AN: Sorry for not updating for more than a month. I feel terribly sad and I'd like to make it up to you with a (hopefully) long chapter! Or a decent one. But yeah, I've been swamped with schoolwork but you probably don't want to know about all that shit.
School's tomorrow and I've got to say I am not excited in the least. I'd rather stay in bed all day and cuddle with Rosalie. Speaking of Rosalie, I can't say if she's excited or not, she seems very content on just staying with me for now.
"What do you want to do about tomorrow, Bells?" She asks me, and I honestly don't have an answer for that. Do we come out and hope for the best, or keep it on the down low?
I just shrug my shoulders and reply saying, "It's your call, I can't say much about it. It is mostly just your reputation on the line, I'm practically a nobody, remember?"
Rosalie shoves my shoulder; well, I guess our relaxing day has come to an end. "Are you really going to go on about this again? This has got to be like the tenth time you've brought it up that you're nobody. You're not, to me, you're fucking awesome!" You hear that? I'm awesome. But, you know, it's true; I'm a nobody. "And if it's my call then I say we come out together. We can tell everyone we're dating, I don't care if they stare or whisper about us."
I frown up at her in her arms and tell her what's really on my mind. "But in all reality, won't you? Won't it bother you that they're saying things like 'Oh, look how poor Rosalie is dating that strange delinquent girl. It's so sad how she has to settle so much.' Aren't you worried about people saying that? Isn't it going to eat at you as time goes by? I'm sure you wouldn't want to be with me after like two weeks after telling everyone."
I probably should have shut my mouth sooner due to the fact that Rosalie pulled away from the embrace that we both tangled ourselves into. She looks directly into my eyes and with all seriousness she tells me, "I don't care what people think about us. I'm not going to let anyone dictate my life. I want to be with you and I want everyone to know." She then pauses and searches my face. What she's searching for, I'm not sure, but I think she found whatever she was looking for. "But to me, it doesn't sound like you're worried about me regretting telling everyone. It doesn't sound like you're worried about what I will do. It seems like you're worried about you will do. Like you're worried you'll walk out on me or you'll regret being with me and you'll let what other people say get into your head and have it eat at you." I honestly can't say if what she's saying is true or not. I don't want it to be that's for sure.
Turning away from her piercing blue eyes I mumble, "That's not true." Not because I know it's not true, but because I don't want it to be true. I don't want to seem like the weaker and turn away from her when things get hard, but I know me, and when I get into a relationship it scares me. So, when people start talking about us like we're freaks, then I don't know if I could handle it. I don't want to be vulnerable to the entire school, hell; I can hardly stand being vulnerable with Rosalie who, I might remind you, is my girlfriend.
"Bella, don't turn from me." I can hear the warning seeping out of her voice. She is obviously not very happy with me, but I don't care, right? Because I'm not supposed to care about what happens to other because of something that I do.
Instead of actually doing what she says and turning back around I just close my eyes and tell her in my most unemotional voice, "Too late, I'm already turned around."
And that's when I realized I should think about what I say before actually saying it. Why did I realize this, you ask? Well, let's just say Rosalie kinda … Exploded.
"Bella Fucking SWAN! You do not get to act like the stubborn emotionless bitch just because you start feeling vulnerable! I am trying very hard to get to know the girl that I call my girlfriend and here you are making things way harder than they already are. Why can't you be easy and just tell me what's wrong? I honestly want to know what makes your head tick, what makes you scared, but you worry about. I want to get to know you inside and out. And I know you're way more than some hard headed girl who's too much of a badass to show any emotion." And as her speech ended, her voice softened and she forcefully, but gently, rolled me over to look at her again.
I'm sure what she saw in my eyes wasn't anything she expected. I wasn't even expecting it. There's like liquid stuff coming out of my eyes, and from what I can tell they're salty. Ugh, what the fuck! Am I fucking melting! No, no, no, I am so not crying in front of Rosalie Hale. Crying is for when you're alone in bed thinking about all the shit in your life. Crying is not for when you're in front of someone while talking about your relationship. I have to be strong in relationships. I can't let anyone know how soft my shell actually is. I just can't.
"I just want to get to know you, babe." Is the last thing she whispers before wrapping me in her soft, secure arms and lets me silently cry into her shoulder. And as I cried I whispered to her "I can't." Over and over again, I don't know why I kept whispering that to her. Maybe it was more to tell myself that I can't, like putting a restriction to myself, because I can't really means I don't want to.
