"Do you think he is coming back?" I asked quietly, looking at his peaceful face. All Esme could do was hold my hand.
Say not how you miss me,
Say only "Forever is not long enough"
Edward Cullen stood looking at his own tombstone. It has been three days since he was buried and three days since he last saw Bella.
Three days of looking at his own tombstone.
He had already answered all of the obvious questions. He was here because he broke a crucial promise, and somehow someone was punishing him. The graveyard were his body was buried was the only place he existed anymore because his body was here, and no one could see him simply because he wasn't there.
Now, only anticipation was left.
What was going to happen?
When was he going to see his future wife?
What irritated him about being a ghost was that he was so helpless. Here he was, almost drowning in his own emotions and thoughts, yet he couldn't do anything. He was as useless as a speck of dust floating through the universe, which in a way that was exactly what he was at this moment.
Footsteps were nearing towards him, toward his grave.
Edward tried to call to her but he had no voice.
He tried to touch her, but he had no fingers.
She couldn't feel him, but neither could he feel her!
If madness could be bottled up in one moment…
Finally, Edward resigned himself to just watching. Bella for a moment just stood and stared. Several things were off. First, her long lustrous hair was in tangles. Second, the bags under her eyes were turning a deep shade of purple, a sure sign that she was neither sleeping nor eating. The baggy clothes she wore could not hide that she had become a toothpick in his absence.
She reeked of alcohol.
"Hey, Edward." her voice was thin and cracked from disuse. She cleared her throat.
"I don't know if you can hear me but whatever. I have a few things to admit. So listen up because I am not going to telling them again."
She sat down in front of the tombstone as though she were talking to a real person.
"First, I would like to confess that, yes, it was me who ate all of chocolate ice cream from the freezer when you were out swimming. I was really ashamed."
She paused, and in that small moment Edward felt the tears pooling in his eyes. No matter even if the eyes even weren't there, he was crying, he missed her that much. Even though it had only been only three days, it felt the universe had been reborn thousands of times.
"I really shouldn't have started a list, because there are too many things that I want to say. Ice cream shouldn't be my first problem, should it? Since I have been waiting for about forty five hours, I guess I should start with a little surprise."
From her pocket, she protruded a small box. Edward's heart leapt.
"I bought a small necklace to remind us of Nessie."
Bella hung the necklace from the angel that was on top of the tombstone. A small glistening palm tree hung from a gold chain.
"At first I didn't remember about all of the things that happened in the In-Between. Right after Carlisle finally pronounced you dead it was like bam. Everything was clear."
"I know now that I have had my forever with you now, but it wasn't enough. We spent so much time together that any sane person would have gone mad." She smiled.
"I go mad being away from you."
Something made Bella stop. She fingered the necklace once and then left.
No, he screamed, don't go. I am right here; I can hear you, it is not in vain.
Come back, he whispered.
"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."
Edward jumped as the voice spoke, a rich smooth chocolate African-American voice.
"That's one hell of a name you got there."
He turned around to see Bella walk towards him.
Something was off about her, her image kept flickering like a mirage in the water. One moment, it was Bella, the next it was Alice, and then Jasper, and then Esme and so on.
Finally, the image settled on a small old lady with dark skin and hair as white as the clouds, quite an odd image.
"Who are you?" Edward asked, and he jumped at the sound of his own voice.
"I am the creator." She smiled showing teeth that were whiter than pearls.
"No, no, that one is my foolish brother. I am the creator of you. Of the vampires."
Edward could only gape foolishly.
"Now, son, I am going to make this very short and sweet. You are the first one in exactly 10,000 years that has found a perfect match for himself. I wasn't the one who permitted it, but I cannot control my sister, Coincidence, however hard I try."
The woman looked him over, and seemed to be reassuring herself of something about him.
"There used to be a thing called vampire Mates, but that went horribly wrong. Males either got too overprotective, or they took their mates for granted. The females were either killed in fights over possession or left to die. It was my fault I admit, making the males too strong and the females too weak. I am here to warn you that you will be possessive of her. It is going to be almost uncontrollable, but seeing the control you exhibited the first time you smelt her, I hope that this experiment of mine doesn't go foul again."
Edward felt his own fury roll over him hot waves. He wanted to kill her.
"Experiments? Is that all we are to you? You couldn't let us be, rotting underground as nature intended us to? All for your pleasure experimenting on what you can make us do. Like some kind of dolls?"
All of a sudden it was Jane looking back it him.
"Yes, you are one smart pickle. I do go by two names."
Edward didn't care.
"Are you going to turn Isabella into a vampire too?" he asked.
The Creator looked at him in surprise.
