((Disclaimer: I do not own 'Fullmetal Alchemist'. 'Fullmetal Alchemist' belongs to 'Hiromu' Hiromi Arakawa.))

Roy Mustang

Assigned: A 9 month old infant.

Hair colour: Fawn brown.

Eye colour: Caramel honey hue.

Name:?

Occupation: Professional tantrum thrower.

Placing the screaming child down on the floor of his home, swaddled crudely in a ragged blanket, Mustang bobbed down and fiddles with his hands nervously.

"Why me?" He muttered to himself under his breath. "Why do I get the baby?" The child must've heard him; in response he kicked off his blanket and rolled around on the floor. This couldn't have been very healthy for a baby, considering Roy Mustang's lack in home-keeping skills. Thick blankets of dust, and the occasional food crumb, began to attach itself to the infant's white jump suit. "What do you want kid?" Mustang pled desperately. His continuous wailing, of two hours, was really starting to drive the Colonel to the edge. "It's time for desperate measures." Roy decided and dived for his telephone. Dialling the familiar number of his trusted work make, Mustang fiddles with the telephone's connection cord. "Come on, come on." He muttered impatiently as it rang, once, twice…

"Hello?" A voice cackled. With a muffled cough, the phone came to life. "Sir, you know that I can't assist you in this training."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Lucky guess – I can hear crying in the background sir." Roy flinched, chewing on his lower lip.

"Hawkeye please, you gotta help me. I was greedy, I never should've agreed to this. I only wanted a raise; I'm no Daddy like Hughes." Mustang whimpered, subconsciously folding his hands, as if the Lieutenant Colonel was in prayer. "This kid's driving me insane. He won't stop crying." Straining his ears, he said into the mouthpiece: "I don't hear your little angel crying." There was a brief pause. Before the Lieutenant spoke again.

"I apologise sir. But your final assessment of this branch will not be recorded if I help you. That's against the tablature-"

"I don't care, make him stop!" As if on que, Roy's assigned child screeched louder, like a dying, tortured bird. "Hawkeye?" He called as a beep whined against his ear. "Hawkeye?" Gripping the phone hard, until his knuckles went white, Roy sucked in a deep breath. "Riza?!"

CRASH!

Roy's eyes narrowed as he looked to his left and swore loudly.

.

Jean fidgeted as cold eyes bore into him. Quivering, the second Lieutenant sucked on his tongue and sat down in his large-arm chair, second hand. Things weren't good, his kid was deadly quiet, poised and conducted everything he wasn't.

"Do you need something kiddo?" The child shook her head. "Wanna tell me about yourself?"

"No," the poised child said, voice low, gaze piercing. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

"Okay then," Jean tried to laugh, but found that his throat was dry. "Your parents taught you well."

"I never knew my parents." The little girl seethed, clenching her fists. The quiet atmosphere of Havoc's home rung in his ears.

"I'm sorry." Jean said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. "To make up for it," he gestured to the door. "You can play with my girlfriend, she's-"

"That's a lame apology Havoc." Jean sweat-dropped and reached across to the left, were a little table stood wearily. The girl's eyes followed the movement, a frown creasing her brow. "Ms Hawkeye said you were not to smoke whilst I am under your guidance." Jean trembled, a wobbly smile littering his lips. He really wanted a smoke right now, in this stressful moment. "Besides, you will get pnuemonoultramicroscopicsili vivolcanoconiosis." Jean Havoc's jaw dropped at the huge word. Stress slapped him hard across the cheek as he forced himself to meet the girl's eyes.

"How old are you kid?" The small child nodded her head, black sweeping pigtails tickling her cheek, blue eyes as piercing as a blade.

"I am of six years, Havoc."

((Review, I need the encouragement. First real chapter – I feel stressed now – I got followers. A mega thankyou to all my reviewers and followers, you all made this chapter possible, and as a novice, I have never received so much support in my life. Thanks guys ~ Sakura Mochi.))