I've been busy lately (if you couldn't tell) but I'm going to do my best to post more chapters whenever possible! Thank you all for your patience and interest in my crazy, and probably implausible, story. By the way... I own NOTHING in this story except for my OC's and my plot line. Enjoy.
The Cry of the Sparrow
Chapter 9: Wasted
How long had it been since I had last seen her? Days, weeks, months... A year, maybe? How did time pass so quickly?
I could barely believe this as my eyelids struggled to open to bright sunlight streaming through my windows. Stretching, I got out of bed and prepared myself for this new day. I did my best to keep Brina off of my mind, but it was close to impossible to do so. I remember the first day I saw her, an almost fearless freshman, doing her best to navigate at her new school. Ever since the beginning, I think, she took my breath away. Her face was stunning. It was what most attracted me to her... brown haired, green eyed, tan-skinned Brina. I remember glancing behind weeks later and wasn't surprised to see she had made friends with Barbara and two other girls I had sometimes seen wandering the school halls. For a split second, I felt like the rest of the world was melting away into slow motion and I saw them pass by me. I couldn't help but have a single thought linger on my mind as her retreating back left me behind in the mob: Who is that girl?
I could barely hear Alfred calling me down for breakfast. As my mind registered his words, I ran down the steps as quickly as I could and pushed Brina out of my mind. Whatever relation I was hoping to have with her had passed; all of the times I should had done something to catch her attention had slipped through my fingers like sand. My time was wasted.
I felt a sudden sense of lethargy take over my being after my parents returned from their shopping. I did nothing today; I literally had just gotten out of my bed. So why did I feel this way? I reluctantly helped my parents out but I was mentally somewhere else. Was it from last night—?
My mother's face was a few inches from my own when she said, "Brina." Surprised, my eyes widened a bit. The only word that escaped my lips was a bewildered, "Huh?"
She sighed. "Honey, you've been zoning out on us for the past 5 minutes. See, this is why is why I don't want you staying out so late." Her tone was annoyed but her eyes were sympathetic. She led me up to my bedroom as she told me, "I don't want you falling asleep on your way here." I laughed a little as I replied, "I wouldn't have." But even as I said this, I felt my eyelids fluttering close. I shook my head a little just to stay awake. Thankfully my bed was closer than I expected and I plopped down on it after my mother gently laid me down. I managed to offer a feeble "thanks" before I was overtaken by silent darkness.
I woke up from a dreamless sleep to find myself in my dark bedroom. Any sense of time had escaped me at this moment and I sat alone in the darkness, letting myself steep in its dense formlessness. I couldn't help but wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn't let myself get obsessed with heroes and crimefighting, if I hadn't met Dick, and were born a million miles away from here, someone entirely new. What would have happened if my life had taken a turn for the worse and I became some sinister force instead of the creature trying to stay solely in the dying twilight...
I clenched my fist and returned to reality. Where had that come from? I seemed to doubt myself so much; it was terrifying.
It was at that moment that my mother swiftly and silently opened my bedroom door and smiled down tiredly at me. "Ah, you're awake. Are you feeling better?" Smiling back at her, I nodded. I didn't really feel like talking, and she caught this thought from my expression. "Barbara called not too long ago. You should talk to her."
Rubbing my eyes, I let a small yawn out. "Sure. But what time is it?"
"Wow. I sure slept for a while." I shook my head. Lazy bum.
"Well, I'll leave you alone." My mother rose to leave and I was by myself once again. I called Babs while I opened my bedroom window to let some magnificent sunshine inside. It didn't take long before she picked up and we had a short conversation about maybe meeting up with Karen and V sometime soon; it had been a long time since we all had a girls' night out. I agreed wholehearted. We talked a little bit more about the direction our lives were headed, and, out of nowhere, she brought up Dick. Out of all the people we could have talked about, she mentioned him. I was feeling a mix of infuriation, nervousness and happiness bubbling out of the pit of my stomach and my heart. I felt my heart skip a beat as she mentioned he had returned from Gotham University for a little bit. Before I could stop myself, I blurted the words, "Is there any way I could talk to him?"
WHERE THE HECK DID THAT COME FROM?!
I couldn't even answer my own question because Babs replied, "If you want, I could give you his number?" I could feel myself screaming yes inside, but I knew this probably wasn't the best idea. Me and my big mouth."It's fine, really, don't worry about it," I nonchantly said.
There was silence on the other end of the line for some time. After what felt like an eternity, Babs quietly spoke. "Brina. I'm not too sure what's going on between you two, but if you really want to talk to Dick, just do it. Stop holding yourself back."
I grit my teeth. She was right, of course, but I was still scared of talking to him, a selfish fear of him smashing my heart like he had done with so many other girls and that what he had said had just been a fat lie to get my hopes up.
But, that little voice of hope piped up, what if he really does feel the same way that you do? You should give Dick some credit too. I stopped myself from sighing and echoed Babs, a little forced, "Yeah. I will stop holding myself back. Could I please get his number?" As she recited the numbers and I scribbled them down on a loose sheet of paper, I held my breath, not because of her actions, but because of my bold move, the one I knew I wouldn't be able to take back. I thanked her and told her I'd call her back later.
I stared at the number she gave me in silence, remembering that she told me this was the number for Wayne Manor. I could feel myself trembling from anticipation and before I could chicken out, I dialed the numbers and shut my eyes, praying for a miracle. The phone rang once. Nothing. Then twice. Silence for some more seconds. A third ring, and still no response from the other side. Silence, then a fourth ring. I squeezed the phone, doing my best to control my sadness. This is ridiculous. You're freaking out over a guy who doesn't even like you that way. Just hang up before you get to voicemail. I dejectedly decided to follow the crude advice.
That was when I heard his voice. The angelic voice I had pretended to loathe for what seemed like a lifetime but was secretly nurtured and appreciated in my heart. His voice, a beacon of light breaking through my solitude, saying that simple five-lettered word: "Hello?"
There was so, so much that I wanted to say. I'm sorry, hello, how are you? Can you forgive me for what I've done? When can I see your face again? Something was holding me back, though. A cloud of black heaviness cloaked my voice, shielding me once more from reaching out to the light. It was so simple; the action I was to take. And yet...
Fear held me back. I wasn't ready to fight this battle. I was a coward.
Defeated by fear, I stuttered quickly, "S-sorry, wrong n-number." My retreat was quick and painless, ending the call that could have been the beginning of something more but truly was nothing more than the fantasy of a crazed girl's imagination. The phone fell out of my hands and I stared numbly at the object that connected him and I for no more than a few fleeing seconds. I felt the tears streaming down my face, the cursed salted drops I couldn't make my eyes control, but I wasn't mentally in my body. I was a ghost, watching the shell of another's body ride the turmoils of her life, and I was powerless to ease her pain.
I'm being cruel with Brina... D": Hopefully this will be good enough until I come up with more for the next chapter. Thank you again for your patience. Also, happy late Thanksgiving! I hope it was a blessed day for all and a wonderful reminder for the gratitude we should always offer up to our loving Creator. ^^