Summary: Sometimes 'I'm Sorry' doesn't cut it
Author Notes: Thank you to my lovely beta VCCV for correcting this . The Song used is "Apologize" by Onerepublic.
"I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue."
Another night, bodies entangled and the smell of sweat lingers in the air. Hands gently ghosting over slick skin and lips crashing together in desperate needy kisses. This had become their ritual; friends by day, lovers by night.
"I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound."
"Stiles," Scott says breathily.
Stiles turns his head, and his eyes meet Scott's. For a few moments there is just silence. The two of them gazing at one and other, listening to the steady beats of their hearts.
"I love you Stiles." His voice is tender and sweet. "You're my everything. Without you I'm nothing." Scott places his hand on Stiles' cheek and strokes it with his thumb. "I wouldn't trade you for the world." He pulls Stiles close, placing a loving kiss to his forehead.
"I need you like a heart needs a beat there's nothing new."
But, it's the same thing every time. No matter what is said that night, beautiful meaningful words, it means nothing in the morning. The gentle, caring lover is gone and they're back to just buddies.
"I take another chance."
Even so, Stiles always goes back to Scott. It's not all he knows, but it is what's most familiar. The feeling of security and knowing he's understood and loved keeps him taking those chances. Even if they result in his heart breaking each time he sees Scott with Allison; kissing her, holding her, whispering to her what Stiles is pretty sure are the same words that Scott said to him the night before.
"Take a fall for you."
Sometimes, Stiles doesn't understand why he feels the need to take the blame for everything Scott does. He's not the one that became the badass werewolf. He's just Robin, the decoy and the bait. It hurts him every time Scott just blithely agrees to Stiles risking his life, and when he loses his shit over Allison in the same position. He hates that he can't stop the hurt, that he can't stop loving Scott. He hates that all he's become is Scott's late night fuck buddy.
"You tell me that you need me, then you go and cut me down."
"What am I to you?" Stiles untangles his body from Scott's and sits up, covering his lower half with the blanket.
"What do you mean," Scott smiles, stretching lazily.. " I just told you, you're my everything."
"Then what is Allison?" Stiles spoke harshly. "What the fuck is she? Just your arm candy for school? Am I not good enough for you in public?" The betrayal and anger had built up until he just doesn't care about tiptoeing around Scott's feelings anymore.
"She's a toy, nothing more." Scott rubs his eyes until he sees colors. "You're so mother- fucking needy, Stiles," Scott snaps. "Jesus!"
"You tell me that you're sorry."
Stiles pulls the blanket off and gets out of bed. He finds his clothes one by one, and begins sliding them on. Scott just stares unbelieving and confused. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Stiles should have agreed and apologized and snuggled down to begin round two. But it's pretty clear that round two isn't on the table anymore, and Scott isn't quite sure what damage he's just caused
He quickly flings himself off the bed, yanking his boxers on. He moves to Stiles, grabbing his arm and turning him face to face; Confused and worried face to resigned and hurt face.
"Get the fuck off me." Stiles shoves him away.
"I didn't mean it like that," Scott tries to reason. "You mean everything to me, Stiles, I swear. I'm sorry, so fucking sorry."
"Didn't think I'd turn around and say that it's too late to Apologize"
"Fuck you." Stiles glares at Scott, searching for true feelings behind Scott's words and finding only blind panic. "Fuck you." he repeats. Scott reaches out in an attempt to pull him in close, but he steps away, tugging his shoes on and snagging his backpack.
"Stiles," Scott was begging now. "Stiles, please." Stiles smiles sadly.
"I'm done." He turns and begins walking for the door.
"Stiles, I love you." Scott chokes back tears. "I'm sorry."
"You have a funny way of showing it." His voice was soft. "And it's a little late for apologies." Stiles opens the door and walks out into the hall whispering, "Bye, Scott."
"I'm holding on your rope got me ten feet off…"
Stiles knows very well that, regardless of his own words here tonight, that he'll be back. He can't live anymore without Scott in his life, and he refuses to replace him with anyone. It breaks his heart to know Scott will never give Allison up for him, but he knows these are the facts that he has to live with; the conditions of their 'relationship; Stiles loves Scott, and Scott won't come to terms with the fact he loves Stiles, too. So, fuck buddies they will stay. Stiles hates himself for not walking away permanently, his posturing is all well and good, but he knows he'll cave. It might be tomorrow at school, or he might hold out a couple of weeks, but in the end, he'll be back. He loves and hates Scott for all the conflicting emotions and feelings he has rolling around in his head. Despite his brave words here, tonight, until he can back them up with the strength to move on, there is no end in sight. So, Stiles will just take what Scott is willing to offer. And he knows he'll cherish every crumb.