Again, Draco didn't answer. Harry waited silently. "I can't," he whispered eventually.
Harry's hand slowly traveled down Draco's arm to the small of his back, then into his back pocket. Draco's body stiffened, his breath shallow. Harry pulled out the knife and put it in his own pocket. Draco looked up, locking eyes with the other boy so neither could look away. Then, very quickly, Draco leaned in and brushed his lips against Harry's.
Then he pulled away, embarrassed and shocked at himself. "I'm sorry; you probably don't-" Harry cut him off, embracing him so that their lips were touching again. Draco froze a second, then relaxed into the kiss. Harry's hands were wrapped around Draco's waist, while Draco tangled his in Harry's dark hair. After a minute, they pulled apart. "You-" Draco started.
"Yeah. Is that the other part?"
"Yes," he said quietly, looking down. Harry put his hand under his chin, forcing their eyes to meet.
"I told you I wouldn't make it worse," Harry said, smiling.
"Thank you. For keeping your promise."
A/N: Until I just re-read this as I typed it up, it was gonna be a one-shot, but now I think I might continue it... Thoughts?
Reviews always make me smile :)