A/N - this is for Louise (downstage) who is utterly amazing. happy birthday bb.
i don't own the quotes in this story, they belong to the amazing tv show, being human (the bbc version)
"Oh, you haven't done this before, haven't you? It's okay. Just breathe, and I'll take you through it. Right now your heart feels like it's swollen, it's beating so fast, you're worried it might burst right through your chest. Your body is waited, like it's been welted to the spot you stand in – your hands are sweating... spasming. And you don't know if you're going to be able to hold onto that thing for much longer, let alone fire it. But all this is perfectly normal, because, you see, everything in your body is telling you to fight this; killing is the most difficult thing in the world. Which is why when you actually do it, there's nothing more exhilarating. You play God. And it makes you feel powerful. Invincible."
You're trying to save the world, but it comes at a terrible cost.
People are dying around you, the world is dying around you, but you still shoot lethal curses everywhere – do first, think second. You try as hard as you can to refrain from killing, but this is a war. Kill or be killed.
You're killing and you have such power. You can kill someone with the muttering of two words – AVADA KEDAVRA! – why haven't you done this before? You get to decide who lives or who dies in this war, this battle will be won by you and you only.
Sacrifice is one thing, this, this is pure enjoyment. You step over the bodies of the ones you used to play with when you were younger - how far have you come? You carry on, consequences and tears can wait until later, but right now you want to win this! For fame! For glory!
The battle stops all of a sudden.
"The way I see it, there's only two ways you could know those things. Either you're a man of God, or you're speaking from experience."
You come to your senses eventually. You look around and you see the enemy departing; they're leaving your home alone! You actually acknowledge you're in a lifeless corridor, the last one standing. Faces now pale and lifeless stare at you as you run away – surely you're not the only one left?
The stairs still work for you, however damaged you are. You run to the Great Hall, and stand as many mourn. The dead, the injured, and the families are cooped up in here, and you can't help but fall apart. This is what he's done. He's killed innocent people, why worship him? He'll kill you, he'll kill everyone. Even the most faithful will die.
You're only faithful to one thing – freedom. You have such fidelity in your soul, you won't stop trying to save the world until it's saved. Maybe you're just trying to show the world something, but in your soul, you know that isn't the truth.
It's because you're Neville Longbottom, faithful to the cause until the very end.
"I'm not a man of God."
A/N - don't favourite/alert this without reviewing