Neon Genesis Evangelion and all related characters, concepts, etc., are
property of ADVision and Gainax. I only *wish* they were mine.
This is a Re-write of my first stab at an Evangelion Fic.
OK For those who just wanted an EVA-ONLY story which some of you had e-mailed me to and given me constructive reviews on
the subject. Well here is that A/U without any crossover, cross my heart!
There will be slight differences from the first chapter, but more pronounced as we pass chapter 5.
But, I don't see this pass10 chapters so we'll see. Enjoy and as always I welcome Reviews as long as they are constructive!
Thanks to Andre Laval for prereading this revision!
Oh, before I forget, John Brown will be doing a sequel to the original, so keep an eye out for it!
Bonds of Love and Survival-OVA
Chapter #1: Awakenings
Third Impact has occurred!
You were there floating in front of me, in the LCL fluid we occupiedduring the event called Third Impact.
We locked our eyes and saw into each others hearts. I knew then, that I loved you Rei, or Lillith.
But I knew. felt the spirit I had known as Rei Ayanami was the one I had wanted within my heart.
Whatever happened I knew that wouldn't change.
I also was thinking of another, a red headed demon who through all her tirades and abuse had the other half of my heart.
I loved her at first sight, yet that would filter into my mind till now, when I realized my responsibilities here, and mu punishment meant that neither of them would be with me. It wouldn't be fair.
You acknowledged me and my thoughts with a shake of your head, a smile, and mouthing "I know" to me.
That startled me, I knew what had to happen, yet you saw what I desired
You saw what I wished, as we both in this Third Impact decided man's fate as well as my own on this earth.
I wanted them to be ... as individuals. I didn't want the wholeness that a collective existence would bring.
I didn't agree with my father or any other powers that be. I fervently believed in my guilt of what had happened though.
So I chose to go back to the devastated and desolate earth. While I asked that all should stay in their fatasy worlds
as I accepted this fate I had thought was deserved. But in the back of my mind, I still thought of them both.
I just wanted to go home and be with them. That was all I really wanted, but I had my punishment to live
through ... alone, and that's what I thought as I suddenly heard the ocean and the small of salt,... and LCL.
As I awoke to gaze at an unnaturally reddish sky, I realized that I
was on a beach.
I clawed my hands in the sand to confirm what I heard,
and brought a hand ful of sand to smell it and feel it's tecture.
Though the scent of salt in my nostrils, and the surf pounding the shore gave me
a clue as to where I was, I also smelled something sickly familiar, ... LCL.
The smell of blood so familiar, was also interlaced with the salty sea
breeze I smelled.
As I gathered myself up from my prone position, I noticed a reddish form next to me.
There lying next to me seemingly asleep, was the first of my loves.
Asuka was in her plug suit lying there with what looked like obvious wounds to her arms and legs,
as well as one on her lower abdomen. ("The attack by the MP-Evas, oh god this is the result?") I asked myself.
But only one was bandaged tight. Her whole right arm was covered in a white bandage that stretched from her hand to her shoulder.
As I looked closer for signs of life, I saw the rhythm of her soft breathing as her chest went up, and down.
Suddenly all the images and feelings from my experiences of Third Impact came back in a whirlwind that and clouded my thoughts and actions.
I then suddenly found myself straddling her midsection ... and strangling
her! In my mind, these actions didn't register as real.
Just another of those false illusions that I saw before. Maybe I'm still in Third Impact.
Then I felt it. A warm touch on my cheek. Asuka had her hand on my cheek looking with the one blue eye not covered by a bandage. It finally registered, she was real, she wasn't dead. I then knew this was real.
I fell onto her crying, convulsing and not believing I had almost killed her.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," was all I heard followed by her vomiting.
I didn't look back as I got up and ... ran away. It seems that old habits die hard, as i stopped at her shout!
"Shinji, please, I.. I can't get up. I ... need help." Then as I hesitated,
debating whether I should go back, she ranted.
"Get you butt back here you baka, I need you!"
