A/N: And another chapter posted! Sorry this one is kind of short, but that's because I have big plans for next chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter 6- Taking Over Me- Evanescence
(You don't remember me but I remember you.
I lay awake and try so hard not to think of you.
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do.
I believe in you, I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you, to live, to breathe.
You're taking over me.)
It was nearly midnight when Sunny decided to take a shower before bed. Just as she planned, she would be telling Dean about her demon deal at the very last minute. She stepped into the tub and allowed the hot water to rain down on her face, dreading having to tell her fiancee what she'd been hiding from him. She knew, however, if she backed out of telling him, Cas would do the honors and she couldn't let that happen. As she washed her hair, the same questions repeated in her thoughts:
How is Dean going to take the news? How mad is he going to be? Will he understand? Will he forgive me?
Moving on to shaving her legs, she began answering those questions:
Of course he'll be angry. How couldn't he be? I've been keeping it secret from him for over a year now. He might understand why I did it, but that doesn't make it any less terrible. It doesn't make ME any less terrible. He's never going to forgive me.
Finishing up, she sighed, put her razor back into its holder, and shut the water off, her heart beating faster as she came closer to telling him. She made her way to the bedroom and changed into clean clothes- a white t-shirt and grey yoga shorts- then used the towel to dry her hair.
"I assume you haven't told Dean, yet." Cas' deep, gruff voice infiltrated her thoughts.
"Jesus!" she gasped, startled at his sudden appearance. "Cas, what the fuck!"
"My apologies." he shrugged, "I did wait until you were decent."
"That's...comforting." she muttered, giving him an annoyed glare. "And no. I haven't told him yet."
"Why not?" he demanded, tilting his head to the side- something he did when he was genuinely confused.
"Uh, we were a tad busy hunting- and killing- a vengeance demon, today." she replied, tossing the damp towel into a hamper. "I was going to tell him before bed."
"It's midnight." he pointed out, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Yeah." was all she said back.
"You should tell him now." he pushed, standing in front of her to get her full attention.
"And how should I begin to tell him, Cas?" she demanded, throwing her hands up. "Hey Dean, I have exactly 4 years left on Earth, because I sold my soul. I sold my soul, to a demon, because I was stuck in the future- where the world was completely destroyed by an apocalypse- and I had no other way to get back to the present, to stop the apocalypse from happening. Does that sound good, Cas?"
"Well, yes." he nodded. "That is the truth."
"You don't get it, Cas." she scoffed, shaking her head. "There's no 'good' way to tell someone something this incredibly crappy, not after hiding it for so long."
She released a heavy sigh and slumped on the edge of the bed. Cas looked down to the floor, his eyebrows still furrowed.
"What were you going to do, once your time on Earth ends?" he asked, "If you keep this secret the whole time? Isn't it better to confess, rather than have him think you just disappeared?"
She was silent, not even knowing the answer herself. She wouldn't let herself think of letting Dean believe she had just abandoned him and Sam, one day, without warning. It hurt her too much to imagine it.
"He'd search for you. He'd go on- for the rest of his life- searching you, and he'd never find you because..." he trailed off.
"I'd rather him not know I'm rotting in Hell, forever." she grumbled. "He'll feel guilty. I made the deal to save him from being killed by Lucifer. Him and Sam. There was no way I was getting out there alive, not with Lucifer standing in the way of the exit, and not with his demon servants crawling around. Making that deal...it was the only way to get back home, to Dean."
Cas observed Sunny, in silence, for a few moments. It was clear to him, she loved Dean. He was still confounded by her secret 'meeting' with the demon prince, Damien, and it still bothered him that something was blocking him from reading her thoughts, but he could see in her eyes, hear in her voice, that she was in love with Dean and just wanted to protect him.
"He'll understand." he said, simply. "If you tell him exactly what you just told me. He'll understand."
"Maybe." she shrugged, "But will he understand why I've kept it from him, all this time?...I'm not so sure."
"You'll never know if you don't try." the blue-eyed angel said.
"Why are you doing this to me, Cas?" Sunny whined, cradling her head in her hands.
"Because Dean's my friend." he answered, simply. "And...I could sense that you were suffering; carrying this secret on your own, piling one lie after another to keep it contained. It's hurting you, Sunshine. I just want your suffering to end. And I want Dean to be able to find some kind of peace, with it."
"He'll look for a way to get me out of it." she reminded him. "He'll never stop trying and...and I'm afraid he's going to get himself killed trying to get me out my own mess."
"He loves you." Cas agreed, "He'd do anything to make sure you were safe and...alive."
"But there's no way out." she argued, "This isn't just some crossroad's deal, Cas. There's no loopholes, no backdoor we can sneak out of...not with this kind of deal."
She stood up and ran her fingers through her damp hair, her eyes glued to the floor as she thought of the opening line, for her confession, to Dean. She glanced at Cas, who nodded.
"I'll leave you alone to do what needs to be done." he said, and with the sound of his fluttering wings, he was gone.
