This story was running through my mind for so long but I didn't knew how to put it in words... Finally, I decided to do it, I hope you will like it. English is not my first language so I hope it's not too messy...
Thanks a lot to my so dear friend Jayne, aka Iwishfinnhudsonwasmyfirsttim e on Tumblr for being a so wonderful beta reader! I love you sweetie! Thanks so much for your continual support! 3
This fiction is totally a fantasy and it's totally AU even if I tried to keep the personality of the main character.
I want to thank from the bottom of my heart all the people who takes time to read my fic even if they don't follow it or review or choose it as favorite story. I'm really overwhelmed when I saw how many you are! I'm not a great writter, I do a lot mistake and my language is certainly not always easy to understand, but you give me the desire to continue to write! So thanks a lot! And perhaps could you just sometimes told me what you think about my story, to help me to improve my style and the storyline, that would be really great and so sweet! Thanks again!
EDIT : After talking with my so dear Jayne, I realize that some things I will wrote could be misunderstood because of the age of Rachel, so we decided to make her 2 years older than in the first version. So, now, she is 14 at the beginning of the story. Sorry for this mistake.
Enjoy it! ^^
Chapter 4 : Talks and pain
It was two months after the assault against Judge Leroy Berry. There'd been no progress on the investigation because the man didn't talk at all. So, even if a lot of detectives were on this case, the person behind it was still a mystery.
Judge Leroy decided that for now all his family should be protected which is why he asked Finn to take his daughter in school everyday and bring her back home each afternoon.
Finn and Rachel were really relieved that they'd fixed the things between them because having to be together for so long if they couldn't bear the other's company it could have been really uncomfortable. So during these two months, Finn Hudson took care of Miss Rachel, driving her to school and back home while they talked a little about her day or about the last musical movie she had seen or the last music she heard because "definitely, it was the best ever!" Finn couldn't suppress the smile that the ramblings of this teenager always caused on his face. He very much liked this brother-sister relationship he had created with her.
One day, Miss Rachel stepped in the car, put her backpack on her side and kept her head down while passing her hand on her skirt to remove imaginary wrinkles on it. Finn started to drive them towards home and was stunned in front of her silent frame.
"Miss Rachel are you okay?" he asked concern in his voice.
"Yes I am" she answered solemnly.
Finn waited a moment before asking again : "What's wrong?"
She didn't answer, only sighed deeply so the bodyguard continued to drive in silence. Until one moment later Rachel let her pain explode in words and in tears :
"I hate school more than anything else! I can't take those girls anymore! Quinn and Santana are totally mean and they never stop torturing me with their awful words!"
Finn was ready to ask her questions to better understand the situation but Rachel was so riled up that she couldn't stop talking, explaining everything while yelling from the top of her lungs.
"They tell me that I have a little girls body and that I will never change and that I'm totally creepy and that nobody could never find me attractive except maybe the Hunchback of Notre-Dame or the Elephant Man… because of my huge and awful nose! And that I couldn't kiss anybody because my nose will put an eye out and they feel sorry for the poor guy who wants to try and…"
Finn was teetering between conflicted feelings : first he was totally angry at what those little bitches said to Rachel hurting her so much but he was also trying to not laugh at the incredibly stupid things that girls could imagine… how could they be so mean? But he snapped back to reality to listen what Rachel recounted…
"They were sure that nobody would never…want to be intimate with me" she added slightly awkwardly, avoiding the rear view mirror and lowering her head more… Finn was taken aback by her last words but tried to not show anything. "They say that I will be lonely all my life because I'm already too old now so unattractive and that when and if my body would start to have more womanly curves, I will be too creepy and just a crone and won't receive any male attention…"
At the mention of her as already too old, Finn couldn't help but burst into laughter, snapping Rachel's head to attention, her eyes narrowed because she thought he was mocking her.
"Miss Rachel, please" started he to say when he saw her crumbled face, "those girls are mean! Don't believe them, they say absolutely anything and know absolutely nothing! They are totally wrong, please, don't listen to them."
