Ok here's the 4th chapter! Sorry the last one was so short. Hopefully this one will make up for it. Listen to Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne. Basically what I think Kristen is thinking. Please review!
"Today's the day I pray we make it through. Make it through the fall. Make it through it all."
She opened the door with a smile on her face knowing she would see his. But it soon faded when it was not Rob standing at the door but one of his bodyguards. Bear barked and jumped up on to Kristen. She didn't even pet him properly she was so upset that Rob wasn't there.
"Where is he?" was all she said.
"He had to take an earlier flight this morning." the body guard replied. He seemed sympathetic for Kristen and added "and he didn't want to wake you. It was very early." He assured her.
Bear was barking loudly now trying to get Kristen's attention. Tears were falling down her cheeks as she crouched down to hug him.
"Hey there buddy. I've missed you" she said softly to him trying to control her tears. He licked her face.
"Anyways, Rob said to tell you that he'll call you when he lands... Should be late tonight... So I'll be going then." He said awkwardly waiting for her response.
"Oh ok thank you." She replied and shut the door.
She leaned back against the door and slid to the ground. Her head was in her hands while she sobbed. Why was she so upset about this? Did she really think he would take her back after everything she had done? No she hadn't thought that. She had thought he would show up though and she would be able to see him, smell him, and breathe the same air as him. She just missed him so much. He wasn't just her boyfriend, he was her best friend. Not being able to tell your best friend what your going through is impossibly hard. Bear nudged her hand so that she would pet him. She did and then pulled him up onto her lap while she sobbed into his fur. When she thought she was done she would then start up again soaking his fur. Then suddenly she ran to the bathroom and started to throw up. It stung in her throat but it was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart.
He knew he shouldn't have rescheduled his flight to an earlier one but he just couldn't face her. He wasn't ready. He didn't know if he was ever going to be. He felt bad though. No, why should he? It was all her fault really. Not his. Still he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Why? He didn't know. I guess it was just an instinct. Hearing her messages on his phone of her crying, it made him cringe. It made him want to run to her and hold her in his arms. But he controlled himself. He wasn't mad really. He was, hurt. That's the only way to describe it, hurt and he was hurting. He starred out the window of his hotel in NY. He had landed a few hours ago and still not called her. She hadn't texted him. Yet. He knew she would. Honestly he wanted to know how she was. He was worried about her and as he thought about that he picked up his phone and dialed her number:
"Hey Rob I'm so glad you called." she picked up on the first ring.
"Yeah just wanted to tell you I've landed." he said
"Thank you. I was getting worried you'd forgotten... Or you just weren't going to call. Like how you didn't show up today." she sounded horrible to him. Her voice was all raspy and cracked. All wrong he thought.
"Yeah sorry about that. Had to take an earlier one for uh some business reasons." ok he sounded like a douche. Business reasons? She would know now that it was because he didn't want to see her.
"Oh I see." was all she replied.
"Anyways I've got a lot of promo going on so I can't talk for long." he said
"I miss you.." she said having too high hopes he'd say it back and when he didn't she quickly kept talking so he wouldn't hang up "I know my opinion probably isn't worth much, but you are amazing in that movie. You will blow everyone away. I know it."
"Thanks.. I'm nervous." he replied.
"I know. But that's my fault and my problem so don't be. Everyone loves you."
"You're problem? I'm pretty sure it's my problem too. Unless I'm already out of the picture. Which wouldn't be a sur"
"No no that's not what I meant I take it back sorry sorry" she interrupted him quickly. She didn't want him to go down that road when they such little time to talk. "sorry" she said again quickly.
"Yeah well your sorrys don't really mean much anymore.." He replied.
It hurt her to hear how he was hurting. She wished there was something to say that would change everything. Everything else she had already tried.
"I love you." She choked
"That lost its meaning too." he said softly. Almost whispering.
There was a long silence. For a few moments they just listened to each other breath. Then Kristen's breathing turned into sobbing and Rob couldn't take much more.
"I've got to go." he said.
"No please don't." she said.
"I have to. I have to get up early tomorrow and it's late and to be honest I just can't take anymore tonight. I can only push myself so far. Sorry." he said
"Ok its ok. Will you call me tomorrow after promo?"
"Yeah I'll try."
"Ok... I love you."
"I know. goodnight."
With that he hung up. He didn't fall asleep though. He lay on his bed looking out the window staring at the New York buildings surrounding and imagining Kristen there in bed with him. Her tiny body curled up against him with her forehead leaning on his back and her legs intertwined with his. He missed her alright. Maybe even loved her still. He just needed time to find out.
She breathed a deep breath as she stepped out of the car. Paparazzi waited for her outside. She walked through the airport with her hair down, earphones plugged in. Nobody knew that she didn't have any music on. She could hear exactly what they were yelling
"DID YOU KNOW RUPERT WAS MARRIED KRISTEN?! " "HAVE YOU APOLOGIZED TO LIBERTY?"
And lots of other screaming. The things they were screaming, it hit her in the gut. She felt so bad. She had written a letter to Liberty saying how sorry she was. But nothing she said to her would erase what she had done. That was the worst part. That one person in this world would always hate her. She didn't know how to fix it. It just all hurt. Even if by some reason Rob could ever forgive her, she knew one person never would.
That brought her thoughts back to Rob. She kept checking her phone every 5 seconds to see if he had texted her. For the past few weeks they had been talking over the phone back and forth but not yet seen each other. He had agreed to see her after her TIFF premiere but not before because he didn't want her to be too emotional at her movie premiere. Even though she told him she was already about as emotional as it gets, she let it go. Just the promise of seeing him soon would get her through these promotion days.
THE NEXT DAY
It was the day of the premiere and her heart was pounding out of her dress. She had already thrown up once from nerves, or maybe it was from missing Rob. She couldn't tell anymore. They had talked the night before and he had assured her that everything would go fine, she would be fine. She could do this. She might have believed him when they were talking but now that she was actually there, she didn't believe one word. She wasn't going to be fine. She was going to break down in the middle of the red carpet in front of everyone. She breathed and then checked her phone one last time before handing it to Ruth, her publicist. There was a text from him. Yes.
"Good luck tonight. Not that you'll need it. You got this."
She felt immediately better. She handed over her phone and stepped out. She was ready.