Here's a bit of a crack fic for ya. I'm stuck on crutches for the next week or so, that also means I'm stuck inside all alone while everyone even my brother is at work. So in the midst of raging cabin fever I've come up with a story. Sort of an other-worldly, God-looking-down and telling the story, Maddie tries to write a Fanfic about the wonderful Cirque Du Freak. But while she writes, she not only has writers block but has everyone around making suggestions, decisions, and fighting.
I sat at my computer desk and opened up Microsoft Word 2007. Scrolling down the numerous titled fanfiction stories neatly organized by Fandom, I opened my Favorite section: Cirque Du Freak. I scrolled down the eight story titles in the page.
"Hmm..." I pondered. "Cirque Du Secrets, Cirque Du Love, Cirque Du Songs, Not Easy Being Green." I almost clicked on Cirque Du Secrets but decided against it. I had too much Writer's block in that story. I went to YouTube and typed in my favorite song Potter Rock Anthem (look it up, best three minutes of your life!). The song blasted from the speakers. I hummed the happy, peppy rhythm as I opened a fresh virtual paper. New fanfiction story for Cirque Du Freak. I nodded my head side to side and stood up. Taped to the side of my desk was a printed picture of The Outsiders. But my Screen saver was a picture of Evra and Darren in anime drawn form. I admit, I hate anime but they were too cute. Did I forget to mention the Mockinjay necklace hanging from a green pushpin at the edge of the lower shelf on the desk? And the pink and white kitten poster on the wall behind me? And the Mad hatter poster on the side wall? I had a lot of interests.
I stared at the big eyes of the little anime Darren and Evra for a while until I got the idea. A corny one but a good one. Cirque Du Fanfiction. Hey, it worked with the series name! I re-opened the virtual paper, clicked the Bold button and started to type the little disclaimer: I do not own Cirque Du Freak or the adorable characters. They are all the wonderful Works of the one and only Darren Shan! I typed a bit about the story Like I do for every story I write I like to give a bit of a down-low that I cant give in the blurb that you click on, or as .net calls it. The Description.:Crack fic- very AU. Darren finds some...stories on a certain website one day at the cirque, Evra hears his friend laugh and goes to investigate. Could this be the end of The Cirque Du Freak or the beginning of a kick-ass time at our favorite Campgrounds? Don't ask where I came up with this, I blame it on too much mint cocoa. Thanks mom...
Now all I had to do was think of a story.
"Psst, Maddie!" I jumped. Who could that have been. No one is in my room, I minimized the screen and to my surprised the screen saver had changed! The original picture was of Evra lying in grass with Darren's head on his stomach. Now it looked like a shot from the Darren/Evra caramelldasen video. Evra, with his hands above his head lost the big cheesy toothless grin, his golden serpent eyes moved as did his mouth as a soft boyish voice was heard.
"Evra?" I asked stupidly to the monitor.
"The One and Only!" I'm here to help you with your story." He said "Just lemme.." All of a sudden it started to move more as in he got out of the caramelldasen pose and tapped Darren's shoulders.
"C'mon man,. We gotta help out Maddie, or she'll put us in a bad fic or worse...A yoai! At the word 'Yoai' the stationary cartoon Darren jumped.
"God I hate that, don't these chicks know there's nothing going on between Me and Evra, or Me and Steve or Me and Crepsley!" The anime growled. I jumped at his ferocity.
"Don't worry I don't write that kind of stuff." I said, a bit shaken.
All of a sudden Evra and Darren walked right through the freaking screen! Like the chick from The Ring! I jumped back, knocking the chair down with me.
"Why so surprised?" Darren asked. The real Darren was here along with the real scaly Evra Von. Evra crossed his arms. I just sat there in the same fallen position.
"Two awesome fictional characters are in my bedroom." I muttered. "God I need to get out of the house more!" I rolled my eyes, causing my insane delusions to laugh.
"You think were delusions?" Evra demanded grabbing my shoulders and lifting me up.
"Uhh..." I squeaked. Darren roared with laughter.
"Why can't anyone take us seriously." If that jerk hadn't published your diary and if some big shot hadn't put it under fiction we wouldn't be here today,
"Evra, I told Mr. Shan to publish it. I thought it would work since we have the same name. They'd know it was fiction." He said.
"If only all these fangirls didn't have dirty minds." Evra muttered.
"At least you have Fangirls." Steve Leopard said, opening my bedroom door to let himself in. I whipped my head and stared at the boy who had a striking resemblance to that sweet baker's son from The Hunger Games. Only his hair was darker and he didn't look as sweet.
"Hi Steve..." I said, glancing at the printed picture of the outsiders where Steve Randle was glaring at the camera next to Sodapop Curtis.
"That Jerk killed my son!" Evra shrieked.
"Evra, you don't have a son." Daren said, grabbing his friend's scaly arm as the snake-boy lunged himself toward Steve/Peeta/Hutcherson.
"I do in the tenth book of that horrid series!"
"What are you guys doing here? I asked stupidly, breaking up the soon-to-be massacre.
"As I said before we are here to help you write your story." Evra said, now sit down on the chair , open that page, and type. We'll help you along.
OMG This made me feel so schizophrenic. But when you look at the picture of the character's from your latest fanfic and ask them for guidance, people may think you've snapped. You know your only really off the deep end if they talk back to you. So even though I tend to look to the picture of The Outsiders, I'm totally sane! And yes the description of Maddie's bedroom is my bedroom exactly, so glamorous I know! Again too much Mint Cocoa. MADDIE LUVS U!