A/n: Alright, I've been horrible and I feel horrible for it- throw stones at me or whatever modern punishment you see fit for not updating regularly like AT ALL. I've just been so busy you don't even know, and when I wasn't, I lost all inspiration. Anyway, this isn't even the full chapter- sucks I know- but you all deserve at least a sneak peak. I've been putting off writing the last half 'cause it's intimidating-you'll see why- but when I do have it done it's hopefully going to be awesome and very important for their progress in the story. Yay.
Oh and I know you all want to just get quickly to what happens after Klaus' big confession- and it is in this chapter- but first I thought it'd be fun to rewind a little and show you Caroline's POV of following Klaus. Ok maybe I just enjoy writing her thoughts too much and this might not have as much to do with the plot as it should. Hopefully you'll forgive me for being loopy, it's midnight right now. And plus, I think it's good to see both sides of how Klaroline react to each other.
And as always, ideas and suggestions are encouraged.
Seriously? He thinks he can just make some kind of twisted joke out of a campy expression, wink and then run off? He can't seriously expect me to just sit in this-okay seriously beautiful- hotel room waiting for him to return like some kind of puppy, or worse, like one of his hybrids. I was going to investigate, however foolish that may be... However much I wanted to go up to the room and take a long bubble bath to maybe calm myself a bit from the ohmygod-ness ringing in my head that this day had induced. Or ok it was just Klaus himself that had induced it, but it's easier for me to deal with all of this if I stubbornly and persistently deny to myself the fact that he can affect me.
So naturally, I followed him. I ignored the fact that it might not be my best deicion because honestly if the meeting was of the safe and happy variety then it wouldn't be in the middle of the night and he wouldn't have purposely not mentioned it until the last minute. But lately I'd gotten the nagging whisper in the back of my mind saying that Klaus was going to get bored of me soon and...dispose of me the only way a man like him really knows how. I'm not being insecure or paranoid; it just makes sense. He admitted that he only brought me along- wait he kidnapped me, right, still angry about that- because I was a challenge and I unsettled him. Now that I'd let him um...yeah again, I'm not the best decision maker. Well now the challenge was obviously gone.
I'm not moping, but seriously this is Klaus, if you're not of any use to him, you normally don't live that long. And honestly, it pissed me off. I don't know what it was, but that nagging in the back of my head didn't just scare me, it upset me, made me mad. At him. Because how was I supposed to know if he even cared? I didn't want to go travelling around with someone who wouldn't give a flying fuck if I jumped off a bridge. The speculating was useless because i could never escape him- and I wasn't sure anymore if I really wanted to at all. And that was what was bugging me; if I irrationally had formed some sort of sick attachment to him and he didn't care at all...then I'd just fallen into another one of my classic Caroline Forbes situations where I'm with he wrong guy and don't notice until half way in that he was never even into me in the first place- Stefan, Matt, Tyler...I just couldn't do that again. And I was aware that even putting Klaus in that former category of guys was foolish, twisted, and sort of cringe worthy, or laugh worthy, I wasn't sure.
As I crept along the dark, cobble-stone paved roads after him in the Russian night, I felt idiotically like I was in one of those old timey spy movies I used to love. It was a horrible time to be thinking of that, but something about the cold wind hitting my face reminded me of cinematography. I bit my lip as a small vein of fear made its way into my mind- and actually, it should be a lot more than 'little'- when Klaus weaved his way farther into the seedy-looking part of the city. Ok, it's St. Petersburg, everywhere looks old and kind of creepy in a cool way, but it was cold and dark and I had no idea when he was going to stop or if he had actually noticed me following him ages ago and was leading me into some abandoned street corner to finally kill me. I know he said he didn't want to kill me, but reminder- the man has major bipolar issues.
Finally he turned onto a street that led to a large looking gothic castle at the end of the road that had high arched windows and steepled roofs slanting over different sections and columns. If I wasn't currently half-scared and half-frozen, I would've loved the building.
When we reached the end of the road, he didn't turn to the door to walk in, instead he opted to go around back and I watched intently as he found a hidden drop door in the lower section of one black, crumbling wall, and dropped through it. Oh, wait...I know I'm a vampire now, but...dropping into an unkown pit in the middle of the night? Not sure I'm okay with that. But I jumped anyway. Because I'm not girly Caroline, I'm Caroline Forbes in Russia with Klaus Mikaelson. I'm 'sweetheart' and 'love' apparently, and maybe I should just accept that...
I pushed the plaguing thoughts out of my head with a deep breath before I bent down and picked up the moldy trap door he just had, looked down once into the darkness, before closing my eyes and dropping through.
Plop. Well, that was anticlimactic, I thought as I stood and brushed myself off. I looked up and the moonlit black sky was visible through the trap door that was only actually like five feet or so up. I had to hunch a little as I walked and quickly realized that this was a set of underground tunnels that had probably been dug out hundreds of years ago. The smell wasn't the most pleasant, but I felt in charge of my life for once. I felt empowered because I was choosing to disobey him. In the middle of the murky tunnels, I felt vindicated, as silly as that sounds.