The "I need you" came out differently than the rest of her rant. Like something caught in her throat.
I turned around, she was lying there turned half was towards me in pain. Her face showned her anguish and need.
She had to lie partially on her injured arm to yell at me. I quickly rushed back at her pained statement and expression..
"Asuka, I'm sorry I just ... panicked. I ... " was all I could
say as I carefully moved her away from
the surf, and her now evacuated LCL. She didn't say anything, just nodded her head as I moved her.
After a few minutes, as we leaned onto an out cropping of rock next to the beach, I waa rubbing her back as a way of helpingher keep her stomach in her body as we then took in our surroundings.
In front of us was a blue sea, with a reddish band right off the edge
of the beach.
Overhead was a ribbon of red encircling the earth in a cirular angle as if a ring like around saturn,
but much smaller and souly red in color. I shuttered at it knowing what was it's contents.
Then, to either side of us we observed the devastation what we surmised was the remains of Tokyo-3.
It was now a huge hole that seemed to stretch to the center of the earth. It seemed to us that we were alone.
But that tingle in the back of my mind stirred at that thought, trying to achieve it's goal saying to me,
"No your not ... alone." in a stoic calm way. which reminded me of ... her. I knew this was true, she would come soon.
That made me smile. "What are you smiling at Baka?" Asuka was asking in a questioning though not with the usual burtish tone
in her voice.
I thought of what to do next, I thought I go and scout around for food,
and some sort of transport since I knew by now Asuka couldn't crawl very far let alone walk on her own.
I then knew I had to step up and take care of her and get her well. I owed hwe that at least.
After some further discussion, I gathered a large piece of wood for her to handle as a weapon
and I left to search for food, shelter and clothing.
As I found myself on the outskirts of the remains of Tokyo-3. I found
to my delight that the stores that weren't either obliterated by Lillith's
assention or crumbling by the time water and wind, some there still had
food, and clothing which were still usable.
Then I founda working Quad-trac (The four-wheeled off road motorcycles) and found a wagon to hitch it to. I was extatic as Now we hand transportation, food, and clothing to change into that didn't reek of the smal of LCL.
I first gathered exactly what we needed, from the stories that hadn't collapsed and started back within a few hours since I left Asuka.
She had gathered some more pieces of driftwood and started a small fire by her self, injured as she was. That determination was showing through, Asuka was slowly getting herself back together again
It made me so proud of her tenacity and sheer force of will. Something I hadn't seen since before the Fifteenth angel, and of course
the battle with the MP Evas. That brought a shutter to me at those horrible memories.
What I had remembered of what remained of her, almost made me barf right there. I stopped the bike to calm down and collect my thoughts. I tried to remember that which made Asuka special, only to remember my failures with her.
Hw I couldn;t save her from those ugly Mp-Evas, how I couldn;t save her from the fifteenth angel, then what I did in the hospital room. What a scumbag I was thinking she'd even think of me as anything but a perverted little slug. I sermised that I'd just be helping her recover than as other came back, I would quietly leave and find my own way. It would be better that way, she'd have a chance to find someone worthy, not like me!
I sighed then situated the supplies, and at Asuka's insistence, I left
her to cook our first meager meal, and
returned to the stores I found to get some bedding and camping supplies and a mattress
which I had seen undamaged at a store front. I gathered a bunch of pillows and bed linens and blankets
from a furniture store and lined the wagon with it to carry back to Asuka.
I hooked up a second wagon with the rest of the provisions. I resolved to cherish the time I would have with her,
but already half my heart was breaking, knowing I had already lost her before I had a chance.
As I headed back to Asuka, I passed by the three lakes made by the destruction
of the sixteenth angel,
.... and Unit-00. A reminder of the other love I had lost, ... twice.
I swallowed hard at the merories she had cause to awaken in my mind. Her wistful smile after the fifth angel, her sacrifice with the Sixteenth, The look on her face when I refused instrumentality, and my need for her here. But that was not to be she wasn't here,
... or so I thought.
