Disclaimer:I don't own BTR

My firs story ever! Hope you like and please don't hate me for killing someone :)

I don't own any songs used.

Sad Kogan, just to warn.


"Kendall." Came a soft whisper that startled Kendall out of his sleep.

The blonde looked around his dark empty room. Kendall sighed and laid back down and ran his hands over his face. He knew who's voice that belonged to. Logan's. Kendall had been hearing Logan's voice all the time since that tragic day almost five months ago. At first, Kendall thought he was going crazy, but then thought it was just his imagination, but there are days where Kendall can almost feel Logan sleeping next to him. Kissing him everywhere. Touching.

Kendall turned on his side and his eyes landed on Logan's empty bed. It's not been touched in five months. It's the way Logan last left it. Even a sweater and medical book was left abandoned on the bed, waiting to be used by their owner.
Logan's stuff was packed away in boxes, except for those two, which Kendall argued that no one should touch, to keep something that Logan last used.

Kendall still had those haunting nightmares. The ones of Logan crying for help. His brown orbs filled with tears and fright. The blood. The screams. The sound of sirens not reaching the scene on time. The scared faces of bystanders, his friends. His own screams. He wanted to turn back the time, change all the events that lead to the accident. Make Logan stay by his side. He blamed the accident on himself, since he left Logan alone.


~Flashback; 5 months ago~

It was a regualr day at apartment 2J. Logan was sick and laying in bed, reading a medical book to entertain himself with. James and Carlos were arguing in the living room, giving Logan a headache. Kendall walked in some minutes after the fighting stopped and sat down next to Logan on the bed.

"Feeling ok baby?" Kendall asked, placing a hand on Logan's still warm forehead.

"A bit. The others were starting to give me a headache." Logan whispered, since his throat hurt and could barely make his words audible.

"Kinda figured, so I told them to shut up."

"Thank you Kenny." Logan gave Kendall a small smile.

"I hate seeing you like this. It pains me."

"I'll get better."

Kendall kissed Logan's messy hair and pulled the blankets up closer to Logan. There was a soft knock on their bedroom door and Kendall yelled a come in. James walked in and smiled softly.

"Gustavo wants us in right now. Even Logan."

"Alright. We'll be out in a second." Kendall answered.

James left the room and Logan climbed out of bed, feeling a bit lightheaded after just laying for two days straight.

"Logan, you are not going. You're still sick and obviously can't sing. You need to rest."

"Look Kendall. I'll be fine."

"No you won't. You can't sing and I'm sure as hell that if you even try dancing you won't be able to breath. Just stay. I'll talk to Gustavo."

"Kendall, stop treating me like a baby. I can go talk to him myself!" Logan whisper shouted.

"Stop being so damn stubborn!"

Logan left the room and Kendall followed. Logan met up with Carlos and James down at the lobby and they started walking out. Kendall sighed defeated and they started their drive to Rocque Records.

"What do you mean you can't sing?!" The beast roared.

"I'm still sick." Logan defended himself.

Kelly gave Logan a sympathetic look and Gustavo rubbed his temples.

"This is not acceptable Logan! You've been sick all week and we're holding back the new album!"

"Not my fault." Logan coughed.

"Get out. And don't come back until you're better."

Logan nodded and walked out of the office. He felt like he was dissapointing his friends, his fans. Everyone.

Once Logan walked out, his friends weren't around, so Logan walked out into the streets and walked back to the Palmwoods. Little did he know, his walk would turn out to be disastorous.


~End Of Flashback- Present Day~

Kendall got out of bed and slowly trudged into his bathroom and turned on the shower, watching the steam fill up every corner. Kendall stripped down to nothing and got in the shower, letting the hot water hit and run down his back. As he was washing his hair, he felt the ghostly sence of someone wrapping their arms around his waist.

"I'll always be with you Kenny, but you gotta let me go." Came Logan's hushed whisper.

"I don't want to baby. You're my everything. I miss you. My days feel like years when I'm alone (1)." Kendall whispered, still feeling Logan's arms around him.

"Lay me down to rest. It's a lover's finale breath (2)." Logan sang softly before disappearing, somehow, his last words echoing through the bathroom.

"Don't go." Kendall cried, letting his salty tears mix in with the hot water.

Once Kendall was changed, he walked out into the living room where the tv was at a really low volume and Carlos was sitting on the couch, not even watching, his gaze far from reality. Kendall sighed and walked into the kitchen.

"Morning sweetie, how'd you sleep?" Kendall's mum asked.

"Barely. I keep having those nightmares." Kendall replied.

"Carlos too. He's been up since three."

Carlos was really taking Logan's death the hardest. He wasn't happy energetic Carlos anymore. He was simply a zombie. James was trying to live on with his life, but he really couldn't, he was missing the short raven haired boy. Camille had stopped talking to them, she didn't want to be reminded of Logan while she was with one of the boys. The whole Palmwoods seemed to have changed since the news was told. The band was no more and they were starting to pack their stuff to move back to Minnesota. Their dream was over. They left Minnesota with four hockey players, but were only returning with three.

"Kendall, I know you feel horrible since your last talk with Logan was a fight, but-"

"But nothing mum. I shouldn't have fought with Logan in the first place. We all knew how stubborn he was and that he was gonna want to go see Gustavo, I should have just let him and not fight."

"Don't beat yourself up, big bro. Nobody knew something like that was going to happen."

"Listen to Katie. It wasn't your fault." Logan's voice whispered in his ear and Kendall looked at his sister and mum only to find them with no expression.

'They didn't hear him. Only I can.' Kendall thought.

"You're right. It's time we all move on."

Even that would be hard for Kenall to do, since he hears and feels Logan all the time.

"I'll only be here until you don't need me. I'm here to fix you."


(1)- Ok so those lines that kendall did, I mashed the lyrics from Avril Lavigne's When Your Gone and Slipped Away together, so those will be through out the story.

(2)- I was listening to my iPod on shuffle and Vesper's Goodbye by Nick Jonas and The Administration came on, it's great song.

So again, please don't hate me for killing Logie, but I wanted to write something different.