A/N: And a wild chapter 15 appears! ((EDIT: Hey guys! Apparently I uploaded the wrong Chapter 11 or is just being weird but just fixed it with the correct one. Sorry for the confusion! It's called 'Date' by the way))
Chapter 15: 'Bed'
"Stiles?" there was a thud and Stiles had just enough time to spin around and almost trip over a pile of books on the floor. Derek straightened up and watched him carefully as though he was trying to work out if it was really him. It was unnerving the way the werewolf seemed to be staring right into him like he could somehow sense the demon's absence. Stiles stared right back because he had seen Derek angry and he had seen Derek happy, he had seen Derek ready to kill and once he had even walked in on him huddled in the corner of the old Hale house looking completely broken. What he had not seen was the alpha looked nervous. He stood awkwardly by the windowsill, arms stiff by his side with his eyes fixed on the younger boy and then quickly flicking away like he was afraid even staring at Stiles for too long would somehow bring the demon back. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in days but just looking at his stubbly face, frowny as usual made Stiles feel so happy he could just-
Of course that was when the memories came rushing back along with the guilt and frustration at being so useless. "Look Derek" he started not knowing if he was going to apologize or thank him "Thank-I-I'm sorry for the things that I said and I-God how the hell am I supposed to apologize for almost killing you?" his voice was getting higher and higher and he hated it but apparently his vocal chords were going to fail him today.
"Stiles" sighed Derek, running a hand awkwardly through his hair "don't. It wasn't you- it was the demon. Scott knows it, Lydia and Allison know it and even Jackson can see it. There is nothing to be sorry for but if it makes you feel any better... the pack forgives you"
Stiles opened his mouth to tell him that no, he was wrong. It wasn't entirely the demon. The demon might have come right out and said it but the ideas... the thoughts and the feelings that had fueled it- those were all Stiles. They all came from him. He opened his mouth but the words couldn't seem to arrange themselves.
It was strange not having the demon there with him. He hated the demon, he really did but there was something about having someone, a conscious being who had heard his every thought, experienced every memory and yet didn't judge him for it. The demon had inevitably used it against him but he had never, not once judged him for any of it. He trusted Derek, he really did but there was still a part of him that was terrified to say any of it out loud.
Instead he reached forward, hooking a hand around Derek's shoulder and pulling him in for a slightly awkward one armed hug. He felt Derek stiffen and then pat his back hesitantly as though he wasn't really sure where his arms were supposed to go. Stiles guessed that Derek didn't get a lot of hugs and that in itself was sad. Everyone needed hugs.
"Thanks" he said, pulling back. Derek raised an eyebrow "For being there, I mean. I saw the scratch marks on the window at the hospital. You visited me, didn't you?" Derek nodded and Stiles let out a nervous chuckle "Still haven't learnt how to use a door?" He watched as the alpha's lips twitched and he felt his own pulling into a smile.
"The lady at the front wouldn't let me in..." he shrugged as though that was reason enough to break into a hospital ward. Just the thought of Derek with his leather jacket and persistent glare walking into the hospital with flowers and a 'get well soon' balloon made his grin even wider.
"No really, thanks I mean if it was the other way around..." he trailed off thinking exactly what it would have felt like watching the demon in Derek, hurting him from the inside out while Stiles could do nothing but watch. He shivered.
"Really?" Derek had a strange expression on his face and Stiles suddenly realized exactly what it must have sounded like. Crap!
"No you silly sour wolf!" he punched Derek's arm lightly and Derek made a half hearted effort to glare "of course I would have visited. I would have stayed by your side the whole time like a-like a guard dog or something" He curled his lips back showing his teeth and attempted a growl which-why? Why would he even- "I'm the alpha now" he continued to tease and Derek smiled. He actually smiled. Maybe the mortification was worth it because that was the best damn smile he had seen in a long time. He really had missed it. However there was something else he had missed. "Wait...earlier on you said something about the pack forgives you. Does-" he faltered suddenly unsure if he really wanted to know "Does that mean I'm...pack?"
