Disclaimer: I do not own H2O, nor do I own the spell. This one pops up frequently, which is why it comes first, but the example provided was copied from Yahoo Answers.

Author's Note: Every spell used in this fic is taken from one website or another, verbatim, down to spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, with one validated exception. It just gives them that extra little touch of ridiculous. If there are any more that you've stumbled upon, please share them.


Kim was busy at one of her favorite pastimes—going through Cleo's stuff while her older sister was out. Cleo spent nearly all her time with Emma, Rikki and Lewis, and since she and Lewis had become a couple, they barely spent any time at home where Dad could get in the way.

Wriggling out from under the bed, Kim opened up a little wooden box, and looked at the locket inside it. It was silvery, with a blue stone inset in the center. Kim's eyebrows shot up: Cleo always wore this locket. Well, except for that one time with Charlotte…that had been a weird week. Kind of scary, even.

Funny, Rikki and Emma had lockets exactly like this. For some reason, Kim remembered that time she'd thought the three of them, Lewis, Miriam and Tiffany were mermaids. There was something mermaidy about the locket. Shaking her head, she put it back in the box, and slipped it back under the bed. It was pretty, but Kim was pretty sure Cleo would outright kill her if she took it.

Then, almost without Kim thinking about it, two of the pieces clicked. Charlotte taking the locket, then the rumor about her getting superpowers—Ash had almost seen Charlotte holding the three girls up in the air with wind or something. Then there were those nights when one or all of them started acting weird—the full moon. It was always the full moon. They seemed like they were scared of it just like they were of touching water.

Kim sat up straight. Something truly fishy—pun intended; she grinned—was going on here. But this wasn't going to be like last time. She wasn't going to try exposing them in public before she knew how this worked. Still, Kim didn't feel any better about the idea of these secret mermaids doing secret mermaid things right under everyone's noses. People needed to know.

Then Kim got it. Of course: all she had to do was turn herself into a mermaid, too! Then they'd have to let her in on their secret—or she could protect herself from them with whatever powers she got. And she could just expose all of them, show that she was a good mermaid, if she wanted. It was foolproof.

Scrambling up, Kim began going through Cleo's stuff more scientifically. Now she just needed to find out how to become a mermaid. It probably wasn't written down, but maybe she'd be able to find a clue. Aha, Cleo's computer. Sitting down, Kim opened the history, and began browsing for anything connected to mermaids in the history and bookmarks.

Then she heard the front door slam, and Rikki's voice downstairs. Oh no, the club was back—was it a full moon tonight? Kim thought so. Quickly, she tried to speed-memorize the sites on the history, sprang up, and closed the browser. But just as she reached the door, it opened, and Cleo walked in.

"But how long will you be gone?" She was asking, looking back over her shoulder. Then she turned and saw Kim. Stopping, she folded her arms and eyed Kim suspiciously. "What are you doing in my room this time?"

"Looking for a book," Kim replied, as innocently as she could. "Didn't find it. I didn't move anything!" She darted out past Rikki and Emma and down the hall before Cleo could react. Her sister didn't follow her: Cleo was too used to Kim's semiregular room invasions to care. The other maybe-mermaids went in, and Kim went to the downstairs computer.

But as she sat down, her mind blanked. What had Cleo been looking at? 'Mermaids' was all Kim could remember. Legends? Magic? Mermaid magic sounded like a good place to start. Kim shrugged and Googled it.

Twenty minutes later, Kim was resting her cheek on her fist, staring at another page full of links to dubiously mystical sites that spelled "fairy" as "faery" (they couldn't find a weird spelling for 'mermaid'? Mermayde?), digital dolls, and movies and TV shows about mermaids. She was running out of ideas. With one finger, she picked out "how 2 bcome mermaid," and hit the search button.

The first option was someone asking the same question. The chosen answer was a magic spell. Kim's brow furrowed; it looked familiar. It had probably popped up earlier. Huh. Maybe there was something in it, if different people talked about it. She re-read the answer more carefully.

Insouciant inclemency, Redoubtabe mediocracy,Refutable humanity, Make me what I wish to be... A MERMAID. Witchs one,Witchs all,Give this power to me. it takes one months to take a tail,two months to get a power(kinda like the show H2o) . WARNING:one drop of water turns u to a mermaid. u have to something on upper body thats speial to u. U might have some side effects-good singing, get affected by the full moon,etc. u better belive in the spell or it won't work. P.S,I'm a mermaid.

"The show H2O?" That name seemed kind of familiar, too. Kim searched it, but the minute she entered the terms, the browser closed. Re-opening it, Kim was greeted about an error message that promised a troop of trained monkeys to repair the mistake. She rolled her eyes and found the spell again. Good singing and the full moon? Cleo had gotten that weird one-night diva voice during one full moon party. It was worth a shot, anyway.


Cleo, Emma and Rikki were having another full moon slumber party, and were down in the living room. Kim could hear them watching a movie. Normally she would have gone down to spy on them, but tonight she had that mermaid spell to try. She'd printed it out, and had it on her bed to double-check.

The bit about "something special on your upper body" Kim had guessed meant something like Cleo's locket, but then she wondered if her tail would come with a top. Just to be safe, she was wearing a bracelet she liked and a swim top. She cleared her throat, listened for a moment—Kim didn't want to know what Dad would say if he walked in on her—and began.

"Insouciant inclemency, redoubtable—no, redoubtabe mediocracy, refutable humanity, make me what I want to be…a mermaid. Witches one, witches all, give this power to me." Kim shut her eyes, and remembered all the little, weird things she'd seen and noticed over the past few years. This spell was going to work, she believed it would. She'd get a tail just like the others.

That was probably enough believing. Kim changed from her swim top to her pajamas, and crumpling up the spell, threw it in the trash. She had a month to wait for her tail, and she didn't want Cleo or the others to figure out what she'd done while she was waiting. They might be able to stop her or something. Kim grinned, and headed downstairs. Time to see what movie they were watching!


Trivia: This spell's first few lines translate out to "Carefree harshness, intimidating rule by 'meh' people, proving the fact that I'm human to be false, make me what I want to be, etc…" Yes, really.