"But…" Rachel sighed deeply before adding slowly : "But they are right… I'm alone and it's scary to me to be alone for the rest of my life…"
"Rachel," Finn cutted her gently. "How old are you, please?"
"14 years and 6 months" she answered hesitantly.
"You're so young Rachel…"
"No I'm not!" she replied a little angry.
"Yes, you ARE!" he shouted, silencing her.
Knowing that this talk could have been done by her fathers but that will never been the case, he sighed to himself and parked the car in front of the usual café Rachel took her vanilla capuccino. He stepped out of the car in the shop and return several minutes later and rentered the car. He turned in his seat to face her even if his legs were screaming for the lack of space and gave her her coffee while he took a little sip of his own. After a few moments he steadied his voice and told her, trying to be totally in the older brother mode :
"You're only 14 and 6 months, you're really young, your body is the way it is not because you're not normal but because it takes it time to grow… there is no shame in that. You have your life in front of you…"
She was ready to talk but he silenced her again raising his hands up.
"I know calling you 'creepy' hurt you more than anything" when he saw her shifting awkwardly in her seat while her mouth pouted more he knew he was right. "But you aren't! You're very beautiful and very pretty for a teenager, I swear…"
Rachel raised her head in awe, while she was drinking in his words. When Finn saw her reaction he reminded himself that he needed to remember her that she was a teenager and he was a man and the only way they could be in relationship what that bro-sis thing. So, he found his worlds carefully to not help her to feed the fantasy he knew she had about him.
"But you're so young! I know seeing your 'friends' with boys could give you the desire to know what it feels to be like them…" Rachel's cheeks turned crimson at his words but he continued. "but you have plenty of time! Rachel, you're a teenager, you have other things to do than already swim in the adult feelings world. Believe me, it's not as simple as it seems so can you imagine how hard and complicated this could be for a teenager like you?"
He paused a little hoping that his words would sink into her heart and head. He thought a moment and finally decided to go on :
"You know, Rachel, you need to take your time to grow up. Wanting always to go further when you're not ready could have terrible consequences on your life, the sort that you can't fix no matter how hard you will try. If those girls are ready to hang out with boys and even have sex with them… fine! Even if I'm sure they're not ready but they do it to seem cool and to be accepted by the others… but do you know how hurt they really are? Sleeping with random guys or girls isn't an easy way to live for adult and it's certainly not a good one for young people… The first time is something unique, something you could never forget so it should be with the right person at the right moment… no pressure, no worries, no regrets! That's the most important. And you have to love this person with all your heart, right, but also your body must be ready! Excuse-me but a 14 and 6 months girl's body doesn't seem ready to me… and for the Law too, that's why the Law protects teenagers from having such an early sexual relationship… And first time is too important not only in a girls life but in a guys life too, even if they say the opposite. So, please Rachel, take your time to be ready and don't give yourself to someone you don't really love or don't really trust… and if you have to wait for a long time, that's okay, because the longer you wait, the better your choice will be because of your maturity. Take your time!"
Rachel was literally drinking his words, keeping them in her heart for always!
"Please, Rachel, take your time to be ready and don't give yourself to someone you don't really love or don't really trust… and if you have to wait for a long time, that's okay, because the longer you wait, the better your choice will be because of your maturity. Take your time!"
She knew she will never forget those words… she already knew with whom she wanted to be for her first time… and she couldn't believe that he was actually begging her to wait a little longer before doing it and in the way he begged her, she was sure he wanted to be the one. Her heart melted at her thoughts… she already knew he was the one and she was ready to wait as long as she would to have to in order to have him! "Fine, I will be waiting for you, forever if I have too but we will be together" she said to herself, lost in her fantasies imagining him coming to her door at her New York apartment with a wonderful bouquet of flowers, sweeping her in his arms as soon as she opened the door and kissing her senseless until her last breath while saying "It was you, it had always been you! Rachel, you're the One!"
"Perfect!" she breathed out, a large smile along her face while her eyes were unfocused.