Derek sighed and took a seat on the desk chair, dragging it closer to where Stiles had slumped on his bed. "Stiles, you became a part of my pack before everyone else"
"Really?" he asked, ignoring the leaps of joy his insides were making. He was pack! More specifically Derek's pack and Scott's pack and Lydia and Allison and okay so maybe he wasn't a huge fan of Jackson but he was sure he could learn to live with him. Maybe being in the pack meant Jackson was less of a Jackson? He hoped so. It would make all the pack bonding he had just planned out in his head so much easier. "I mean, I don't remember participating in any wolf related bonding rituals"
"It happened sometime after you started spending more time at my house than your own" Stiles bit his lips nervously "not that I'm complaining" Derek added quickly when he noticed the boy's guilty look "you made-the silence was almost too-I..." he frowned like he didn't know how to carry on so Stiles smiled reassuringly. He understood. The silence in his own home had been unbearable. That's why he had spent so much time at Scott's or had Scott come over. He hated the silence and apparently so did Derek Hale. Who would've thought?
"I always thought you found me annoying" he said thoughtfully because yes, he knew or at least he thought he knew that Derek found him annoying. He had thought that Derek only put up with him because... well he didn't know exactly why Derek put up with him. Maybe boredom or maybe he was just fattening Stiles up so he could eat him. The guy had threatened to rip his throat out with his teeth. Stiles gulped when he remembered what else he had done with his teeth- and his lips and his tongue and his hands. No he was supposed to forget that. All of it. He was going to block the past week from his memory because- and then his mind was sending him images and the feel and the taste of Derek and goddammit Stiles.
"I did at first" admitted Derek, leaning back against the chair to survey room. Stiles sighed inaudibly as the inches between them doubled. The memories didn't stop though. "I don't know I guess you just grew on me" he shrugged and Stiles didn't know what was funny but apparently something was because Derek smiled again. What he would give to record that moment and just play it over and over again. Derek frowned too often and the times he did smile were just priceless in Stiles' books. He tried to memorize everything from the easy curve of the werewolf's lips to the crinkles of his eyes. He knew his mouth was open and he probably had a dopey grin on his face but he really didn't care. "Stiles...? You're staring"
"What?" cried Stiles, quickly looking away and hoping again that his voice wasn't actually as high it sounded to him. He could feel his cheeks start to heat up and could only imagine how ridiculously pink they probably looked. "Oh right, I'm sorry it's just that I thought your alpha contract said you weren't allowed to smile and..." that earned him a small frown and Stiles didn't know if he was more relieved or disappointed. "No, no! Carry on! By all means, smile away! I'm not complaining. Not at all just... you should do it more often. It's good for you. It's even been proven effective against grumpy alphaitis"
Derek let out a sound that wasn't a laugh, in fact it was more like a snort but it was a start. "You think I'm grumpy?"
Is that a trick question? Stiles would have asked him a year ago. In fact Stiles was about to tell him so when he realized it wasn't true. Derek was more than that. Sure he wasn't the happiest chap in the world and sure he had days where even the slightest human contact made him cringe away – Stiles used to spend those days trekking in the woods until Derek joined him after taking some time to himself- but there was more to Derek than just his grumpiness. The more time he spent with Derek, the more he learnt until Stiles could almost imagine what the werewolf had been like before the fire and before his life became so incredibly messed up. Almost. But not quite because the more he learnt the more questions he had and it certainly didn't help that the more time he spent with Derek the less he wanted to leave.
"I think you're..." Stiles struggled to find a word for it that didn't make it obvious how incredibly in love with Derek Hale he actually was. He came up short though and just ended up shaking his head. "Are we ever going to talk about the elephant in the room?" he finally asked with a sigh "you know, the ridiculously large one with red love hearts all over it"
Derek tilted his head and Stiles watched his eyebrows knot together "There's nothing to talk about, Stiles" he said gruffly "it's getting late and you should probably get some sleep" he started to get up, avoiding Stiles' eyes and ignoring his spluttering "I'm... glad you're back"
There were probably less insane ways to have done it. There were probably less insane ways that were also less likely to have ended with broken bones but Stiles didn't do less insane so he did the first thing he thought of as Derek made to leave. He grabbed Derek by the shirt and mashed their mouths together. It would have even gone well except he caught the werewolf off guard and Derek's legs gave way beneath him so that they both stumbled back.
"Sti-" Derek started but Stiles wasn't having it. There would be time to protest later. He could feel his heart beating erratically and if he pushed close enough he was sure he would even feel the thudding of the alpha's. It felt good to finally be that close to Derek without the choking dread of what the demon might do to him. It felt good to finally be able to move his own fingers through the werewolf's hair and hear the ragged breathing and small noises that were all for Stiles. It felt good until Derek steadied himself and started kissing back. After that it was freaking fantastic.
