You never see Balthazar friendly with any angel other than Castiel, in the series, which tends to leave one with the impression he's just looking out for number one. I think he must have had some attachments in Heaven, though, before, and it would make sense that Anna would be one.


"I want to see her, Castiel. I haven't seen her since she Fell." Balthazar's Grace was in knots, threaded through with worry and anger. "Lemuel won't even let me close."

"What makes you think I can do anything about that? I've been demoted, remember?" Heavy with guilt, lurking behind the mask of his human vessel, the other angel turned away. "Anna is out of our hands now."

"You make it sound like she was our problem, not our sister," Balthazar accused.

That stung. They had never fought before, as close as two heavenly brothers could be. Castiel shook his head and began to walk in the opposite direction down the Axis Mundi. He didn't want to deal with this now, or ever.

"No." Balthazar was in front of him again. "Don't hide from this. Cassi, you were there when she was arrested. You have at least that much more weight in this than I do. Talk to them. Make them let me speak for her. I talked them into lightening your sentence. I can help her."

Castiel's hands curled into fists. "I betrayed her, Balthazar. I called them to get her. That doesn't give me any sway in her sentencing, that just makes me…"

Made him what? A Judas? For serving the will of Heaven? His whole mind ached. None of this made any sense, and his friend wasn't helping him sort it out.

"You were following orders." Balthazar's voice was hollow. He understood the necessity of obedience. Right now he hated obedience, and yet he couldn't blame Castiel himself for what had happened. He had watched a play once, in an earthly theater. Shakespeare's time, but not Shakespeare's work. This reminded him of that experience, of watching the tragedy unfold with no way to intervene for the better or rain vengeance upon the wrongdoers.

"Of course," Castiel said, shoulders slumping slowly. "I can't do any more for her, or for you. I'm sorry."

Oh, was that regret? Regrets are unbecoming in an angel. And dangerous. Balthazar placed a hand on his brother's arm, not sure whether to comfort or continue to wheedle.

"It's better you don't see her," Castiel added after a moment. "You don't need her doubt on top of your own. I don't want to see you punished. I don't want to see you Fall."

The other angel's touch dropped away. "I don't understand why they won't even let me speak on her behalf."

"Because it wouldn't make a difference," Castiel said. "It's too late. We've lost her."

Balthazar stared at him with open distress, struck speechless. Castiel looked back for only a moment, then took the opportunity to flee. His celestial safe haven, that endless Tuesday afternoon he borrowed more and more often these days, would not dampen his anxiety or assuage his guilt and sorrow. But it would take him away from his brother's look of loss that mirrored his own far too closely.

Father, please come back. Our family is falling to pieces.