Sunny sighed and headed for the door. Her fingers wrapped around the doorknob and she pulled it open, but when she moved to leave the room, she found herself staring up at Dean's face. He had a mixture of anger and sadness in his expression, a tell tale indication that he had heard her talking to Cas.
He looked down at her with disappointment, his now green eyes glossy and full of emotion.
"You sold your soul?" he whispered, his voice breaking toward the end.
She swallowed hard, a lump forming in her throat.
"Dean." she breathed, her gray eyes widening. "H-how long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough." he replied, shortly.
"Then..." she started, quietly, backing away from the door as Dean stepped inside the room. 'Then you know why I had to do it...right?"
He sat on the end of the bed and buried his face in his hands, ignoring her- at first. Sunny closed the door, then joined him on the bed.
"I'm sorry, Dean. That's not how I wanted you to find out." she whispered, reaching out to take his hand, but he brushed her off and stood up.
Sighing, she dropped her arm into her lap and looked away from him.
"Fine." she muttered, "Be mad at me. I deserve it for saving your life and sacrificing my own."
"That's not-" Dean snapped, stopping abruptly, to make sure he didn't yell so loud it'd wake up Bobby. Sam and Roxie were out on a food run, which helped a lot since Dean didn't feel like involving them just yet.
"That's not fair, Sunny." he said in a hushed tone, "You told me that place was fake, that the angels fabricated it to scare us off the mission. You told me CAS brought you back. You lied to me! You had Cas lie to me! So don't you dare throw that in my face, not after lying this whole time."
"I shouldn't have said that," she agreed, sheepishly. "I'm sorry, okay?"
"Why?" he asked, shaking his head. "Why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me you made a deal?"
"I was scared." she answered, scoffing. "I knew you'd try to find a way to get me out of it and I knew you wouldn't stop trying until..."
She trailed off as she looked up at him, into his eyes. She sniffled, softly and shook her head, feeling guilty and pathetic.
"You were never going to tell me." he realized, his eyes partially narrowed as he watched her.
When she didn't respond, he chuckled, dryly and shook his head.
"What...what were you gonna do when your time was up, Sunny?" he asked, "Were you gonna 'mysteriously disappear'? Let me go crazy for the rest of my life, thinking you were kidnapped, or something? Because I would never, for one second, ever believe you just 'ran away'...Or would you have least left a note?"
"I don't know, Dean!" she exclaimed, tears falling from her eyes, as she listened to him say out loud what she could barely let herself visualize in her head. She felt horrible for ever thinking she could do that to Dean, in the first place. "I'm just...taking one step at time, taking one damn day at a time, here. In case you haven't noticed, I'm running out of just that: TIME."
Dean looked to the floor, suddenly remembering what the vengeance demon had said, before Sunny attacked it.
"That's what the demon meant, when she said I 'didn't know'." he pieced it together, his eyes darting in her direction. "She could tell, couldn't she? That your soul is marked- or whatever?"
"Yeah." she sighed, nodding. "I didn't want you to find out that way."
"You should've told me." he told her, crouching, slightly, to look her in the face.
"I'm telling you now." she replied, her voice breaking.
"Yeah, I'm guessing Cas had to force you to, huh?" he guessed, "That's how it sounded when you two were talking."
"I wanted to tell you, Dean." she insisted, "But at the same time, I didn't want to. In the end, I knew you had to know. And I have to say, you're reacting just as I feared you would; you hate me."
Dean froze in tracks, upon hearing those words. That had hurt. His eyes softened as he moved closer to her.
"I don't hate you, Sunshine." he said, taking her hand in his and squeezing. "I could never hate you. I'm hurt and I'm...confused, and I'm tired. There's always something, with us."
He stood up and moved to the bed, sitting beside her and wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, her face grazing against his neck.
"And you're right." he added, "I am going to find you a way out of this deal."
"Dean." Sunny sighed, exasperatedly, as she went to argue, but Dean cut her off,
"I'm not going to just let you go to Hell." he concluded. "We have four years, right?"
"Right." she replied, glumly, nodding.
She inhaled, deeply, watching him as he spoke about wanting to save her from Hell. He was so determined. Just as she predicted. He would never give up on her, he loved her too much to do that, and she loved him. If he thought there was even the slightest chance he could get her out of her deal, she would have faith in him. It was the least she could do for him.
She was actually surprised he had taken it as well as he did. She expected him to be much angrier, for much longer. She expected him to not want to talk to her or even look at her, for lying to him and keeping secrets. Then, again, he still didn't know about her refusal to get pregnant with Munro again, and who she had made the deal with. Once he found out about all that...his feelings towards her may change, just a little.
"So..." he said, pulling her from her thoughts, "How did you meet up with this demon, anyway?"
"Uh, it was after Roxie and I were separated." she answered, thinking of a way to tell him the truth without giving away it was Damien, who had found her. "Lucifer didn't actually show up and slam the door...I didn't even know he had gotten her until...the demon showed me. But we were going up the stairs, when I stopped to rest. She made it past the threshold, but I stopped just before it. The door slammed shut and wouldn't open, so I told her I'd meet up with her after finding another way up. I found another door and ended up in a work room or office...that's when he showed up."
