A/N: Well hello there and welcome to my first Hetalia fanfiction :3!

There's not much to say besides this will be an AU story with content that might not be for everyone. The main events take place in an adolescent psych ward in a children's hospital. Also, there will be no main pairings until maybe later on, though it will feature PruCan friendship.

Anwyas, Warning time!

Warnings for the whole story include: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, different mental illnesses and probably mentions of drug use (whether medical or not). Also, there will probably be some yaoi later on in the story, though nothing major. All you really gotta worry about in this chapter though is a small mention of suicidal thoughts and maybe some swearing.

On with the show!

Ohwait, the disclaimer! I don't own the characters that are used, they are owned by Hidekaz Himaruya, and I'm just a lowly teenager.


Even after everything that had happened, part of Matthew was just glad everything stopped moving.

It felt like for the entirety of his day, things had moved like some entity had pressed the fast forward button on the remote that controlled 16-year-old Matthew's life, while at the same time pressing the slow-mo button when it came to the separate events that occurred today… they had passed by each other as slowly as molasses being poured out of a jar.

Trying to distract himself on thoughts of the days happenings, the boy carefully rolled himself onto his side- carefully because the bed was unusually high and he really didn't want to fall off of it, especially not when there was a person outside his door watching him, making sure he fell asleep. The man was a stranger, barely introduced, but the kindly staff member that had gotten Matthew setup for bed had called the man his "security guard," so Matthew supposed that's what he was.

Security from what though? Something from outside this room, or security from myself?

Feeling saddened from that last thought, Matthew groped a hand on the other side of his person looking for his stuffed polar bear. Locating the polar bear and tucking it under his chin, Matthew gazed at the man through the curtain of blond hair that had fallen over his face... he was looking right at him, but still Matthew felt like the man was looking through him. Would he even notice if Mathew took a tumble? The dark side of Matthew's brain wanted to test the theory, but Matthew was well adept at silencing the dark side of his personality, especially when said dark side was suggesting something that required bodily harm.

Matthew huffed silently and rolled over onto his other side, clutching the polar bear closer to his chest and burying his face into its fur.

Even after 14 years of the bear being Matthews near-constant companion (near-constant because he realized at age 8 that keeping the bear at home might save him from being teased and bullied at school), its fur remained somewhat shaggy and still at a shade close enough to white that it was often overlooked as such.

Because Matthew had been only 2 when the kindly Japanese friend of his mother had bestowed the bear onto Matthew, he had taken it upon himself to name the bear, even though it was a name that Matthew himself couldn't properly pronounce until he was 9. By now, Matthew could barely remember the bears full name, and he, more often then not, made up the last part. Even so, the bear was by far one of Matthews best friends, and this whole damn situation would have been a lot worse with out Kuma-whatsit.

These were one of those few-and-far-between moments that Matthew was desperately thankful for his half-brother, Alfred's, existence.

Bringing the bear along to the emergency room was something Matthews brother Alfred had called a "preemptive strike," (Alfred had been really into military jargon lately) for he figured that pigs would fly before his younger (*cough* by half a week *cough*) brother didn't get a room in the adolescent psych unit of the Hetalian Hospital for Sick Children (commonly known as just, "Hetalia"). Even with how... er... unconventional... poor Matthews case was.

Have you ever heard of someone being suicidal because they had an "Invisibility complex?" No? Well join the crowd. If the mass of people Matthew had to talk to/be examined by just in the emergency room was anything to go on, Matthew knew that a good chunk of his stay here would be spent being something akin to a psychological lab rat. Ah, why did it always happen that the boy who just wanted a bit more attention only gained that attention in its negative form?

And thus was the irony of Matthew's life.

With that sobering thought under Matthews belt, the boy drifted into an uneasy sleep.


Sleep didn't offer much solace though, for the entirety of the night was spent revisiting the days happenings, with the annoying distortion that the dream world usually offered to memory related dreams.

For example, when Matthew first fell asleep he found himself back in his Therapists office where he was this very morning. His brother Alfred was seated in the chair next to him, for he had accompanied him to his appointment out of worry, and his therapist was sitting across from them. When Matthew took it upon himself to scan the room, he saw with growing horror that there was a sinister looking clown standing in the corner of the room, that no one seemed to notice but himself.

Damn you Stephen King, and damn his Dad who thought it was O.K for a eleven-year-old kid, although a bright one, to read It, and then let him watch the movie to boot.

He still didn't know what gave him nightmares more.

Anyways, scenes continued to switch around in the fluid way dreams had, which made you wonder if there was actually anything in the dream before the present moment. At this moment though, Matthew was getting quite fed up with how his subconscious was changing around these delicate memories, and making him relive them as well! It just wasn't fair.

This continued most of the night. And, just because Matthew's subconscious just hated him, it added more and more things Matthew found scary with each change of scene. These things included, though was not limited to, clowns, chainsaws, clowns with chainsaws and leeches. Damn bloody big leeches that could some how survive out of the water.

Waking up in the morning to the sound of bickering outside his room was actually a big relief. It saved him from the scene he had just been in where he was sitting in the emergency room talking to one of the doctors, who had changed into a zombie half way through the talk. He still had the sound of Dr. Edelstein demanding brains in his ears as he blearily opened his eyes, cursing the zombie games his half-brother made him play on a near constant basis as he did.


And there you have it! The first chapter!

I would like to thank Someone's Black Kettle for giving this chapter a look over for me, and speaking of which, you gotta give her story a read! It's called "Conquest 1521", it's a spamano and it is awesome.