A/N: Heyyyy guys! I'm ALIVE! I've been trying to update ASAP, but school is not allowing me to do it quickly, so I apologize. Glad you guys seem to be enjoying the story, and my apologies for my last Author's note when I said it was gonna be ALL BBRAE. You'll see what I mean. It's kinda all BBRAE, but this is mostly about Beast Boy…read and find out, ok?(; Kinda filler, but I like describing emotions, so you guys can see the pain, or love, or etc. I know, kinda sappy. BUT HEY, it's my style(; GREAT NEWS: I have like 2 more BBRAE stories all lined up, and some RobStars as well! So even after this ends, more shall be coming. I honestly don't know how long this is gonna be, but it probably won't be ending to soon. At least probably another 6 chapters…OK? Haven't exactly decided what how I'm gonna end it, so you shall see! Anyways… keep reading maybe? Thanks haha.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUTS: JessRobStar, Katwizzle, punkrocka23 (BTW I WILL TOTALLY GET TO READING YOUR FANTASTIC STORY, i'm so sorry its taking so long. I promise i will and review every chapter!) Egyptiandude990, SaphireDragon15, XXStarfireXXRobinXX, The Cretin, Nkcandygirl,and iluvpryos! Your reviews mean the world to me, and thanks to ALL of you guys, I GOT over 50 REVIEWS! AHHHH, totally made my day! Thank you thank you thank you soooooo much! That is actually so mind boggling to me, so thank you for your support!
Now, on with the story…
Beast Boy knocked again and quietly spoke,
"Raven, it's me. I'm sorry about today, just please let me in.
He listened, but again, there was no response. He daringly slid her door open slightly, just enough to poke his head through. The room was dark, only a single flame on Raven's night stand making it possible for Beast Boy to see. He quietly slipped his entire body through the cracked door and into the empath's room, searching for the lavender haired girl. He quickly spotted her, tucked in under purple comforter. Her eyes were shut, and her breathing pace was steady. She was already asleep, much to Beast Boy's disappointment.
He took a step closer towards the young girl, examining her facial expression. It wasn't filled with anger, like it had been earlier today, but replaced with the same look he had seen the day Terra had disappeared. She looked like an angel, yet pain was present in her features. No tears this time, but it was obvious to Beast Boy that she was suffering, even in her sleep. She wore an uneasy expression, which almost made Beast Boy whimper in pain. He hated seeing her like this.
"What's wrong, Rae?" he whispered to himself.
He decided not to wake her up tonight, and was going to wake up early tomorrow and talk to her then. He couldn't bring himself to disturbing her when she looked like this.
Almost as if it was instinctive, he walked towards her bed, tucked in her covers a little more, and placed his lips on her forehead, giving her a small, gentle kiss. He pulled away and exited her room, closing the door behind him.
He entered his room, changed into his pajamas, a thin white t-shirt and green and purple plaid pants, and climbed into his bed. He placed his head upon his two hands rested on his pillow, his two elbows sticking out from either side of his head (do you guys get what position I'm describing? Like when people lie down in the grass, they place their heads on their hands... But their elbows like stick out? Pm if you don't... Haha).
He replayed everything that had gone on today; Terra's arrival, Raven leaving, the fight between him, Raven, and robin, his date with Terra, kissing Raven good night, it was just so much in such a small amount of time. He started trying to break things into bits, organizing all his thoughts.
First, Terra arrives so unexpectedly that no one even knows what's happening. Honestly, how was she brought back to life? How was this possible? And she was just so calm about it, like nothing happened. He was so happy she was back, yet at the same time, something deep down inside of him wasn't thrilled about it either. Sure, he hugged her and was all teary eyed when he saw her, but it was mostly from being caught up in the moment; his thoughts were blurred from shock. But why, WHY? Isn't this what he's been dreaming about for days, moths, years? Wasn't she the one he thought of when he saw couples walking on the streets? When he watched romance movies with Star, wasn't it Terra that was always on his mind? Shouldn't he feel the weight of the world off his shoulders, now that he found the one thing he was looking for? But no, of course something deep down inside had to make him feel…uneasy? He couldn't even find the words to describe what he was feeling; all he knew was it wasn't great.
Next, he sees Raven run off to her room, but does nothing, yes NOTHING, about it. He was an idiot for doing nothing, and letting her run off by herself when she clearly needed some help. But it was because of Terra, who had completely taken control his thoughts, which made him forget about Raven. But why did Raven run off in the first place? Oh right, cause he made her second choice to Terra, and canceled the date with her; well not exactly a date. But still, he made her feel like she was second choice, a second choice to a girl she despised with passion. But was that the only reason she was so upset; he wouldn't expect Raven to get that angry over that, even if it was about Terra. But he guessed she could understand where she was coming from, because he would be hurt if that happened to him. But still, wouldn't she, of all people, understand that this was a little different that typical situations? Even if it was rude to cancel, it was reasonable, right? And again, he was caught up in the moment and it was impulsive, but never the less, stupid. He should have thought about her feelings, it was his mistake.