She sighed, sadly. Dean brushed her bangs from her eyes and gave her a weak smile, as she continued.
"He showed me what was going on back on the ground floor- where you, Sam and the other hunters were fighting Lucifer..." she remembered, "but instead of 'fighting', you were dying. I saw Lucifer holding Roxie up by her throat- I still have no clue how he got her or why he brought her back downstairs to kill her- Sam was by his feet, already dead. And you-" she paused, looking down at her hands, as she picked at the loose thread in the comforter.
"You were barely alive. You couldn't see me for some reason, but I watched as you took your last breath, right after Lucifer killed Roxie." she sniffled. "Anyway, the demon told me there was a way I could prevent all of it from happening. That he could take me back to my own time, and prevent the apocalypse, but I'd have to make a deal. So, I took it."
She shrugged, blinking away tears. He nodded, realizing she really had no choice, that if he was in that position, he would have done the same thing. He would sell his soul, in a heartbeat, if it meant saving her, or Sam's, lives.
"Did you get his name?" he asked, "Maybe we can summon him, trap him and torture him, until he drops the deal."
She turned to look at him, hesitantly. She couldn't tell him Damien was her deal holder. It would crush Dean. He'd be pissed that she made a deal with him, of all demons. Furious that she'd waited a year to tell him Damien was free from his cage. He would summon Damien, he'd threaten him, and try to attack him and, of course, Damien would attack back, and he was one demon that couldn't be messed with. As much as Sunny hated to admit it, Damien was the devil's son, and he was damn near invincible. They've 'killed' him multiple times, only to have him come right back, good as new.
"I didn't get his name." she shook her head, shrugging. "I didn't ask, I didn't care. I wasn't exactly in a clear state of mind, after watching my whole family die a slow, and painful, death."
"Yeah." he replied, softly, "It's okay. We'll find out who it is and we'll figure something out. I promise."
He pressed his lips against her forehead and pulled her close, in a tight hug.
"I won't let anything happen to you." he whispered.
They heard a loud banging, coming from downstairs, and immediately went to investigate. The sounds of Roxie and Sam talking eased their suspicions. They reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the kitchen, greeting the pair as they dug through the take out bags.
"Hey, Rox." Sunny smiled, hoping for friendly conversation.
"Hey." she replied, uninterested.
The blonde pulled out a small bowl, with a plastic fork and salad dressing, then made her way around the brunette huntress, crossing the door-frame, leading into the living room. The three remaining in the kitchen, watched as she sat on the couch and picked up the TV remote, settling on a sitcom, before eating her food.
"Well." Sunny said, offended. "She is just...unpleasant."
Dean held out a hand and gave her a knowing look, "Right? That's what I said!"
Sam rolled his eyes, in exasperation, but they were right. Since she woke up, she had been nothing but a pain in the ass. Unpleasant was actually putting it NICELY.
"Does she hate us that much?" Sunny scoffed, "I mean, we haven't done anything to her, and she acts like she's better than us, like she's better than Roxie. The real Roxie, I mean."
"I don't know." Sam sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I mean, at first I wrote it off as her being confused and scared, not being able to remember anything before she started hunting, and being forced to live with a bunch of strangers...well, as far as she's concerned. But, I don't know anymore. I'm starting to think she's just being a bitch because she can get away with it."
Sunny hummed in agreement, narrowing her eyes as she thought about it. Suddenly, the ends of her lips twitched upward, in a smirk.
"Well then..." she said, deviously, looking between Dean and Sam as she leaned forward at the table, "Maybe it's time her Free Bitch Pass was revoked. She wants to be a bitch, just to be a bitch..." she paused, chuckling, inwardly. "then she's gonna get it right back."
Dean grinned, clearly loving the idea. Personally, he was sick of Roxie treating his brother like crap. All he'd done was take care of her and make sure she was as comfortable as possible, clinging to the hope that she'd regain her memory and be the woman he was in love with again. He'd let that love for the old Roxie completely take over his ego and pride, becoming her spineless little slave. Most celebrity dogs were treated with more respect than Sam, and Dean hated it.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Sunny." Sam argued, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I really don't want to agitate her any further than she already is. It could push her away, maybe even cause her to take off or do something reckless. Even if she doesn't have anywhere else to go, it won't stop her from actually going."
"I'm sorry, memory block or not, there's no justifiable excuse to treat a person like they're obligated to keep them happy." Sunny pointed out, "That's just mean and incredibly selfish. We have to walk on eggshells or poor Roxie will bitch and moan, something she does non-stop- no matter how much she gets her way or has handed to her. Her memory's gone, not her humanity."
"Yeah, unless her manners and common courtesy was blocked, too." Dean added, sarcastically. "Besides, we have a much bigger issue to deal with now."
Sam furrowed his brows, in confusion, as he looked over at his brother.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Welp, it turns out Sunny has been keeping an extra salty secret, all year." Dean smirked.