"What?" asked Finn confused snapping Rachel back to reality. She blushed even more if it was possible and shook her head back and forth mumbling "Never mind."
Finn looked at her awkwardly for an instant and added : "I don't say that to hurt you, Rachel, but I saw one person I really liked doing those things and she was totally devastated and she put herself in so many situations that nobody could save her… even me…"
Rachel was really surprised when she saw how sad Finn was after saying that to her. It was like all the weight of the world was on his shoulders. She tried to ease the tension by asking :
"I promise you I will think before doing something stupid like that."
He smiled sadly at her, and she took it as encouragement : "I could possibly talk about this with you before doing it…" she added lost again in her thoughts.
Finn shifted on his seat and answered : " You know, it's a really private thing… You probably couldn't talk about this with me…" He definitely didn't want to know that, he was ready to help her but knowing about her sexual or private life wasn't a thing he could handle, he was sure of it!
She saw his embarassment and smiled to herself while he changed the subject :
"You know, you could find other things to think about… You don't have too many responsibilities for now so you could enjoy your time and have fun like you should do at your age."
"Yes I would love that but how? Quinn and Santana are always together, hanging out with their boyfriends and kissing them all the time when they are not in school… and I am very busy with all my dance and music lessons… what could I do?
"Maybe you could work a little less and play a little more…" he said thoughtfully.
"Perhaps you could say that to my dads" she added in a chuckle.
"Have you ever been bowling?" he asked his face shining at this thought.
"Do you want to try?"
"Yeah, why not…" she said like she didn't care while she was beaming inside hoping he was inviting her to go out.
"Maybe you could ask your dads…" "Yes?" she was thinking, waiting so much for his last words. "to go to with you, like in a daddy-daughter night…"
She deflated instantly… these were definitely not the words she wanted to hear. She pouted for a moment responded with a "Yeah… maybe…" with a total lack of enthusiasm.
Finn revved the car and drove them home. He let out her in front of the door and waited she stepped in the house to go to the garage.
As soon as Rachel was in the hallway, she got to the living room where she knows she will find her Daddy, her Dad Leroy wouldn't be home for almost 3 hours… Talking with Hiram had always been easier than Leroy because he was gentler and a bit more understanding as well as less temperamental than his husband. So, Rachel decided to ask him, trying to get him on her side cause even if she would prefer to go with Finn, having a family night with her dads was an idea she was excited to do!
She stepped quietly in the room and suddenly leaned to her daddy's shoulders giving him a huge hug while he jumped in surprise.
"Sunshine! I didn't hear you come in." His laugh joining his daughter's.
"I wanted to surprise you, Daddy!"
"You did it my love! But be careful, you could give me an heart attack."
"Daddy" Rachel continued with a more serious voice. "I wonder if it will be possible that you, Dad and me could go to bowling one of these evenings…" she said that in one breath nervous of his answer.
"Bowling? Why would you go to bowling? It's so… common. It's so… not you!" said her father surprised.
"Well… I really want to know what it's like to be 'common' for once. Please, Daddy, say yes! It's important to me, really important, please, say yes!" Rachel couldn't believe that when she begged her father she really was thinking it. Usually, when she threw a tantrum, she was more interested in the fact that they gave up their decision to please her than to really obtain what she asked about. But this time, she really wanted to go to bowling and she really hoped they would love to come with her.
"Darling, you know how busy your Dad is. I'm not sure he could abandon his work at home to go out all an evening to go to… bowling." He said the last word reluctantly.
"But Daddy, it will be only for a night… He works all the time, can he do this for me one evening?"
"Rachel, your Dad's work is really serious! It's important! You must respect it and respect that your father works so hard to keep this city at peace and give you enough money to pay all the lessons you take!" Rachel felt how nervous her Daddy had become and she knew she should let up but she couldn't.
