Extensive Record
or, the diary of Jade West.

Jade/Beck, slight Jade/Ryder


Yo. It's Jade. I guess since this is a 'diary' or whatever the heck it's called, you'd expect me to be waxing poetic about the sun streaming through my windows and the glorious days I have. Well, guess what? I'm not gonna wax poetic at all, so if that's what you were expecting, leave. Even if you weren't expecting that, you should probably leave anyway, because if I find out that you've been reading my diary, you're most likely dead meat. So bye.

Anyway, this isn't a 'diary', this is an extensive record of the life of Jade West. I figure one day I'm gonna be famous, and if that happens, my fans would want to know what went on in my life. And also I can use this to blackmail all the idiots in my life at this point – namely Beck Oliver and occasionally Tori Vega, but still.

Like today, Beck walked up to my locker and he just stood there, a stupid smile on his ugly face. Of course, I had to be like, "What do you want?"

"To talk to you," he said all casually, like he's some bad boy from a 1980s movie or something.

"Yeah, not happening," I hissed vehemently, slamming the locker door in his face. But he didn't even move a muscle. If there's one thing I've learned about Beck Oliver, it's that he's not scared of me in any way, shape, or form. Occasionally that's endearing, but mostly it's just annoying.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that we dated for like, nearly three years before he broke up with me? And that I kinda still love him but he takes every opportunity possible to rub it in my face? Yeah, must have forgotten to mention that. Anyway.

"But Jade," Beck continued as I opened my locker door again, looking all crestfallen, like a sad little puppy. "I thought…"

"Yeah, don't do that," I snorted back at him, which made him frown at me.

"I care about you," he said in this compassionate tone, like he was going for the Nobel Peace Prize or something – which would explain his sudden desire to make things right with me, I'm sure.

"Riiight," I replied, raising an eyebrow at him and his stupidity. "Because when you care about someone, you go and try to kiss their worst frienemy, completely disregarding their feelings, and then you badmouth them to get the frienemy to kiss you. And then you totes go and try to make things right!" I slammed the locker door again, even more angrily. "Yeah, that's not how things work, Oliver. Sorry that I'm being such an inconvenience to your squeaky clean record." And then I stormed away all dramatically. (I'm an actress; what can I say?)

Beck didn't come after me, not that I'd expected him to. After all, he didn't come after me the first time. Why should I expect him to now? Nothing's changed. Especially not him.


Okay, so I just opened my locker, and roses rained down on my head. Currently Tori is sifting through the roses and Andre is laughing like an idiot. I, however, am trying to figure out who it could be. I assume it's not Tori or Andre – obviously they are prime suspects, but since they are here laughing I suppose I'll have to rule them out.

Now Cat has decided to join the party, though she's more interested in incessantly asking me why I'm writing in this stupid journal. "Hey, Jade," she's saying. "What's that? Is that a book? Why are you writing in a book? Did the person who gave you the roses give you that book? Jade, Jade –

Hey I'm Cat! Hehe. This is a cool book! You can write in it. Jade got roses today, probably from her secret admirer. I know who he is, but shh, I'm not allowed to tell anybody.

That was Cat, as you could probably tell from the horrible hearts scrawled above all of her is. She's such a weirdo; I don't understand her most of the time. But she's like, my best friend, so I have to tolerate her. Oh, sometimes I just don't get how I make it through the day.

Now I've got to go, anyway. Beck's walking up, and –


Sorry, the idiot tried to get into my extensive record of my life, so I slammed the book on his hand. All he wanted to do was ask Tori to meet him in the library before lunch, most likely to make out. I just gave him this wicked scowl and turned to my locker, because really I must admit that I hate him sometimes. Like, a lot.

Also Ryder Daniels asked me out today at lunchtime. He sauntered up to me all cocky-like and was all, "Jadelyn West, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

Of course I said no, but he just kept asking until I said yes. So now I've got a date on Friday night, and honestly I only agreed to make Beck jealous. As if. That kid has less emotion than a robot before they install his hard drive.