As I had ridden this trail twice before I did notice the difference
as I saw something lying on the beach
a few hundred feet down the farther side of the beach. If I hadn;t glanced that way that moment, I would have missed it.
Now I knew Asuka though not saying itout loud was very anxious to be left alone for so long,
so I was hesitant to investigate the discrepancy on that beach. But something drew me there, toward that discrepency.
As I drove the bike closer, I couldn't imagine it happening again.
There lay an unconscious figure naked. It was human, and definitely female with dark bluish hair.
As I approached her, I saw that she had injuries that mirrored Asuka's almost exactly..., she looked familiar
While Asuka's right arm was bandaged, her left arm was similarity bandaged.
I also noticed she had the same exact wounds on her body as Asuka, but on the opposite side of her body.
I thought about this as I ran to her. Then a sense of dread. What if all I find is her dead body. I couldn;t accept someone coming back only to die! Then I finally saw her face, ...it can't be, but there was an unconcious Rei Ayanami.
But I had to see if she was alive. I stopped for a second, reliving both their deaths, ... both done for me.
But, ... I continued in the hope that I wouldn't have to see her dead again.
She was, ... ALIVE!
She had a pulse, so I gathered her up in my arms and placed her on one
side of the wagon,
on the pillows and covered her in the blankets. Then we started back towards where I had left Asuka.
As I started the motor, she stirred. I shut the bike down and moved back to where she was.
She looked up at me ... at first confused, then a beautiful smile came on her face.
I hugged her and told her how much I missed her. She hugged me back with as much effort as she could with her one good
arm. A tear also traced a path from her one red uncovered eye. She even had her left eye covered. Asuka had her right one
covered. Oh god Asuka, what would she do if she knew Rei was alive! I became worried as I filled Rei in on our current
She frowned for a second when I told her Asuka was alive, but that soon faded.
I informed her that we had better get going or Asuka will have a coronary.
She nodded yes and laid down in the linen covered wagon.
As I was navigating the bike and wagons through refuse covered land
back to the beach, I still was troubled.
Would Rei stay with me of her own free will? If I gave her the choice, would she stay, or leave?
I had now more doubts as to whether this would work at all. But I carried on more for their sakes than mine.
As we were getting closer to Asuka's position, I became more and more
What would Asuka's reaction be to Rei being alive? Would she actually try to hurt her?
I was becoming so nervous, I almost ran into the last lake just before the rise where just beyond laid Asuka.
I smelled food being cooked. Again she surprises me with overcoming adversity again in her own indomitable fashion.
Then it hit me. She might kill Rei. I finally made a decision. One that I would later regret as one that almost cost me both of
I stopped far enough away I figured to be able to talk to Rei of what
I sat on the edge of the wagon she was in as I told her that "it might be a good idea not to approach Asuka today.
It might be better" I told her "if I set up a place for her here about100 yards away from Asuka and set her up here with food,
and other supplies, and then I would try to shuttle between the two and keep the disseption for a while, at least until I can talk
her into the idea of Rei being alive and her not wanting to kill her." Though I saw some doubt in her eyes she agreed.
After I secured the area around Rei, I set her up with a handgun from
what looked like a Japanese officer's
uniform on the ground. I then did something that surprise both of us. I bent down intending to kiss her on the forehead as this
was as bold as I could get. But at the last minute, Rei moved her head up and back and instead of a forehead to kiss, I was
kissing ... her lips! I tried to move away, but Rei put her hand on my shoulder and eventually we both gave into the kiss.
Only the need to breath finally broke the kiss. Well I felt much happier, now that Rei had let me know her feelings for me.
And as we gathered our breath, and Rei laid back down on the makeshift bed I made for her,
I made sure she had the gun just under the blankets and then after squeezing her hand
I went back to the Quad-trac and the other wagon .
After a wave to her, I started the engine and headed to where I left Asuka.
It was getting late by the time I had gotten back to the beach.
As soon as I cut the engine, a slew of German and Japanese curse words filled the air, .... all directed at me.
