Disclaimer: I do not own "That '70s Show". I wish I did but…I don't…so I'll just continue writing fanfiction.
A one-shot set in the dreadful season 8, after Sam the stripper left but before Jackie decided she should be with Fez when…well in my opinion, she shouldn't.
Special thanks to KarateKickGyrl87!
Jackie's eyes stayed clear on the ground, even though it was far. Her feet dangled in the air as her hair swayed in the wind. She pulled onto her jacket tightly and listened to the silence. It seemed she was always alone. But she had gotten accustomed to it with time. No one had a concern or care for her and she was just fine by herself.
Jackie Burkhart did not need her stupid ex that had dumped her for a whore, who everyday treated her like trash on the street and acted like they had never been together; he was dumbass anyways She didn't need her 'best friend' that dumped her for her ex's stripper wife and at times pretended she didn't exist. She was bitch anyways. She didn't need her mother and father that obviously never cared for her. And she didn't need anybody else around her.
She took her hands off the railing of the Water Tower and felt herself imagining what would happen if she fell. Would she get hurt like Kelso? Or die like Charlie? She silently hoped for the latter and felt her body inch closer to the edge. She didn't anybody and nobody needed her, absolutely nobody.
Her fingers quickly grasped the railing again; she can't do it, can't let them have the satisfaction of knowing she was done. But then again, she would be gone and it's not like anyone would even remotely notice. Or would they? She didn't the answer to that question.
Hyde watched her from his car; what the hell was she doing? He knew she didn't like sitting down on the Water Tower without someone next to her. She barely liked being alone. Oh God, her hands weren't even on the railing. But why the hell should he care?
She had been doing this often, sitting on the Water Tower by herself in silence. But she usually stood up and slouched down onto the railing. He would know – he had used to do the same before he found her there. She stole his spot now he had to resort to drinking beer and feeling like utter crap until she decided to leave. That was the only reason he was here, waiting to reclaim his spot, nothing else.
He took his glasses off, set them down on the passenger seat, and got out of his car.
Why the hell was he leaving his car? She was his ex for God's sake. He got married after they broke up, sure the marriage was invalid but he didn't know – it was the principle that counted.
He missed her. It was all he could think of and it made him sound like a wussy like Forman. It wasn't supposed to be like this, he was supposed to be damn Zen and cool all his life. He wasn't supposed to have feelings. Damn Jackie. Damn the whole world.
"C'mon and get away from the edge," a voice commanded her. She bit her lip, Steven or what she should call him – Hyde.
"You can't tell me what to do, Stev– Hyde," she snapped, without looking to face him.
He raised an eyebrow and knew how stubborn she was. "Fine." He sat down next to her and glanced at her. "Then tell me what the hell you're doing here."
"That's no longer your concern, Ste– Hyde," she replied with Zen.
He stared at her. Was she using his Zen against him, the master of it all? Did she actually think she would win this? "Yes it is."
She scowled. "What are you, five?"
He almost chuckled at his words. "You gonna tell me why you've been here almost every night?"
Her head swung to look at him and she glared. "Have you been watching me?" she asked angrily.
He remembered his Zen and gave her an eye roll. "Don't flatter yourself, Princess. This is my spot."
She rolled her eyes. "I don't see your name anywhere now do I?"
He ignored her and began to speak again. "Are you gonna tell why you're sitting on the edge by yourself when we both know you don't like it?"
"Are you gonna tell me when you'll leave?" she imitated. He chuckled and gave her a smile. She looked away and turned her gaze back to Point Place. If she jumped right now, this would be over. He wouldn't be sitting right next to her.
Her fingers lifted and her hands moved away from the railing. They moved to her lap and remained there.
Sometimes it was like she was miles away but she was really right in front of him. He frowned. His hand right hand went to the railing and the other ran to hers. She turned to give a look and pulled her hand away. "Don't touch me," she warned.
He stared at her and let out a sigh. "I know what you're thinking and just stop it, Jackie." Her glances at the ground were too damn obvious. She wouldn't jump, she wouldn't.
"You don't know me at all, Hyde. You never did," she whispered.
Hyde. She called him Hyde. This was not like when she was starting to call him Steven but stopped and called him Hyde. She used to never call him by his last name like everyone else. Even all the other times they have broken up. "That's not true and you know it, doll. I know you better than anybody else," he told her.
Because he did. He knew what she was thinking by watching her. Of course there were times he would never know what she would, because she was completely unpredictable. And he loved it.