"I thought dear Carlisle had told you about the story of the mates. He has a whole book depicting relationships. Gosh, I remember how hard it was create something of such perfection. You see, something that I realized too fucking late was that perfection needs a backbone, and that is bad emotion. Jealously, loneliness…"she trailed off as though in sweet remembrance of a past love. Abruptly she shook herself. "The whole lot. At first mates were indeed vampire and vampire, but as time went by, I saw no need for both to be of the same kind. If human women could conceive children from vampires, than I could create a whole race of my own. So, vampires started to impregnate their human counterparts. Disaster. The women died, and rarely did the child survive. When one did, it looked absolutely hideous. Deformed featured, bones were twisted this way and that. The children were monsters, sucking and killing anything that had blood inside them."
Slowly, the image flickered back into what seemed her true form. The withered African American lady looked tired and old, not at all what Edward would picture the creator of vampires.
Irony comes in many forms, he thought in an almost disgusted manner.
"The vampire fathers had to kill their own children, before whole villages were sucked dry. I found that I could do nothing."
She smiled, humorlessly.
"So I ended it. No more mates, just the human kind of love had to do. Human love is also a very powerful thing, and in its way more beautiful than anything I could ever make."
Her gaze bore down on him, finally after staring dramatically into the distance.
Edward was speechless. All he could do was listen.
"My sister Coincidence and her friend, Redemption, hopped down to my home one day and told me that I was looking down in the dumps. Of course I said, my creations were planning to enslave the whole human's world, and that if someone didn't bloody stop them, God would come and scream his guts out at me. It is a touchy subject that even though he created humans, he is as powerless over them as a butterfly in a glass cage. He is a very temperamental being, just as he was when we were children. Coincidence and Redemption looked at each other as though they shared a schoolgirl secret. I asked them what in bloody hell could it be. After drinking the last of the tea that I made for them and left without a damn word. A few hours later you met Bella." She smiled at Edward hope shining in her eyes.
Honestly, her mood swings were driving Edward crazy, but he realized that she was acting a lot like himself.
"This concludes our meeting, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."
Suddenly, she looked pained.
"I had to jostle a few things around with Bella, I am really sorry about that."
Edward asked what but she was gone.
Darkness overtook everything.
The pain of coming back to life is almost unbearable. It is almost as terrible to the excruciating pain of become a vampire.
I could not complain though. I, Edward Cullen, had someone to find.
Standing up from the grass next to my tombstone, I put on the necklace that Bella had given me and walked all the way to the small downtown of Forks.
There she was, sitting behind a restaurant booth eating breakfast, alone.
My Isabella Swan.
Just a day before.
I still didn't know what type of doctor I was going to. All I knew was that it was some kind of baby doctor who knew everything about a females reproduction system.
The small room was cold, as I waited my diagnosis. I shivered inspecting the white walls and the gray cabinets. Shockingly enough, the countertop was a red-orange color.
Dr. Ivanov was a small woman with hair the color of her countertop. She had a Russian accent, and told me she came from this small place called Yaroslavl. I liked her no- nonsense attitude; it reminded me of Rosalie, if she were to choose this field of doctoring.
Not that she would.
The small door finally opened. Dr. Ivanov's face was grim showing no emotion at all, proof that she had indeed lived in the Soviet Union.
"I am afraid I have very bad news, Bella." She said, as her high heeled shoe went tap.
"The test results show that you will never be able to a have a baby of your own."
"Wha- What?" I stuttered.
Dr. Ivanov repeated her sentence, as though she was auditioning for some horrible play.
I stood up, thank her for her services and left.
The Cullen family was away on a hunting trip in Alaska. They all had taken wonderful care of me. Alice actually didn't want to go but in the end I pushed her out the door with everyone else.
I told them I was fine, which wasn't a lie at all. My heart was beating; my blood was red and my mouth breathed in and out.
Just after Edward's funeral, I was hit with baby fever. I wanted a child of my own so badly that I even considered hooking up with someone for a night. Deep down, I knew it was just my body recovering from dying, telling me that if I didn't fulfill my duty of reproducing then my life would practically be lived in vain.
I wondered why I didn't get pregnant in the In- Between.
Oh yeah, I had been dead.
Then, everything came crashing down. I woke up one day, about a week ago with morning sickness. I got a pregnancy test with Alice and it came out positive.
I wasn't happy about it. Just confused.
Okay. Maybe I was a bit happy about it. Carlisle only looked at me and shook his head and told me go to a specialist at Forks hospital.
Hysterical Pregnancy it is called. When my body wants a child so bad that it fakes symptoms of having one.
The specialist pointed me towards a doctor in Seattle named Dr. Ivanov. The baby doctor.