"What?" Sam demanded, shifting his gaze to Sunny, who gave him a weak smile.
"Remember that 'fake future' she and Roxie were sent to, the one that was supposedly fabricated by the angels who sent them there?" Dean asked.
"Yeeeah." the younger Winchester nodded.
"Turns out, that was the real future." Dean elaborated.
He told Sam what Sunny had told him, filling him in on her deal. Sam sighed, heavily, shock and confusion written all over his face.
"Wow." he breathed, looking up from the table, where he sat, at Sunny. "That explains why you were acting weird, all year."
"Oh, so you noticed it, too?" Dean asked, sarcastically, earning a light punch from Sunny.
"Stop making fun of me." she pouted, "I'm fucking traumatized."
"Anyway-" Dean said, glaring at Sunny before turning his attention to Sam, "Now we have to figure out how to get her out of the deal, and save her from being dragged to Hell for eternity."
"It would help if we knew this demon's name." Sam pointed out, shrugging a shoulder.
"Ah, but alas, it was never mentioned OR asked for." the older brother announced, again, glaring at his fiancee. "She was too distracted to care, apparently."
"Okay, seriously, Dean." Sunny whined, "It's not funny anymore."
She turned to leave the kitchen, her eyes gloomy and sad as Dean made her feel more and more guilty. Joking or not, it hurt. But then again, she was still keeping things from him. Maybe she deserved a little hazing. Dean quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist, effectively pulling her back to him and holding her still, in front of him.
"I'm just kidding, babe." he assured her, brushing her bangs out of her face with his fingertips.
She avoided eye contact, looking sideways and wrapping her arms around herself, self-consciously. Dean used his fingers to lift her chin, forcing her to look at him, then unwrapped her arms, guiding them over his shoulders.
"I don't blame you, at all." he whispered, smiling, softly. "And I don't want you to feel bad about it, either."
Sam got up from the table, having finished eating, and placed the wrappers from the take-out in the garbage. He went to leave the kitchen when he noticed Roxie was passed out the couch.
"You guys might as well take the bedroom tonight." he sighed, motioning to the sleeping form on the couch. "I'm taking the recliner tonight."
"Yes!" Dean exclaimed, tilting his head back in relief. "That couch kills my back."
"Hate that couch." Sunny muttered, in contempt, glaring at that tattered thing.
"Night, guys." the shaggy haired hunter waved, shuffling toward the chair in the corner of the livingroom.
Sunny pulled away, to exit the kitchen as well, but Dean grabbed her waist and brought her back, taking her face in his hands and tracing her bottom lip with his thumb.
"You okay?" he asked, his voice so soft, she barely heard him.
"Y-yeah." she whispered back, nodding. "I will be, anyway. You have no idea how awful this has been for me, keeping my deal a secret from you...dealing with it by myself, and just...being afraid, all the time. I was miserable, mostly because I was lying to you. I was lying and hiding shit from you, and the guilt just made it a hundred times worse. I admit, now that you know, and don't totally hate me for it, a lot of that fear and misery seemed to disappear."
"Good." he replied, "Because, to be honest, 'miserable' doesn't suit you and it was making me miserable. I was terrified, Sunshine...knowing something was wrong, but not being able to help you or get you to talk to me, so I could at least try to understand...it hurt."
"I'm so sorry I put you through that." she shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "I should've told you, right away, I don't know what I was thinking. I was just afraid you'd hate me."
"I told you, that could never happen." he repeated what he told her earlier, "No matter what, nothing could change the way I feel about you."
"But what if I had done something...really bad?" she asked, "What if-"
"Other than making a demon deal, are there any other secrets you're keeping from me?" he asked, arching a brow.
She thought, shaking her head 'no'.
"Alright, then." he smirked, his hand now pressed against her jawline.
She smiled, weakly, and looked up at him. She wanted to tell him about Damien, wanted to tell him everything else she was hiding, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. He may not be mad at her for making a deal, but she knew he'd be pissed at her for everything else. She was sick of repeating it, in her mind. She wanted to just forget it all.
She was pulled from her thoughts, as Dean guided her face toward his, pressing his lips, gently, against hers. She fell into the kiss, easily, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself against his body. He brought his hands up her sides, then back down again, to her ass. Their sweet, timid kiss suddenly grew into a lust-filled, passionate make-out session, Dean's tongue finding its way into Sunny's mouth. She whimpered, softly, as his fingers ran through her hair, gently grabbing by her roots to push her lips harder against his.
They hadn't been intimate since their date night, although it had only been two days, it felt like two months. The past year had been next to miserable for them, which made for very few heated nights for the couple, resulting in a bit of a strain on their relationship. But that night, that incredible, amazing, awesome night had reignited that fire, they had shared, when they first met and became official. Hunting together again, saving those people from those monsters at the restaurant, it put the sense of purpose back into their lives, back in their relationship.