I mean, let's be honest, Ryder Daniels is gorgeous. He's also insanely annoying, though – probably less so than Beck, but then again, it took me a while to warm up to Beck. And also he's a player and a user, which is really a definite no for me. At least he's better than Shapiro. (Then again, a lot of guys are better than Shapiro.)

I guess we'll see, won't we? I just don't see myself and Daniels sharing anything long-term. I don't see myself tolerating him for more than an hour, if I'm honest with myself. And I feel kinda bad because I'm using him, but I prefer to think of it as revenge. Using the user, you see.

Besides, I'm bringing my scissors along, in case he tries anything with me.

The best part of all this is that Ryder is exactly the kind of guy that Beck hates. Gorgeous, stuck-up, uses girls, annoying, talented – all qualities that the two of them share, really, which makes Beck a big, stupid hypocrite. I already knew that, though.


So I just posted on my Slap page about my date, and not thirty seconds later, my phone started buzzing. Now, to be honest, I had expected a reaction out of Beck, but not so soon and not like this.

"What are you thinking, Jade?" Beck demanded as soon as I picked up the phone. His voice was pretty freaking loud, so loud that I had to keep the phone a safe distance away from my ear so that I didn't like, bust any eardrums or something. That would be rather unfortunate.

"I was thinking that I'm single and Ryder Daniels is pretty freaking hot," was my response. "I mean, what do you care? I'm not your girlfriend anymore."

"Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious," Beck said, his voice still trembling a bit – out of anger, I'd assume. Just the mental image of Beck crying – I don't know, it seems so ludicrous.

"I think you mean Catherine Obvious," I retorted, and he laughed, which was kind of stupid. It was kinda like we were dating again, bickering over stupid things and then making each other laugh. It startled me a little bit – I hadn't thought that Beck and I were capable of civil conversation. So quickly I changed the subject. "Anyway. Why are you hating on Ryder Daniels?"

Beck made one of his stupid noises of disgust. "Jade, he's Tori's ex-boyfriend. You'd be upset if Tori went on a date with your ex-boyfriend, would you not?"

"Well, considering my ex-boyfriend already almost kissed Tori, I guess that is a legitimate concern," I shot back, feeling angry again. One of the things I hate about Beck Oliver is that he is right a lot of the time, and therefore he is a very hard person to argue with. He makes valid points more often than not. This makes him very, very annoying, at least to me.

Beck just sighed again. "How did you know?" he asked, his voice sounding super defeated, like more upset than I'd ever heard him before, though I can't imagine why. Not like he cares about me at all.

"Tori left her webcam on," I told him, feeling like, obligated to explain or some chiz. "You know, from where she was chatting with Cat. And I saw… everything."

"Jade, I…" He trailed off. "I'm sorry." It was a lame apology, really. I'm sure he would've done better had it been Tori or some other pretty, talented girl. But since I'm Jade West, I obviously don't deserve any better. Ha.

"No, I'm sorry," was all I could really say. "Sorry that I ever went out with your sorry butt."

"Ryder Daniels is a player," Beck pleads. "I just don't want you to get hurt, okay? He hurts girls."

"Too bad I'm not just girls, I'm Jade West," I remind him, at the risk of sounding like Cat or something. "And for someone who doesn't want me to get hurt, you sure do hurt me an awful lot." Then I hit the End button on my phone, successfully ending our conversation. The fact that I love him is really quite pathetic at this point. After all, he is a Class A jerk, and I have every right to wish that he would just stay out of my life for good. Yet somehow, I still want him around. See? I'm pathetic.

I'm pretty sure that Beck kept texting me after that, cause my phone kept going off every two seconds, but I ignored him. If he wanted to play that game, then I would play back, and I would play to win, because Jade West never loses.

And now I've started talking in the third person. I'm fairly certain that's one of the signs of insanity.


UPDATE: Yahoo Answers says that talking to yourself in the third person is only a sign of insanity if you're unaware of it. Looks like I'm fine for now.


So today was my date with Ryder Daniels. I wasn't expecting it to go well. My mom's crappy self-help book says that 'negative thinking can influence the chakras of a day' or some chiz. In other words, if you think a day won't go well, then it won't. And go well, it did not.

