Congratulations on your newfound relationship with Jonathon Crane, aka The Scarecrow! Here is a list that has been politely put together to help you survive-and enjoy-your time together!


When he 'offers' you the position of Mistress of Fear, do not say "You need time to think about it," because he will hunt you down.

Dressing up as the batman and screaming "boo!" is probably not the best way to wake Jonathan up. Expect an entire can of fear gas to the face.

Jonathan does not handle rejection well; therefore do not expect him to take "I'm not in the mood" pleasantly.

Do not whine or nag him, he will not hesitate to make you one of his test subjects.

Do not be surprised if should you ask for affection he says no and laughs, however if he asks for affection be sure to give him some. Immediately.

Despite what he may say, Jonathan does enjoy hugs. However when he is fighting the Bat it is probably best to leave him be.

Do not use his scythe to slice fruit. He will be insulted.

When he says to stay out of a specific room, for goodness sake, STAY OUT.

When he comes home from a "Boys Night Out" bruised and bloody, do not ask questions. Simply lock the doors and clean him up as gently as possible.

Do not be surprised if your costume is a skimpier version of a nursery rhyme character. Role-play is also to be expected.

If he says he is craving chocolate cake do not run to the grocery store and buy some; he hates that kind. Make it from scratch.

Jonathan can be very possessive. Showing interest in any one else besides himself will cause him to inadvertently kill said person.

Should he work up the courage to propose, say yes whether you actually mean it or not.

If your answer truly was yes, prepare to live the rest of your life (no matter how short that may be) fighting against the bat, spending hot, steamy summer nights working on his fear gas, and trying to escape from an asylum full of crazies.

If your answer truly is no, say yes anyway, then fake your death and blame it on the bat. Move to Metropolis as quickly as possible and change your name to Louis Lane. He will spend the rest of his life 'avenging' you.