Four of a Kind

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel or Hasbro. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis. L1701E owns his OCs.

One Shot

Leon Maxwell, the red-eyed teen Avenger Crisis, was pacing the hallway. Sam Wilson, the avian teen hero Falcon, and T'challa, the Wakandan hero Black Panther, were observing this behavior. The prince asked,

"What is Leon doing?"

Falcon smirked,

"Oh, Leon's invited the girls over for a talk about his love life."

He called out,

"Hey, Leon! Some guys like having women fight for them."

Leon shot a withering glare before returning to his pacing. T'challa nodded,

"I see. Miss Marvel, Persiana, Spider-woman, and Satana are all coming for this discussion."

The former gang member nodded,

"Yeah. I don't see why Leon can't pull a Wildstar and date all of 'em at once." (1)

Black Panther said,

"Perhaps he feels it is not honorable."

Hercules, the teen god of strength, came into the room,

"I have placed the odds on the board. Now, we wait."

T'challa held the bridge of his nose,

"You are making odds on what is going to happen?"

Falcon smirked,

"Yep. Me and Multiple are video taping the whole thing. We're gonna be rich, baby!"

Redwing, Falcon's pet and often teammate, was perched near them. He covered his beak, attempting to hide a snicker.

Natasha Romanoff, the teen team leader Black Widow, was now escorting the four ladies into the room; Farrah Willows, the cat-girl Persiana, Carol Danvers, the blonde Air Force brat Miss Marvel, Satana, the half-succubus teen, and Jessica Drew, the high-school drop out turned spy Spider-woman. The four of them were all glaring at each other, waiting to here what Leon had to say.

Crystal, the Inhuman princess, looked at the room,

"I can feel the tension from here."

Farrah snarled,

"You three better give it up now, because we all now Leon is going to say he's dating me."

She smugly sat on her perch as Carol, Satana, and Jessica all scoffed. The blonde said,

"Oh, please. You are a walking pity party, furball. The second he realizes that, Leon will leave for a classy woman. And, seeing as how I'm the only one that fits that description, you can all just go home now."

Satana pointed a finger at Carol,

"You, classy? I may not agree with my Leon dating the stuffed animal, but I'm certainly better looking than all of you!"

Jessica snapped,

"You? Between the way you and Persiana dress, it's harder to tell which one of you is the cheaper trick. And Carol over there probably is so uptight, she'd never figure out what to do with him if they were alone."

Farrah screamed,

"HE'S DATING ME, SO KISS MY TAIL!"
Carol laughed bitterly,

"Trust me, furball. If I swung your way, I would be doing that right now to someone that clearly deserved it!"
A fight would have soon broken out had Leon not entered at that moment. The red-eyed teen said,

"Girls, please."

The four girls all looked at Leon and sighed happily. Sam could be heard in the background,

"Twenty bucks goes to me!"

Crisis shouted,

"Shut up, Falcon!"

Satana approached first, pleading,

"Leon, honey, if this is about me being evil, I can change. I don't have to be evil…"

The sorceress then posed seductively,

"But I can still be bad if you want me to."

Persiana practically pounced on the red-headed demoness but Leon pulled away,

"Girls, I'm flattered all of you like me. I do, but, I don't think it would be fair for me to do what Wildstar does and date all of you and string you along. So, I'm going to say this; I'm dating Farrah. She is my girlfriend and I stand by that."

Farrah smugly stuck her tongue out at the others,

"Blah!"

Spider-woman shook her head,

"You must be joking, right?"
Carol was stunned,

"Leon, why?"

Satana snarled,

"The blonde bitch has a point, Leon. Why here? Why not someone with a little more…fire?"
She snapped her fingers, a bolt of hellfire appearing in her hands. Farrah instantly got behind Leon, her instinctive fear of fire kicking on. Crisis braced for something,

"Satana, put it out."
Satana sighed and put out the bolt. The demoness shook her head,

"It's not fair, Leon! You should be dating me!"

Spider-woman scoffed,

"Yeah, right! Leon deserves a woman with a little class and respect."

Carol smugly said,

"Thank you, Jessica."
The arachnid heroine glared,

"I was talking about me, not a Barbie-wannabe like you."

Farrah said,

"I think the three of you should respect my boyfriend's decision and leave him to a real woman; me."

The tension was rising up again and Leon intervened,

"Girls, please. Farrah is right; I know how hard it is for you to accept it, but, please, if you do like me as much as you say you do, then you can respect my decision."

The blonde Air Force brat stood up,

"Leon, could we have a minute to discuss this amongst us girls?"

The red-eyed teen asked,

"Can you promise me that you won't kill each other as you talk?"

The four girls said in unison,

"We promise."

Leon nodded and left. Natasha and the others were waiting for him and the red-headed team leader nodded,

"I admit, Leon. That was very noble of you."

Falcon and Hercules were busy counting the money they were getting. The former gang member smirked,

"All right! One thousand dollars! Jaime is probably making a killing on his end, too!"

Crisis said,

"I'm just glad it's over."

Natasha nodded,

"I think you finally got through to them."

Just then, there was a loud explosion coming from the room. Satana screamed,

"Back off, Jess! He's mine!"

She and Spider-woman were rolling on the floor in a cat-fight, while Persiana speared Miss Marvel through a table. Miss Marvel was fighting back, rolling on the floor, and eventually tried to hit Farrah, but ended up punching the wall instead.

Monica Rambeau, the heroine Pulsar, screamed,

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY HOUSE?!"
Leon watched at the destruction unfold and turned to Natasha,

"Did I really get through to them?"

The red-head replied,

"Not even close."

Crisis groaned and held his head.

End of One Shot

(1) Wildstar, an L1701E OC, is currently dating all the female Hellions; Tarot, M, Catseye, and Roulette.