I mean, to start off it was pretty nice. Ryder likes to talk about himself an awful lot, and he told me I looked gorgeous more often than I was really comfortable with, but aside from that he seemed like a decent enough guy. Plus his face was enough to make up for his negative points. Let's face it, Ryder Daniels is kind of gorgeous.

And just as he seemed to show an interest in talking about me, Beck Oliver showed up. As in, my ex-boyfriend Beck Oliver. As in, the biggest jerk in the world Beck Oliver. I nearly spit my coffee into Ryder's face, which probably would have killed his interest in me right there.

"Something wrong?" Ryder asked all innocently.

"Course not," I said hoarsely, having choked on my coffee a bit when it was going down. "Everything's fine. I just… I need to go to the bathroom. Be back in a second."

So I stomped over to where Beck was sitting, looking like a perfect angel instead of a horrible snake with muddy brown eyes, and I hissed, "What the heck do you think you're doing, Beck Oliver?"

He just frowned at me and said, "Look, Jade, I don't think that Ryder kid is right for you."

"I don't think that shade of red is right for your skin tone either," I replied breezily, and then suddenly everything clicked – Beck's sudden dislike of Ryder, the fact that he was here (where I had posted on TheSlap that I'd be), and the fact that he seemed so darn angry all of a sudden. I raised an eyebrow at him and smirked. "Hang on a second, are you jealous?"

"No," Beck retorted, but the angry look on his face said otherwise. "I just don't think that you and Ryder go well together."

"Oh, and who does go well with me, then?" I replied coldly. "Since you obviously don't think that you and I go well together, Mr. Not Happy With Our Relationship."

That made him splutter a bit, and I had to laugh. After all, tormenting him is one of my absolute favorite things to do ever since we broke up. I like to think of it as much deserved payback. At last, he just stared at me, and before I knew what was really happening, he was kissing me. Like, really roughly. It nearly knocked me off my feet, but I am Jade West so I managed to stay upright.

But, you know, I'm pretty sure that's not how dates are supposed to go. I mean, when you go on a date with one guy, you're not supposed to end up kissing your ex-boyfriend. That might be seen as rude.

And the look of heartbreak on Ryder's face when he walked up to me was payback enough. I just stared at Ryder with wide eyes, hearing what he said but not taking it in – "Jade, I can't believe you. You just said yes to me to make him jealous, didn't you? I can't believe I thought you were different." Then he was walking away, and I couldn't make myself move to stop him.

The guilt was absolutely killing me. I frowned, turning back to Beck, and hissed the three words that I said to people often enough but hardly ever meant: "I hate you."

Because really, I do hate him. I hate the fact that after all he's done to me and is doing (I mean, he just ruined my first okay date in ages), he can still make me feel like jelly when he kisses me. And I legitimately don't understand how I can be in love with a guy who's a jerk most of the time.

Sure, he's human, and sure, he makes mistakes, but he can't keep acting like he's oh-so-perfect all of the time. It's really annoying. He's really annoying. And that's all I'll say about that.


Well, my secret admirer returned today. Today it was a typed card, probably so that I wouldn't recognize the handwriting or whatever, and a box of chocolates. Now I suppose I could've been all Jade West-like and yelled about how I hate chocolates and thrown the box at Shapiro's head, but for whatever reason I was in a strangely generous mood, so I ate a few of them. On the card, someone had typed up a poem that was obviously dedicated to me. It was kinda sweet, you know, the fact that someone had taken the time to write a poem for me. But mostly it was sappy.

I prefer like, eating brains to reading poetry, obviously. (You are never to tell anyone that I said that was sweet, person who is reading this. Do you understand me?)

Anyway, it occurred to me like ten minutes after I ate the chocolates that the person could have poisoned them. When I voiced this concern to Tori, she stared at me like I was insane, then said, "Do you really have that many people who would want to poison you?"

"Yes," I said all briskly, because seriously that girl is way too innocent. She's almost Cat-level innocent, and I still doubt Cat knows about the birds and the bees yet.

"Name them," Tori retorted, and quickly I began to rattle off a list, which made her just groan and shake her head like I was the crazy one. Yahoo Answers says I'm 1000% sane, so Vega should just check herself before she wrecks herself.

