1635 hours

November 17th

2542

Covenant CSO supercarrier StealthStriker

60 million miles from Reach


What extraordinary fools

This was all Covenant Fleetmaster Solarius could think as he replayed the message over and over and over again.

''Greetings, to anyone to receives this message. I am Princess Celestia. I am sending this message from Equestria. We are a peaceful (static), and we hope your intentions are honorable.''

Solarius, A Jiralhanae, paused the message and chuckled darkly. He didn't know what word was supposed to be after peaceful, but he went with planet.

(Quick note. Solarius looks exactly like a Jiralhanae Captain Ultra, but with black armor)

''Peaceful planet, then? This will be a pushover.'' he said.

Solarius was tasked with conquering any planets he found. So far, all he had found were A: Asteroids, B: Big-ass space Slugs that were getting the munchies, C: Dustballs Not even the High Priests would be interested with,^ and D: Supply ships. He appreciated the supply ships, but the second Space slug he found nearly took a bite out of a battlecruiser, and he was keen not to run into one again.

He was well versed in Human Culture. Specifically, Pop culture. He did this by pillaging a UNSC supply ship and taking a brand-spanking-new computer, and a MAC cannon (Some assembly required). His fleet was moderately big/big/overkill (whichever way you look at it) at 35 main ships and well equipped, having 7 battleships, 6 assault carriers, 10 CCS class Battlecruisers, 6 SDV class heavy corvettes, 5 agricultural support ships, countless fighters and dropships and the crown jewel of his fleet,

His personal CSO class Supercarrier (which Solarius had rather dickishly installed with the aforementioned MAC cannon and Prototype cloaking technology) added the word bad-ass to Covenant fleet.

Solarius sat in the command chair on the supercarrier, which he had named the StealthStriker, and was starting to mimic Celestia's voice for his own amusement.

''Yes, i'm a stupid twit who hangs a 'Peaceful Planet, Please Invade' sign on my empire. Rulers gonna rule. Trollers gonna troll.'' Solarius roared with laughter. ''In fact, I may call her 'Trollestia'.'' He laughed again.

Nearby, an Unggoy helmsman was waiting for orders.

''Do we go for it, sir?'' the helmsman asked. He was amazed. The Fleetmaster was never in this good a mood. He was obviously delighted by Planetary free pickings.

Solarius rose from the chair as he still chuckled.

''Why do you even ask? Set course for this Horsia planet.''

''Equestria.'' The helmsman corrected.

''Close enough.'' Solarius shrugged.


2100 hours

March 25th 2543

UNSC Paris class heavy Frigate Baltimore

9600 miles from Reach


''LISTEN UP, GRUNTMONKEYS!'' Lieutenant Thomas Wilson was briefing his 50 man platoon on their current mission. Most of them were fresh-faced, and had never seen combat. Wilson, along with Sergeant Nilsson, Sergeant Dupont, and Private First Class Mitchell were all that was left of the original platoon, the rest having been retired or having their heads blown off by a Jackal.

''The main fleet has supposedly detected an interstellar call from a planet in an unknown star system. We would've got there sooner, but the morons at Fleet Command dropped it in the proverbial basement, and it took them a while to fish it out again. This particular Star System is at our speed, a week away. I'm not sure if they actually received a message, or if they're just trolling us, but the Frigates Baltimore, Dallas, and Pandora have been sent to investigate this planet, with an escort of 5 Halcyon cruisers. The rest of the fleet will hang around at Reach, and if there's any Covenant shaped trouble, they'll get to us ASAP. We'll be going into Slipspace at 2300 hours.''

''...''

''We also have Scorpions, Longswords, and Hornets. Don't ask me why, but we do.''

''YEAAAH!''


Oh those Gruntmonkeys. They love their toys.

^ B and C are references to star wars episodes 5 and 4, respectedly


Ok, Warping mistake has been corrected. I'm going on Vacation for a few days, so Don't expect any updates for a bit.