Chapter written in the style of the novel "The Princess Bride"
Best laid plans of Eggs and Men
It wasn't that he was an opportunistic weasel, but it didn't mean that he didn't know that Sherri Weston was sitting there talking to Miley … maybe Kylie? Whatever, she was Blondie with a full chest that was pressing her honey hair behind her ear and grinning at him. She was a nonissue because right now the target was sitting right where he needed to make this thing work.
God, he's using mission terms in his head, what the hell is Derek and his mom doing to him? They do everything in military jargon, it was never Can you pass the milk? "It's right next to you, babe." It's got to be. "Right on your three, Cub one." Okay, his mom didn't call him code names at the table, but I think people understand how twisted things were getting at the old homestead. In fact, He and Cameron actually sat doing homework at the dining room table the other night and for the life of him he hadn't seen someone shouting red alert so loudly and in such alarm when there wasn't a Klingon Bird of Prey decloaking outside (Not that he watches Star Trek … or knows what that is.) It seemed to be a big thing to do for nothing more than a homemade pizza burning up hotter than a melting down nuclear reactor. The Drama was high, like a couple of soldiers handling a shifting battlefield, too bad they were overrun by the enemy … cheese. Gooey, white, and bubbly enemy forces spread too thickly over the pie. His mother ever the tactician never took into account the melting factor … you know the important things.
But that's not what's important at the moment. This was what was important, as of eleven o'clock in the morning, on this Friday, in third period. Sherri Weston is now sitting in a spot where he wanted her to be since Tuesday, since they had all been warned this day was coming.
As of right now, John Connor couldn't feel more pleased with himself, because This is what it will take to break the always allusive Sherri Weston out of her shell … if you'll pardon the pun (Oh … we're not there yet. Don't worry you'll chuckle.) Anyhow so there she was, half paying attention to what … Riley? No, that's not it, anyway what that girl was saying to her.
Now why was he so pleased? …
"As you were warned on Tuesday, we've come to the infamous cliché of the egg baby chapter."
(See? Egg, breaking out of her … shell. Shut up.)
There was a mummer of a dozen conversations breaking out as his teacher began to pace between rows of desks handing out worksheets. The educated older black man with just slightly oil stained glasses placed a hand on the young man's shoulder. John looked up, it was only in the interest of his teacher that he hadn't realized he might look a little too pleased with himself, and it might look as if he might not be up to anything good.
"Are you okay Mr. Baum?"
"Something happening I should know about?"
"Alright …" He continued on his way, still looking back as he stalked down the rows, suspiciously.
John was other a really lucky poker player, or Morris was a really terrible one, because he's been cleaning the poor kid out for a month now and yet today it became clear to John that his face was making a non-issue of showing self-satisfaction in his plan. But then if he thought about it, Cameron did shuffle the deck for them. (No Judgments ... he didn't like to lose and Cameron really wanted those new ear rings. Not that she gets a cut of the con or anything like that.)
This is what's about to happen, see Sherri Weston is now sitting in the seat of number ten. There are exactly twenty four students in his class, which is a nice even number for the teacher to organize the partners of the activity of raising your little egg to get to that day when you sit hand and hand and watch your little yoke walk across the stage pick up the diploma … then get scrabbled and eaten. But between that time, your partner is your matching number between splitting the class in two groups of twelve (See how it works?) So why was John so smug? That would be because John was also sitting in the number ten seat on his side of the room.
In a few minutes John was going to bypass dating, big furry stuffed animals at fairs, proposing, and wedding day and go right for the family. A mommy, a daddy, and an unhatched chick make three, and it was all due to the brilliant and strategic mind of …
The door opened and a girl walked in, not a girl that John cared all that much about, not that he had been holding close to his phone and worrying about why she was late for class when she's usually waiting for him to arrive from their last class. (Not that he liked it when she greeted him at the door.) But she's not important to this moment of victory … why is she wet? If someone sprayed her with water on purpose just to be mean to her, he's going to kick their … ass … Never mind.