Anyway, hopefully I won't die from these poisoned chocolates, and hopefully my secret admirer will give me something that's more useful tomorrow. You know, like a chainsaw or an axe. I do need a new axe.


After Math class, I decided to go like, apologize to Ryder. Yahoo Answers says that's what normal people do when they hurt someone's feelings or whatever. I wouldn't know, seeing as I am a stone cold ice queen who may as well just be a statue. (Yeah, right.)

I immediately started stammering as soon as I saw him, though. "Yo, um, Ryder. I – I thought I'd apologize, cause you, like, seemed really bummed when Beck kissed me, and yeah, I'm sorry…"

"Wait, Beck kissed you?" This seemed to dumbfound Ryder, though I'm not sure why. Of course Beck kissed me. I'm only like, the most appetizing girl in the world; I don't blame him really.

"Yes, Beck kissed me," I repeated impatiently. "But seriously, you should accept my apology, cause – "

"Oh, that changes things," Ryder informed me, crossing his arms. "Course I forgive you. But do you want me to go beat him up, because –"

"I can take care of myself," I jumped in. I've got new scissors, after all. They could be rather useful for cutting off Beck's fifty feet of hair while he sleeps. "So your help's not really necessary. Thanks, though."

"Any time, my lady," Ryder said, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "But, um, Jade? Do you still, like, love him or whatever? Because if so…"

"Yeah," I told him, pulling back a little bit. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that too, because he's horribly suckish."

"I'd have to agree there." Ryder laughed warmly. (I wonder what Vega and Beck got so worked up over, really. Ryder's a good guy. He just has issues with relationships and keeping them, much like me.) "Sorry about that."

"Speak of the devil," I replied with a groan, glancing over to see Beck striding toward us, looking beyond livid (though he had no reason to be). Ryder raised an eyebrow at me and then waved at me as he walked off, an amused look on his face. I frowned at my ex-boyfriend as he walked up to me. "What?"

"Ryder kissed you," he told me, pointing out the obvious once again. "And Jade, I just…"

"Yeah, on the cheek, like a friend kiss," I retorted, glaring at him. "Like an I'm sorry that you're not in love with me because you're in love with a nominee for biggest jerk of the year kind of kiss. Not an oh Jade I love you so much kind of kiss."

Beck just stared at me for a second, like it hadn't really sunk in yet that I'd just kind of confessed my love for him. And I don't know, maybe he doesn't actually consider himself a jerk. But that would make him slightly delusional.

And then he just leaned over and kissed me again. But this time, I didn't actually pull back. I stayed there for like a minute or two, and then l leaned back. "I can't do this," I hissed at him, and then I kinda ran away. Not because I was scared, but because I didn't – don't trust myself around him.

Then Cat skipped up to me, all, "Hey Jade, what's up? Why are you hiding in that corner? One time my brother hid in a corner, and then…" I didn't bother listening to the rest, mostly because Cat's stories about her brother usually end up with his head getting stuck in something, which is ew.

And now I'm in my room blasting what Jeremiah, my younger brother, likes to call my 'emo music' and singing along loudly. Probably Jeremiah is recording me, so he can sell my 'covers' on iTunes. Whatever, the kid won't make any money anyway.


Today was like, the weirdest day ever. So I got another gift today, a pair of nice scissors (finally, the admirer figured out what I'm into), but this time the note that the 'secret admirer' had included was signed. At the bottom, it said, "Love you, Beck Oliver."

Which, you know, totally isn't obvious at all.

I'm not entirely sure why, but the fact that Beck was my secret admirer all along kind of shocked me. And then he strolled up to my locker, all, "So, are you surprised?" When I didn't answer, he apparently took that as a cue to continue, because he said, "Look, Jade, I'm really sorry about everything. I shouldn't have dumped you, I shouldn't have stalked you, and I definitely shouldn't have ruined your date or kissed you when you didn't want me to. I just… I'm in love with you. And I don't know how not to be. I understand if you don't want me back, and I'm – mmph!"