It wasn't like before. Derek's hands found his cheeks and the kiss was slow and easy without the predatory hunger the demon had brought with it. Stiles could have stayed there all day, in fact he was planning to because Derek freaking Hale was kissing him. Stiles Stilinski. Except he wasn't. Derek had pulled back, shrugging off his arm as Stiles tried to hold tighter.
"Stiles..." he said and for the first time he looked really unsure.
"Derek I love you and I swear if you even try to tell me that-"
"I love you too"
"What?" His original 'I think I love you, please don't kill me' speech, the one he had been working himself up to present the night he had been possessed had to be tweaked but Stiles was fully ready to deal with any form of denial Derek threw at him. That had been too easy though and it just wasn't right. Stiles wasn't used to things coming that easy. It just didn't work that way.
"I do but you and I both know that we can't-" he gestured between them and suddenly his voice was as guarded as his face.
Stiles laughed nervously. "Why not?" he demanded and if he came off as a sugar-deprived child he couldn't care less because he had been to hell and back in a week and this was just-no!
"Stiles I'm a werewolf-an alpha-and that- there will be other things that want to hurt me" Derek sighed, face softening just a little when he finally met Stiles' eyes. "They'll come after you Stiles and next time I-the pack might not be able to save you" he sighed when Stiles narrowed his eyes "Look, I know you're angry and I know you've been through a lot so why don't you get some sleep? We can talk tomorrow"
"It's not your fault" said Stiles and when the alpha gave him a questioning look he sighed. "You don't honestly believe that the demon possessing me was your fault, do you?" Derek just blinked "of course you do. You think everything is your fault. Do you like hating everything, Derek? Do you like constantly hating yourself? Do you want me to hate you? Is that what you want?" he sneered as Derek looked taken aback and maybe just a little hurt. Maybe the demon had left something in him after all because he couldn't seem to stop. "Well grow the fuck up because no it isn't all your fault. I read about the apocalypse and I looked for the book. I spent hours at the Beacon Hills library researching possible seals and guess what? I found it" he paused for a breath "I know what the seal is Derek and that's why the demon picked me. It was my fault, not yours"
"Stiles maybe we should-" he started to reach his hands out but Stiles swatted them away.
"Face it, Derek, we've already been marked. They're going to come for us whether we're together or not. The demon he- he knows the seal and he'll be back... for you and for all of us..." he gulped, feeling the rage subside just a little. Derek had been watching him the whole time, fear growing in his eyes and none of this was going right. The demon was gone so why wasn't everything falling back into place? He felt his shoulders shudder and then there were arms around him. He didn't push them away again. "Do you know what the seal is, Derek?" he whispered and he felt Derek shake his head. "You" Derek held tighter "You have to kill them Derek. All of them. The seal will break when the Hale pack dies and the alpha has to kill them. We finally have a pack and-" his voice broke off and that was all he could take because everything he had was the pack. His best friend was a part of the pack. He was part of the pack and through him, his father was inexplicably bound to the pack. It would destroy them all.
There were no tears, he'd cried himself to sleep night after night in the hospital but he still buried himself in Derek and breathed. It took a while for it to sink for Derek but when he did, the werewolf pulled him closer and they stayed there until Stiles felt his eyes start to droop.
"I'll protect you" Derek told him, pulling back so he could meet Stiles' eyes. The words sounded like promise. "We'll protect each other- and the pack. That's what we do, right? I save you, you save me and at the end of the day-"
"We'll howl together in the woods" he felt his lips pull into a small smile "can we get t-shirts?"
Derek shook his head but smiled despite himself. "Just promise me something," he watched Stiles carefully "tell me next time, okay? I can't step aside and let you fight it out alone. Beacon Hills is my town too and they're my pack. This isn't just you're fight Stiles, remember that. You have us just as much as we have you"
"Sure" nodded Stiles "and thanks, I'll remember that" He let out the breath he had been holding, shivering slightly. According to the goose bumps running up his arms it was getting cold. The window was still open and Derek must have caught him looking because before Stiles could protest he was on his feet. "Derek where are you-"
But Derek just shut the window and kicked his shoes off. "Don't worry, I'm staying," he chuckled.
A/N: The End. (P.S. there was a lot of cuddling that night)
THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING THE BEST AND READING THIS AND JUST HUGS FOR YOU ALL I LOVE YOU! If there are any questions I've forgotten to answer I'm really sorry just let me know in a review/Tumblr/PM and I'll do my best to answer. Aside from that just thank you all again for sticking with this! Let me know what you think :)