As Rosalie combed her hand through my hair she said into my ear, "We don't have to come out now. I can see that you're not ready. We'll wait and we'll grow together then we can tell everyone side by side, because I'll always be by your side while you need me." To be vulnerable with Rosalie feels fine, it almost feels right to be stripped of the mask I wear 24/7. It almost feels like I'm free with her, and I'm okay with that.
I some how fell asleep in her arms as she rocked my back and forth.
Some unknown person shakes me awake. Slowly I open my eyes and see the girl that I now dream of so constantly trying to wake me up. Her smile makes my heart flutter like it's about to burst right out of my chest.
"Hey, sleepy head, I think it's time for me to go, it is like almost 10 at night and we do have school tomorrow." The only thing that goes through my mind is "noooo" and by the light chuckle that comes out of Rosalie's lips I'm sure I groaned it with my sleep filled voice. "I have to, Bells, I don't have clean clothes here, so I can't sleep here, 'cause you know I would if I did."
Then as she started to rise up from the crouch she was in I grabbed her wrist, because I honestly didn't want her to go. "You should just get your stuff and come back here." Please do not judge me, I'm tired and I really just want a body to cuddle. I'd rather have a nice sleep than a rough sleep and if that means begging Rosalie to stay with me, then I shall do that.
"Fine, I'll be right back, give me 30 minutes tops, though I'm positive you won't even be awake by the time I'm back." And with that statement and a kiss to my forehead she leaves, thank god it's not for good.
And to say the least, Rosalie was right; I did fall asleep before she came back, but can you blame me? I'm tired and I love sleep. But I did wake up when she climbed into bed with me and that was great.
Curling up to her I mumble a "Goodnight" to her and in response I get a kiss to the lips. The last thing I think is "FUCK YEAH! Talk about goodnight kiss." I would deepen it and totally rock her world, but I'm too tired to even reopen my eyes.
This time when I woke up I felt pretty refreshed. The only thing I have to complain about is that I woke up alone and no blonde bombshell in my room. Damn, I wonder where she ran off to? Looking up at the alarm clock I see that it's barley six in the morning. Okay, where the fuck did that girl go? Maybe she's working on her makeup because girls tend to work hours and hours with their face. I would tell her that she looks fine without it, because she's looks hot no matter what, but I doubt she'd listen to me.
Hopping down the stairs I look into the living room to see no one, which isn't a surprise, usually Charlie's already at work by the time I wake up. The only time he'll be sitting in front of the TV would be when there's a baseball game on or he has a day off from work.
That's when the smell hits me. It smells like pancakes and eggs. Oh geez, I did not realize how hungry I was until right now. I could go for a large breakfast.
Heading down towards the kitchen I see my girlfriend making some breakfast. I wonder how she knew where everything is. Maybe she looked everywhere, which would make sense because she woke up so early.
"Morning, how early were you up?" I ask her as I stand beside her and watch her cook the pancakes.
She grabs me by the waist and hugs me to her side and responds saying, "Just like a half hour ago, the usual time, you know?" The usual time? 5:30 in the morning is the usual time? Well, someone's a morning person.
"Oh." Is all I say, because all I want to do is dig into the masterpiece of food! So far the day is going pretty nicely. Now all we have to do is wait until school actually starts to see how the day will actually be.
"So, what are we going to do, I mean, about us going to school? Are we just going to ignore each other? Do you want me to walk to school? 'Cause I can do that too." Wow, Swan, you really made yourself sound awesome.
Rosalie gives me a frown. "I thought we could ride together to school and, you know, hang out together during lunch and break. But if you don't want to do that, that's fine." But I could see it wasn't fine for her. She really did want people to see us as something, even if they think that something isn't dating, she wants people to know.
I smile at her and I shake my head. "I think that would be a great idea. Gives me more of a reason to behave in class."
Then an hour later we're off to school. And all through the ride I'm crossing my fingers, hoping for the best for the both of us.
AN: And that's a wrap! For this chapter anyway. Hopefully the next chapter will be updated soon, if not, I'm most likely MIA or doing homework. REVIEW! OH and I have a question … what's a good pickup line to use for a girl? Yup, I'm single and ready to mingle, aka, try to get this girl interested in me :D OKAY BYE CYA NEXT TIME!