This time it was my turn to cut him off with a kiss, because you know, we're totally taking turns now. He didn't seem to object, either.

Once he pulled away, I smirked at him and said, "You were rambling."

"Maybe I should ramble more often," he said all breathily, which is really quite attractive and warranted another kiss from me. Everyone in the hallway was staring at us at this point, so I made sure to pull away from him and threaten them all in various ways. This time, Beck just laughed.

You know, maybe I was wrong. Maybe he has changed. After all, if Ryder Daniels can change for the better, then I'm sure that Beck Oliver could do the same. (And also it seems like he's an even better kisser than before, but shh, don't tell anyone.)


Hey, it's Cat! :] You know, Beck and Jade are back together now, and they're soso cute! I think that Beck really loves her like, a LOT, and Jade loves him too like LOTS AND LOTS. And they should get married and move into a magic sugar castle. Speaking of getting married… I might know a little secret about that, but shh cause I'm not supposed to tell! Bye! :]


Cat stole my, um, totally not a journal again, and this time she read it. Then after she read it, she proceeded to go tell Beck about everything in it, including the bad things.

So Beck came over here and was all, "You think I'm horribly suckish and an idiot?"

"Yes," I said truthfully, and then he looked kinda pathetic, which made me feel bad for him. So I patted him on his head like a puppy dog and said, "But you're my horribly suckish idiot. So it's okay."

In hindsight, that sounds pretty cheesy, but I guess I can be cheesy at times. Not as much as Beck, though. He should be a Cheez-It because he's so full of cheese. No, he should brie a Cheez-It. Get it? (I'm a huge pun fan, honestly. Which is kinda funny, cause I'm Jade West, the scariest girl in school, and I subscribe to Puns Daily.)

Anyway, after that, Beck was all, "Aw, baby, I love you too," and then I had to shove him off of me. I don't get why every girl at school finds him so attractive, because he's a big dork most of the time.

"Yeah, yeah, of course you do," I said placidly, which made him decide to come over and tickle me. And I am seriously going to kill him if he ever does that again, because I'm literally one of the most ticklish people in the world. I should get a Guinness World Record for that.

"You know," Beck muttered into my ear as he held me, "you're like, the most gorgeous girl in the world."

"Stop googling ways to woo girls, Oliver," I retorted. "It's not doing you any favors."

"I have never done that," Beck said, but his face was pink, so he is clearly in denial. It's okay, though. Once I got home, I went straight to Yahoo Answers (because, you know, Yahoo really beats Google any day, only don't tell Beck), and looked up 'ways to woo a boyfriend'.

Most of them were kinda dirty, so I sent the links to Cat, Tori, and Shapiro. They could definitely use the advice.

And then I Yahoo Answer-ed (this is really a verb now, I swear) 'ways to have a successful date' and 'ways to get a girl to date you' and sent them to Ryder. I dunno, maybe he can ask out Tori again or something. And get his ear pierced, cause he'd look way hotter that way.

Then Beck texted me like, "Hey, pretty girl, I love you."

Which is totally unacceptable, you know, because I've got a reputation to uphold. So I replied like, "Did you mean to send this to Vega or."

"No," he responded at once. "There's only one pretty girl for me and that's you, sorry. :]"

"Yeah, yeah," was my response. "Love you too, idiot." Then I slammed down my phone, because I've totally done all of the good deeds I can for today. I'm good deeds-ed out. (My words are the best, I know, I know.)

Anyway, I don't see how anyone can say I'm a bad person at this point. I'm like, a saint. (Except not.)


I woke up today with the sun streaming through my window and the birds chirping. It was like something out of one of those movies that are meant to be 'light-hearted' but, to me, are more like horror movies. So I slammed my blinds shut.

Then I got a text from my boyfriend saying, "Wanna go to the park?"

I replied "Only if I can scare kids." Oh, the sacrifices I make for that boy.

Really, I should feature in one of those 'light-hearted' movies. I swear my heart's the lightest of all.


A/N: this story is suckish and I'm really so sorry; I will write a better Jade-diary fic at some point in time but as of right now this is all I could come up with.

Please read and review and don't fave without reviewing