She scoffed and let out a bitter laugh. But then he began to wonder – when did she get this bitter? His mind shook it off. "Really? Because I don't think you ever knew me."
He looked at her. "I know you don't like being alone."
Her eyes narrowed at him. "But you left me alone didn't you?" she argued.
He grimaced. "I'm not the smartest person there is." With all the crap he put her through in the last year, he could take Kelso's King helmet away from him easily.
"But you sure act like you are, don't you?" she questioned.
He closed his eyes tightly and after a moment of silence he spoke up, "I really screwed up, didn't I?" It was barely a question; they both knew the answer without giving it much thought.
She stared down on the ground, repeating his words over and over. I really screwed up, didn't I? No freaking way you screwed up, she thought sarcastically, no freaking way.
She found herself rocking back and forth, from her thighs to be in the air to her thighs on the Water Tower. You don't even have to jump, she thought to herself, just push off. Push yourself off right in front of him and he'll feel guilty for the rest of his life.
And as her body pushed off she felt his grip on her arm. She turned to look at him and removed his grip off him once again but she found herself unsuccessful. She felt herself began to hit him, punch him, anything to get him to leave her alone.
"Jackie, would you knock it off?" he asked angrily.
"Get off me!" she almost shouted. He ignored her, got up and lifted her to her feet. "Stop!"
"C'mon," he whispered and led her to the ladder but she continued punching. He didn't do anything just remained still.
He watched her as she hit him with her anger and he tried to look her straight in the eyes.
She punched him with all her might, it felt like hours to her but it had been mere minutes. Then she was tired, so tired. She hadn't felt this drained since the last time she cried. But when she felt her hands go to her cheeks she felt tears. She always had to damn cry, she always had to show others her weakness.
His arms wrapped around her but she pushed him away. "No!" she yelled but it came out as a whisper. "You don't get to comfort me; you don't get to act like you did nothing wrong and that everything's OK because it's not!"
He didn't frown but instead remained – not Zen, not emotionless –Steven. The Steven that had cared for her. It took everything in the world to not let him comfort her when she noticed. She hadn't seen Steven for so long it had felt like he had disappeared without a word. It had been Steven she had missed for a long time, not Hyde.
"I know," he murmured to her. She stared into his blue eyes; she had always loved his eyes. "I know I screwed up, I realize how damn stupid I was but you know what I'm gonna do now?" She gave him a puzzled look. "I'm gonna fix it, I promise, doll.
"What if I don't want you to fix it? I don't need you, Ste –Hyde. I don't need you at all." It was the biggest lie she had ever said in her life.
"You may not need me but I sure as hell need you," he told her.
She looked away from him. "What makes you think I'll forgive you?"
He sighed at her words. What makes you think I'll forgive you? He knew she wouldn't make it easy for him. "Jackie, I'm sorry." She said nothing and he took her closer down to the ladder. "C'mon, doll." She closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath before going down the ladder. He followed after her and when they reached down he pulled her into his arms and repeated himself, "I'm so sorry, Jackie."
She wiped her tears and pulled away from his embrace. "Steven, no," she whispered softly.
He stared at her, she called him Steven. "Just let me fix this."
"What makes you think there's something to fix?"
He rubbed his eyes and shut them tightly."You don't even have to love me," he told her, "You don't have to do anything, doll. Just…just let me try to fix this." He was getting pathetic and he knew it but at moment it didn't matter.
"Steven, I really don't think there's anything left for us."
He was gonna have to talk and explain his feelings wasn't he? There goes his Zen. He shook his head at her. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to start, "Sam meant nothing to me. I was just trying to get over you." She winced at her name but said nothing. "Every time I burned you…I just wanted to get over you, doll. And I couldn't do it, nothing worked." She stared at him, unsure of what she should say. He pulled her closer to him. He took a deep breath and paused before saying, "Jackie, I love you."
She looked deep in his eyes, and gave a small smile. "I know."
"Just…let's just start over, doll."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "OK," she whispered. He could see how tired she looked, it was all his damn fault, in the last few months she was always tired. He wrapped his arms around her and she gave a weak smile without saying another word. He wondered how long it would until she would be loud and demanding again or in other words, how long until he fixed everything.
So what do you think? YES or No, just no? Leave a review, positive or negative (although if you're gonna leave a negative review can you please explain why it's bad so I can improve). Be completely honest, I'm pretty sure I can take it.