"Maybe I could take less lessons and Dad could work a little less because of that…"
"Rachel? Can you tell me where you find all those insane thoughts? You want to be the one, the most talented in the world, so, you NEED to take all these lessons and you NEED to work as hard as you can! That's all you wanted this since you were a little child and…"
"Really?" When she saw the hurt and disappointment in her Daddy's face she instantly regretted saying anything. Even if she really thought it, she had always sworn to herself to not say it except when she would be old enough to make her own decisions.
"Rachel, please, go to your room now. I can't talk to you about this anymore right now."
"In your room… NOW!" This was the first time ever that Hiram yelled at her. She couldn't believe it… she turned her heels to him and ran to her room, crying all her rage and pain in her pillows.
Later this day, when it was dinner time, Rachel stepped down the stairs and took her seat silently. Her Dad give her a wide smile and continued to talk to her Daddy who would not even look at her. During the entire meal, she tried to figure out how to broach the subject but she was scared of her Daddy screaming again. But, finally, she opened her mouth :
"Dad, can we go to bowling Saturday evening, please? I want to go to with you two!"
"Rachel" his Daddy's said his voice high-pitched.
"Bowling? Really Rachel?" laughed Leroy. "Don't you think we have anything better to do than that?"
"Dad, please, please, I know you're busy but I really want to go, please."
"Rachel, we already talked about that and I told you what I thought about…"
"What?" asked Leroy a little more nervous. "Rachel, your father already said no and you dare to ask to me in front of him?"
"Dad, I'm sorry, but it's really important… I really want to…"
"That's enough, young lady!" spat Leroy really angry this time. "Your daddy said no and I say no too!"
"But I want so much to spend time with you two! I love you sooo much!" added Rachel, pouting. She knew that saying that will soften the both of her dads and it worked.
"Sunshine" her Daddy told her, "we eat each night together and we take our breakfast together and the night we are all in the living room except if you have song or dance to practice… we are together a lot."
"Yes, but we don't do things together. I want to go out with you…"
"We do! When we have parties or events or…"
"That's only for work and I don't really see you in those moments…"
"Rachel, that's part of your Dad's work and we already talked to you about this!"
"Yes, but maybe… if Dad can't go out because of his work… you could go with me, Daddy…" Rachel beamed when this thought came to her mind. She had found the solution!
"Are you insane, Rachel? Really, I don't recognize you tonight!" yelled her Daddy. "You already know that I never go out without your father and your father never goes out without me either…"
"But you do when you go shopping or to your gym…"
"You know that's not the same! I don't go out in the evening…"
"Stop it right now!" Leroy didn't have to resort to crying or other tactics be heard and obeyed as soon as he spoke to his daughter and his husband. "Hiram, for tonight, don't say another word to her she doesn't deserve it!" His husband lowered his head sadly, not liking when Leroy punished their daughter. "You, young lady, go to your room right now, for the three days to come I want you at home as soon as your lessons end and I don't want to hear one word. At the end of this three days, you must apologize to your Daddy and me or I will be really much strict with you. You're completely ungrateful for all the things we do for you so, fine, for the next three days we will do nothing for you. Now, go to your room and I don't want to hear anything!"
Rachel stared unbelieving at what happened in front of her eyes. It was the first time that her Dad was so strict with her! She was so heartbroken… she only wanted to be with them, to do things with them and they reacted so harshly with her.
She obeyed and once she was in her room again, she sat on the side of her bed, incapable of crying because for the first time in her life, she felt totally empty inside like if a hole had appeared in her heart consuming her little by little… why her Dad could be so heartless with her when all she wanted to do was to love them more?
She took her ipod and her earphones and listened sad songs crying in her pillows as softly as she could to not be overheard. She didn't sleep a lot that night too consumed by her pain to find rest.
When Finn drove her from school to home the following afternoon, he asked her if she was going bowling with her father finally. She answered blankly making him raise his eyes to the rearview mirror to catch her eyes and felt a shiver along his spine when he saw the sadness of her look : "Maybe never… work is more important than me and I'm punished for three days for even mentioning it… "
His own heart broke when she painfully smiled at him, fighting desperately against her tears : "thanks for your help anyway, it could have worked…"