And now that they may have to part, for eternity, in just a few short years, Dean didn't want to waste any of that time being angry, or miserable, or bitter- in any way. He was definitely going to do whatever it took to find her a way out, and he just had to hold onto that sliver of hope. He could not imagine Sunny being gone, from his life. He couldn't even think about it, without tearing up and wanting to get drunk. But he had to stay strong and determined. He had to save her.
He pulled back, quickly, moving to her neck and hungrily kissing and nipping at her skin- using his hand to hold up her hair, to keep it out of his mouth's way. He left a warm, damp trail of kisses and gentle bites down her neck, ending at her shoulder, his other hand pressed against her back, between her shoulders. He returned his focus to her face, and brought his hand to her cheek, caressing her cheekbone with his thumb as he looked into her hooded eyes.
"I love you." he whispered, inching closer.
He brought his other hand to her other cheek, and pulled her towards him, kissing her softly.
"I love you more than anything else in this world." he told her, "I will do anything I have to, to save you, Sunshine."
Her eyes popped all the way open, her lustful gaze dissipated immediately. She looked scared, her breath hitching, in response, as she stared at him. She forced a smile, for his sake, though her eyes were still fear stricken.
"I know you will." she replied, finally, her voice trembling. "And that's exactly why I'm terrified."
That voice...she's heard it call to her before...in her dreams.
"Roxie come on!" another voice, this time it's familiar.
Roxie looked around for her friend, but couldn't see past the many trees surrounding her. She knew this place, she had spent time in these woods as a young child. But why was she here now?
She felt herself smile, as she quickly looked from one side, to another, searching out the owner of the voice that had called to her. She made her way through a series of bushes and over several overturned trees, following the sounds of laughter, up ahead.
Wait...she didn't want to go any further into the woods; her body was completely acting on its own. Why was she unable to control her actions? She didn't know where she was going, she was unable to stop herself. Even the smile on her face was involuntary.
She stopped at a small stream, dipping her bare feet into the cool water and giggling. Sounds of twigs snapping, and rustling leaves, grabbed her attention, as she looked into the forest before her. Out from the bushes, came a young, brunette girl, about 14.
"Roxie!" she laughed, "Come on! It's just beyond these trees!"
She recognized the girl as Sunny, and while her mind wanted to ignore her and walk the other way, her body continued to act for itself. She hopped over the stream and joined Sunny, linking her arm with her friend's as they made their way down the dirt path.
That voice again...from before. Who was that?
Sunny didn't seem to hear it, for she mumbled something Roxie couldn't understand, pointing ahead of them to an open field. There were stones planted in the ground...a cemetery, she realized.
She finally regained control of her body, quickly turning around towards the direction of the mysterious voice.
Suddenly everything went dark and all she could see was a faint, red light in front of her. She squinted, trying to get a batter look as the light began to take shape. Slowly, the light molded and shifted, and Roxie realized she was staring straight into the face of a woman.
She swallowed hard, as the woman glared at her, her skin seemed to be burnt or melted. She looked inhuman, like a monster, and she sensed a dark presence about her, as if this woman wanted to hurt her. She went to run, but before she could even blink in another direction, the woman's face came rushing at Roxie's, screaming shrilly and loudly as she came closer.
Sam was jolted awake by a loud, sharp gasping sound and immediately sat straight up, in the recliner he had been crashing on. Blinking away the blurriness of sleep, he looked over at the couch and saw Roxie clutching at her chest, deep, heaving breaths making it rise and fall at a fast rate.
"Rox...?" he hesitated, slowly getting up, "Are you alright?"
Startled, she darted her eyes in his direction, but didn't answer him. She closed her eyes, relieved she had been dreaming and it was over, her heart slowly returning to its normal rhythm.
"I-I'm fine." she finally replied, shaking her head. "I just had a nightmare."
"About what?" he instinctively asked, regretting it immediately and expecting her to snap at him for it.
She did glare at him, in annoyance, but she didn't lash out at him. Instead, she lied.
"I don't remember."
Sam looked down, nodding. He knew she was lying, but he knew not to push her, either. Although, he was deeply intrigued by the nightmare, since there was a chance her memories could come back to her in dream form- he had thought of this just days prior. Could she have possibly had one of those tonight? Maybe a memory about hunting some monster, that had frightened her? He was aching to know for sure, but she obviously didn't want to talk about it.
All he could do was hope her memory was coming back, even if it was in dream form and in bits and pieces. He was still on the hunt to finding that spell, to unblock her memories, and he was becoming more and more impatient. He had to keep looking.
Roxie settled back down, onto the couch, praying she wouldn't have another nightmare- like that one- again.
"Y'know..." Sam said, shrugging his shoulder, "If there's anything you need, I'm here for you. No matter what it is."
She looked over at him, confused. Even she knew she was a total bitch and had been nothing but, the whole time she'd been there. Yet, Sam was still willing to be there for her, and put up with all her complaining, and ranting, and insults. He must've really loved her, to be so forgiving and lenient with her behavior towards him- and the rest of them.
"Thanks." she mumbled, so softly, he almost didn't catch it.