As I came around the bluff where Asuka was sitting a stick flew towards
me, just missing my head.
"Damn it Baka, where the hell have you been?" said a irate Asuka.
I explained to her what had happened, (excluding my meeting Rei) and then I told her of the supplies I had found.
She in her own unique way told me what we have for dinner and that she needed my help in changing and going to the
While I wasn't looking forward to it, I knew that I had to go through with it. I knew Asuka was going to demand many
restrictions as she changed and her bathroom situation (I didn't know what she had in mind about that.)
But after some very awkward moments, she had gotten out of the suit and into some regular clothes.
I had to be her human clothes rack while she insisted I keep looking up to the sky. I think she must have been having fun at my expense because as her balance was not steady, she kept grabbing me in various places to steady herself.
I chalked it up to Asuka being Asuka and didn;t read much into it as I tried not to react to each pinch and grab.
But that last one being below my belt definitely got my attention as I looked down involuntarity and got a slap for my mistake.
Finally, she was dressed as best could be and had done her natural functions will thankfully little help from me.
We had the dinner she prepared and then got ready for bed.
We bedded down for the night with Asuka on the opposite side of the
fire from me.
After one of her patented speeches of keeping my perverted self away from her,
she laid down and within 15 minutes was asleep. That speech brought back the earlier memories of what I had done before,
So I kept in mind that idea that she didn't want me for more than to help her survive, and so I'll do as much as is needed for her to survive.
I took that opportunity to go to where I had left Rei, and took the
cooked vegetables with me, they were still warm.
When I got to her position, she was asleep already. But she had asked me just before I left to wake her up if I had food for
her. I did just that, but not before I took a look at her closely. I could see her features even in the night because the moon was
full, Her face as beautiful as ever, her legs tucked in and shapely. Her hands dainty and soft, while she simply exuded a sense
of beauty and safety about her. I shook my head to clear my head and finally woke her up.
Rei finished her dinner and then I filled her in on what I had planned.
First, I was going to find a multi-room shelter for all three of us, but I would keep Asuka in the dark about Rei for now.
Then I would move Rei in first and then as she had her room's door closed I would then move Asuka in to another room.
So then I could have both of them under one roof while still keeping Rei secret safe from Asuka.
So Thirty minutes before daybreak I left Rei who was still asleep, and headed to where Asuka's was sleeping.
I finally got there and low and behold there sat Asuka making breakfast.
I filled her into what I had planned, she approved the idea without her usual snide remarks.She wasn't thrilled with the great outdoors.
So a shelter out of the wind, and potential rain made her more inclined to help.
So, I went to pack up all our supplies and left a sheet with two sticks to shade Asuka as I began my search for shelter.
I had decided to seek shelter in the only area that most buildings still
By coincidence, it was our old neighborhood. To my surprise,
Misato's apartment building still stood, so with out any delay I headed there.
It took almost two hours of first checking the place out, making sure that the building it self was sound and not on the verge of collapse. I then ventured into our old apartment, and surmised that that was the best place to stay for now.
Not just because it was one of the few safe structures here, but the familiarity of the apartment would make the recovery time for Asuka and Rei go much easier. I inspected all the rooms, and made sure that the apartment was study and safe.
Then I planned out my movements. First I would gather Asuka and our supplies and gingerly move them with the
Quad-trac and the wagon. I steered clear of the lake area where I had left Rei before, and moved slowly towards the
apartment. Finally we made it and I started to move the supplies upstairs, Asuka being first up and in her old room
Then I got an idea, why not use the Quad-trac to literally climb the
and made it and our supplies up to the 4th floor where the apartment was?
Well I tired it and it worked. Thankfully, having four wheel drive on the bike made turned and climbs easier.
The first things I hauled up was the food, and our bedding supplies.
I then made an excuse to her about leaving something behind, and due
to the long trip back,
I would be in by nightfall I would return. She was hesitant to let me go, but I similarly equipped her with a gun
as I had done worth Rei. With that protection Asuka let me go.
After a quick good bye, I headed to Rei's position.
