"Jarvis, where are we?" Tony Stark asked his electronic butler, "Jarvis?"
The droid never answered so Tony sighed and glanced around. He was on a rocky coast, where exactly, he had no idea. He had been testing out the extent of the new element powering his heart when he apparently had blacked out. The suit was still working fine but Jarvis wasn't responding. Spying enormous walls off in the distance Tony sighed again and powered up his flight boosters. Before he took off, he heard more than felt arrows ricochet harmlessly off his armor. He turned around to look and was instantly confused. Before him stood five tiny men. They were dressed in medieval looking leather armor and held bows nervously in front of them. Although the most surprising, or perhaps the weirdest, part was their sharp knife-like ears. Cowering in front of him stood elves.
"What is this, did I walk into some kind of comic-con?" Tony muttered to himself, then he released his helmet, revealing his face, "Erm, excuse me! Yes, hi. Do you speak English?" he enunciated slowly. The elves scurried back warily.
"What... are you?" one, the blonde one, asked.
Tony glanced around in surprise, "You... you don't know who I am?" he chuckled, "I, am Ironman." The elves showed no hint of recognition, "Ironman, come on. You know, the scientific and technological genius, Tony Stark? No? God, where have you people been all your lives?"
"Hunter Pol?" a new voice called from behind him. As he turned to greet the newcomer, Tony heard a few grumbled swears. Not real swears, they sounded like those fake swears that teenagers say to make it seem like they're not actually swearing.
"What the hell is that?" a young man shouted, drawing an enormous sword. Beside him stood a midget wielding a strange looking crossbow and another of the elves wielding a staff. In front of those three, was a woman. She stood with a relaxed elegance, not putting any of her weight on the stave she held. She had short, black hair and wore a very strange piece of armor. As Tony regarded her, her grip on her staff tightened and she watched him carefully.
"Andraste's dimpled butt cheeks, it looks like some kind of golem." the dwarf said.
"Ah, more... strange... people. I wonder if any of you could tell me, what, um, where is this place?" Tony asked.
"What... are you?" the woman asked.
"You know, these fine fellows asked me that just a minute ago, do all of you really not know who I am?"
"Not a clue."
"Huh. Well, then, my name is Tony Stark and I am Ironman."
"Iron... man..." the woman said, almost sarcastically.
"Hey, Hawke? Do you see that thing on this guy's chest? That looks like lyrium." the dwarf said, nervously.
"Lyrium? Is this thing a mage?" the boy asked.
"Shush, Carver. So, Serah Stark... is that some kind of, suit of armor?" Hawke asked.
"Is this some sort of convention? Or, or what? Why are you all dressed up like this is the dark ages? And what's with the pointy ears?" Tony could not figure out what to think of all this. Was this some kind of elaborate ruse? Hawke glanced at her companions then back at him.
"I really don't have a clue what you are talking about." she said.
"Oh, great. I'm forced to work with cavemen!" he sighed.
"What is a 'caveman'?" the elf asked, "I've certainly never heard the term before."
"Probably a man that lives in a cave? Am I right, Tin Can?" the dwarf chuckled sarcastically.
"Oh, how cute." the girl giggled.
"I don't know if you all are delusional or what, but will someone tell me where we are?" Tony demanded. Hawke tapped her staff on the ground, rather menacingly.
"We are on the Wounded Coast, about a mile west of Kirkwall."
Tony blinked at her in confusion, "Am I supposed to know where Kirkwall is? Oh, oh wait, I get it! This is the 'home base' of one of those renaissance fairs! Right? Am I right?"
Just then, the group of elves behind him started shouting. He turned back around and saw an enormous man-like thing with large horns.
"Tal-Vashoth!" Hawke said, "Serah Stark, move!" Tony looked over to utter a retort but was stopped by the giant raising its huge axe. His helmet snapped down and he sidestepped the blow, letting the axe sink into the ground. Ironman raised his hand and powered up the flight stabilizer he sometimes used as a weapon. Blasting the 'Tal-Vashoth' back, another took its place. This one suddenly froze solid, then was shattered by the boy, Carver, leaping down on it. Another was writhing on the ground, surrounded by a weird green mist, while yet another had a few arrows protruding from its chest. Tony sighed, what had he gotten himself into?
"Just now... that looked like magic. So you are a mage? An apostate?" Hawke asked.
"I assured you, there's no such thing as magic. It is science and technology." the man laughed. Hawke just smirked at him.
"No such thing as magic? Really, what is this then?" she summoned wisps of magick to her palm and turned them over and over. Tony looked at her suspiciously, then smiled.
"That. Is some kind of elaborate trick. I'm sorry to say, I'm not fooled."
"How can you be fooled by something that isn't a trick, I wonder? Anyway, magic or not, you seem like a decent fighter. Care to join me? I'm planning an expedition into the Deep Roads and we need someone... like you." She smiled brilliantly and Tony was caught by surprise.
"Um, yes, well. I'll have to... I'll have to think about it-Yes, Sure, why not?"