And it caught him off guard, to be honest. She hadn't shown any kind of appreciation, or compassion, for him since she woke up and it was a bit shocking.
"And, thank you for taking me shopping today." she added, reluctantly. "That...it was really nice of you to, uh, do that for me."
"Uh, yeah." he nodded, stunned. "Sure, no problem. You're welcome."
There was a long silence, between them, as Roxie contemplated. Sam processed what she had just said to him, out of nowhere, after treating him so terribly. He took it as a definitely sign that he was making progress with her. How else could it be explained?
"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch, these past few days." she blurted, speaking quickly, as if the words were made of fire and burned her tongue. "I just...it's so confusing, not knowing anyone who claims to know me. Telling me I like certain things and so certain things and...love certain people. Everyone expecting me to be a certain way and act like this person I don't know. Then they throw monsters and demons in my face, like I'm supposed to think that's normal and-and sane!"
She scoffed, shaking her head as she sat back up.
"I just...didn't know how else to react to all of this." she admitted, shrugging. "I'm angry. I'm mad that I don't know any of you, I'm pissed that I don't know anything about my 'old' self. I'm angry that all of this is happened to me. Why did this happen to me?"
Sam stared at her, with sad eyes, as he listened intently to every word. She was opening up to him. She felt guilty for treating him like crap and was now confiding in him about her feelings. He was so getting through to her, he knew it!
Realizing she was spilling her guts, she eyed Sam, warily, and became quiet again.
"I didn't mean to unload all this...sentimentality on you." she chuckled, a half smile playing on her face.
He made her smile!
"No, no!" he quickly replied, "It's no problem! I told you, I'm here to help with anything you need, even if it's just someone to unload on."
He groaned at his choice of words and rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, bad wording." he sighed, looking down in exasperation.
He perked back up when he heard her chuckling, softly. Seeing her smile and hearing her laugh, it was incredible. He laughed along with her, feeling like he was with his Roxie again, if only for a few moments. They were quiet again, a few seconds later, the two of them looking at each other and enjoying the company for once. She may not have the same feelings, for him, she had before, but that didn't mean she couldn't be his friend. It was better to have friends and let her guard down a bit, then to be hated by everyone and be angry all the time.
"I do like you, Sam." she confessed, smirking at his wide eyed reaction. "I think I'd like to be friends."
He internally flinched at the term 'friends', his heart lurching in his chest. His history with Roxie would definitely prove 'friends' as an understatement but it was a start, and he wasn't about to risk her withdrawing again by pushing their past relationship on her. He smiled at her, understandingly, and nodded.
The next morning, Dean woke up with a new mission. It had been established the night before that he would search for a way to get Sunny out of her demon deal, but now it was time to do the actual searching. Trouble was, where would he start? He figured the first thing he'd have to do was research crossroad demons and demon deals from books, and Bobby's study just so happened to be filled with just those books.
He was up before anyone else, slowly and quietly getting out of the bed and making his way to the kitchen, to brew some coffee. He was going to need it. Sunny barely stirred as he snuck off the mattress, and he glanced at his brother, once he was downstairs, as he walked through the livingroom. It was weird, being the only one awake in the house. It was eerily quiet but nonetheless peaceful.
With his coffee mug in hand, he entered Bobby's study and sauntered over to the bookshelf. He groaned at the size of the thing, and number of books residing in it. Had there always been this many books?
"Gonna be long day." he muttered, grabbing the first book on demons.
It was a couple more hours, before Sunny and Sam woke up, meeting in the kitchen and giving each other silent greetings.
"Dean still asleep?" he asked her, pouring coffee into a mug.
"Uh, no, actually..." she furrowed her brows, "I woke up and he wasn't in bed. I figured he was down here, or using the bathroom."
"Bobby's not up yet," Sam pointed out, "Coffee was made before we got here, so...He must be around."
Sunny sighed, dropping spoonful after spoonful of sugar into her own coffee. She wondered if Dean was already looking through the books in Bobby's study, researching demon deals and finding out everything he could about them. She knew there was no way out of it, but if it gave Dean some kind of hope there was, how could she stop him from looking? Part of her hoped there was a way, and that Dean would find it and things would be okay. The other part, wanted him to just accept it and not waste what little time- they had- reading books.
"So..." Sam said, pulling her away from her thoughts. "How are you doing with all this? The whole 'selling your soul' thing, I mean."
"I think I'm handling it pretty well." she joked, shrugging as she smirked at him.
"Really?" he mused, giving her an incredulous look. "You're not terrified beyond belief of going to Hell...for eternity?"
She shook her head, confidently. Of course she wasn't scared. Damien had made it very clear that she wouldn't be harmed, while in Hell. She wouldn't be hung on a rack or tortured. So fear wasn't an issue with her. If anything, she was just terribly depressed about it. She'd be torn away from everything she knew and loved, from Dean and Sam and Bobby, even Roxie and Cas. She'd be stuck in an evil, dark, and monster-infested world, until the end of time.