She was there calmly reading one of several books I had found in the stores. I explained the plan and she agreed but she told
me I had to tell Asuka soon about her, or there could be a worse response from my fiery German friend.
I calmly moved Rei and her supply wagon to the apartment building. I literally repeated myself with Rei moving into my old
I wasn't too thrilled that I would have Misato's old room. Old memories
were there as well, but I needed to stop that kind of thinking.
I had more in mind. Plus, I really missed Misato.
After having a cold dinner, and helping the girls each to the bathroom
without Asuka noticing was a chore.
I had the task on getting the two beds made and they slept in their rooms while I took another hour in cleaning out and
boxing Misato's stuff and belongings. I'm sure both of them could hear me crying as I cleaned up the cluttered and disheveled
Asuka's room, while I got into my bed to sleep in. That might have made the next morning so different
as my bed held more than just me!
The Next Morning
I had a horrible dream reliving the Third Impact, seeing friends become
LCL, the battle, and then
seeing Asuka and Rei, ... dying!
In an instant, I was back at Misato's apartment, lying down in her bed.
As I was relieved to see a familiar ceiling, I tried to look around and get up.
I found I was pinned down on my side. I looked down and
found to my confusion and
amazement Asuka on one side of me, while Rei was on the other, both holding me tight each with their one good arm.
They still had bandages on their limbs and now on various parts of their bodies. In the foggyness of awakening I said to myself,
"They're alive,......... but how?" I asked myself. Then yesterday's events came back into my minds focus..
As I thought about this I noticed they were both sleeping. Asuka was
snoring lightly, a firm arm
wrapped around my waist, her hair in a semi-circle around her was as red and soft as ever.
Her face was so lovely and cute as she slept. I had a smile on my face as I looked at her then Rei moved.
I turned my attention to her and took her in with my eyes.
She was so different than Asuka, but strangely had the same contented
look as Asuka. Her now dark blue hair seemed to keep it's shape around her head.
It was as soft as Asuka's, only much shorter.
Her white skin shown as though it was glowing, though not as white as before the Third Impact.
She had one hand under my arm and shoulder the other, her left,
was in a sling showing she had been injured.
Then a thought hit me, and I went from happiness to dread as I remembered
how they died.
I started to relive their horrible deaths again and my self doubt arouse like the head of a screaming demon.
How can I protect them, if I couldn't save them then.
How can I protect them now? Was this a second chance, another way to cause pain and sorrow?
Why was I picked by the almighty force to do this?
I had this on my mind as tears started to flow down my face.
Then I felt a hand wipe them for each side of my face.
One of my angels was looking at me, with the look of concern and care in her eyes.
Did I see this clearly, or was it just the tears blurring my sight?
Before any more concerns came to my mind I felt her hugging me tightly, and it stopped my tears.
I asked them how she had ended up in my room.
I had a terrible time the night before getting each of them to their beds.
Yet they made it to my room without waking me.
Rei finally answered, by describing how she heard Asuka use the wall for support, working her limbs and hooked herself
around the door jams. She heard her wince several times in pain as she made her way to Misato's room.
Then I asked how she got here. Rei simply stated that she "didn't want
me to be alone when Pilot Sohryu awake.
She might cause you physical harm." Asuka did not giev her a kind look at Rei's discription.
She then explained a similar journey to Asuka's, from my old room to where I slept.
As to why I didn't hear them make their way to my bed. Rei explained
that I was so tired, an N2
mine wouldn't have woken me up, plus she observed me having a nightmare.
When she laid down opposite where Asuka had lain, I seemed to calm down.
After that she got comfortable and fell asleep.
Then after that was explained to me, I changed to what really drove
that nightmare I had.
"This is the result of your decision to stay Shinji, and your desire to be with those you care about the
most," Rei, whispered to me with a sincere look.
"So, we're here because you wanted us to be here ... with you."
I felt very guilty to have dragged both of them into this desolate earth,
where we had to fight to survive.
"Yes, ... you wanted both of us to live, and ... to be happy!" answered
I said, "But, how could both of you be ... happy?