Once he was out of his daze about Terra, he made way to Raven's room, only to find the Boy Wonder standing next to her about to leave her room. What had gone on in their? Why would she tell Robin, but NOT him, her best friend? And then his thoughts drifted to what Terra said, "is there anything romantic going on between them?" What if that was the case, what if it was that they were hiding a relationship?! Beast Boy tossed in his bed a little, uncomfortable with the idea of anything like that going on between the two. He could have sworn Robin was into Starfire, and Raven didn't seem to take any interest to Robin, besides in a friendly/family like way. Plus, why would they be hiding anything? It wasn't a crime to date each other. He sighed in frustration, not understanding exactly what was going on. The one thing he did know, but didn't understand, was why it bothered HIM so much. If Raven found love, shouldn't he be happy, for her sake? And Robin was one of his best friends, and knew he wouldn't hurt her. So why wasn't he thrilled for them? What did he feel instead? He felt like vomiting; it felt awful to even imagine they were together. Just thinking about them together made him feel queasy, and it sucked. He couldn't get rid of this thought no matter how hard he tried, which made him get angry. He wasn't SUPPOSE to feel like this, so how come he was? Nothing was making sense to him anymore.
Of course, there was his date with Terra, which he expected to go some much better than it actually did. It was a "Suppose to be a romantic reunion" gone bad. It started off fine, the bowling was fun, but as soon as they arrived at the pizza shop, everything went downhill. First, he forgets her favorite pizza, and states Raven's favorite. Strike one. Next, Terra's tone when she talks about raven is like her talking about spoiled milk, which leads to a small fight and awkward silence. Strike two. And of course, that awkward moment when he can't admit to her that he wants to be more than friends, strike three. He's out. For gosh sakes, he even lied to himself saying he was in love with her, trying to convince himself that's what he wanted. But what really held him back? Maybe it was because he had hurt him, betrayed him and all his friends, and suddenly appeared asking for them to take them back with no explanation or apology. But he was lying to himself again; he knew that wasn't the case. There was something else, tickling at the back of his mind, that he couldn't explain, couldn't understand, couldn't bear to have. It was eating away at him, but he still didn't know what it was! So, he turned down the girl of his dreams, or well who he thought was the girl of his dreams. It didn't feel like that anymore; it almost felt wrong to be with her.
He stared at his ceiling, and inhaled a deep breath. It never felt right with her, and he hated that. I mean, he considered her his "first love", but deep down inside she never was. Yeah, she was pretty, funny, and sweet, and yeah, he liked her. But he didn't, and couldn't love her. But why?
And finally, to top of this eventful day, he tucked Raven in and kissed her forehead. What had urged him to do that?! He wasn't even thinking about it; it just came so naturally. And honestly, it felt so right. Tucking her into bed and giving her that kiss tonight, made him want to do it every night for the rest of his life. But why did he feel this way? Why did it feel SO right? I mean, it was just a simple kiss that he gave to Raven. It wasn't on the lips, or even then cheek, and it was to Raven. Raven his best friend. Raven who only loved him like a brother. Raven was on his mind 24/7. But it was only because they were so close that he felt like this, right? Best friends thought about each other, right? Yeah... maybe that's why.
Beast Boy felt as if the world was crashing down on him in a single day. He couldn't even understand how he was feeling for crying out loud.
"What's wrong with me?" Beast Boy mumbled into his pillow.
He turned his head to look at his clock. It was already 1:00. He grunted into his pillow, desperately trying to fall asleep. He needed to clear his head.
He finally fell into a light, unsatisfying sleep; he felt as if he was only half asleep. He felt like he was still awake, but in reality had conked out. At around 5 o'clock, he began to stir again. He gave up on sleep, thumped his feet onto the floor and climbed out of bed, and slipped on his is purple bathrobe. He slowly began to make his way down the hallway, taking his sweet time. He took a short stop in the bathroom, before continuing to his destination: the living room. It wasn't til he was half way through his journey did he remember that Raven ALWAYS got up super early to meditate before and during sunrise. He also remembered that Robin woke up pretty early as well, so if he wanted to speak to her, it was going to go talk to her NOW. He started to run down the hallways, not caring or remembering that everyone else was sound asleep. As he reached the last straight away, he started sprinting towards the door to the living room.
"I'm not to miss this opportunity. I'm not going to let her keep hurting. I'm gonna make everything better." He whispered to himself as he scampered down the last 10 meters of the hallway.
A/N: CLIFFHANGERRRR! Whoohoo! Mainly because I'm not exactly sure where to go with this; partly the reason I've been super slow to update! But, I think I know what im doing…eh maybe. You'll see(; Also, schools Insane, so that's the other reason. Updating is so hard now. ANYWAYS, my problems are boring. Hope you like it so far, and I PROMISE I'll try to update soon. Ok? As long as you stick with me, it'll happen soon. At least this chapter's long you so much and PLEASE Review! Your kind words will motivate me to write!
Chao for now(; I'm a poet and I don't even know it! Haha I'm so clever…not really. Eh, im sorry. It's like 11:00 and im tired. Ok, I'll post the chap. Byeeee!