Sam sighed, heavily. He didn't believe her, of course. There was no way she wasn't scared of being tortured and enduring never ending pain for the rest of forever. He was terrified just thinking about her in that position, he was terrified for her. But he gave her a soft smile and nodded.
"I'm depressed about it, of course." she added, shaking her head. "I mean, I hate thinking about having to part with Dean, to never see him again. Or you- or Bobby, and everyone else. I don't know how I'll be able to keep it together while I'm in Hell."
Just then, Dean wandered in and greeted them, holding an empty mug in his hand.
"What have you been doing all morning, Winchester?" Sunny questioned, welcoming him into her arms as he approached.
"Reading." he replied, simply, pressing light kisses against her neck.
He pulled back to look her in the eye, taking her hand in his free one and bringing it up to his lips, smirking. She smirked back and pulled him closer, by his shirt, to give him a quick peck on the lips. He winked at her, before backing away, and reaching over to grab the coffee pot.
"Looks like I gotta make more coffee..." he noticed, swirling the tiny bit of coffee left in the pot.
Sunny bit her lip, thoughtfully, her gaze dropping from the pot to the floor as she realized something...
Dean would be spending most of his time researching, and was bound to come across something that could lead him to the discovery of who she had made her deal with. He would eventually find out, if he kept at the searching. If I somehow found out Damien owned her soul, he'll definitely know she had kept that from him, and be upset. It was one loose end she had to tie up.
Sunny knocked, rapidly, on Damien's 'apartment' door, wanting to get this over with and leave, as soon as she possibly could. She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to see him, much less talk to him, but she couldn't risk Dean finding out about him or getting himself hurt because his search was getting too close for comfort. She had to set Damien straight.
The door opened and the prince furrowed his brows at her.
"A visit from Sunshine?" he asked, "In broad daylight? How...unexpected."
She rolled her eyes and pushed past him, into the apartment. He paused, for a moment, wondering what could've possibly drove her to come see him, after her last visit- which she said would be her last.
"So much for staying away." he sighed, closing the door and turning to face her, with a skeptical expression.
"I need to talk to you about something." she explained, crossing her arms.
"Goody." he muttered, walking by her to the mini bar by the back wall.
She watched as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.
"Really?" she scoffed, "It's not even noon."
"Well, it's...what's that cliché saying?" he replied, looking up as if thinking. "Oh, yeah. It's time to drink somewhere- or whatever."
He took a quick sip and looked at her expectantly.
"So?" he ventured, "What do you need to talk about with me...of all people?"
"I told Dean about my deal." she told him, simply, watching for a reaction.
"But you didn't tell him you made it with me." he nodded, "You mentioned not mentioning me last time. So what?"
"So...he's gone on a super research mission to find me a way out of it." she scoffed at him, "And sooner or later he's going to find out you're involved, and he's going to try to summon you and threaten you to reverse it."
"But it can't be reversed." he said, casually, before taking another sip from his glass.
"I know that." she admitted. "He...doesn't want to just give up on me."
It was clear to Damien that she felt immense guilt for all she's done. Dean not wanting to just let her go without a fight, well, that just made it worse. He finished off his bourbon and returned to the bar to refill his glass, with his back turned to her, he spoke,
"And what is it you want from me?"
"I need you to promise me you won't hurt him." she replied, boldly. "No matter what he tries to do or how close he gets to reversing the deal-"
"Which there isn't." he interjected, looking over his shoulder at her.
"Promise you won't hurt or kill him." she repeated, "Don't send any monsters or demon servants after him, don't do anything that could hurt him."
Using super speed, he appeared in front of her, staring into her eyes as she looked up at him, timidly. She was trying so hard to look tough and intimidating- it was kinda cute. After a few moments, he smirked at her.
"Okay, babe." he nodded, his eyes flashing mischievously "I'll promise not to kill him, if you do something for me, in return."
Her heart lurched in her chest, dreading what he'd want from her in exchange for sparing Dean's life, if he figures everything out.
"W-what do you want?" she asked, her voice faltering a little.
"That little 'keep away' rule of yours..." he began, tilting his head. "Toss it."
"What?" she gaped, not expecting that, at all.
"I want to be able to approach you, whenever I want- when you're alone, that is." he demanded, finishing off his second glass.
"Damien." she scoffed, shaking her head. "You'll have me all to yourself in 4 damn years. Why do I have to suffer in your presence before then?"
Before she could say another word, or even blink, he used his super speed to slam her into the wall behind her, followed by the sound of his glass shattering, as it hit the floor. Again, her heart lurched, but this time it was from being dizzy and disoriented. She felt nauseous and the lights seemed brighter, hurting her eyes.
"Yeah, sorry about that..." Damien whispered in her ear, "Mortals aren't exactly accustomed to super speed."
He grabbed her by her chin and made her look at him, his bright blue eyes intense.
"You come to me, demanding I do you a 'favor', after telling me- the other night- to stay away from you." he pointed out, his lips just millimeters away. "All I want, Sunny, is to be able to talk to you, be near you. You'd think it'd be the least you could do, after I saved your life and all."
