Disclaimer: All these incredibly awesome characters and world belong to the lovely Richelle Mead
In thirty minutes Sydney would be here. In thirty minutes I would be reminded of something that I cared so much about but couldn't have.
Staying away wasn't an option, not when you were continuously around each other. But then I couldn't stay away regardless. I had to see her, if not every day but at least a couple of times a week. Just to see how she is, to see if she's okay. It was almost like my duty, to know about her well-being. And I couldn't help but check her aura each time she was around.
It had worried me when I saw her aura a couple a days ago at Clarence's, her usual sun like aura with its mysterious tinges of purple, held dark tinges of guilt and sadness. She had given me a smile in response when I had called her attention, but I saw right through it. I could see it in her aura, in her eyes.
She shouldn't be unhappy. It didn't suit her at all.
Sydney will be here in merely twenty minutes, and I would be confused all over again.
She claimed she didn't feel anything for me, but I couldn't believe it. Maybe I wasn't used to rejection, maybe spirit was making me see what I wanted to see. But I still couldn't believe it. If she didn't have feeling for me, why did she kiss me back?
Her aura, her face, her eyes, her words. Told me different things. They weren't balanced, I couldn't understand what she wanted. Did she want to be with me or didn't she?
I hoped it was the former rather than the latter.
Ten more minutes and I'll be reminded of how I royally fucked everything up.
I had missed our random outings, how I could have someone to talk to. How I could send her outrageous messages that I had spent hours on, in hopes of impressing her. I missed her smile, her laugh, her way of making boring sound interesting. I missed her.
It was my fault.
I wouldn't be missing her if I hadn't kissed her. But then it was worth it, if I had thought Sage, out of all people could kiss like that, I would've done it earlier.
Sydney will be here in only seconds, punctuality one of her OCD musts; among others.
I was still worried about her aversion to food. When I had confronted her, I saw the hurt in her eyes but I had to tell her. I didn't want her to feel alone. She didn't deserve to be alone. She didn't deserve to feel unworthy of her own body. She was stunning, gorgeous, the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. But she didn't realise any of it.
She should be here by now. Sydney was never late.
Two minutes for someone else would be fine, but two minutes for Sydney, was a completely different story.
What if something happened to her? I wouldn't know how to live. But she could take care of herself, she had taken classes to learn how to. Sydney was good at fighting, she may have not been a dhampir in the making but she was starting to slowly get there.
I had been in those classes as well, but I stopped. Not because I wasn't up for the challenge, it was just that I couldn't deal with it. Being so close to Sydney, to see her usual proper Alchemist demeanour drop. To smell the intoxicating scent of her body had been too difficult for me, resisting her was one of the most difficult things I had ever done.
No, is doing still.
Where is she?
I walk to my front door, passing the golden-brown irises painted all around the lounge. She occupied my thoughts, when all I wanted to do was forget.
I pull my door open, as my chest connects with a soft hand caught in the motion of knocking.
I feel myself go ridged, her fist lying near my heart, which suddenly beats in milliseconds.
Her enclosed fist lies on my chest for a second longer before she removes it like I'm poison. Her face a deep pink as she glances quickly at me, her eyes wide and so hypnotising before looking away.
"Sydney," I say, in what I hope is a calm voice as I close the door behind me. I missed calling her 'Sage' but I felt like it would be too much for her, I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed. But calling her 'Sydney' made everything so serious between us, but then everything was serious between us these days.
"Hey, Adrian." Her voice is quiet, her eyes still looking away from mine. I love the way she says my name, soft and pleasing to the ears. It made me feel important, like someone cared for me.
I watch her, as the same silence that continuously hung around us settled down. She was beautiful. Her hair was golden, like a halo around her head. Everything was golden about her, her deep brown eyes, her dazzling aura, her gorgeous smile and then the lily. I despised what it stood for, what it made Sydney believe. But I couldn't imagine her without it, it was a part of her.
"You wanna go now," she asks hesitantly, bringing her soft eyes to mine.
I give her a nod in acknowledgment, a small smile at my lips.
"How long will the spell take," I ask.
"Probably till after one," she answers back, looking towards me as she seems to be looking for something.
"Okay," I answer simply, secretly hoping it would last longer.
I was excited to put it simply, to be around Sydney. It would just be us alone in the desert, I wasn't going to try anything on her, that wasn't my type of thing to do. But I was going to try talk to her, I missed our conversations. I knew I wouldn't be able to completely mend everything between us, but I could try. All it would take is time.
I liked writing this chapter, and I hoping you guys liked it too.
Sorry if I didn't get Adrian's emotions how you would've imagined them, but I don't think I'll ever be able to accurately portray his emotions.
Tell me what you think.