This was just a weird idea my friend and I had after staying up having a LOTR marathon and getting quite hyper. Which, in turn, lead to an interesting duscussion on what would happen if Saruman was rainbow coloured, not white. And what if he released a dance fitness DVD...

So then a couple of days ago we came up with this idea. It's crazy, mental and is based largely on the fact that the ring is not a ring anymore, it is a magical pink sparkly legwarmer that gives you magical dancing powers. I know. We're weird. But give us a chance.

Concerning Hobbits.

This book is largely concerned with Hobbits, and from its pages a reader may discover much of their character and a little of their history. Further information will also be found in the selection from the Fuchsia Book of Westmarch that has already been published, under the title of The Hobbit. That story was derived from the earlier chapters of the Fuchsia Book, composed by Bilbo himself, the first Hobbit to become a famous dancer in the world at large, and called by him There and Back again, since it told of his adventures with a dwarf line dancing troupe in the East and his return: and adventure which later involved all the Hobbits in the greater events of that Age that are here related.

Hobbits are an obtrusive, self-centred peoples, with a liking for spandex and cheap 'bling', more numerous formerly than they are today; for though they love meaningless noise and flourished in the 80s pop era, the disco scene (which was their favourite haunt) is now greatly diminished, with only a few good nightclubs left in the country. They did, and do not, understand machines more complicated than a forge-bellows, a water-mill, or a hand-loom, being a particularly dimwitted race. Even in ancient days they were, as a rule, shy of 'the big folk', as they call us, and now they avoid us and are becoming hard to find. They are quick of hearing and sharp tongued, always ready to return an insult, and though they are inclined to be fat and do not hurry unnecessarily, they are nontheless nimble and deft in their movements, turning flips and leaping around everywhere. Although rather large and fat, they possess the art of disappearing into small holes in the ground which, on closer inspection turn out to be some sort of dwelling which even a drowned rat would turn it's nose up at. They are disagreeable, insulting, and always ready for a fight.

They smoke almost constantly, and so wheeze, cough and splutter their way around the dance floor. They smoke a kind of 'weed' of which they have assured the author 'it's not what it sounds like', although, admittedly, they were high when they said that.

Hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter will be up soon - in the meantime - please review!