Goggles and Shattered Alarm Clocks

AN: I'm not entirely sure where this one came from. It's just fun. Fun to write, hopefuly fun to read.

Disclaimer: Joss is Boss. I own nothing except Rachel and Yllib.

Summary: Rachel has an absent, arrogant, overly glorified hero of a father, a series of shattered alarm clocks and the occasional tendency to accidentally burst into song. Yllib is the product of her father's failed attempt at cloning himself.

The alarm clock was ringing. Sleep was needed and that damned alarm clock was ringing.

"Shut up!" a voiced growled from a mound of comforter. Punctuating this sentence was a fist, shooting out from the covers and shattering the alarm clock. "Crap."

Her mother was talking about it again. On and on about Captain Hammer. How many times had she heard this story?

"It was late!"

"I was drunk. Really, really drunk."

"He just looked so sad."

"I was young!"

A list of excuses for an absent, arrogant, overly glorified hero, and Rachel's series of shattered alarm clocks and the occasional incontrollable bursting into song.

"Really though. I'm not going to buy you a new one. We're low on money as it is," her mother finished, shuffling through the stack of envelopes. Most of them were probably bills. "We'll manage. Always do," her mother muttered, more to herself than Rachel.

School. Rachel was not a fan of school. People followed her around in devoted slobbering mobs. Another lovely gift from her father.

Taking refuge in the small space between the lockers and the ceiling she watched.

A girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes, thin face and somehow very familiar.

"Yes, dad. I submitted my application to the League this morning," she said into the phone caught between her shoulder and cheek and she carried a large stack of books and paper. "Yes, I included that angrily letter from the Vice Principal. Yes, dad. Yes. Right. I know how selective Bad Foal can be. All right. Yeah. Bye dad," she finished in exasperation. She set the stack of books down on the ground by the lockers and then knocked her head up against one tiredly. Instantly the door flew open pushing her out of the way releasing a series of mechanical arms, green smoke and flashing red lights. A couple of text books shot out and hit the opposite wall of lockers, leaving scorch marks on the metal.

"Balls!" the girl growled scrambling back to her feet. "This is the last thing I need today,"

She began wrestling with the mechanical arms, trying to force than back into the locker. The crowd of people filling the halls that had been shocked by the initial explosion laughed and stared.

"Stand back everyone! Nothing here to see!" Rachel sung dropping down from the top of the lockers dramatically. "Not again! I am so tired of this freaking-The day needs my saving expertise! Crap. Sorry about that. Look do you need some help?" Rachel said quickly before another burst of singing escaped.

"Don't plan the plan if you can't follow through! Uh, sorry about that. Yes. Help would be nice,"

"Did you just randomly burst into song?"

"-Ignore that. Yeah, it tends to happen all the," twitch "time,"

The books were gathered, the mechanical arms were crammed back into the locker by Rachel and the two girls were left sitting in the now empty hallway.

There's a thing about nemesis. They always recognize each other. It can even transcend the generations.

"Doctor," Rachel said staring at the opposite wall.

"Hammer," was the flat response.

"Sorry, what did you say?" Rachel said shaking her head.

"I don't think I said anything,"

"Huh. Well," Rachel said standing up and offering her hand back to the girl. "I'm Rachel. And you are?"


She took the proffered hand using it to pull herself up.


"Yeah. Spelled Yllib. I mostly just go by Lib,"

"What language is that?"

"I'm, um," twitch "I don't know,"

"I heard you talking on the phone earlier. Something about getting into the League and Bad Foal?"

"It was girl scouts!" Lib exclaimed twitching suddenly. "Girl sco- I can not believe my eyes!" she caught herself quickly. "Sorry,"

"No, it's okay. I understand wha- Everyone's a hero in their own way! Agh! It's worse than usual today,"

"Tell me about it," Lib muttered."I need to go work on a plot. I mean a project! Definitely meant a project!" twitch

"Okaaay?" Rachael said slowly, watching the girl stumble off down the hallway, a pair of goggles dangling from the pile of stuff.

Yllib remembers everything from her first entrance into the world.

There was a light. A lot of light and suddenly all of her molecules beginning pulled together and... There was a world, a whole world waiting for, a long with a very confused man in a white coat, gloves and goggles.

"Ah, AH ah Ah Ah ah. Baby. Not a perfect process. Cloning. Should have been a perfect replica, an adult," twitch "Where did the other half come from?"

There was a lot of muttering and cursing and then Dr. Horrible stared down at the baby.

"Baby. Right. MOIST!"

So that's how Lib grew up. Sleeping in the lab, playing with Uncle Moist and hating Captain Hammer. Hating Captain Hammer with a fierce and definite passion.

Her first words had been

"Captain Hammer: Corporate Tool,"

You should have seen how proud Billy was.

Now there was all this nonsense with the Junior League of Evil. The more Lib thought about it, the less she wanted it. World domination had never been her thing, something that must have come from that mysterious other half of DNA. No, she much rather wanted to build and sell weapons and other evil necessities, like web domains, to the take over the world types. She didn't want the spotlight like her dad.

She wanted the little ropes that connected her to those who stood in the spotlight. She could make them do all sorts of horrible things, like advertisements during their heists. Her products would be the best, if she could ever get them to work properly.