I had to pay close attention to not lose him in the tunnels or have myself be seen or noticed by his impeccable senses. Really, I was quite impressed with myself actually. That is, until I saw him turn to the right where a door was letting out low gold light that I assumed must be coming from torches or something. ( Or maybe they'd randomly figured out how to install electricity down here, but judging from the lack of um...decor, I'd say not.)
I walked right up to the door, but stayed outside. I'm not a total idiot. I decided to listen in on the conversation instead. From what I gathered, these men were some ancient werewolf pack, probably had something to do with what Kol had called him here for in the first place...
After fifteen minutes, I got tired of waiting and tired of the weirdly blank feeling in my stomach that notified me that what Klaus was discussing with these men- backdoor deals and hybridizing and tons of other shady immoral business- didn't bother me, or not consciously. I felt guilty for not feeling guilty or upset. How does that even work?
In an attempt to banish the stupid feelings, I decided to lash out and be reckless. I stepped into the room.
"This is who you were meeting with?"
Klaus' golden head immediately snapped around to look at me and there was some foreign emotion in his eyes that I didn't quite catch before he pushed it away, but his eyes were still wide and he was starting to glare at me. No, he doesn't get to be the mad one.
"Caroline!" His voice roared, "Get out of here!"
It was an angry and ardent plea, but he had no reason to be angry besides that I'd disobeyed him, but I always do that.
Before I could snap at him, a young, blond, scruffy werewolf stood up and glared at Klaus, "You know that leech, Mikaelson?"
Um, excuse me, leech?!
"Yes," Klaus bit out, his eyes glaring at me even as he stepped in front of me and blocked my view of the asshole, "Unfortunately."
"You didn't honestly expect me to stay in the room waiting on you, did you?" I glared right back at him.
His eyes immediately began boring into mine, trying to tell me something I couldn't understand, I guessed. But he looked...scared...for the first time I'd ever witnessed. And any form of fear in Klaus Mikaelson was enough to give me the message that I should run.
"Step aside, Niklaus. We must rid the Earth of here poison."
The wolf's words shocked me into a stupid paralysis.
"Caroline, do you actually want to die? Get out!"
I wasn't offended at the rude words or the tone of his voice, instead I was angry at myself for being so stupid before I was running as fast I could back to the safe hotel room where no one wanted to kill me. I should've just taken that bubble bath.
The rest of the night was a blur of strangely polite partings, yelling, and kissing, and more yelling until the last words he'd just said. It'd hurt him if I were hurt? What...but that would mean...
My head was beginning to spin. I'd spent the last week thinking that I was just being forced into being his plaything and that any feelings or anything remotely similar I'd been having towards him were ridiculous and unwarranted and...what the hell? He can't care. He's Klaus. He just doesn't do that.
I was yet again left sounding stupid as he stared on at me with burning blue eyes.
"I," he swallowed and it was the second time ever that I'd seen that emotion in his eyes again- fear, "I didn't mean-it would just mess up the...I..."
I could only stand in the middle of my temporary bedroom, blinking up at the stuttering Original. I'd caused an Original to stutter? What world had I suddenly been transported to because it made absolutely no sense.
Why the hell had I said that? Why had I said anything? Why had I left my bedroom in the first place? Why did she have to find her way underneath my skin and why couldn't I deny it anymore? It used to be much easier to ignore than this. I wanted to believe again that it wasn't true, that I hadn't been this foolish. This is weakness, I'd perpetually drilled that into my family and myself. Now, I supposed, she was making me a hypocrite or a liar...
She only stared up at me, looking for answers I couldn't give and didn't want to give. Answers that I knew were there, but wished didn't exist.
"Klaus..." she stepped up to me and her cornflower blue eyes bore into mine as she stood an inch from my chest and hesitantly put a soft hand on my shoulder.
I clenched my jaw against the onslaught she caused in me, "Caroline, I told you-don't."
She stared up at me fiercely and cocked her head to the side rebelliously, "Why not? Why can't I touch you? You let me touch you before and if I remember right you actually kind of liked it."
I could tell from the sass that she was getting angry with me, but I couldn't fathom why and that was exactly why I didn't want this to happen. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do attatchment or caring. That's why I dagger my family when they endanger themselves or my plans- I can't deal with difficult situations, I can't deal with people or things actually mattering to me. What had I done? I repeatedly asked myself.
"That's different, Caroline..."
I stepped back, feeling as if I'd just been burned by her shout and once again hating her power to affect me, "What?" I snapped.
"That. Distancing yourself. Using my name. You never do that. And I know why you're trying it now."
I glared at her; she was assuming things about me, things she didn't have a right to understand but somehow probably did.
"You don't know anything about me, Caroline, so stop acting like you can read me. Stop acting like what I said meant anything."
At my words, her eyes lit up with fury and she closed the distance between us again by grabbing my shirt in her fist, "Stop. Lying. To me."