Cameron Baum stared at their teacher holding her bag and his look. It was customary for her to do this, waiting for him to tell her to take a seat. People snickered, this made John glare, they just didn't realize that she was being polite. Cameron always seemed to have courtly manners, like a princess … No, not a princess, he didn't call her a princess did he? Well what he meant was …
"Open your bag please."
John was startled to find the girl standing in front of him, with the entire class staring with interest at the twins that suspiciously looked nothing like each other.
"Go sit down …" He hissed at her, feeling his cheeks flush at the less than discrete appearance. He wasn't sure why he got so shy and flustered when everyone was looking at the two of them together. Almost as if they could somehow see through him and his (And his what?) …
"I need your bag."
Had she no shame? Why is it she never picked up that when they talked no one should hear them? Why must she be so calm and collected when talking to him in public and he be so damn clumsy, like a man with something to hide? (Not that he has anything to hide, it's not like he dreams about … someone.)
"Why?" He looked around to find him the center of attention, maybe not picking up that he was the one making the scene.
She tightened her cheek. "I was in the showers by myself after gym and some freshmen with glasses and inhalers stole my panties from my locker." Then without asking she began digging through his backpack while the teacher wrote on the board.
People near him began to snicker, John's face burned up and he couldn't hide the awareness that under the skirt, whose fabric was rubbing against his shoulder, there was nothing but supple, smooth skin of her bare …
"Why do you need my bag?!" He asked harshly under his breath.
The cyborg blinked at him, her hand digging through the backpack. "I keep a spare pair in your bag." She explained.
He had no response to that …
"Wait, you what?" He raised his voice and snatched the item out of her hand.
"Something wrong Mr. Ba … um?" The teacher turned and stopped, John couldn't seem to fathom what he was looking at. Suddenly everyone was laughing at him and he couldn't think why.
That was when the teenager wanted to die right there and then, looking in his hand finding a pair of pink satin panties intertwined in his fingers. He froze and now what? Were the elastic bands on the edges of the panties tight enough to strangle himself with? Could he be that lucky?
Cameron plucked the panties out his grasp. "Thank you" She nodded to him and turned to the teacher, while the laughter continued. The man couldn't hide the smile on his lips as he tried not to laugh at the two of them.
"Please sit down, Cameron."
His life was over, when he got out of this classroom, he wasn't going to just be the weirdo loner, he was going to be the weirdo loner who carries panties in his pack, but that's not all, if you call now, you'll get the bonus that the loner weirdo not only carries a pair of shiny panties in his bag, but his twin sister's panties in his bag.
He rubbed two fingers against his temple and sighed … Did he mention his life was over?
Suddenly there was pressure, a weight if you will on his leg. It felt good if you want the truth … very comfy, the counter weight brought a good kind of pressure that almost made him feel better. He sighed and leaned forward without thinking and pressed his head against a bare shoulder, hugging the object in his … lap?
Something was in his lap!
No, not a something, but someone …
The classroom was quiet … why is the classroom quiet?!
John almost didn't want to open his eyes, because he knew what would be facing him when he did. It was a slow realization, a delayed reaction. He was nose down on Cameron's shoulder. Why were all these things relevant?
When Cameron was told to sit down, she had arrived five minutes too late and Mrs. Brent from next classroom down had borrowed a spare chair … Cameron's chair. So you see there was nowhere to sit as of right now. So rather than bother the teacher with such trivial problems like finding a seat, she chose to share with John. But rather than bother John with asking him to scoot over while he was in such a delicate state, she opted to simply sit in his lap, where she thought she would remain for the rest of the class.
She would be wrong.
John might have overreacted, because for once in his entire school career with the cyborg at his side, no one seemed to notice their shenanigans, or that Cameron was making her butt comfortable against his upper thighs, that was until John scooted to hard and the combined weight of a growing young man and a combat chassis buckled the twenty year old school desk chair.
Teen and cyborg collapsed with the chair and slammed to the ground intertwined.