Weren't you with loved ones in the communal LCL?
(I thought of my Mom and Dad, Misato, Kaji, and Asuka's Mom)
I didn't want to take you away from that.
I just wanted to pay for my mistakes without either of you getting involved."
I then tried to get up and leave, and even with one good arm each Rei held me down as Asuka slept on.
"Shinji, all you did was to give us the choice to come back. We didn't
have to come back," Rei said
quite sternly. "I could have stayed being a part of Lillith, and served in heaven," added Rei.
Then Shinji felt Asuka stir. Somehow he got from under her without waking
her, and help Rei to her room.
He then made breakfast for the girls all the while Asuka had not known Rei was just two rooms away from her.
He then finished the vegetarian breakfast by using a gas grill he had found the day before in the garage.
He brought it up to the neighboring apartment and cooked there.
After serving Rei her breakfast and closing his old room's door, he went about making his and Asuka's breakfast.
After he had secured Rei, he woke Asuka up, and first helped her to the bathroom, closed the door and waited for her to
finish. Then, he helped her to their dining room table and served her a makeshift breakfast that still filled their stomachs.
After their breakfast, Asuka asked to be helped to the balcony, Shinji obliged her and they stood looking at the desolation
and empty expanse that once was Tokyo-3.
After some tense silence, Shinji simply started to talk, mainly about
what he experienced during Third Impact.
His realization of who was in Unit-01, the burden of having Rei/Lillith give him the final say on what would happen.
Finally his apology of dragging her into what he considered his punishment.
At that Asuka raised her good hand to stop his rant.
Asuka then looked at her companion with a sad an contemplative look,
and simply started to narrate what she experienced during third Impact.
"I want you to listen, not intrupting me. Then when I'm finished I think you will understand."
I remember pain, ... extreme pain, ... then an abrupt change.
I was on a floor with no real trace of texture or look, just a flat surface. I was lying on my back
I had no pain, then I suddenly was in my plug suit.
As I sat up to inspect myself and look around as to how and where I was, I saw in the distance a shape coming
towards me, As it came closer, it took a human shape. Then I started to recognize that it was human.
She had long auburn/brown hair and the feminine shape of a women became apparent. As she came
closer still I saw she was also wearing a red plug suit like mine, but as this person was an adult,
and a woman, so she filled out the suit much more that I did.
As I was thinking about all this before me, I then had a realization, why she was so familiar.
I got up and ran with tears welling up in my eyes as she spread her
arms out to catch me
We hugged and cried as I had never before for several happy and comforting minutes.
I finally caught my breath and as I lifted my head to start asking questions I had long ago wanted to ask her.
"Why? Why did you pilot the Eva?" I asked my teary eyed mother not letting
her go as she thought of
"Oh my little Leipshin, I did it to protect you and all the other children
from having to pilot, plus I
had to find out why Yui Ikari had died when she tried to sync with her Eva." was what my mom, protecting me.
Kyoto Zeppelin Sohryu
"You mean Shinji's mom. She disappeared into Unit-01 during that sync
I said quietly still embracing my mother.
"Yes, and she was my friend. We collaborated in the projects schematics
and while she toiled in
Tokyo-3, I did the same in Germany." Kyoto replied.
"You were friends ... with Shinji's mom?" I asked in confusion.
"Yes we had a inter-university project on biomechanics when we were
finishing our Doctorates together.
She was the one who eventually brought me into Geherin, and I became the project manager for the
German branch." she said.
I then asked, "But Mama, What happened to you in your accident. I mean
you came out of it , well
crazy!" That was very hard for me to say acknowledging not only what I felt about her,
but admitting my fear as well. But she just smiled and said;
"That which came out was not me but a shattered husk of my soul.
My spirit," She patted her chest "... my soul remained in Unit-02. So you see my little Leipshein,
I have always been with you. I wished you hadn't had to go through seeing my husk kill herself,
but know now that I have loved you always." She then started to cry just as much as I, when she said;
"I wish I was more loving to you before the accident. But the job, and the problems
with your father distracted me from what truly was important."