She swallowed hard, trembling, slightly, under his firm grip; one hand wrapped around the nape of her neck, the other grasping her thigh, holding her in place. Even when she tried breaking free, he pulled her upright and kept her still, against the wall.
"Okay." she nodded, her voice coming in a harsh, whisper. "Fine. Appear whenever you want."
He released her, suddenly, causing her to stumble, a step. She rubbed the back of her neck and gave him a pained look, which stabbed at his heart. He felt guilty for being rough with her, but he knew, deep down, she liked it. That's why she never scolded him or yelled at him for it. He walked over to the minibar, and took out two glass cups. He poured bourbon in both and carrying them over to Sunny, who remained where he left her.
She eyed him as he held one of the glasses out to her, but she took it and downed it one gulp. She regretted it, immediately, as her eyes watered and her throat burned, mercilessly. God, that was awful stuff.
"I'm sorry." he apologized, his eyes softened and full of guilt. "I just...It gets lonely, up here on the surface. There's no one to talk to or hang out with."
"What, you never heard of going out and meeting people?" she questioned, incredulously, arching a brow at him. "Maybe go on some dates? Y'know, online dating is pretty popular now a days..."
He chuckled at her, amused by her suggestions, but shook his head.
"Humans?" he asked, giving her a skeptical look. "I tried to kill them all, Sunny. I'm not exactly a 'people' person. And as for 'dating'..." his smile faded as he looked over at her. "Not just any mortal woman can grab my attention."
"What about demons, then?" she offered, out stretching her arms, exasperatedly. "Surely, there are demons in the area you can hook up with?"
She flopped herself down on a couch, and waited for his smart ass answer to that one.
"Ugh, disgusting creatures." he sneered, making a disgusted face. "They're all obsessed with pain and superficial crap. Besides, their only purpose is to be servants to my father and I."
"God, you're so picky!" she grumbled, "No wonder you don't have any friends."
"I have at least one friend." he pointed out, eyeing her.
She caught the look and scoffed, loudly, giving him a stern look.
"No! No way, we are not friends, Damien." she chuckled, incredulously. "Nuh-uh!"
"What would you call our little relationship then?" he wondered, taking her glass cup from her hands and carrying it to the bar.
"It's not a relationship." she shook her head, not sure if she believed it herself. "We just...came to an understanding, I guess. I still hate you."
He laughed, as he poured more alcohol in their glasses, knowing very well she did not hate him. She may not be in love with him, but he was working on that.
"Who're you trying to convince, Sunshine?" he asked, after walking back over to the couch, and handed her the glass full of booze as he sat down next to her.
"Okay, fine." she shrugged, nonchalantly, "Maybe I don't actually hate you, but I certainly wouldn't go as far as calling us friends."
"Why not?" he demanded, innocently. "You're here now, cozy on my couch and drinking my booze, having a decent conversation with me. Friends do that, right?"
"But I wouldn't be here if I didn't need to be." she countered. "I meant what I said, when I told you I didn't want to see you before my time was up..."
"Did you?" he tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. "Or were you just making up an excuse to come see me again?"
"What?" she laughed, a confused expression on her face.
"You can't tell me you were actually worried Dean would find out about me." he explained, "I told you this deal was between me and you only. That means no one else knows about it; not any of my servant demons, not my father, and no one in your little hunter family."
"If he manages to summon a demon and torture it for answers?" she challenged, blinking several times as she took a sip from her glass.
"It won't know shit." he answered, confidently. "None of them do, which means none of them will be able to tell him shit. But he'll keep looking until he finds his answers...looks like you'll have plenty of time alone."
"What about angels? The Vengeance Demon, Dean and I killed, she knew my soul was sold..." she tried, but he shook his head, cutting her off.
"Sure, demons and angels can tell you made a deal." he confirmed, "But it doesn't say who you made the deal with. My name isn't tagged into it."
She watched him, intently, suddenly feeling better about the whole thing. Or maybe it was the booze. Regardless, Damien was certainly very thorough with his secrets. She didn't know whether to be impressed or suspicious. She was feeling tipsy from the bourbon, especially after downing the last of her second glass.
"I suppose you'll be going back to the fiancee, now?" he assumed, taking the glass from her.
"Actually," she smirked, shrugging her shoulder. "I think I'm gonna stay a little longer."
A/N: Ack, sorry for the lack of action in this one. I assure you, there's a whole mess of drama about to unfold on our heroes, and though Dean's reaction to Sunny's deal may not have been very emotional, or nerve wracking, remember: he only got one tiny part of the confession. I promise his reaction to the other half of her secret will be devastating. That will be coming soon, (not too soon but soon enough!) so please stick around!
Next chapter: Roxie suffers from more nightmares and regains some of her memories! But who is this mysterious woman, in her dreams? What does she want with Roxie? Will Roxie tell Sam about her memories coming back, in bits and pieces? What IS the deal with Sunny and her relationship to Damien? Will the Hell Prince take advantage of his new freedom to see Sunny? Find out next chapter! Please, please review!
as she realized she was utterly fucked.