Chapter Thirteen (oooo lucky number)
I had actually closed my eyes as she stroked my hair. I had actually let her wrap her arms around me. I had actually let myself go. Is Bella Swan falling? That's crazy though, she isn't someone I could even find myself having a future with. I can't even imagine being with her, yet here I am. Letting myself get caught up in the moment, letting myself relax into her sweet embrace. If this is what it feels like to have a girlfriend, I wouldn't mind having a girlfriend. When Jake was my boyfriend we never did anything like this. We just sat awkwardly next to each other. He never tried to get me as close to him as possible, maybe that was because he knew my limits, but having someone hold you like Rosalie is doing right now feels great. Maybe having a girlfriend won't be that bad. Maybe I can just accept that I like Rosalie, but does that mean I'm losing or I'm winning? Could I be losing myself to Rosalie Hale? Or could I be gaining a part of myself by being with Rosalie?
"Hey, you okay?" I can hear concern laced in her voice. Am I? Could I be amazingly well? Or could I be not too great because I'm not too sure if I'm okay? All these questions are swirling in my head I'm actually not sure how I am. I should get up and take a couple paces away from her, just to clear my head, because I'm pretty sure her perfume is messing with my mind.
So, like the idiot I am, I say "What kind of perfume are you wearing?" What the hell am I thinking? Or, really, what the hell am I not thinking? What kind of perfume is she wearing, what the hell is that? That is the dumbest thing I've ever said to someone. I shouldn't even be allowed to say anything right now because the dumbest things are just fucking my mind.
I can feel her smile, like legit, I can feel it. I can't even see her face, but I know she's smiling. She's probably smiling at what an idiot I am. Oh, God, she probably thinks I have problems! First I spill a slurpee on her and now I'm asking what type of perfume she's wearing. "I'm actually not wearing any perfume right now, but thanks for basically saying I smell nice."
She's not wearing any perfume. Are you serious? So the sweet smell I'm smelling is actually her actual scent. What the hell is wrong with me? I shouldn't even notice how sweet she smells. Why is she doing this to me?
So, even though I'm totally out of it and I should get up and get some fresh air, I don't. I just sit there next to her like the idiot I am. The main reason of why I'm still there is because I actually like resting my face in her boobs, and I just get this feeling in the pit of my stomach that just makes me want to stay. I don't want to stay, but… I want to stay. Wow, that does not make sense at all. The way she makes me feel right now is amazing, but I don't want to feel like this. This feeling is scary, and I feel like I'm falling too fast for her. I've been her girlfriend for like, what, two days? And I'm already falling? Is this how normal couples work? Holy shit, I should write a guide of how to get a girl! All you have to do is spill something on them! It's fucking magic!
"Bella," oh fuck, the way she says my name is enticing. "Seriously, are you okay?" Oh, fuck, that question again. Am I okay? Should I lie and say I am? Is that what girlfriends do? They lie about what they're feeling? Should I be a good girlfriend and say that I'm alright? Or should I tell her what's going on? What makes me a good girlfriend anyway? Does telling the truth about my problems make me a good girlfriend, or does not involving her in the trouble of my life make me a good girlfriend? "Bella." I look up at her. "You can tell me what's going on in your head, you know?" Of course I know!
"I'm just … confused right now." There! The truth! That's what makes me a good girlfriend, hopefully. Telling the truth is always great, right? Oh god, what if it isn't.
Rosalie keeps stroking my head gently and asks the only other question I don't know the answer to, "What're you confused about?"
Think Bella, think! "I'm confused about …" do I tell her the truth about this too? "I'm confused about…"
AN: And that's the end! I know, short as hell! It's been a while really. But…. I'm … kinda …. Falling for someone… which is why … Bella's also falling…. Tell me what you guys think!