She then hugs me again. I hope you can forgive me Asuka-chan."
A flood of warmth washed over me, as she hugged me.
I could feel her love and her regret at what had happened.
My own regrets surfaced as well, my focus on the Eva, my treatment of those around me.
My stubbornness and my habit of pushing others away.
Finally, my burden of unworthiness was now lifted by my mother's true feelings,
of course I had forgiven her, ... as I had finally forgiven myself.
After this, my mother then informed me about the Third Impact and how
you and Rei were involved.
At first I was angry simply because I thought I should have been involved as well.
But, my mother's explanation soon made me aware of your importance in the matter.
She then explained that you (she pointed to Shinji) had to either decide
to accept Third Impact,
...or become one with everyone out there in the LCL!
"So if baka Shinji had said to hell with this just everybody go and
die, ... we will?'
I asked apprehensively.
"Yes, my little Leipshin. If he believes that, then that will be."
"But, what would happen if he chooses to live in Instrumentality,
or even back to the earth. Can he choose that?" I asked still nervous of the answer.
"Yes, Little Asuka, that can also happen!" Mama replied.
Back to the balcony
"But, why did you come back to a world where we will suffer, and have
pain, and maybe hunger,
and..." Asuka cut me off and holding his arm with her hand.
"Yeah, but we could have happiness, and comfort, and ... love." She sighed. "I don't want to give that chance up."
She sighed and then continued. "I relived my memories during Third Impact.
I even saw a perfect world for me, with you as my friend, and us three in school,
without Eva, and having our parents there taking care of us."
She sighed, then after a moment, went on.
"But it wasn't real, it wasn't ... alive to me. That's when I was shown the reality of my wounds,
feeling them again, and the memories, of my mother, dead, and hanging there in front of me!"
She stopped for a moment to gather herself, not believing that she had said something so secret to her to Baks Shinji.
"Then I also saw you, ... alone, in a desolate world. Then I was given the chance to stay or go.
I then sat there still my wounds throbbing while I had to make up my mind on whether to go back to
the reality you chose for yourself, or to my utopia. I looked at you on that beach alone again,
I remembered the way I had treated you, I owed you at least an apology for the way I treated you.
Then, I felt two things in my heart, how alone we both were and how alone we felt, without each other." She then smiled.
"I know I wasn't the only one you were lonely for. Though I don't particularly like her, I can understand how you would feel for her.
She has always had a part of your heart, I'm even surprised she hasn't shown up by now." Asuka then laughed.
"Oh knows, she might even land in our bathtub when she returns."
Shinji was flustered at the way Asuka was talking, though encouraged
with her declaration of expecting Rei to return,
he still hesitated to tell her she was already here, just two rooms away. He took a chance then.
"hmmmm, Asuka, hypothetically, what would you do if she did return?" asked Shinji nervously.
Asuka got very quiet causing Shinji to jitter nervously.
"I guess I would say hi!" She waved at him. "Then well with what's happened so far, I really don't know."
She then looked away from him.
There was some moments of silence until Shinji said,
" I would have wanted the two people I care about the most here, with me." That was a big ans surprising statement from him.
He looked at her with a caring look on his face. "If I could I'd truthfully would have you here with me ..."
He sighed held his breath and then said," and Rei too. I cannot hide my feelings even as messed up as they are. Not anymore!"
Asuka normally probably would have smacked him upside the head, but now reflecting on their experiences and of the baring of their souls, she instead became very philosophical. She then stood up face to face with him.
"I will tell you the truth, it would not be easy to see her or have to live with her,
but I know that she means as much to you as I do. I know that, and I accept that.
But that doesn't mean we won't have our disagreements, it just means that I won't kill her if that's what you worried about."
She took his hand hesitantly that old voice in her head telling her to crack his head open, but she suppressed that prideful voice for a new voice that told her they were in the same boat, so whatever feelings good or bad she had for Shinji, and for that matter Rei, she knew she wanted to be here with him , and not in some fantasy world that wasn't real.