Her voice was venom and her eyes were daggers and felt the effect of both, my heart cinching tight and my face tingled like I'd been slapped.
Heat ignited in my chest as I started breathing heavier and narrowing my eyes at her again, "How would you even know, darling?"
I could tell from her eyes that she knew I was charming her with stinging words to mock the way she assumed to know me. And that bloody well pissed me off more.
Her hand in my shirt flattened out the second before she pushed me back hard, "Because you said it, Klaus! And I may not be brilliant, but I'm smart enough to tell when someone means what they're saying to me- I've been lied to enough before to know the difference- and .it. You said you'd hurt if I was hurt, or am I quoting that wrong?"
My throat felt tight as I fought to find a way to answer her that wouldn't condemn me further, either with myself or with her, "I..I did. So?"
She was outraged. It was adorable. Dammnit.
"So what do you want me to say about it, Sweetheart?"
She blinked, feeling derailed probably as I rendered her argument trivial. I was rather good at that.
"I want you to admit that it meant something; that I was wrong for assuming you didn't give a fuck and most of all I want you to tell me that you actually feel something too so I don't feel insane and guilty and completely STUPID for not hating you!"
My brain temporarily stopped functioning. Too? Was my hearing malfunctioning or did she just yell her feelings back in my face? Conflicting reactions erupted in me at that moment; I wasn't sure if I should be relieved that this thing was not one-sided or even angrier because with two people in this, the bloody idiotic attachment would become even harder to break...I was also not sure if I even intended to break it. I would eventually though, I always do...
Her breathing was becoming more labored as well. I chose to ignore the glaring irony of that considering neither of us actually requires breathing.
"Well, are you going to say anything?!" She angrily blew her bangs out of her face and the silly little mannerism lit something in me- it's natural for vampires to associate any intense feeling, such as anger, with other attractions. Not to mention that grabbing her and pinning her against a wall would be so much easier than finishing this conversation. I wasn't sure if she would accept that or if it'd make her angrier on the grounds that she probably wants this conversation to finally be settled. Conversation, argument, shouting match-same thing with us.
And for the first time in a long time, I decided that my best option was to just be honest with no motives besides that I honestly did not know what to do in this situation. That's why I had avoided putting myself in situations like this for the past millennia. Then she had to come along.
"I wouldn't count on it, no."
She only continued glaring at me, "I just admitted that I care about you, like the idiot baby vampire that I probably am, and you just stand there silently? No, that's not how it's going to-"
This whole thing, the anger and passion and confusion and yelling, I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't keep the calm anymore. So I went with the only option I had left.
I rolled my eyes and growled, "Oh, shut up, love."
And with that, I grabbed the back of her neck, tangling my fingers in her soft blond tresses as I pulled her into me, her entire front molding to mine immediately like the easiest thing in the world. And I guess this was, for us. This was easy. We didn't have to use words to communicate things- which was all the better for me because she can't throw things that I say back at me this way; all the things I tell her by this means are untranslatable
She shocked me by being the one to close that last inch between us and sear her lips onto mine. She moaned when a second later I ran my tongue over her bottom lip, nibbling slightly. She gasped in surprise because I'd never asked permission before. I didn't want to think about why I did, what had had caused the change. It's a good thing then that kissing her tends to render me unable to think in complete sentences.
Her moan vibrated down through me as she obliterated all my control.
I wasn't expecting this; there was a different edge to the way he kissed me now. All the other times, he was domineering, dominant, strong, and scorching, like burning steel. I couldn't define it, but something seemed different now; maybe I was wrong, but he seemed to cling to me, keep every part of me touching him as we breathed each other's breaths that he actually seemed to need.
If what he'd accidentally said was true, than me storming into his meeting and almost getting myself killed had actually scared him. I guess it was the only reason he let his guard down long enough- even accidentally- to admit anything to me. He was shaken. I didn't want to think about what that meant for a man like Klaus- because it never happens- so I just kept my grip on his shirt tight and kept kissing him.
I pulled harder on his shirt, pressing myself flat against his chest. If I didn't know better, I'd say the sound he made in the next second was contented.
But then his eyes blinked open and he pulled back an inch from me, taking in a deep, unnecessary breath, "Caroline, we-"
His face was rather…angsty. There was something in his eyes that looked torn. Like he wanted to continue, but something was holding him back.
"What?" I whispered.
"I can't let myself do this," his voice was soft for once, like I'd only ever heard when he was threatening someone, but it sounded completely different from that tone. It was reverent, but tortured and his face matched his words. His head tilted slightly to the side and there was something dreamy about the look in his crystal blue eyes. He wore a sad smirk that looked ancient and before I realized what he was doing, he ran the back of his hand down the side of my face gently. Gentle. Never thought I'd use that word to describe him, but now...I didn't even know anymore.
An: Ok so I honestly don't know when the full chapter will be up. Hopefully this weekend or next week, but I'm not gonna lie and make promises my writers' block might not let me keep. I will try to get it done as soon as possible for you guys.
Ideas and comments are always welcome, even criticism, if it's helpful.