Which brings me back to the inside of Alice's car. Placing my hands on the steering wheel, I realized how bad they were shaking.
I started crying.
I honked the horn a few times.
I stomped my feet.
It was only now I realized how nice it was to know that you have something. Before, I knew that I really didn't want children. Although, I thought I knew that if I ever wanted one, I could.
It was a warm blanket covering my insecurities.
Through all of the years with Edward it had been there.
Now, it was ripped off.
Hysteria, panic and grief ripped through me like a wildfire through a forest. I wanted so bad to blame someone for this, my mom, my dad, Adekagwaa, Dr. Ivanov—anyone but me.
At the most inappropriate time, my stomach clenched in hunger signaling that it was time for me to eat.
Finally calming down enough to drive, I headed towards the breakfast diner they had just built. Aunt Miriam's it was called.
A nice waitress brought me coffee, and a cup of water. Breathing in, I dialed for Alice. She didn't pick up until the fourth ring, which was very unusual.
"Alice?" I said, shakily.
Suddenly the connection broke. Fear clenched my heart. What could possibly have made her…
A text blew up on my screen
Srry. Bad Connection. What did u want to say?
I blew through my nose in frustration.
My pancakes materialized in front of me. My hunger had dissipated but I managed to get at least one down my throat. I knew neglecting nutrition would only get me to a worse state than the one I was in now.
I sat staring at my phone.
Should I try calling again?
I needed to tell someone, or my hysteria would explode. I tried so hard to fight the tears that were threatening to spill.
The bell tinkled, signaling that someone had walked in. I didn't bother to look up, unlike most of the people in the diner. Whoever it was, they weren't here to help me, Or even for me, for that matter.
God, I should not be this depressed. I have a loving family and a roof over my head. Who cares if I can't have children? I could travel the world of I wanted to (Alice had been pushing for a trip to Paris), I could write a book or learn to program. There was so much to life than moping around like some damsel in distress or kids, for that matter. Abruptly, I stood and walked out of the booth, and incidentally ran into someone.
A voice whispered my name and led me out of the diner.
I couldn't take it anymore; I burst into tears.
"Oh no, please don't cry, Isa," pleaded the voice.
"Are you really here?" I asked, unsure of what my reality constituted of.
"Don't worry, love. I am, and I am not leaving you ever again."
"You said you let go of my hand. Why?"
I had to know, right away. I knew I was being blunt, but this was going to be my only chance to ask and get a direct answer.
I stepped away from him to analyze his face. It turned into a grimace.
"I was being pulled back, and if I didn't let go then you would have gone with me. I was afraid that it was hell pulling me towards itself, and god knows you don't deserve hell."
I was certain that part of it was a fib, but I decided to let it go because he interrupted my next words by saying,
"C'mon, Isabella, lets go home. You need sleep."
"Wait." I said, an edge of hysteria in my voice that made his eyes clench in worry. "Before we go on living, I have to tell you something."
Taking my hand, he waited for what.
"I can't have children." I blurted, deciding that the longer it took to rip off the Band-Aid, the more it would hurt.
His eyes darkened, and he didn't reply to my statement until we reached home.
When we were finally inside the house, he looked at me and kissed me.
It was longest and sweetest kiss of my life, with an edge of longing and grief.
"Isabella Swan. You are perfect. I will spend the rest of eternity telling you this. Just because some doctor told you your insides are messed doesn't mean anything."
He lowered his forehead to mine.
"If you want children, we'll adopt a whole planet-full of them without questions."
It was then, that I noticed the palm tree necklace around his neck.
There are many people who have contributed to making the finis of this story.
4MeJasper: Thank you so much for beta'ing this from the point I asked you until the end. Thanks to you, my writing has improved tremendously from the start. I learned many grammatical things that I wouldn't have known otherwise (yet I still make mistakes on) and you helped me realise that sometimes, if it sounds good in my head, doesn't mean that others will understand. Plus, your encouragement for every chapter really made my day, even through there was a ton of mistakes.
blue and silver marble unicorn: thanks for staying until the end, even though I kinda forced you to.
Matthias Stormcrow, The Unfamiliar: You two are the start of a list of people who reviewed for every single chapter.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
All reviewers: You guys can't even fathom how happy you made me feel. I wish I could hug you all.
All Follows and Faves: I can't believe that there are so much of you. I can't thank you enough for pressing that button, that sends an email to me saying that somone liked my story. THANK YOU.
monmosevolragus: thank you for listening to me talk for hours on end about this.
THANK YOU ALL x 1000000.
P.S. Stay tuned for an epilogue.
Anything publicly recognizable is not mine.