"I then remembered what was shown to me and those shared feelings we
had before (During Third Impact)
I knew your feelings where the same way I had felt inside. I then told Lillith, or whomever was in charge to
send me to you." She sighed heavily this time trying to hold back her emotions.
"You have to live to know you're alive, take the pain with the comfort," said Asuka now with tears
building up in her eyes.
Then scaring them both, Rei Ayanami opened the balcony's sliding glass
After her two comrades caught their breaths, she stated;
"Pilot Sohryu is right. I wanted to experience a life with meaning.
All I had before Third Impact was Eva and an anticipation of death, because then I could not die.
I Then became one with Lillith and lost myself there." She looked passively at both children and then continued,
"I would have stayed there, a small piece of Lillith's soul and personality, except you had made your
decision to return." She pointed to Shinji.
"And with that decision was the desire to have Pilot Sohryu, ... and myself back with you."
Both Asuka, and Shinji's eyes bug out in surprise of what Rei said
"Your desire... was unspoken, but plain to Lillith, so she resurrected me in a normal human body, and deposited
my soul and personality permanently into it. That is what you found on the shore of the lake, that is the
I who is here with you now." Rei then became silent.
Asuka was getting red with anger, squeezing Shinji's hand greatly. Shinji
started to shake with pain.
Then Asuka turned to Rei and asked, squeezing a bit harder at the answer.
"Rei, how nice to see you, now when did Shinji find you on that lake shore?"
Shinji was shaking his head no waving his free hand pleading Rei not to answer behind Asuka until she turned her head,
he simply put his other free hand on back of his head.
Rei finally answered, stating all the factual details that Shinji had neglected to mention to a now smiling Asuka.
But, that smile would have skinned a cat!
"So, you have been here since yesterday morning?" Asuka asked getting louder as each word was said!
"Yes, and I have been in Shinji's room recuperating since this afternoon.
"IN HIS ROOM!?!?!?" Asuka was furious!
Before Shinji had all his fingers crushed by the now redfaced Asuka, He tried to remind her of what they had said earlier.
"All of us had shared each other's memories while in the LCL and you
and I know of what Rei was talking about."
Shinji then took hold of Rei's hand with his other hand, as Asuka hesitantly loosened her grip on Shinji's now bruised hand, but not letting go. Rei knew it would take some time for the prideful German girl to open up to Shinji, and to her as well.
"Thank you Shinji-kun, Pilot Sohryu for ... comforting me," said Rei in her stoic way
"Would you stop calling me that wonder girl, it's Asuka, and don't you forget it!"
Rei answered; "I will stop calling you Pilot Sohryu, if you stop calling
me wonder girl." Rei had said
it in a clear but unemotional way
Asuka hrumped, but then shook her head yes. "Ok! Boy your going to be
fun to hang around right
Wonder....... ah, Rei."
"That is all right, Asuka." Rei quietly said
Shinji finally spoke;
"Girls, I want to ... well I just want to say,.... ah well." I tried
to get the words right, to thank them
for being with me. But then I looked at them both. It was obvious they came back for more than what they said.
I slowly smiled at them, my fears starting to melt away.
Then they slowly, hesitantly (Especially Asuka!) laid their heads on my chest.
I gently hugged them with my arms as, from the balcony we looked out on the devstated city of Tokyo-3
We just stood there on the edge of the balcony there quietly enjoying each other's company,
but also realizing that we had to come together at least as friends for us to survive.
If things develop with one ... or both, well then we'll see what happens.
As I stood in-between the girls while all of us were still on the balconey,
they suddenly both looked back up at me, and asked in unison, "Well Shinji, what now"?
Next, Chapter 2: Decisions of Survival will deal with basic survival
and a decision on where to
go from here!
As you may have noticed, this is called an OVA because it has a different
slant to the original story.
You may have found more dialogue and more changes will occur. Especially after chapter 3, so keep reading
Thanks to all and Enjoy!